Hey, glad you like my advice. Hopefully this measures up. =)

You sound pretty normal. I'm 21 - I sometimes have my period for two days, and I sometimes have it for eight. I'm on birth control, too. Bodies are weird, especially those with hormones raging through them.
Brown blood means it's the end of your period, the uterine lining trickling out, and all that. The brighter red the blood, the faster the flow, and the closer to oxygen. Brown is the color it changes to when it has some time to sit. Red is the color blood changes to when it's exposed to air.
If you're feeling weird, or you're really concerned, ask your doctor. He or she would be happy to answer any questions you have, I'm sure, if you want a professional opinion. (Mine is not professional, simply experience-based.)
Are you having any abnormal pain? Any nausea? Any strange marks down there, or anything? Did your period come too early, or too late? (Keep in mind that if you aren't on birth control, your period can be EXTREMELY irregular. The only reason to be concerned about that is if you're sexually active. If that's the case, I suggest a pregnancy test just in case, because it's better to be safe than sorry.)
If none of these are true, then I'd bet good money that you're fine. You're just suffering from a condition called Adolescence. =P
In layman's terms, you're sixteen. Chances are things won't be exactly the same every time it happens. If you have a light period and nothing feels wrong, be happy and roll with it. =)

Hope this helped.

Siren

Many problems, many levels, but none of us are doctors. We CANNOT legally or ethically diagnose you. If you believe there was blood in your vomit, you need to go to the ER, like, yesterday.

Further analyzing - First problem (#1): you were hungry and didn't eat. Second problem (#2): You didn't eat and started drinking. Third problem (#3): You've been skipping breakfast.

Further detail: #1 - LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. If you're hungry, chances are you aren't giving your body enough nutrients. Therefore, it craves more of the necessary fuels. Therefore, you get hungry.
#2 - Alcohol is an irritant, and a poison. If you drink on an empty stomach, chances are you'll puke. Food acts as a buffer for the poison, and stops it from doing as much harm as it normally would. If you must drink, PLEASE do it responsibly and intelligently. It's not worth making yourself sick just for a buzz. Seriously. If you have one or two drinks instead of enough to make you puke, you'll find you feel much better.
#3 - Food is fuel for your body like gasoline is fuel for a car. You need it, plain and simple. The best way to keep yourself healthy and to even help yourself become healthiER is to speed up your metabolism. You can do that by eating small, balanced meals every three or four hours. It forces your body to work faster to digest what you put into it, and therefore catches up with itself. It's tried and true. I lost - and kept off - 20 pounds by doing that. Also, working out for two hours isn't always the best idea, unless you're on a sports team. Your body stops responding healthily to a normal workout after about an hour, MAYBE an hour and a half, ESPECIALLY if you're not eating enough. If you're serious about physical improvement, you need to eat. Better to work out smarter, not harder. But, I digress. Skipping breakfast will, if anything, SLOW DOWN your metabolism. Breakfast gives it a jump-start. Eating something early on gets your metabolism moving, and you can keep it moving if you take care of yourself, eat well, and eat often.

In short, my advice to you is to take care of yourself. EAT before you drink. LISTEN to your body. TAKE CARE of your body. It's the only one you have.

Siren

First, I want you to know that I'm speculating, and not a doctor. I'm familiar with Tramadol and chronic pain. I'm just giving you the facts as I know them. I am, like everyone else here, not a doctor (yet). I suggest, if you have any concerns about your medication, that you contact your doctor and ask him/her about the mood swings. In the meantime, here are some of my thoughts:

Adviceman could be correct - it might not be the medication that's causing the mood swings, but the pain, or lack thereof. I have a pain problem, and I was given total relief from it for about five minutes at one point, and when the pain came back, I was totally miserable, and hated everything.

However, it makes sense that you'd feel great on Tramadol. It takes the edge off the pain by working on serotonin. As far as I know (and have researched), Tramadol is unlike other painkillers in the sense that instead of raising your pain threshold (so that you feel pain with less intensity), it makes you feel better. I think Tramadol is also MAJORLY off-label for depression because it makes you feel good.

You might consider talking to your doctor about feeling miserable when you're off the Tramadol. Chronic pain of any kind is difficult to deal with - you might consider counseling and possibly a psychiatrist to help cope with what you're feeling mentally as well as physically. Physical problems can take a major toll on the mind, and vise versa, as Adviceman said.

