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why do guys lie?
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Okay... I figured out why he hasn't tried contacting me. (It is by far the worst reason possible.) I finally found a number through directory assistance, called it, and a woman answered. I was so shocked. I made up some crap about how I was from the hotel he stayed in and he had left his hat (the one he had given to me) and asked her if she wanted us to ship it back. It was the correct number because she said she'd leave him the message and have him call me back. She even knew which hat I was talking about.
After that, I did some research on the internet with the number I found. I am 99% positive HE IS MARRIED and has TWO KIDS. He lied to me, told me he was single. He had told me when we were together that his ex-girlfriend (what he really meant was his wife) had written him a letter while he was in Iraq telling him basically "cya, can't take it anymore." So I think maybe the marriage is faltering/on shakey ground, especially since he is about to be deployed soon and is wondering if she will leave him again.
HOWEVER, I know this is no excuse to lie to me and does not give him a reason to cheat on her. I have NO SYMPATHY for him. I am so glad I found this little bit of info out now, instead of wasting my heart on him. And he told me he didn't have any secrets. (Hmph!)
But I am soooooo hurt. Especially since I broke up with my previous boyfriend because of all the lies he told. Now this. Believe me, it's going to be very very hard for me to ever trust a man again. I feel like such a fool.
I'm going to send the hat back. I'm so angry right now. Maybe I'll send it back in shreds. I feel like screaming in his face or telling his wife what a &%*#%*$ he is. I feel like crying but right now I'm too much in shock to do so. I'm so stupid, but I suppose this experience will make me a wiser and stronger person... or at least an old maid.
Why do guys lie? Will I ever find someone who is not going to lie to me? Even if I find the greatest man in the world, will I screw it up because I'll be paranoid that he is lying to me? How do I deal with all this heartbreak?
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Do you really want to mow why guys lie. They do that beause they dont want ot get caught up in there own lies so they lie to you. But they always do that because they never want you to brake up with them. They also do that because if they cheat on you, and you find out and you confront them they denie it. And thats right to your face. Now you now why guys like to lie.
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People lie. They all do. I have, my mom has, my dog has (wait, he isn't a person..), and I am sure you have at one point or another. People lie for many reasons. Sometimes they are looking to take advantage of you, sometimes they want something from you, sometimes they are trying to save their own ass. Sometimes people just lie for the hell of it. Due to self preservation or just plain selfishness, you won't continue to live and never be lied to again.
One way to try and protect yourself is to get to know someone before dating or having a relationship other than a plutonic one. Especially meeting people online. You can never REALLY know who that person is. You can meet great people in person and online, but both can be deceiving.
It is a difficult lesson to learn, but it is a good one. You just need to take your time and get to know people. There are plenty of good ones out there. Adopt a friends-first policy (that is what I do) Once you are comfortable that they are who you think they are, then you should decide if you want anything more. Don't give up after two bad experiences.
Be angry at him, for he is the douche. He was a scoundrel. If you want, you could tar and feather him (I have always wanted to do that...man that would be cool. Maybe I'll find that stupid rent-a-cop who game me a parking ticktet.) But, you would have to find feathers, and find tar (just flirt with a roofer...) find a way to melt it, then go to where he lives and have him stand there while you dump it on him. Then run after him (because he has just been tarred...he may be screaming...) and throw the feathers onto the tar. Then you will be escorted to jail and we will all hear about you on the news. Now, you are not going to do this... How do I know? I have a sinking feeling you are smarter than that. ( I am not however...)
You should not say that from your two experiences that all men will lie to you. That is an invalid generalization. You CAN say (and should say) that men have lied to you in the past and that you will need to be more careful. There are people out there who will not lie to you. Like me. Heh, that is funny since my name is NOT chicken_flavored_eggs and I do not look like cartoon snakes. Sort of...heh.
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Just because there was 1 bad seed doesnt mean all men are first of all, think about your old boyfriend. Okay Ditch him he's playing you around if he cheated on his wife who's to say he wouldnt cheat on you he is nasty peice of work and you could do better without him.
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♥Well first off guys are just like that and you have to forget about that skeez. He is a jerk and you deserve better. Guys are lying perverted sons of a bitches!!! lol. If a guy makes you cry he is not worth your time.
♥Send the cap back and with it write a special little not in it. The note should contain
your feelings and every thought that you have felt while crying those pointless tears. Make sure to tell him that you weren't anything to him, but a small fling that wouldn't last in heavens words.
