I met someone who was only in my hometown for a week, and we kissed, talked, and really connected. I seriously fell for him.
Of course, some people will think we were only together as rebounds, because he lost a friend and I was getting out of a serious relationship with someone. Regardless, he made me feel happy and alive.
I gave him my email address and phone number, he gave me his favorite hat. It's been over a week, and I have not heard from him. Should I just forget him, or make an effort to contact him?
I've been searching for a phone number/email but my search so far has come up fruitless. I don't know what to do. He's in the military and I would just love to talk to him before he has to go to Iraq again. However, I don't want to completely freak him out and seem "stalkerish." So even if I found a number, I don't know if I'd have the guts to call it.
It worries me that he hasn't tried contacting me yet. Maybe he thinks that since I was going through a lot that he should just back off. Maybe he felt nothing for me and really is a jerk. I don't know. Should I be patient, or make a move?
I am trying to forget about him and trying not to make the relationship anymore than what it was. It's hard because I keep thinking about him. I just need to tell him thanks (the reason is very personal and complicated so I don't want to go into detail.) Maybe if I could just tell him that, then I could move on. But for now, I feel like I have something I seriously need to get off my chest and it's driving me insane not being about to explain things!!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? candi33 answered Friday November 4 2005, 2:28 pm: I have kinda the same situation, but it's an internet thing....I really wanna meet this guy, because he seems so nice. He's called a couple times, and he's even sent me a couple packages. When he calls, we usually talk for an hour, and it goes by sooo fast, but then he gets disconnected. He was home on leave once and we kept making plans to get together, but I had just left for college (I'm a freshman now) and he had agreed to drive the hour to come visit me, but then just didn't show up. I'm not sure what happened, he said he had problems and missed his flight and got in big trouble at the base when he finally arrived, so I don't wanna like bitch him out for it, but at the same time, I feel like he was just playing around. Since then, I still talk to him, and he's still really flirty and talks about "next time he comes home" meeting up, but I'm not sure if I would seem desperate to go out with him after he basically blew me off the first time. What do you think? [ candi33's advice column | Ask candi33 A Question ]
karenR answered Thursday November 3 2005, 9:50 pm: You can continue looking for him if you want to.
He does have your info though and unless he lost it he could contact you if he wanted to.
Either he didn't take the relationship seriously, or he is just to busy preparing for deployment. Hopefully he will contact you soon. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
urmomsachltcvrddnt answered Thursday November 3 2005, 8:57 pm: Know this: long distance relationships suck, so don't even bother trying it. You should keep in contact with him, though.
He probably wouldn't think it's "stalkerish" if you called him, but if he put no effort into contacting you, then don't waste your time with him. I think you should forget about him, because you're probably not going to see him again (not anytime soon at least).
mwahhhx33 answered Thursday November 3 2005, 5:42 pm: guys just dont call the girls. its not just him, but almosy all guys! call him first. maybe he just want you to call him first. he might want to see if youre acually into him! so call him. talk. and he'll probably start calling you! hope i helped! [ mwahhhx33's advice column | Ask mwahhhx33 A Question ]
TrueAdviceDiva answered Thursday November 3 2005, 10:51 am: It would not seem "stalker-ish" if you called to say hello at least once. That way if he had any aprhension or thoughts that maybe you were not interested, your call can put those ideas to rest. Men like to be "wooed" alittle too. But after your initial call and he still doesn't reach out to you, then you should leave the ball in his court. A relationship, even a friendship is a two way street and after you "cross the street" to amke contact, he should reciprocate. Don't ever wonder or second guess why a man isn't calling or what he may be thinking because many times we are way off base and we drive ourselves crazy trying to come up with "why this" and "maybe this happend" type of scenerios. The bottom line is that it started and now it is stalled, you can make a first move BUT BE COOL about it whenyou talk to him. If he gives you a song and dance, is cold towards you , doesn't make conversation with you on the phone, the take the hint and be cool. Sometimes also there is no need to expalin and it sounds to me that when you say that you just want to say "thanks for what he did" is just an excuse for justification in your head to be able to make the calland not feel foolish about it. Your only justification aside from wanting to say thank you is that you both shared an intimate time and if you are not the kind of person who goes around being intimate with everyone, then that special time, meant a lot to you. I am not trying to downplay whatever went on that is too long and complicated to write down but make sure that after youg et whateve off of your chest that you feel you need to, then if he doesn't call you again or become a part of your life that you will be able to look at it as whatever it was and begin to move on. Good Luck!! [ TrueAdviceDiva's advice column | Ask TrueAdviceDiva A Question ]
kriddle06 answered Thursday November 3 2005, 10:48 am: i think you should be patient because he could be back in iraq and can be think ing about you, like all the good times. what ever you do don't forget about him because he might come back looking for you and you won't even know it. so be patient.
lulabelle answered Thursday November 3 2005, 9:01 am: (Part 2 is at the bottom)
Do you have his name rank and serial number? If so, you can write him through the base he said he was stationed at here in America. Theyâ??ll see to it he gets the letter no matter where he is. As for what you should do? I think this is multi-leveled. A lot of times in the service when they are getting ready to go on a mission they donâ??t allow much outside contact. It may be because the want them clear headed and ready to go on whatever mission they are getting ready to embark upon. He is entering into a life-threatening situation so he has to be clear headed. They keep them busy from sunrise to sun set. It could be that heâ??s exhausted and he doesnâ??t have that much free time to communicate with the outside world. It could be several months before he will have an opportunity to contact you. My suggestion is this. If you have his personal information go ahead and write him. Let him know how much you appreciate whatever it is. Tell him whatever you feel you need to say. Then, you need to let go. I say this because you donâ??t know when you could hear from him again. He could be gone for months, maybe even a year or more. He might not be contacting you because it would hurt him so much to remind himself continually what he will miss. There are so many factors here. I doubt he was a jerk. Start getting together with your girlfriends and go to the movies, out to dinner, dancing etc. Start doing things that will occupy your time so that the pain will diminish. I know this is very difficult for you and you must be really hurting. Time will help you with this. You might even want to keep up with him (through his base) during holidays (Christmas, Easter) by sending cards and things to let him know you are thinking of him. Other than this, there isnâ??t much else he can do.
Courtney answered Thursday November 3 2005, 8:56 am: What you really have to ask yourself is , do you think that he is worth contacting and do you think that you'll have any regrets if you don't contact him. I think you should. Don't be afraid to take a risk. And if he thinks that you're the "stalkerish" type, then obviously you could try to make him understand in a clear way(and in a way that won't freak him out) that you're not. And if he continues to think it, then it's just not meant to be. Then you move on and find someone else. If you can't forget about him, then he definitely means something to you. And it's up to you to find out what that something means . Contact the man. Throw away fear. After all, is he worth it. He'll stay on your mind. And if you're not going to contact him, you might as well move on and forget him . And if you say to yourself I could've, I should've. That won't matter because you didn't . I think you should go for it because you will feel a lot better about things. [ Courtney's advice column | Ask Courtney A Question ]
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