But I do have to enforce that psychiatric medication is NOT an answer. It can help you deal with the problems at hand, but you'll still need to seek counseling to find a way to cope.

I really think it's a combination of the Tramadol feel-good side effect and the pain wearing off that makes you feel so great. When the pain comes back, chances are you're gonna feel kinda crappy. If the mood changes are too much for you, you might talk to your doctor about a different pain medication.

Hope this helped you out a little - I can give you more info on the Tramadol if you like. Just let me know =)

Siren

A few things could be going on here, all of which you've actually touched on.
1 - He could be manipulating you. Keep in mind that he isn't "forcing" you to stay either way. If the manipulation tactics work, it's because part of you cares. Because you care, you react in empathy, cry with him, and decide you don't really want to leave him.
2 - You two fight, you try to end things prematurely. He begs, you realize that you really didn't want to leave him, and change your mind about the break up. That is, you don't really want to leave him.
3 - You really care about him. You don't want to hurt him. Therefore, you have trouble making the breakup stick because you want him to be happy on some level. No one really enjoys hurting people they care about. That can sometimes confuse us.

These are just ideas and speculations, of course. I've been in a similar boat, so all I can do is speak from experience. But here's the thing - if you're having doubts about being with him, if you're not sure, you need to take some you time to figure out what you want. Take a week away from him when you two aren't fighting, agree not to contact each other, and do some serious thinking. Make pro/con lists for staying with him and leaving him if you need to. Playing the yo-yo game and trying to break up with him when you fight isn't good for either of you. I know you're not intentionally hurting him, but I guarantee it hurts him more than a solid break-up.

No one likes to fight with their significant other. But, it's part of adult relationships. The question is whether or not you stay together even though you fight. THAT, not the fights, will make or break your relationship.

So, make some lists, do some serious thinking, figure out what YOU want. If there was no risk of hurting him either way, what would you do? Would you stay with him? Would you leave him? The answer is what needs to happen for now.

Siren

Those drug tests are really more a search for illegal substances like, marijuana, cocaine, etc...things that you couldn't possibly have a prescription for - unless you have a prescription for weed, in which case I'm sure there's paperwork to be filled out.
Vicodin is a narcotic, it will show up on a drug screen, but if you just had surgery, I doubt they'll question it. I wouldn't say anything on the application unless they ask, though. If they interview you and say "btw, go do a drug test right now," then you can say, "I recently had surgery and was prescribed Vicodin for the pain," or something, if you've taken it recently.
But, as someone said below me, I doubt it stays in your system very long. Often those places will spring a drug test on you months after you've been working there.
Just don't do anything illegal, take any pills that you don't have a prescription for, or take more pills than are necessary/prescribed to you, and you should be fine. I do suggest that you carry the bottle with you when you go for your interview just in case they have questions, but be sensible about it.
The general rule is, don't give them more info than they need. When they need it, you can tell them.

Siren

Be warned - Beetles are relatively unsafe, especially if you're a new driver and/or live somewhere with snow, or bad weather. They're easy to roll because of their round and slightly top-heavy build, and believe me, you do NOT want to be involved in a rollover accident. A wider, front-wheel drive car that's a little lower to the ground will give you more grip and more control for slippery weather. If your state/city tends to flood, however, you might WANT a taller type of car. Take your usual weather into account.

I agree with Abby about Hondas - they really do (seem to) last forever (I think they were actually named as one of the top 10 longest lasting cars).
As far as my experience goes, Hondas and Nissans from the 1990s are the longest-lasting, and safest. My parents both had Accords, both of the cars were in BAD accidents, and my parents were fine. I can honestly say Hondas are probably some of the safest cars on the market. They're just built REALLY well. They're like little tanks.
All together, if you're looking for a durable car that lasts a long time, that isn't easy to crash, take a look at Hondas and other cars from the 1990's.
Most cars from that decade allow the driver to really feel the road - that is, you'll quickly know when the road is slippery, etc. They'll give you a good, solid feel for driving, which is SO important for your first car. Cars from the 2000s, I think, are too cushy, and you can't really tell what's going on under your wheels. While I'm all for control, however, I also suggest you look for an automatic. That way you'll have less to think about, unless you've been doing a lot of practice driving on a manual shifter.

