Gender: Female
Location: UK
Occupation: Temp
Age: 26
Member Since: September 3, 2005
Answers: 222
Last Update: March 4, 2008
Visitors: 14394
Favorite Columnists
karenR
orphans
hailebop
ChOcOLoLo
|
| |
Ok, so I have a crush on this girl. Long time ago i fell in love and since then i wanted to talk to her. But she is always talking with other girls{wich is fine} and i hardly talk to her. Can anyone tell me how i can talk to her?
If it helps im 13/m and shes 11/f.
--caden--
PS: you can see a pic of me and the girl on my collumn. (link)
|
Hi There,
Most of the time, we avoid making the first move because a nasty little negative thought pops into our mind at exactly the wrong moment. Here are some of the most common:
Attractiveness is very much in the eye of the beholder. If you never approach the girl you fancy, how are they going to get the chance to decide?
You'll have more luck if you're pleasant and friendly, rather than flash or cheesy. Even if you end up feeling embarrassed, chances are that nobody else will even notice. If they say 'no thanks' nicely, then deal with it graciously and don't start insulting them, it'll only make you look immature and insecure. If the other person deliberately tries to embarrass you, they've actually done you a favour by letting you know that they have an attitude problem.
When it comes to body language every one of us speaks with a slightly different accent. Here are the basics, but when it comes to reading people for real be sure to look between the lines.
Girls are subtler than boys. If she's interested then you may see similar preening gestures, but also check out the way she's looking at you. Holding your gaze, looking away and then glancing back is a signal you can't afford to ignore. Also watch for the way she handles her wrists. Why? Because it's a part of the female body that's considered to be erotically charged. It's a pulse point, after all, not to mention a prime target for perfume. Crossing and uncrossing the legs may also be a promising sign too, but it could just mean she's busting to get up and away - so don't take the signs too literally!
If you doubt your confidence or your social skills, don't force yourself to go out on the pull. It isn't everyone's style, and if you are feeling down about yourself it could knock you back. Concentrate on being a bit more sociable, and making the effort to be friendlier. Most of us are shy, so it's a big relief when someone else makes an effort and breaks the ice first. Getting talking to people in a non-sexy way is a perfect method for making new friends, and the more friends you have, the more likely you are to find yourself chatting to someone you fancy.
Goodluck i'm sure you will be fine
|
I was searching through some xangas and I came across this girl that I'm not too fond of. I stopped to look at all the pictures she had thinking it might be pretty funny. I found multiple pictures of this girl, with my boyfriend on his bed. Nothing sexual, I think, but the fact I'M not even allowed in his room let alone his BED kinda ticked me off. Am I wrong to be upset that he had a girl that EVERYONE knows is basically a slut on his bed with him?
(link)
|
Hi There,
Well how others may percieve her to be he may not see it that way hence thats why he is allowing her, however if you are concerned for this guy then I think you may want to let hime know without upsetting him. Have a think about it and see what options are available and you wish to go about resolving the issue.
Goodluck
|
|
heya im angel_sarah23 u probably heard me tlking about my boy friend before well its ex boy friend since the 2nd of this month so 2 weeks on wed, well we broke up because hes a hindu (indian) and like his mum read an email from me and it was about explaining how much i love him and want to be with him, well anyways she read it and got in an argument with him over it and made him choose between her or me well he choose family obviously! but because nothing happened like an argument between me and him its like its not over and my head still says hes my boy friend i have cried over this every night and some how it doesnt add up and i cant get it into my head. we havent spoken probably since and its just hurting so badly! i dont know what to do anymore, ive been to the night doctor because i was crying so much it was making my mum upset and she wanted me to take a sedative as i have been known to cut myself and last christmas i tried to comit suacide! i dont think i can cope without him i havent for these two weeks how will it last forever my feelings for him havent changed at all and i miss being with him so much i love him x x (link)
|
Hi There,
It's understandable how hurt, saddened and angered you feel by your boyfriend's decision to break up with you. It's also not surprising how angry you feel towards his family as well. From the sound of it, they were clearly instrumental in the demise of your relationship. You have every right to be deeply hurt and angry.
From what you have said, it sounds like your boyfriend has maintained strong ties to his faith. But what isn't clear is whether you and he ever discussed the role of religion, in his life and in yours, during the time you were together. It's also not clear whether you ever discussed the possibility of your converting, if that's something you want to do, or if it's even a viable option. Perhaps you did and the discussion always ended in an argument, or maybe you both preferred to ignore the subject because it was too painful to deal with. Sometimes, talking about a sensitive topic is too painful to endure, that's why many relationships opt to sweep the problem under the carpet, in the hope it will go away.
