Sherry's advice column

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Q: im in 8th grade and me and my boyfried have been going out for a few months...but we dont rly talk on the phone.We talk ALOT in school but not on the phone and when we talk there is allways something to talk about..is this a bad thing that we dont rly talk on the phone?
help i rate!!

its nothing bad, its fine..but if you feel you need to talk to him on the phone..call him! Simple as that:)

Q: I'm 14-years-old so I'm not looking for my life partner or anything. Well, my friends and even some people I don't know call me shallow because I only go out with guys I think are hott. And it's true but only to a certain point. Yes, I do look at looks first but doesn't everyone? I look at looks and if I think they're attractive then I'll talk to them and such. But I'll only date them if they have a great personality to go along with their looks. Personality can also make a guy hott to me so even if I'd initially think they were ugly but they had a confident, amazing personality I'd think they were hott. And like I said before, it's not like I'm looking for they guy I want to marry right now; I'm just having fun and meeting different guys. Does the way I see that make me shallow? Or is the way I pick the guys I want to go out with wrong?

I believe that you arent but the people that are calling you shallow need to look in the mirror. We all go for looks, maybe not entirely but whoever says looks dont matter 100% are lying. really. Because I go for looks as well..and so does everyone else. Dont worry..screw all those people who are talking crap!

Q: So I like this guy and Im almost 100% he's digging me back. But I need some kind of magic line to let him know it's all systems go so he can ask me out. Im old fashioned and not willing to ask a boy out so it's kind of up to him. How do I get it across that Im ready to take this friendship and turn it into something more?

I know this sounds childish, but it always works! Get a friend to talk to him and tell him he needs to ask you out because you will say yes for sure. OR just talk to him a lot, flirt like crazy, and he'll get the hint!

Q: A few days ago i spent the night @ my friends house and she has a bro so he always has friends over too! and my friends mom said that my friend (13/f) is not aloud to have friends over when her bro does cuz were getting older and everything, and my parents feel the same way! the thing is that i like going over there when her bro has friends over cuz it's fun and stuff! HELP! i rate high!

Well what can you do about it? You cant change your parents minds...so just hang out somewhere else with them. Movies, Park, whatever.

Q: I've just started gym class, & she said we're NOT allowed piercings what so ever, even ear. & your not allowed to cover it up or anything. i have 2 of my piercings in my cartilidge, i can take my other ones in my lobe out but not my cartilidge because it'll close and i won't be able to get it back in anyways. I start it tomorrow. and i really duno what to do. I dont want to take them out because I don't want to have to get them repierced. My mom said thats really stupid & she said I won't have to take them out. What should I do?

The piercings in your ear dont even interfere(sp?) with playing sports. So I say forget about it and show up to class with your pericings and she probably wont even notice!! or just get your mom to call like other people have suggested!! hope I helped! -sherry

Q: I know this might make me sound desperate but here I go. Sorry if its long too. Well on Friday night me and my boyfriend got into a fight because he pretended some chick named Kayla called him and told him I was cheating on him, so I called him stupid because he wouldn't believe me. Later on that night he told me that he was joking and none of it was true and he made it up just so he could find how much I really loved him, and he broke up with me. But, of course we started dating about 10 mins after that. On Saturday he called and asked if I called him and hung up, which I didn't so then hes like ok whatever bye (Apparently he didn't believe me) & hung up. So I called him back to see what was up with that, and he was being mean so I hung up. Then he called me back and hung up, and I did the same and so on and so on. We did this for like 5 times each. Then he called me back after I hung up with him that one last time and said it was over. Does that even sound normal?? Is he an idiot or what? Also, what's a fast way to get over him. Because he meant allot to me, and if he asked me out right now I'd probably say yes, and I don't want to because it makes me look way desperate. THANKS

You shouldent go out. Both of you guys are being immature...and breaking up for really stupid reasons. Dont go out, if he asks you out say no, and dont worry you'll find someone new soon!!

Q: does anyone know any jobs you can get when your 14...?

14/f/ct

Fast food, babysitting, and a bagger at a local grocery store!

Q: my boobs are uneven one of them is smaller. i have to wear padded bras to make them even! is this normal?thanks appriciate it

Yeah its normal. I have that too except you cant really tell, only I can. haha Most people dont notice, only you do! A lot of people have it..dont worry:)

Q: i'm going skiing in a couple of months and i'm REALLY out of shape. any ideas what i could do to tone my legs...and the rest of me while i'm at it?

Pilates works soo good! Get a Pilates video or book at walmart for only $10! Or go to any bookstore/place that sells videos/books and their will be a pilates guide somewhere. They tone stomach, thighs, calfs, whatever..it targets the areas that everyone wants to work out! Oh and also run!!