Now, I drive a car that I got from a volunteer car lot (more on that in a sec). I actually don't recommend my car, though, unless you're ready to spring for repairs. These have a tendency to devour transmissions, I'm told. I do, however, drive about 340 miles on one tank of gas, which is great (close to 30mpg). I love it because it handles rough driving and weaving, and...uh, all sorts of illegal things that you shouldn't do with your car. (Avoid bright colors, you might get pulled over more often)^^

Anyway, a used car is a fantastic idea. If you can find a friend (or a parent) who knows a lot about cars, you can even check out a volunteer lot (Google Volunteers of America). They sell donated cars that often need a couple of minor repairs, and they make great fixer-uppers (I got my car for $1500, including tax, title, and registration). Their goal is to provide people with cars who need them, and that includes teenagers. I don't suggest going to one of those places without a knowledgeable acquaintance, though.

When you get to the test-driving step, check for locking seat belts, and an Anti-lock Break System. Ask about the gas mileage in the city versus on the highway - you wanna aim for like, 25mpg+. I also suggest, after you've decided on a couple of cars to look into a little more, checking www.kbb.com (Kelly Blue Book). That way you can check the value of the car to make sure you're not getting ripped off. (Be wary of this, be suspicious, and be prepared to try to talk the price down.) Take a mental note of the mileage of the car you're looking at. Aim for below 100,000. Anywhere above hat, depending on the car, it's probably nearing the end of its vehicular life.

NEVER put the money down the day you see the car. Take some time, do your research, check out the Carfax report, if you can get it, etc.

I know this is kind of a lot to take note of, but keep it in mind.

Good luck on finding your new car! (and congrats for when you get it)

Siren

I have an Ibanez, but I've played Epiphones and Squiers. You're right, if you play more rock and metal, you wanna go for the Epiphone. It has a more solid, stronger type of sound. It really sings more than the Squier. Each to their own, of course, and if you haven't played both of these guitars, I suggest you head to Guitar Center and play around a little, but as far as these two are concerned, I'm way partial to the Epiphone. I don't like the way the Squiers sound at all.
Just throwing it out there, also - I got my Ibanez RG120 with an amp for $300 out the door from Guitar Center, and it sounds incredible playing metal and rock. I didn't like any of the boxed sets (so to speak) at guitar center, and the salesman gladly helped me make my own set with the guitar I wanted. So keep an open mind, they'll help you out.
Might be a little bit tougher with left-handed guitars, but you never know, there might be an option or two that you don't know about. When you go to GC, ask. They might be able to order something in for you if you find a different guitar you like.
Good luck, play well!

Siren

I've seen it as Nicolae. It depends, however, on what nationality we're talking about here. The spelling I gave you is Romanian.

Siren

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. =)

Siren

I'm pro-choice, and I definitely condone abortion. You need to hear the other side of this argument. The red flag here is that you're already saying that you made a mistake.

You're seventeen - you're a baby yourself, and your boyfriend - this "kid," as Jack said below me - is still thinking about partying. Do you really think he's ready to be a father? Do you really want to bring a child into an environment where it isn't wanted? Where it's considered a mistake?

Your boyfriend is acting more mature about this than you are. Rate me down if you like, but that's the case. Children cost fantastic sums of money. You haven't even finished high school yet, I don't think. How can you possibly think of affording a child right now? Your parents seem like the type of people to help you out and that's great, but do you realize how MUCH they'd have to? To be a good mother, you'll have to sacrifice school, all your money, most of your time, your sleep, your PARENTS' sleep...this is just not a good decision by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not sure you've really considered everything that goes into this.

I'm not telling you to kill your spawn if you're absolutely against abortion - I'm only saying that you might need to consider adoption as a possibility. It's the best compromise in this situation. Your boyfriend has made it more than clear that he is not ready for this. Because he isn't ready, you aren't ready as a couple. It may have his DNA, but it doesn't make him a father, and you really don't want to be a single mother. You don't want to force your parents to take care of something that should be YOUR responsibility.

If your boyfriend's parents would really disown him because of this, then you need to consider his situation. You're ready to be a parent when you're ready to put your child's needs and your partner/husband/boyfriend's needs above your needs. Until you can really consider other people and compromise, you aren't ready to be a parent.