The problem is, issues of such importance and magnitude never disappear on their own. They stick around until a solution either handily presents itself (rarely), or the issue is resolved through open and honest communication. In your case, it seems as if you never had the chance to actually hash it out with your boyfriend. His family didn't want him to get serious with a non-Hindu, and he complied.
Without knowing his side of the story, as well as the daily ins-and-outs of your relationship, it's hard to say if the decision to break up with you was painfully forced upon your boyfriend, or whether he simply accepted the situation, agreed a relationship with a non-Hindu was too problematic, and moved on. What is clear, however, is how the break-up is making you feel: angry, hurt and betrayed.
Your feelings are very real, and you will need to work through them, in order to move on with your life.
Finally, it's important to remember that although you love this him and you're devastated about the unfairness of the situation, when it comes to matters pertaining to religion and religious beliefs, logic and fairness are rarely a part of the equation. Your boyfriend is dealing with centuries-old customs; customs that he may not necessarily agree with, but customs he is morally and ethically obliged to follow nevertheless. While that is no consolation to you, it is important for you to realise that the break-up was in no way your fault. There is nothing you could have done differently to save the relationship. In many ways, the situation was out of your control.
If you can, try to get the help you need so that you can emerge from this sad experience a stronger person, with her heart back in one piece. With some hard work and effort you will get through this.
Takecare
|
|
I think I'm 2 months pregnant I'm dizzy alot to where I cant walk I talked to my teacher for my "friend" of course and she says its normal so thats why I think I am. What do you guys think? (link)
|
Hi There,
If you've had unprotected sex you have put yourself at risk of pregnancy. But you haven't mentioned if you've missed a period or not.
Most women don't continue to get periods when pregnant and it's worth remembering that a shorter or lighter bleed can also be a sign of pregnancy and should be checked out. There are various signs of being pregnant but these vary from woman to woman and not all women experience all the symptoms. The only way to find out for sure is to do a pregnancy test.
At four weeks after your last period, you may find that:
Your period does not start - although you may get some mild cramps, your breasts may feel heavy and full, and your nipples may be tingly or sensitive
You go off things like coffee or alcohol
There's an odd metallic taste in your mouth
You may find you produce more saliva
You start to feel sick
At seven weeks since your last period:
You are even more likely to be feeling sick
You may feel very tired
You may also find that you need to go to the toilet more often because your uterus is getting bigger and is pressing against your bladder
Some women experience constipation
If you think you might be pregnant, you can get a urine test done to find out for sure. Most pregnancy tests state that they work as soon as a period is late (i.e. one day after your period is due). If you don't have a regular cycle it can be difficult to know when a period is due. So it is best to take the test three weeks after having unprotected sex (as this is roughly how long it will take for the hormone levels to show up on the test).
You can get a free test at your nearest Centre, a local family planning clinic and at some doctor's surgeries. You will also be able to talk through how you feel and what your options are. You can do this in confidence and no one will be told about your visit unless you want them to be.
You can also pay for a pregnancy test at a chemist or your local pharmacy. They can do a test or sell you a home pregnancy testing kit.
If you are pregnant, it is important to get advice as soon as possible to decide what you want to do next.
All the best
|
so my best friends are throwing a christmas/new years/my birthday party and we need good ideas on food/games/and everything else that has to do with parties.
we are all 14/15 and there are guys and chicks going. thanks a whole lot!! (link)
|
Hi There,
Is your place suitable? Whatever the size, consider the fixtures and fittings. Can you afford to let the carpets get mashed up, and how is your landlord going to react if someone puts the fridge through the window?
Who you gonna call? Controlling numbers is no easy task. Invitation only is good, although most party people packed that in when they were ten. Otherwise, go for word of mouth, but keep it to a trusted circle of friends and ask them to consult you before inviting anyone else.
One week before
Sort the sounds: You're not going to raise the roof with a personal tape player and a pair of Walkman speakers, so if your own sound system sucks then beg or borrow stuff from friends. If you know a DJ, beg or borrow them too. Either way, have someone in charge of the music all night, otherwise you run the risk of people rifling through your collection and laughing heartily at your Wombles records.
Protect your party: Consider hiring some muscle for the night. We're not talking about a professional bouncer, but free beer for the beefiest guy you know should secure a sufficiently intimidating party presence.