Q: Someone at school called me a prick. What's that?? ThanX

Ummm sorry idk!! But my friend Kristen (her column is mypainisreal, check it out!) said that its bad and that it means like asshole...basically its mean..and you should beat that person up..thanks kris ur a doll!

Q: hey my gf has quite a growth down there, and i dunno is that wierd? should she shave it? would that hurt her? i dunno...do most guys like that? do most girls have that?

Yeahh, every girl gets it! But at different times and stuff. She could shave it but it wont hurt unless she does it wrong. Most guys like it shaved only if their doing "stuff". Yeah you must be young!!

Q: Does anyone know of anywhere that a 13 year old could work?? any help is appreciated..thanks

13, the only thing you could do is babysit! Its hard to get a job even at 15, but 13...yeah all you can do is babysit! Sorry:)

Q: What is the absolute fastest way to lose weight? I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. I'm 13, female, 5'4", 140 lbs. Even if you don't think it sounds that bad, it is. I refuse to take off my sweatshirt in school, sometimes even at home. I know that starving myself isn't the best thing to do because you get bloated from not eating and that's worse, but right now that's the only solution i can think of. Please help me

Hey sweetie! I'm 5'4 and a little over 140 so yeah I know what your going through! Theres this really easy diet. Just eat your 3 meals, no snacks in between, no jucies/sodas, only drink water, and dont eat after 6. And excersice when you can. My cousin did that and lost about 6+ lbs in a week. Stick to it and be patient! You'll lose the weight fast. Oh and dont focus so much on what the scale says, because on diets your weight fluctuates. Instead focus on how your clothes are becoming loose! Also weigh yourself only once a week!!!

Q: last night i had this really weird dream that my x kised me... i am totally over him because we broke up a while ago.. and i am also in love with my boyfriend now.. but i was just wondering if any 1 would no y i dreamed this?

believe me when I say this: Dreams are dreams. You cant control them and they dont mean anything. Dreams are just your thoughts from days, weeks, months, whatever before and then yeah..their a dream. dont worry..its nothings..

Q: ok i go to babrizon modeling skool and i've had this friend we've been tight since tyr-outs......shes 16 im 13.....and i never knew anything about her boyfriend not a name or an age nothin.......ok so i go to my dads house like everyother weekend and sometimes when im over there i go to the neighbors house to hang out.....well his neighbor (15yrs)had a few friends ova(ranging from15-16yrs) and i know im young but i was just havin fun and i kissed a few and then got forced into givin head to one of them........i can always tell my friend everything and since this was a scary thing to deal with i told her about it and it turns out the one who forced me to do that was her boyfriend.....shes mad at me and got everyone in barbizon to think im a slut.....should i be mad at her? i love goin to barbizon but i cant stand going if shes gonna be mean to me she was my best friend there.....how do i deal with this?

help me plzzzzzz

Dont apologize. You didnt even know it was her boyfriend! And you were forced* to do it! Shes just mad because he cheated and shes taking it out on you. You need to tell her exactly that: He cheated and thats why shes telling everyone your a slut and stuff. I say dont be friends with her anymore, theres other people at barbizon:)

Q: IM 14 yrs old and i have a pretty bad life. Im not suicidal or anything. Ive had a pretty bad past. My brother andrew hurts me he will kick me in the stomach and ribs and yell at me and it got so bad my mom called the cops. He threatend me and my moms life. I called him in detention (kids jail) and he said there was nothing to be said to me and he wants nothing to do with me and he will never find away to forgive me or forget. Now he is being senet away. my mom is never home. I told her we need some serious talking to do and we need to talk It took a long time to come out of that shell and tell her that. She just told me she has to go to her boyfriends house. I was shocked. She leaves me for her BOYFRIEND. When her own daughter needs help! I was in treatment i was sent away for 5 months. Nothing really changed over that. Im not a virgin the only reason why is because i feel thats the only thing that makes me feel wanted. Just to be "loved" for that period of time. I was thinking of the long run. Now my friend offered me to live with her for as long as i needed. To sort things out. Me and my friend had some pretty ruff times we actually we're best friends but i screwed up and that ended it but she was still there for me. So she offered a home for me. Shes not into that stuff sex, drugs, or drinking. Im trying to get away from that but its hard. Like i said... i feel like i belong then. SO how do i tell my mom that i want to just not leave her but i need a break. For a bit. my friend said that we could get both of our moms together and me and her would sit down and we would talk it out. I dont want my mom to think she is a bad mother i just need a "mother" figure there for me that i can talk to. And wont leave on me when i need help. So help me please. This is and maybe a change of life.

Wow, you have a great friend. Just tell your mom you want to stay over your friends for a while. Why would she care? You even said she like wants to spend time with her boyfriend and all..so i think she'll be okay with it. I know its hard to stop the drugs and drinking and all but you cant do that stuff while your staying at your friends house. Show them respect and show them that your glad that they took you in. Do that by respecting their wishes(not doing anything bad). So I think you should just straight out ask your mom because I think she'll def. say yes.

