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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
hey everyone! does anyone noe a good way to stop split ends? i have a ceramic and it`s killer to my hair! i rate high! please help
[ &hearts:muah♥ ]
Clip your ends, not a lot of hair, just the ends. And provide your hair with the proper nutrients they need.
Ok so i am a 17 female and ive been with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 months...i had heard some stuff that made me upset...so i asked him about it..he told me that he would never hurt me and the reason for that is that he loved me--the problem is he wrote it through a text message...he says he wants to say it 2 my face but its hard because of what had happend in the past...all he is waiting for is for us to be alone and the right moment...so when do u think that will be? i want to say it back but i dont know when the right moment is either help
You have to make sure that you're understanding his interpretation of the moment and your interpretation and definition for " the" moment. By this, I mean that his interpretation of the right moment may be for him to have sex with you and your interpretation of it being the right moment may be talking about the issue love and being for sure that he loves you or not. Take the time to define your perfect moment, and take the time to be prepared and ready for his definition, which may lead to his actions, to the perfect moment. Keep in mind his past. I know that people can change, but it wouldn't be sensible to ignore it all. Keep it in your mind but do believe in him. Just be ready, and be prepared for whatever he says. Even if he says that he loves you, you have to be prepared. Ready yourself and evaluate your perspectives on your perfect moment.
Male 13
This is kind of long so if you dont have time to read it it is okay
For the past 6 months i have been asking questions about my best friend and how i like her and what not.
Now a little backround info i have known HER for five years we are best friends. Now for the first three years i knew her i just couldnt be around her enough i had a major crush. Then i finally started letting go or hideing my feelings from myself. What ever it was it worked i really thought i was over her. But then about 6 months to a year ago i started liking her again.
i think this happend because she almost got a boy friend. so i have gotten through all the Drama over her so far her almost having a boy friend, her moving her being pushy ext...
But the thing with her her has always been she would say she didnt need a boyfriend and she would talk to me about all of this.
All of asudden she wants a boyfriend (which of course made me upset) But on top of that instead of talking to me about it she talks to this other girl she barley knows. i mean i could understand if she wanted to talk to a girl not a guy but shes never had trouble talking to me before.
the question is what should i do ( i know thats a pretty general question but i am having trouble finding the right words for my question)
I mean she tells me i can talk to her about anything but i have trouble talking to her about her.
SO bassically i just need advice for the whole situation
If you've been asking questions about this girl for the past 6 months, then I think that you should at least gather all your courage and do what I'm sure other advice columnists have told you to do. That is to of course, ask this girl out. Some girls at points and times in their lives feel independent and don't want and need a guy, or a boyfriend around, so that's probably why she didn't want one around in the past. But that all is going to change now because she wants a boyfriend because she needs that special affection . Lets just leave it at a need of her's that needs to be met. And she's talking to the girl because she is a girl and you're not a girl and she probably feel that it's easier for her to relate to herself. When it's like this , it's easier to talk to people. Even people that you hardly know, so just try and get her. Also, ask her out. You'll save yourself a lot of time and just get it over. No need wasting time over it if you're not going to go for it. And you've wasted 5 years dude. So go for it. If she's that important to you, fear should be thrown aside. There's a risk and there's the truth. Are you afraid? If you want to wait another year, or 5 years, then don't ask. But if you don't, you know what to do. Don't waste your time if you're not going to go through it. And don't have any regrets. And don't think about what could've and should've been. If you just ask her, you'll know the answer to these things. Don't wait till it's too late. Ask her.
i am about 5'5 5'6 probually closer to 5'6 now. and i weigh 118 pounds. do am i fine. cuz when i look in the mirror i see BBIIIIGGG.
Honey, you are so much better than fine. I wish I was that. I am fit and curved and at the right weight but I think we all would love to be 118 pounds and 5"6" . You may think you look big but you aren't because your height really goes with your weight. And let me tell you, we all would love to be that that skinny. Don't worry, you're fine. Others would kill to be your weight
My parents are getting divorced because my mum is unhappy.
Anyway I found out that she was cheating on my dad.
I followed her one day down the end of my road where she got into a car with a guy, Mark. I know it was him because I heard her talking about him to her friends and I know its her old boyfirend.
She didnt come home that night.
I feel weird towards her.
I don't know what to do. My dad doesnt know. Should I tell him. I don't want to hurt either of my parents.
Will this affect the divorce porceedings?
Thanks for all help.