Suck up to the neighbours: Disarm potential grief by popping round in advance with a bottle of wine or a box of chocs. Even if they do wind up bashing on your door in their dressing gowns, you can be sure they'll have thought twice about it, which is a moral victory at least.
On the day
Prepare the house: Remove all valuables, breakables and eatables, and store them in a safe place. Establish whether this party is going to take over the whole house, or just a section, and cordon off accordingly.
If it's a biggie: Strip the place down, especially the kitchen, and even consider putting the corkscrew on a leash. If it moves, assume it'll be nicked.
Sort the drinks: But don't go mad, as people will bring their own. Getting in the soft drinks is always a good call, however, especially if the caners work up a thirst.
On the night
Start the party half an hour early: Don't wait for the first person to arrive. They'll arrive late anyway, and if the party's not already thumping, they'll leave as soon as you turn your back to plug in the stereo.
Do a sweep for litter: Every hour or so, just enough to stop the party turning into a pig sty.
Enjoy yourself: And if it does go a little pear-shaped, and overrun by hoolies, just pick up the phone and call the police. Why not? It's your house, after all.
Hope this helped
|
its a long story but my bf posted a question on here & i answered it & i found out it was his question, and it wasnt bad bad but it really upset me & ive been crying & i cant talk to him yet & i juss need help on what to do in the mean time, it should be an hr er so so if anyone can help me please i juss need something to do to keep my mind off of it.
thanks (link)
|
Hi There,
Try not to worry too much, I know it is easier said then done but honestly you will get through this. Do you have any hobbies or interest to occupy your mind? or you could hang out with your friends. Why not sit down quietly with your boyfriend and speak to him calmly about the situation I know you are upset but if you really want the answers then the only person you will need to speak to is him.
Keep smiling now
|
hi i just want to know that can we have sex during pregnancy, if yes then till which month,
or if no then why.
please answer me.
(link)
|
Hi There,
Yes you can
Best wishes for your pregnancy
|
I just started a new job. The store is new, it's only been open about a week and a half. I've had about 7 shifts so far.
Well I had today(saturday) off. I knew I didnt have to work again until Sunday. The problem was that my boss left a message at 10 in the morning today saying that she needed me to cover someones shift at 5 today. I didnt actually get the message until after 5 pm because my answering maching wasnt working. So by the time I phoned the store the manager said my supervisor was gone for the day. I know that I wasnt scheduled to work today but could I get fired for not atleast phoning her? I talked to my friends and they told me I am worried for nothing and that I am allowed to have a life, but I just wanted to check here first. (link)
|
Hi There,
Losing your job can be a major blow, and hard to overcome. Once the initial shock has worn off, you have to act quickly. Firstly, decide whether you feel you've been unfairly dismissed.
If you think you've been dismissed unfairly, you must act fast if you want to make a complaint. This is because there is a time limit for taking your employer to an industrial tribunal.
Sometimes, you may be able to come to an agreement with your employer, if you promise to improve your performance. They might give you one last chance. Grovel. Admit that you made mistakes, and learn from the experience.
Sign on. Get down to the Job Centre as soon as possible and register as unemployed, or you might miss out on some of your benefits. If you're feeling sore after the experience, don't seek revenge as it's likely to backfire. Above all, you might need a good reference.
If you've been sacked, it's tempting to lie about it when you're filling in application forms for new employment. Sometimes it's acceptable to say that you had a 'difference of opinion', but it depends upon the situation. Place more emphasis on your achievements and what you learned from the job than your reason for leaving.
Outright lies are often uncovered, and many employers are now using checking agencies to make sure that applicants are not being dishonest.
If you really hated the line of work you were in, consider this to be an opportunity to look around for something you might enjoy more. Getting sacked might seem like a catastrophe at the time, but many people have found that it helped them establish a more fulfilling career. In the long run, it may see things turning out for the best.
Tyry not to worry to much.
|
Kaye so im 5'3 and i weigh 93 pounds and in 8th grade.
In opinions Do you think average or what?
(link)
|
Hi There,
Yes its average why you so worried about your image so much your education is more important then anything at this stage you've got plenty of time to worry about this when you get much older
Just chill and fun
Takecare
|
I was invited over to my friends place one night to play a card game with her and another friend that is married.
We started playing the game and joking around, and then I mentioned that my ex boyfriend was trying to get back together with me.
I was laughing about it because my ex is such a loser. Everyone else was laughing too except for the married guy. When I looked at his face he got this really angry, jealous expression and didnt laugh at all.
