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found out guy I like spent time in jail....
theres a guy that I really like. We havent slept together yet but I was hoping that one day we could be more than friends. Anyways I just found out from one of his friends that he spent a year in jail when he was 18, but wouldnt tell me what for. Anyways, that was a long time ago, he is in his 40's now.
He is a really nice guy and I know he would never hurt me. But I'm really curious as to why he was in jail.
Should I ask him or wait for him to tell me?
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people do change.. and he's probably not who he was when he did whatever.
if he's 40. how old are you?
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I think it is something you definitely need to know.
It depends on how long youve known him. If he doesn't say something soon then by all means ask.
I have to wonder why the friend wouldn't tell you anything. I think its okay to say your friend told me you had been to jail...may i ask why?
If he tells you and its no big deal then okay. If it was for something major then you have some deciding to do. :)
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You should wait. I wouldn't want anyone knowing my secret. Get to know him more and wait for him to open up to you more. Don't pester him about it.
!~*becca*~!
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Sometimes when you get locked up it takes awhile to get over it.I've been down that road.You should wait for him to tell you.If he doesn't then he just might not want to hurt you so you should accept it.If you trust him then don't worry about it.
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Hi there,
It depends how much it it bugging you not knowing.
If it was only a year he was in jail for then chances are it is nothing serious.
If I were you I'd be inclined not to believe it unless the details came straight from the horses mouth.
I've been in situations before where I have listened to details given to me by outside influences and lost someone really special because of it.
If he thinks it is something serious then I'm sure he will tell you in his own time, I wouldn't push it though as it is obviously not something he is proud of and if he's not been back to jail then chances are he has changed his ways!
Tc
Mel xx
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I don;t know if your relationship is solid and secure enough for you to ask such a personal question, especially if it happend so long ago. With things like that, men tell you when they feel youa re ready, the relationship is ready and they can actually talk about the situation themselves. Sometimes hardship stories like that are still ahrd to bring up and talk about for when they tell you the details, they relive it in their minds and i t brings pain and feelings that they wanted to forget about. If he doesn't tell y ou, don;t worry about it too much, he may just want to always be "worthy of you" in your eyes. But if you are that curious, the time to ask him is not now for it may jeopardize any romantic relationship you may have in the future as well as when he asks you about how you found out and you have to either lie or tell himthat his freinds told you...that may bring trouble between him and his friends and he may begin to question why they would tell you his personal business without his permission..this in turn brings the trouble back to you for now not only are his freinds mad at you for telling himthat they told you but he is not feeling to happy with you either for asking such personal questions. Wait alittle while longer. If youare meant to know, you will find out. If it goes on for a long time (years or so) and you both are actually in a long term relationship and you still don't know, there are ways to ask around the situation to see if he tells you. Then if he still doesn't, then it will be okay to ask for you would have built up a type of repore with one another that is built through relationship and what you have to endure within them.
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i think you shouldn't because it can't be that serious for one year just for get about it and if it bothers you that much bring up an idea of like "lets say i get arrested, how would you feel" thats all you basically have you say and maybe he'll come out and tell you
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i think it is important that you ask him for your own good, somtimes people turn out different then they seem. also if you want a relationship both of you should be open and have no secrets.
hope i could help
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Ask him. Get it out. Don't force him to say anything about it and accept it if he doesn't wish to discuss it and then wait till he's ready. But ask him. Let him know that you want to know. How else is he supposed to know that you want to know why he went to jail when he was eighteen? Also, you should tell him that you know that people can change and I do hope that you know that he's probably changed since the age of 18 to 40. Let him know that you know this because it will make it easier for him and it'll make it easier for you. Don't force him , just casually mention it. Don't force it. And show him that you have support for him still, and the most important of all, that your feelings for him will remain the same.
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If you want to know, ask him. If it doesn't really bother you, then let him tell you in his own time. (=
♥ Melissa
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