♥You have to stay strong by keeping things together and not crying as much. Make sure to find other fun and trustful guys to hang out. I know its hard to trust again but you have to. Make yourself enjoy one others company and soon it will come natural to you. I really hope I helped
♥Glam
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I feel so badly for you. This scenario did cross my mind, but I like to keep things on a positive note. I didn't want to be right or hurt you anymore than you were hurting yesterday. That is why I put in the part at the end to move on after you had written the letter. The letter was an exercise I thought would help you to feel completed. Also, my idea was a possible scenerio. Your method of locating him was very smart. If it were me Iâ??d send the hat back with XOXO all over the box. Iâ??d put a card inside with the hat that says, â??thanks for the wonderful weekâ?? and sign it love, and your name. He will have a hard time explaining this one and there is a lesson he needs to learn here. The reason he does this is because he gets away with it. I personally donâ??t have a problem with people who are poly-amorous. I think that lifestyle is just fine as long as they let everyone know this is their life choice. The problem I have with this situation is this is someone that does it and doesnâ??t tell, for example, you and his wife, so that you two can make an informed decision as to whether you want to be involved with him, or not. Itâ??s the blatant lying that is the problem which is so cruel of him. I donâ??t know why people feel they should protect these people and let them get a way with this behavior. I think his wife needs to know what he is up to when heâ??s not with her. It may hurt her to know this, but in the long run she will better off. She will then be making an informed decision. Will she stay with this man who will not be committed to her in the way she signed up for or not. And anyway, he indicated they were having problems. I wonder why...Whatever decision she makes at this point will be her bed. As for the lying thing...I wouldnâ??t be paranoid of it, just cautious. Donâ??t believe everything someone tells you. Believe what they do, not what they say. When you ask a question watch the body language. People pretty much tell you everything you want to know if you become observant of how they behave after being asked a question. Most of the time people canâ??t look you in the eye when they are lying. People usually overt their eyes down to the left when lying. This is a method the police use in determining when someone is lying or not. There are those rare individuals who can look you in the eye, but, there is a steely blank look in their eyes. Donâ??t trust this. Listen to your instincts about a person when you meet them. Your instincts are usually right on. Think back on your experience with this guy. Was there anything that flashed through your mind that made you wonder differently from what he was saying, but you over rode it because you were taking him at face value? I do wish he had not done this to you. That was so unfair and unkind of him. Remember, this was only a week. Thank goodness you didnâ??t have any more time invested into this. Think of this as a positive thing; a learning experience. Learning experiences sometimes donâ??t feel good even when they are good. You now know, yes, people will prey on your emotions to get what they want. As far as the question goes; is there a guy out there that doesnâ??t lie? No. But then no one on this planet is 100% truthful all the time. People tell little white lies all the time. Iâ??m sure you do. We all do. What you look for is a guy who keeps it to a minimum. Let him get away with the little white lies...it's the big ones that count. They are out there just keep the faith. Youâ??ll find one. As far as the pain? With time it will diminish. Surround yourself with friends and go to movies, dinner, dancing, etc. Keep busy and before you know it the hurt will have diminished and you will meet someone that will be beyond your wildest dreams. It may be that you needed this experience to be able to recognize him.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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Most guys lie. There are a few that do not lie and take care of you the way a man is suppose to. You just need to search for one. He had no right to lie to you i am glad that you found out the truth. You will find someone that you can trus it will just take some time. The best thing to do is find someone but get to know them really well and meet the family and ask the parnets questions. If you ask the parents they will tell you the good and the bad about their kid. You deserve better and i know you will find it. Just wait and he will come.
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Hi There,
Though I can't tell you for sure why your boyfriend would lie about this, it sounds to me like he may have wanted to get your attention.
Although you may not want to talk to your boyfriend, I think that it would be the best thing to do if you really want to find out if he still likes you. Try to see if you can find a time to sit down with your boyfriend and talk
to him. Ask him about why he lied to you and mention that you still do like him. Maybe the
two of you can talk things over and resolve any
issues/conflicts that he might be feeling.
You could try asking one of his friends to speak to him if you really don't feel comfortable talking to your boyfriend, but remember that honesty between both parties is one of the most important factors in maintaining a good
relationship. If you want to find out the truth for once and for all, the best thing may be to confront him directly.
I hope that everything will turn out for the best.
Good luck, and take care!
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hey dont worry you will find someone that you can trust n will not cheat on you jus wate he will come along and when you find that someone try trusting him and talk too him n tell him what you have been threw in the past and you dont want that too happen again n stuff .. hopei helped xOx !!
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