Does this mean that he might like me as more than a friend? He's married so I was a little suprised by his reaction.
I rate high, if you answer my question I promise I'll give a 5.
Thankyou (link)
|
Hi There,
Well has he ever mentioned to you that he likes you? what about his body language when he is around you? it could just be nothing however to be sure you will need to speak to him. Do you like him or are you thinking of getting back with your ex? have a think about what i've said and see what would be the best angle to take and proceed from there.
Goodluck
|
I get sleep paralysis like..every night..It happens to me over and over and over until my body gets so tired that.... I'm not afraid to get stuck in sleep. Why is this happening? I get 8 hours of sleep. I'm always tired when I go to bed. I take no naps during the day. I fall asleep. Is there something wrong with me?
This has been happening to me ever since THIS year. Last night, I had a dream that I couldn't breathe but then I realized that I really couldn't. I struggled to move my body to get myself up (link)
|
Hi There,
as this is a medical condition you may need to seek help from your doctor that the only advice I can offer you at this stage.
Takecare
|
|
i am about 5'5 5'6 probually closer to 5'6 now. and i weigh 118 pounds. do am i fine. cuz when i look in the mirror i see BBIIIIGGG. (link)
|
Hi There,
Well for that you need to speak to a doctor or dietician to give you an accurate answer
Goodluck
|
|
What are the important aspects related to industrial safety? (link)
|
Hi There,
So that no one is in any danger of getting injured or hurt i assume
Hope this helped
|
I'm writing this essay about the movie, October Sky. It's just..that we watched that months ago..and suddenly THIS popped up..and I have a bad memory.
What is Homer's "Abyss" ?
(link)
|
Hi There,
I'm just acknowledging you however i'm not sure myself sorry.
Goodluck
|
I need help
I don't know everything that is wrong with me, but I know i need help. I'm a total mess and I don't sleep at night. Every night. A fourteen year old girl should not have to sleep with her sister and mother every night so she doesn't wake up everynight breathing badly and shaking. that isn't how things are supposed to be. I hold my breath then let it out, take a drink. type some more, talking to people keep me awake because i know as soon as i try to sleep hell will come. (link)
|
Hi There,
Yes your right you do need help, however it seems you have a medical problem as you mention having difficulty breathing now that only the doctor can help you. We can only advice you and be there for you.
Speak to a counsellor if that will help you and also sit down with your sister and mother and explain to them how you feel.
All the best
|
|
I got a body wave in May...and my hair barely touches my shoulders. i didn't like it so i just comb it out..but suddenly now..my hair is really frizzy..and i dont know why. i usually comb it out..and spray condinator and its fine after a day. i'm dyeing my hair in a couple of minutes...so im pretty sure my hair will be really frizzy in the morning. Is there any products that ACTUALLY work? My hair looks dead when its frizzy and it's getting knots now. I've used gel but it makes my hair look worse. (link)
|
Hi There,
You could buy a hair straightner or there are products that ease you frize or the other option is to go to your local hair salon and see if they can be of any help to you
Goodluck
|
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=387836 (old question)
(New question based on old question.)
Okay... I figured out why he hasn't tried contacting me. (It is by far the worst reason possible.) I finally found a number through directory assistance, called it, and a woman answered. I was so shocked. I made up some crap about how I was from the hotel he stayed in and he had left his hat (the one he had given to me) and asked her if she wanted us to ship it back. It was the correct number because she said she'd leave him the message and have him call me back. She even knew which hat I was talking about.
After that, I did some research on the internet with the number I found. I am 99% positive HE IS MARRIED and has TWO KIDS. He lied to me, told me he was single. He had told me when we were together that his ex-girlfriend (what he really meant was his wife) had written him a letter while he was in Iraq telling him basically "cya, can't take it anymore." So I think maybe the marriage is faltering/on shakey ground, especially since he is about to be deployed soon and is wondering if she will leave him again.
HOWEVER, I know this is no excuse to lie to me and does not give him a reason to cheat on her. I have NO SYMPATHY for him. I am so glad I found this little bit of info out now, instead of wasting my heart on him. And he told me he didn't have any secrets. (Hmph!)
But I am soooooo hurt. Especially since I broke up with my previous boyfriend because of all the lies he told. Now this. Believe me, it's going to be very very hard for me to ever trust a man again. I feel like such a fool.