The first thing you need to do was already suggested - you need to sit everyone down and have an adult discussion about this. This is an adult dilemma and should be treated as such. Ground rules need to be set, and everyone needs to have a turn to speak. Go around the circle, no one can interrupt one another or respond until everyone has had a chance to talk. Then ALL of you can figure out what the best decision would be.

It should be your decision ultimately, but you know what - you're a minor. You're still a kid. Your parents SHOULD still have a say in this. Because your boyfriend is also still a kid (unless he's not, but you didn't specify that), HIS parents should also still have a say in this. You need to let them talk, and you need to listen to both sides of the argument.

Please, for the sake of your relationship, the life growing inside you, and the other people involved because you're so young, be open minded. Consider ALL the possibilities before you rule ANY out. Consider ALL the people involved in this situation before you make any decisions. Please.

Siren

[Edit]: I'm sorry you don't want to hear the other side of the argument and resort to hostility when someone disagrees with you. I'm not the one who needs to grow up here. Consider the mental, physical, and emotional well-being of your baby in your decision.

The last 10 pounds is the worst. I feel your pain.

Quick note to you and to the previous columnist - cutting carbs out of your diet is NOT healthy. It's a quick fix, yes, and it makes you lose weight, but carbs are to your body what fuel is to a car. You need them, plain and simple. If you add carbs back in, you will gain the weight back. Better idea is to eat better carbs. Like, whole grain instead of white, etc. And then use them. Be active! It's almost summer! (in most places)

Anyway, on point - This could be for a number of reasons. You may be eating healthy foods, but are you eating enough of them? If your calorie count is too low, your metabolism may also have slowed. Are you eating often enough? Eating small meals every three hours really boosts your metabolism. Are you doing the right kind of work outs for your body at the gym? Focus on your abs and lower back, if you're worried about losing inches.
Meals every three hours is what really did it for me. I'm down to 120 at 5'4" (I was 140). I wanted to get down to 115, but then I discovered that all my heavy workouts gave me a pretty good amount of lean muscle mass.
Muscle weighs more than fat. You did say you didn't lose any inches, either, though. Around your waist? That could just be your trouble spot.

Consider adjusting your diet further. Or if you like, post another question about your diet and we can try to sift through it as well as we can.
Keep it up! You'll get where you want to be.

Siren

First, you're not being selfish. You're depressed, and afraid to be alone. It makes sense that it would be difficult for you to end your relationship when your boyfriend is your rock.

The question is whether or not the good outweighs the bad. No relationship is perfect, but relationships don't have to be painful, either.

Stalemates happen when couples stop listening to each other. You haven't mentioned anything in this post about his views on the matter, only that you two fight every time you talk on the phone. I can understand that you'd be afraid to deal with your problems on your own, and that you don't want to hurt him, but are either of you happy right now?

When one person isn't happy, a relationship doesn't work. In marriages, this problem usually results in couples' counseling. (In the future, please include your age for relationship questions. It changes things a little.)
If all you two do is fight, do you think he's happy? You two were such close friends - maybe he hasn't ended things with you because he doesn't want to leave you alone, but I think you two need to sit down and discuss this like the adults you seem to be (you type very well, I can only assume you're over fifteen). It's possible also that he's waiting for things to get better. Maybe he's convinced that you're both having trouble because you're depressed. Any psychological problem can take a major toll on a relationship.

I don't necessarily think it's obvious that split-up is in order, but maybe some form of counseling for the two of you is something to consider.

But first, you need to figure out what you want. If you could snap your fingers and have it work out exactly the way you wanted, what would happen? Would you be alone and happy? Would you be happy with him? I suggest you take the time that you aren't seeing each other to freewrite a little and see what conclusions you come to. The catch is you have to be completely honest with yourself. But the good thing is, the paper will never judge you. Don't worry about being selfish, about hurting anyone else, just worry about YOU.
But you also have to consider the fact that sometimes relationships just don't work, for any number of reasons. If it isn't meant to be, then it isn't meant to be. It's something you'll have to come to accept, and only you can help yourself do that.

But the reality is that depressed or not, you need to do what you need to do to help yourself. Staying in relationship hell when you're depressed certainly won't help you - or him, for that matter. Everyone is entitled to happiness. There's no reason to stay in a situation that forces you not to be. None.

