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boyfriend forcing me to stay?
16/f
i'm actually not sure if my boyfriend is forcing me to stay with him or anything, it's just that me and him has been together for about seven months. sometimes, when me and him get into a fight, i would try to break up with him.. but then he would just cry and beg me to stay. but sometimes, i feel like i want to leave and be single but hearing him cry always gets to me. i always start crying because he cries, my heart feels heavy. i wasn't sure if that him crying would hold me back from what i wanted to do... or i just notice that i really do like him? i'm not sure... help me please?
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okay on this note you make the decision.All I can say is follow your heart.If he doesnt cheat on you or treat you like your nothing then he is just being a guy and always thinks he's right.But if he does that to you then i would suggest to leave.But from what i just read i seen that he is not like that.In a relationship u are gonna have fights.But trust me you will later learn the answer.Follow your heart and be true to yourself and your feelings.I hope this helps.
SIS15
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i think its unreasonable for him to cry whenever you try and breakup with him. but before you breakup with him you should really think about how you feel for this person. if he is truly the one for you than of course stay with him. but if not...don't wast your time. follow through with your decision and don't let him change your mind.
good luck :}
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Hearing somebody cry DOES tend to make people feel bad (that's an obvious fact of life), but you just really need to think about your situation. Do you want to be with your boyfriend? Do you still feel the way you did when you first got together with him? Would you rather be single and be able to talk to whatever guy you want? Ask yourself these questions, and then follow your heart.
Another piece of advice:
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend, don't force yourself to stay with him. You're only lying to yourself AND to him. It's horrible for both of you, and it will only get harder to let go as time goes on.
-Laura (17-f)
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instead of breakin up with him, take a break from him...this will help you to realize if you really want to be with him or not..Maybe you would start missing him and want him even more..take a break its healthy & good to think about what you really want..you have to tell him that he needs to understand what a break mean and give you your space.it doesnt mean a complete break up, it simply means a couple of days without being with each other and talking, to clear your head.take life easy, dont stress.
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A few things could be going on here, all of which you've actually touched on.
1 - He could be manipulating you. Keep in mind that he isn't "forcing" you to stay either way. If the manipulation tactics work, it's because part of you cares. Because you care, you react in empathy, cry with him, and decide you don't really want to leave him.
2 - You two fight, you try to end things prematurely. He begs, you realize that you really didn't want to leave him, and change your mind about the break up. That is, you don't really want to leave him.
3 - You really care about him. You don't want to hurt him. Therefore, you have trouble making the breakup stick because you want him to be happy on some level. No one really enjoys hurting people they care about. That can sometimes confuse us.
These are just ideas and speculations, of course. I've been in a similar boat, so all I can do is speak from experience. But here's the thing - if you're having doubts about being with him, if you're not sure, you need to take some you time to figure out what you want. Take a week away from him when you two aren't fighting, agree not to contact each other, and do some serious thinking. Make pro/con lists for staying with him and leaving him if you need to. Playing the yo-yo game and trying to break up with him when you fight isn't good for either of you. I know you're not intentionally hurting him, but I guarantee it hurts him more than a solid break-up.
No one likes to fight with their significant other. But, it's part of adult relationships. The question is whether or not you stay together even though you fight. THAT, not the fights, will make or break your relationship.
So, make some lists, do some serious thinking, figure out what YOU want. If there was no risk of hurting him either way, what would you do? Would you stay with him? Would you leave him? The answer is what needs to happen for now.
Siren
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