Honey, I think you should confront your mother with this problem. I know that this is so awkward and that it's so weird to talk to her now after knowing this major detail about her life. But like I said, it is her life. What happens between your mother and father does affect you, but you have to respect it b/c it's their lives and their choices. But just because you respect it doesn't mean that you have to like it. Talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. Tell her what you know. And if your father's trying really hard to get over your mother, then I think you should at least give your mother a chance to tell your father whats been happening in her life. Try and persuade her to tell him and if she doesn't, then it's up to you to do what you think is best.
okay well i have a bf and hes gone for about 2 weeks so i wont be able to see him and i barley get to talk to him. but the thing is wen hes not gone we dont talk (well barley anyway)) and the thing is im started to like this other guy. and i dont want to but then again i do becuz hes not shy unlike my bf and idk what to do im so confused right now. please help me.
First, you have to evaluate what YOU WANT FOR A RELATIONSHIP. You have to evaluate what you want for and in a relationship. This will help you a lot. Then you have to see if your current boyfriend meets the criteria of your values for a relationship. If you feel like, at the time, that it isn't right to look at your values, then don't at that time. Try looking at your values when you're the most relaxed. Perhaps, you should try and talk to your boyfriend about talking more perhaps. Or maybe you should find out more about his interests that he's into and really just get into them. Don't force him or anything to talk to you, but let him know that you do wish for more talking in your relationship. Also, if he doesn't necessarily meet all the criteria of your values, then don't be so quick to go and dump him. Get to know the other guy and that'll take time before you dump your current boyfriend over him. Getting to know him will not hurt anyone . It'll just ensure if you'll continue to like this guy or not. Get to know him and see with time if your boyfriend will change . If he doesn't change, and the other guy meets the criteria of your values for a relationship, then dump the current boyfriend and go for it.
i really like a guy friend of mine. he told me he doesnt feel the same. about a month and a half later we hooked up (just made out) and we both really liked it. we have a really strong friendship bond and we talk (kinda) dirty to each other. my question : do you think this can blossom into something more? like, can someone who doesnt like someone start to like them after time goes by and the two people get really close? any personal experiences is also appreciated if you can
easy 5 for your opinion and advice
My opinion is that this can happen but it depends on how much time has passed between the time that he told you that he didn't feel that way towards you. People can change, therefore their feelings can change. I think that this may blossom into something but you have to make sure that this is absolutely blossoming into something by asking him again later on . Again, time, yes, I know. But you don't only want to be his friend with those benefits, you know what I mean. Just make sure after some time has passed,that you absolutely know how he feels about you and to know this, you have to ask. And it usually takes quite some time so don't rush it and don't force it. Make sure that you're yourself and real.
When someone says you are a push over...what do they mean?
That you don't stand up for yourself or whatever you believe in and that they can run all over you.
Whats the difference between 'making love' and having sex?? thanks..
When you're making love, you're having sex but you're really and truly and deeply in love with the person you're having sex. And having sex, is having sex with someone you like or lust for. Or just to be having sex. Or someone that you think you have a lot of feelings for. Most people don't realize that they're just "having sex" because they only realize that they were "just having sex" when they find the true person that they're in love with. If you want to get technical, both are really having sex. But making love is truly and deeply and unconditionally loving the person you are having sex with and that is a precious and coveted virtue.
im 13 and a girl and this year i actually feel ready for sex. is that normal at this age? is there something wrong with me? i know a guy that is willing to have sex with me, should i have sex? if i do should i tell my parents?
**sexy_gal_1992**
I think that you are too young and I know that you are thinking that that is a stupid thought but that's what I think. I would hope that you'd wait because I want your very first time, like I want every girls first time, to be amazing. But you may be ready physically, but are you ready mentally. Are you absolutely sure that you can handle sex and the whole package. Including who you're having sex with. Don't have sex with a guy just because he's willing to have sex with you. You really want someone that TRULY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU. If he doesn't really care for you, and he just wants to have sex for the hell of it, then don't waste your virginity on him. Trust me, virginity is a precious virtue and once you lose it you can't get back. I think, that at this age, it's normal to be ready for sex. And you might hate this, but we(you and I ) aren't mature enough for sex. But the real test to see if you're ready for sex is to get properly informed about sex. You know, about the diseases. Even if you already know about them, get informed. Then you have to take action about your affairs when it comes to having safe sex. Do not have sex without protection. But the best thing is that when you're not having sex, you don't have to worry about protection or pregnancy. You probably feel ready for sex because it's popular and because you feel physically ready, and physically you are ready. But are you really and EXTREMELY READY MENTALLY FOR SEX. Also, if you are ready, then I think it's up to you to tell your parents or not. I mean, why not tell them. Unless you're ashamed and being ashamed or being anything beside afraid clearly states that you aren't as ready as you think you are. Naturally you're going to be afraid, and it's going to be awkward, but if you can't tell them then you really shouldn't be doing it at all. It's all about your perspective and how you feel. In the end really, it's all about where your heart is. It's all about what you feel about sex. It's all about what you think you should do. Don't have sex just to have sex. Make sure it's very special to you. Also, I think that I should tell you, that guys absolutely love virgins to death, and believe it or not, that's what they really look for in a girl. Some to take the girls virginity but not all of them. Just think about it and follow your heart.
what should i do if everytime me and my dude argue he really says some foul things and it hurts me?