Q: Sherry, I know your experience with having your friend move away. I'm moving away and I want to know what my friends will go through. Please tell me what it felt like to know that your friend was gone!

To be honest, it sucked so bad. There were times when I cried because I had lost a great friend. I didnt believe it sometimes..I wished it was a dream..and then it came to the day on monday..where the bell had rung and he wasint sitting in his seat. reality hit me and it sucked..he was gone..and no one in class cared. I hate the fact that I cant see him anymore, and that random people in rhode island can. He's a great person and he always made me laugh. Your friends will cry, laugh and remember the good times...and miss you like crazy. One thing you could do is try to call them, write them, email them, whatever..keep in touch. I really hope I keep in touch with Zach forever..even though I'll never be able to see him again. The fact that I can still talk to him is great. Once thing I learned from this experience is that you should never take your friends for granted, because in one second they could be gone! I wish you the best!

Q: im 15 i just had sex with my boyfriend and after we had it my whole body went numb and i was shakin is it nerves??? pleazz help

Your nervous, and if your a virgin(or used to be now) then its just that your body is getting used to it..dont worry.you'll be fine!

Q: my legs shake when my bf touchs me below the waste and ppl said its cause im about to orgasm !! whats orgasm mean ?? thanks !!

Well basically its a thing where you fell like really really good I guess...like your just doing stuff and then you'll feel something thats really grat. Thats a orgasam. And I dont think thats why you shake...I think its because your nervous!

Q: I've liked this guy for a while and now he knows it, I haven't told him but he just figures/d it out. So, next week we're going to a party together and everyone who knows us says we should go together and that Josh likes me and he acts like it and says stuff that makes it obvious he does but when I ask him what stage he thinks our relationship is at he was like "Friendship" and I was like "That's it?" and he was like "Friends..getting closer and closer and closer..to the...top..like dating." He says that he does like me but he's not sure about exactly how he feels and all. He's trying to think it all through a whole lot. He doesn't think I know him that much, that I don't know the "whole" him. So, we talk and he said he wants me to come over his house sometime. We've gotten to be very close/good/whatever you wanna call it friends since school started. We're always ALWAYS talking to each other. In and outside of school. Another thing, he likes to talk about my "bubble butt". One day he even played the beginning of "Baby got back" up to "I like big butts and I cannot lie" and he was like "Thats all about you" and I was like "Why?" and he was like "Big butt". So the other day, we were talking about the party and he was like "How freaky and crazy do you get when you dance?" and I was like "Depends on how hyper I am" and he was like "You should eat a lot of sugar before you come" and I was like "And why is that?" and he was like "I don't knoooo" and I laughed. So then I said, "Are you gonna dance with me?" and he said, "Of course," then he said, "I need a girl with hips" and I laughed. Then he asked me what I was going to wear and I said I didn't know and he said, "You should wear a real tight skirt" and I was like "Why is thaaat?" and he was like "I don't knoooo" and I laughed again.
Me and him are always flirting no matter what, always talking and we talk about anything and everything and he comes up to me a lot at school just to talk to me. Even when we're in a group, we always manage to all behind or go ahead of the group just caught up in talking to each other. One day, we fell behind our group after lunch and we were goofing around in the hall and I pushed him and he pushed me and I pushed him and this boy behind us was like "Hey Josh, quit flirting with your girlfriend and get to class before you're late" and he just smiled slightly and looked from the boy to me, then we kept walking. I don't know, it's like there's some kind of connection between us that everyone else around us sees.
Another thing, I asked him if me and him were locked in a room together(we'd been asking each other hypothetical questions) would he want to make out with me and he said "Whatever you felt okay with" and he asked me "Would you want to?" and I was like "Yeah" and he said he'd want to, too. We also talked about once he got a new bike(not bicycle) that he wanted me to come over and ride with him.
I'm not sure what to do. I really want to hook up with him but I'm just so confused. I'd like to know what everyone else thinks of my situation if you could, thanks so much and I'm sorry this thing was so long. Anyone who actually finished reading it and still wants to reply, you are very patient and I really appreciate it. Thanks.

Well obviously, he likes you a lot..and you like him too! You guys both know eachother a lot by now right? So i say go for it. What do I mean by go for it? I think you should make a move. Because I mean, hey if he wont do it..you have to take charge. If your ever alone..and hes talking and all...just lean in and kiss him. I know he will not reject you because he likes you a lot! And after you kiss it'll be like a whole new relationship starting and you guys might even start dating. Take my advice, go for the kiss. I'm excited for you because you and josh sound so cute together and stuff!