|
everyone who answered my question is wrong!
i have bn dating my cousin for 1 year and a month and i luv him i guess i should have not asked for advise but we love each other we are already planing our feauture and im actually really excited
i am the happiest girl ever even though i am dating my own cousin
i know 4 a fact that 4 nothing in this world would he give me up or 4 any1 thats the main reason y I love him
neways we are happy and we are old enough too no what we r doing im 17 and he is 19
i no that ya have gone thew thinking about dating like me but you dont have the nerves to admit it but it ok
so if you want advise 4rm me do what you think is right even though pe0ple w0nt except you 4 who you are!
love ya
;!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Okay, first of all, I did not answer your questions; this is not personal. I did, however, see them. You asked us what we would do; you asked us if it was right. You asked us for our OPINIONS.
I find myself unable to pass up this opportunity.
An opinion cannot be right or wrong, logically. By posting this "question" - which is not a question, by the way, and I believe this posting could actually be reported as abuse of the site, considering this is a place to post QUESTIONS, not statements that we are all wrong when you are the person who came to US to ask for advice - you welcomed our responses, whether they differed from your opinion or not. You wanted to know what we thought, we told you. A thought can't be wrong. Therefore, you can't possibly tell us we're wrong unless you have ABSOLUTE PROOF that it is incorrect that we would not participate in your actions.
Since you can't offer that proof, I could, in fact, say that YOU were wrong. But I'm not saying you're wrong about dating your cousin - though that does strike me as a bit off - just that you're wrong about us being wrong.
A thought is just that: A thought. Not an absolute. It is not a statement that "these are the facts." It is not "I'm right and you're wrong." It is someone's response to your question. Which, again, you posted, asking for our responses.
Kudos for finding someone who makes you happy. Everyone should. Yes, dating within the family, distant or not, is taboo. It is also more likely to result in diseases or defects because of genetics; that's true as well. Along with deciding for yourself what is right and wrong, if you ask for opinions or advice, you must accept what others say as THEIR OPINIONS. If you cannot respect what other people say in response to your questions, I suggest you refrain from asking them in the first place.
In life, people will disagree with you. People will agree with you. People will say you're an idiot for doing what you're doing. People will congratulate you. What you do depends on what YOU do, not what they say. If someone makes a good point, by all means listen. If no one does, then ignore them.
Next - if you're going to post a critique of our advice, you might consider typing in English. What you typed and the way you typed it is going to earn you far less respect than if you were to actually speak in a language. "4rm" is not a word in ANY dialect.
And no, I'm sorry, we don't want "advise" from you. No one will take you seriously if you type that way. Your message is good, I suppose - "do what you think is right" - but beyond that, we don't really care. If you want to critique peoples' advice on this site, I suggest you rate your advice-givers and give them feedback, instead of posting a note like this one.
Oh, and another thing - you can't possibly know what we've gone "thew" as far as thinking about dating goes. I suggest you take a logic course as soon as possible. It'll help you immensely. And FYI, I met the love of my life in college, not at a family reunion.
Regards,
Siren
P.S., Mods, how did this get posted?
]
It's wrong to generalize everyone together by saying that we've all thought about dating our cousins. Honest to God, I have never even considered dating my cousins. Not even for a second. But since you've got your heart set on it, I guess there's not much that anyone can say to change your mind. I hope you're not like first or second cousins or anything, though. Hopefully you're pretty distant cousins, otherwise, like the other advisors have said, your children will have a high risk of birth defects.
]
First, you should use correct English, so people can actually read your 'question'. Wait.. what is your question? I personally would NEVER date my cousin.. thats gross. Also, like the first person said, your kids are likely to get diseases. But good luck.
-E
]
I would never think about dating my cousins; only because I personally think it's disgusting.
Nothing against you, but I'll pass on dating within the family.
Good luck to you though.
]
Would I do this? No - but partly because my cousins are completely douches haha. But I definitely admire your bravery and I don't see that its completely wrong.
Its not like you are brother and sister, your parents just happen to be siblings. Although its not socially acceptable, I don't think its wrong.
There's no reason to tell people, but if they ask, just be upfront about it. If you're smiling and confident in saying it, people (at least, un-conservative people) will probably not think too much of it.
Just be conscious that if/when you break up (because you are still young, and it is very doubtful that you marry anyone you meet when you're still a teen) you may be put in an awkward position at family get-togethers, espcially if you do more than kiss.
My aunt married her second or third cousin- though they met before they knew they were related. Its not really a big deal.
Hope I helped hon :)
]
I didn't see your first question or the answers, but the primary reason against marrying a close relative is the gene pool. If you both have a recessive gene, the odds are increased that your children will have a disease, or even a deformity. Families that used to inbreed (there were a lot of them back in the day) used to pass down problems to their offspring. Since they kept having relationships within the family throughout generations, these problems were passed along throughout the generations. Look at the story of the Fugates aka the Blue Fugates.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
That said, I'm sure you and your family aren't going to be inbreeding generation after generation, but it's still worth considering the risks to your children, which is why the practice has been done away with in this country.
]
More Questions: |