When you argue, you find out what he really thinks about you. And you find out how much he really values you when he says foul things to you. It depends on how often he says things to you. What you have to look at is your values. Do you value a man that has a foul temper with a foul attitude and words to match? Is he the man that has the values that you wanted in the "right man for you." If he isn't, then he is not the one for you and you should definitely consider ending it if he isn't the one with you. That is if he doesn't match your values. But you have to look at other things with your values as well. You have to think about how you want to be treated. And that's mental and emotional abuse. Are you tolerant of it? Let me tell you, no man is worth that. If they , even for once, think that they can get away with foul mouthing you, then they'll think that they can get away with something of far more importance. Something like physical violence. You may say that, he wouldn't hit me. But truth is, from my point of view, that these are the signs. Recognize them, resist them, and then decide what you'll do from there on. Don't forget, to evaluate your values and what you TRULY want for THE MAN THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. Don't waste your time on him, if he doesn't fit the criteria. If he doesn't fit the criteria, then you're only prolonging the time that you have to meet the right man for you. Thanx for asking me the question and sorry if it was long. Have a nice day.
In health we are doing a project about heathly food and I can't seem to think of a good slogan. Can anyone help me?
thanks in advance.
"Which one's for life and which one's for Death?"
This means which food is for life, better for your life, and which one's for death, bad which lessens you life. I know that it's not real good or anything like that but that's all I could think of off the top of my head.
theres a guy that I really like. We havent slept together yet but I was hoping that one day we could be more than friends. Anyways I just found out from one of his friends that he spent a year in jail when he was 18, but wouldnt tell me what for. Anyways, that was a long time ago, he is in his 40's now.
He is a really nice guy and I know he would never hurt me. But I'm really curious as to why he was in jail.
Should I ask him or wait for him to tell me?
Ask him. Get it out. Don't force him to say anything about it and accept it if he doesn't wish to discuss it and then wait till he's ready. But ask him. Let him know that you want to know. How else is he supposed to know that you want to know why he went to jail when he was eighteen? Also, you should tell him that you know that people can change and I do hope that you know that he's probably changed since the age of 18 to 40. Let him know that you know this because it will make it easier for him and it'll make it easier for you. Don't force him , just casually mention it. Don't force it. And show him that you have support for him still, and the most important of all, that your feelings for him will remain the same.
19/f
I met someone who was only in my hometown for a week, and we kissed, talked, and really connected. I seriously fell for him.
Of course, some people will think we were only together as rebounds, because he lost a friend and I was getting out of a serious relationship with someone. Regardless, he made me feel happy and alive.
I gave him my email address and phone number, he gave me his favorite hat. It's been over a week, and I have not heard from him. Should I just forget him, or make an effort to contact him?
I've been searching for a phone number/email but my search so far has come up fruitless. I don't know what to do. He's in the military and I would just love to talk to him before he has to go to Iraq again. However, I don't want to completely freak him out and seem "stalkerish." So even if I found a number, I don't know if I'd have the guts to call it.
It worries me that he hasn't tried contacting me yet. Maybe he thinks that since I was going through a lot that he should just back off. Maybe he felt nothing for me and really is a jerk. I don't know. Should I be patient, or make a move?
I am trying to forget about him and trying not to make the relationship anymore than what it was. It's hard because I keep thinking about him. I just need to tell him thanks (the reason is very personal and complicated so I don't want to go into detail.) Maybe if I could just tell him that, then I could move on. But for now, I feel like I have something I seriously need to get off my chest and it's driving me insane not being about to explain things!!
What you really have to ask yourself is , do you think that he is worth contacting and do you think that you'll have any regrets if you don't contact him. I think you should. Don't be afraid to take a risk. And if he thinks that you're the "stalkerish" type, then obviously you could try to make him understand in a clear way(and in a way that won't freak him out) that you're not. And if he continues to think it, then it's just not meant to be. Then you move on and find someone else. If you can't forget about him, then he definitely means something to you. And it's up to you to find out what that something means . Contact the man. Throw away fear. After all, is he worth it. He'll stay on your mind. And if you're not going to contact him, you might as well move on and forget him . And if you say to yourself I could've, I should've. That won't matter because you didn't . I think you should go for it because you will feel a lot better about things.