So to answer your question "What should I do?" Before you do anything else, take some you time. Really consider all the possibilities. You said you were diagnosed with depression - you must have a psychiatrist or psychologist, SOMEONE you can talk to. Talk to him/her, if talking helps. If writing helps, do that. If drawing helps, do that. Do anything you need to figure out what it is that YOU want, boyfriend aside. Take a step back and figure out what steps you need to take to bring happiness back into your life.

You can always IM me if you want a nonjudgmental person to vent to, instead of a piece of paper (SirenCytherea on AIM). I'm on line all the time - just make sure you IM me more than once so I don't think you're spam.

If I don't hear from you, I wish you all the luck and love in the world.

Siren

I'd like to add my playlist(s) since it sounds like you're into the same kind of music:

(Artist - Song)
Disturbed - Prayer
Disturbed - Liberate (Both of these are from their Believe album)
Disturbed - Indestructible (also album title)
Disturbed - Inside the Fire
Disturbed - Deceiver
Disturbed - The Night
Disturbed - Perfect Insanity
Disturbed - Haunted
Disturbed - Enough
Disturbed - The Curse
Disturbed - Torn
Disturbed - Criminal
Disturbed - Facade (I love the guitar solo in this one)
Disturbed - Ten Thousand Fists (also album title)
Disturbed - Just Stop
Disturbed - Guarded
Disturbed - Stricken
Disturbed - Sons of Plunder
Disturbed - Land of Confusion

That's the playlist I run to (always on shuffle). Disturbed's songs are really driving. I love it. These are some of my other favorites:

Drowning Pool - Bodies (always a good one)
Drowning Pool - Tear Away
Evanescence - Going Under
Evanescence - Weight of the World
Godsmack - Whatever
Incubus - Stellar
Incubus - Pardon Me
Incubus - Wish You Were Here
Incubus - Have You Ever
Incubus - Anti-Gravity Love Song (one of my absolute favorites)
Aerosmith - Walk This Way
Aerosmith - Dude Looks Like a Lady (This is just funny)
Goo Goo Dolls - Broadway
Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon
Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water (can't go wrong here)
Metallica - Enter Sandman
Metallica - For Whom the Bell Tolls
Metallica - Wherever I May Roam
Metallica - The Call of Ktulu (this is all instrumental, and very cool)
Metallica...well, pretty much anything Metallica, but those are my favorites.
Nickelback - Flat on the Floor
Nickelback - Just a Couple Animals (not sure if this is the right title, but I like this one)
Nickelback - Something in Your Mouth (one of their newer ones)
Nickelback - Too Bad
Nickelback - Because of You
Nickelback - Figured You Out
Nickelback - Another Hole in the Head (this one's great if you're mad at your S.O.)
Nickelback - Never Again
The Offspring - Hammerhead
The Offspring - Feelings
The Offspring - Pretty Fly
Papa Roach - Getting Away With Murder
Papa Roach - Take Me
A Perfect Circle - Judith
Shpongle - Dorset Perception (I dunno if you're into techno/trance, but Shpongle is awesome)
Tool - Sober
Tool - The Pot
Tool - Stinkfist
Weezer - Buddy Holly
Weezer - The Sweater Song
Weezer - Troublemaker

And that's pretty much the joggable music in my Itunes. Hopefully I'll have given you some inspiration and/or some new stuff to listen to. Good luck!

Siren

I'm glad I helped a little, thank you for responding. Don't be scared. Hormones do all sorts of random crap to the body.

If he's been inside you without a condom, even if he hasn't ejaculated in you, there's a chance that pre-cum could've initiated a pregnancy, and because you're on the pill you miscarried. If you two ALWAYS use a condom - as in, he's never been in you without one - then I'm wrong about that.

Regardless, if you've been bleeding - like, flowing - for more than seven or eight days, you need to call your doctor. This isn't normal. If you've been spotting, that can sometimes happen, but not usually after nine months on the same medication. Something's changed, or something isn't working anymore. Bodies can sometimes build up resistances to medication - I've never heard of that happening with birth control, but I suppose there's a first time for everything.

Anyway, don't freak out, but make sure you use a condom anytime he's inside you right now, just in case the pill isn't working, or something. Better to be safe than sorry.
Definitely call your doctor ASAP though.

Remember, I'm just speculating here. Let me know what happens/what you and your doctor figure out if you like.