I'm going to send the hat back. I'm so angry right now. Maybe I'll send it back in shreds. I feel like screaming in his face or telling his wife what a &%*#%*$ he is. I feel like crying but right now I'm too much in shock to do so. I'm so stupid, but I suppose this experience will make me a wiser and stronger person... or at least an old maid.
Why do guys lie? Will I ever find someone who is not going to lie to me? Even if I find the greatest man in the world, will I screw it up because I'll be paranoid that he is lying to me? How do I deal with all this heartbreak? (link)
|
Hi There,
Though I can't tell you for sure why your boyfriend would lie about this, it sounds to me like he may have wanted to get your attention.
Although you may not want to talk to your boyfriend, I think that it would be the best thing to do if you really want to find out if he still likes you. Try to see if you can find a time to sit down with your boyfriend and talk
to him. Ask him about why he lied to you and mention that you still do like him. Maybe the
two of you can talk things over and resolve any
issues/conflicts that he might be feeling.
You could try asking one of his friends to speak to him if you really don't feel comfortable talking to your boyfriend, but remember that honesty between both parties is one of the most important factors in maintaining a good
relationship. If you want to find out the truth for once and for all, the best thing may be to confront him directly.
I hope that everything will turn out for the best.
Good luck, and take care!
|
Hey there! Currently I'm friends with this guy named "Rainbow", and just recently, I'm beginning to have feelings for him. He was like really nice and we could talk-story, and be comfortable around each other. Everytime during passing from class to class, we would say "hi" to each other, then break into conversation. But the weirdest thing is that now, we no longer say "hi" to each other, nor talk story. It's like we've never met, and all of this changed over the course of one week. I honestly feel that my feelings are becoming really evident, and it's making everything soo awkward between us. But what I am confused about is this: why is he acting weird around me too? i've always recieved mixed signals, but what else can i do to not make the situation more weird for us, but to restore it back to normal?
i am 15/f, and he is 16/m. (link)
|
Hi There,
The best way for you to tell him is to simply be honest. We can't help the way we feel. Find a time when you can be alone with him. It may be best to do this face to face. Sit down and just tell him that you're beginning to like
him. Chances are, he may feel the same way about you.
However, before you break the news to him, you might want to make sure that he'll be ready to accept it. How long have you been friends? Sometimes, if you tell him a little too soon, he may get scared and back down. Make sure you've got a secure friendship in place before you tell
him. Most of all, you must feel comfortable telling him about your feelings toward him. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, then it may be better to wait a while.
When you do tell him, like I mentioned above, just be honest about your feelings. Sit down with him and let him now how you feel. Chances are, he may be feeling the same way about you. Isincerely hope that everything will turn out for the best.
Good luck!
|
|
ok my best friend since a year ago and i get along really well for girls like we dont talk bad about each other or anything right? but now ive started to realize all she cares about is herself like today at lunch her and a friend werent gonna go to lunch bc they went to the library and i was in the line w/ my friend and when we got back she had moved my lunch across the table and sat down in my spot i kno its the stupidest thing to get mad about but i am and the bigger reason is we made plans over the summer to go to fright fest with each other and it turned into a group thing but now she wants to ditch us and go to a friends party instead and she promised me shed go and shes only known this guy for like 2 months i thought friends were more important she wants me to go sunday instead of saturday but i dont want to bc my other friend are counting on me to go and i dont want to just ditch them like that what should i do??? shes starting to get on my nerves and starting to blame me for stuff that happens that is totally out of my control likes shes so innocent and doesnt deserve whatever happens to her anyways sorry this is so sorry but please, help!!! (link)
|
Hi There,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone makes you cringe, but that doesn't solve the issue. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line once more and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whatever your mate has done to make you feel so awkward, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to think about things from your point of view, without leaving them feeling shame-faced. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to shape up straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
Goodluck
|
My boyfriend just asked me if it was alright for him to spend the night at his best friend's house. His four best friends are girls. there's gonna be two other guys, but I still don't really like the outlook on it; he's gonna be all night with 5-6 other girls.
is this dumb of me? (link)
|
Hi There,
If your relationship is strong enough and you can trust him then i'm sure he will realise his limits, i know it must be real hard for you, try and explain that to him and so what comes of it. If he's a decent guy and not a player then you have nothing to worry about, maybe the night he's going to spend you could do the same with your friends have a good night out to stop you thinking and worrying so much and maybe you could text him or call him to see what he's upto do not make it obvious that your checking up on him anyways hope this has helped and don't hesitate to come back to us if you have anymore concerns.
Takecare
|
|