Wat do I do if my boyfriend wants to have sex and I do too but i am too shy
signed i need help
What you have to do is find out why you're shy. It's a normal and natural thing to get shy about sex because I do whenever my friends talk about sex around me. But if you really want to be with him in that sort of way, you'd forget shame and you'd definitely go for it. That is, I assume as you mentioned above, that you do want to have sex with your boyfriend. It's natural and you should understand and accept that it's natural . You'll get over it, but I really do advise you to find out why you're maybe mildly, or extremely, shy around him. If you're extremely shy, then perhaps you're not ready for that particular day, moment, or time. I don't know but it's all up to you to find out. Just understand that it's normal and that it's natural.
what are some halloween costumes i can wear this year?? that are def. hott but not too sluty
thanks
You could wear a cat woman suit, french maid, red devil(female with horns you know). A succubus , a prostitute . Or the witch that's in my class, just joking. Or the scream outfit. I know that these aren't too good but their um the best that I could do.
i met a cute guy this weekend, at a rebel paintball cuarse - he works there - my house is jus a few blocks away from it - we started chattin right away - well - long story short - i was playin with his phone, and he told me 2 put my number on - i asked him why, and he told me its so he can call me when hes there again - i dont know if he likes me - but it sure looks that way - i jus wanna know - does he like me - or doesnt he - cause i sure-as-hell like him.
Well, it's a good start . I think that you made a very good first impression on him and I think that he likes that about you. Actually, I guess he does like you if he told you that he would call you. And that's a very good thing you know. But don't get too excited because it's way too early to tell if this thing will last because you too hardly know each other. But this does definitely seem like one of those good ventures that could be bliss. Yes, right now, I think that he likes you because you made a very good impression. But you should be aware, that as he gets to know you better, that -that could easily change.
wondered if there are any advice on this topic. i don't mind players, as long as they don't play me... are there any signs to tell if a woman is looking for more than just (pretty shallow) fun?
Can't look you in your eye, too many excuses, strange actions, not doing what they did in the beginning(although some guys just like to make you guess.)Those are some signs.
Ok before this question i've asked another on similar but this question is like the sequeal to it. So the qustion before this was I still like my exboyfriend who now lives in L.A. and i'm practicly inlove with him but i'm only 13 so I finally took the peoples advice who answered this and got his number from his friend that I know. So know I really want to call him but i'm nervouse because after I broke up with him for a really stupid reason we havn't talked for like a year but I know he still remembers me because his friend told me that he would always talk good about me. So what i'm asking is should I call him and say that his friend wanted me to call you and tell you that he can't call you because he got grounded would that be good so then we can just lead on from there or what because I refuse and really don't want to say that I just called him just because I want a good exuse( i'm a shy person somtimes) Thanx will rate for helpfull answers( will rate high!)
Don't worry too much about reasons for calling him because when it comes down to it all, you'll find that reasons really don't matter much at all. The only thing that really matters is that you called and that's really a reason itself. If you want to give a reason, make it a casual reason. Like, " I just wanted to call and see what was up with you." Or," it was just a long time and no see." Just keep it casual and keep it cool. You're focusing way too much upon the reason when you're not focusing upon the actual conversation and that is a heck of a lot more important than a reason for calling him.
My sister-in-law *Chelsey* is just turned 18, her husband is 24. She has a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Her husband beats her, and everytime someone helps her she lies and says "I fell down the stairs." He's been in jail, has no license and is on probation for known violence. We want to help her when she asks, but how do we help? Can we help? We're at the end of our rope, and are about ready to call SRS, those children don't need this life. She doesn't need him, but those kids need HER! Please help? I don't want to take those kids away...
First of all , you will never be able to help your friend if she doesn't come out of denial and start acknowledging that she and the children are being physically and emotionally abused. If she doesn't acknowledge this, then there is absolutely not much help for the children and herself that she can't provide. She really needs to press charges because when she presses charges, then they'll lock him up and they'll have it on record of the violence and the abuse. I recommend that she gets a restraining order too. Now, I don't know what she's going to do if he violates it(you know she just can't throw it in his face) but I do recommend that she get it. She probably will need it for her and the children even if she doesn't press charges against him. Also, you need to persuade her what's best for those kids and just because he's her husband and the father of those kids, doesn't mean that it's the best for them. Just tell her to do what she think is best but you really do have to make her see that those kids may get hurt physically, mentally, or emotionally. So just make her see then make the woman take action. Legal action.