Siren

Okay..."Hitler" is wrong.
Birth control pills are useful because they not only help prevent against pregnancy and regulate hormones in the body, but they can help with PMS problems. The only negative effects they can have are clotting, perhaps some weight gain, or - in some cases - spotting.

If you're bleeding this much, you need to call your doctor. Usually oddities like this pop up within the first three months, and go away in that amount of time. Nine months is a long time to be on a pill and have trouble.
It's possible that your - actually, is it the pill? - whatever form of birth control you're taking is too low dose. I tried Yaz because our insurance covered it and I got my period every two weeks for two months. It was awful.

Are you sexually active? It's possible that you miscarried. Spotting can also sometimes be a sign of pregnancy.
In any case, you need to contact your doctor and ask him what's going on ASAP.

Siren

Actually, you sound pretty normal, unless you underplayed your crying. I'm 21 and a girl, too. PMDD usually involves debilitating physical, mental, or emotional symptoms.
If your moodiness hinders your ability to function, then you may need to look into some kind of medication. Depression from PMS is not abnormal. Your hormones are screwing with your body and mind. It happens to every girl.
If you start having severe pain in any form, or you start having serious depression symptoms, then you do need to find a way to see a doctor.
Aside from that, I think you're fine. (But remember, I'm not a doctor, nor am I in your mind. If YOU don't think you're fine, find someone who can give you medical advice.)
Birth control doesn't stop PMS, but yes, it can help it by helping you control hormones a little. If you think this is bad, then you may consider switching pills. They all work differently for different people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PMDD

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PMS

Check out those links. They might help you understand what you're going through.

Siren

To put this as simply as I can, people are selfish. They want what they want, and in the end, the "sisters before misters" clause holds no power. If a girl wants a guy, she's gonna go after him. The fact that she was supposed to be your best friend should've stopped her from doing something so destructive. The fact that it DIDN'T stop her should tell YOU something: she doesn't care enough about you to consider your feelings.
"I did it to make you want him more and take another step in the relationship" is a complete and total cop-out. Don't believe it for a second.

As for your boyfriend, the suffix "ex" should be in front of that. It's possible that he just isn't capable of settling down with a girlfriend just yet - I wish you had included your ages, but I can assume you're all decently young. Late middle school or early high school?

Anyway, age aside, you need to talk to him and help him understand what you're feeling, since you have every right to be confused and upset. He needs to get it through his head that he did something very wrong. Even if it was your friend who came onto him, he didn't stop her. That's still wrong. If you decide to let him go, you need to have a discussion with him and come to an agreement that says he'll stay away from you for awhile.

Are the friends who are friends with him initially your friends? If that's the case, then he can find another friend group to rip apart, and your friends should have no problem with losing him.

Your friend should lose some of your trust for awhile, and she shouldn't expect forgiveness. Forgiveness takes time and healing. That said, you shouldn't expect yourself to be able to forgive her right now. She did something pretty unspeakable. But, time heals all wounds.

Eventually, when this all blows over, you'll be able to move on. Good things will happen, you'll find a new guy who appreciates you and won't go off with your so-called best friend, and you'll be good with her again.

Try writing about it. Do some journaling - write out the situation, write out your feelings about it, and take a step back. Understand that your feelings are completely valid, and try to decide what to do about the source of the problem.

Be strong - be selfish. Do what's right for YOU. It's only right at this point. Do what makes you happy.

Cheer up. =)

Siren

The general rule is that anytime a guy ejaculates into your vagina, you can get pregnant. This is half of the reason to ALWAYS use condoms, and birth control if possible. The other half of the risk are STDs. Condoms can help prevent against those, too.

From what I've read, sperm can live up to 72 hours in a warm, moist place. So, if you have sex at the end of your period, you could still get pregnant. Yes, the previous columnists are correct. Your period is you shedding the lining of your uterus and egg(s) from this cycle along with it. But, your body cycles. That's what bodies do; there isn't much of a break in the human cycle. Eggs are always being created - this is why pregnancy is such a big risk and such a big scare for so many people.

So, in short, if your friend told you that a guy coming in you when you have your period gets you pregnant, she's only sort of wrong. Period + sperm isn't an equation for pregnancy, but it won't keep you safe, either. When you bleed, your egg is being shed along with your uterine lining. This means that at the moment, you don't have any/many eggs to fertilize. But there's always a chance something could go wrong and you'll wind up pregnant or with an STD.

So please, be aware, don't try to take shortcuts. Buy a pack of condoms and keep them handy (provided you're at least sixteen, since that's the legal age to mess around in most states). That way if things get hot and heavy, you can grab one in the heat of the moment and continue to be safe and unpregnant. =)

Cheers,

Siren

First, to give you a detailed response, I'll need the ages of both people involved (and yours, just for my own reference), and more specifics. What exactly is he saying to her to make her question herself? How does she respond to it?

I unfortunately consider myself a bit of a pro as far as mind games are concerned - That is to say, I understand people and I understand relationships. I'm going into relationship counseling as soon as I can afford another degree...

That being said, relationship games (particularly in young relationships) are push-pull games. A relationship can start out beautifully. Then, a guy pushes a girl away, and she tries to pull him closer because she's looking for validation. When the only response he gives her is negative, she starts to question herself, wonder if she's good enough. She figures she must not be attractive enough if he's being so negative, etc. Instead of becoming disinterested and running away, it becomes a cycle. If she starts to act disinterested, he'll come running and coddle her and love her and make her feel good, and then push her away again. She wonders why he's not being as loving as before - it must be her. Her self-esteem goes down. She seeks more validation. She begins to hate herself, etc.

It's a horrible cycle, but it can be broken.

This is why I need the specifics of what's going on between them - I could help you both understand when to push and when to pull, when to give him space, when to allow him to feel the chase, when to chase him, etc.

Is this a revenge tactic? Because if it is, she needs to be strong and break up with him to get out of the horrible cycle. If she knows he's wrong for her, why is she still with him? If he treats her well sometimes and she "loves" him, I can understand, and my advice will fit. If not, please send my inbox more specifics and I'll try to give you a better answer.

Good luck,

Siren

Okay, first of all, I did not answer your questions; this is not personal. I did, however, see them. You asked us what we would do; you asked us if it was right. You asked us for our OPINIONS.

I find myself unable to pass up this opportunity.

An opinion cannot be right or wrong, logically. By posting this "question" - which is not a question, by the way, and I believe this posting could actually be reported as abuse of the site, considering this is a place to post QUESTIONS, not statements that we are all wrong when you are the person who came to US to ask for advice - you welcomed our responses, whether they differed from your opinion or not. You wanted to know what we thought, we told you. A thought can't be wrong. Therefore, you can't possibly tell us we're wrong unless you have ABSOLUTE PROOF that it is incorrect that we would not participate in your actions.

Since you can't offer that proof, I could, in fact, say that YOU were wrong. But I'm not saying you're wrong about dating your cousin - though that does strike me as a bit off - just that you're wrong about us being wrong.

A thought is just that: A thought. Not an absolute. It is not a statement that "these are the facts." It is not "I'm right and you're wrong." It is someone's response to your question. Which, again, you posted, asking for our responses.

Kudos for finding someone who makes you happy. Everyone should. Yes, dating within the family, distant or not, is taboo. It is also more likely to result in diseases or defects because of genetics; that's true as well. Along with deciding for yourself what is right and wrong, if you ask for opinions or advice, you must accept what others say as THEIR OPINIONS. If you cannot respect what other people say in response to your questions, I suggest you refrain from asking them in the first place.

In life, people will disagree with you. People will agree with you. People will say you're an idiot for doing what you're doing. People will congratulate you. What you do depends on what YOU do, not what they say. If someone makes a good point, by all means listen. If no one does, then ignore them.

Next - if you're going to post a critique of our advice, you might consider typing in English. What you typed and the way you typed it is going to earn you far less respect than if you were to actually speak in a language. "4rm" is not a word in ANY dialect.

And no, I'm sorry, we don't want "advise" from you. No one will take you seriously if you type that way. Your message is good, I suppose - "do what you think is right" - but beyond that, we don't really care. If you want to critique peoples' advice on this site, I suggest you rate your advice-givers and give them feedback, instead of posting a note like this one.

Oh, and another thing - you can't possibly know what we've gone "thew" as far as thinking about dating goes. I suggest you take a logic course as soon as possible. It'll help you immensely. And FYI, I met the love of my life in college, not at a family reunion.

Regards,

Siren

P.S., Mods, how did this get posted?

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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