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Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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18/F
I'd first like to start off by saying that yes, I know being a virgin in this day and age is rare and something I should be proud of, hold onto, and cherish. Or so some say. I know I should wait for someone special who cares and respects me and blah blah. But this isn't a fairy tail and my life doesn't become anything close to those options.
I've had the opportunity to sleep with a guy I've known for about a year, I have feelings for him and I think he's really nice and very attractive so I'm very surprised I was even given this opportunity considering I'm..not. I'm just not completely sure if he feels the same about me. I have a big feeling that I'm just a booty call and I hate to be one of those girls that hopes that sleeping with him will change that fact.
On the other hand, weather it's with him or not I want to lose my virginity. I want to have a boyfriend even more than that but I don't know many people and like I mentioned, I'm not attractive and that's pretty much all anyone looks for nowadays. Or if you have a nice body they can ignore your face but then again you're just an object to them. I can honestly say if you're just going to answer this telling me to wait until someone special comes a long you're pretty much wasting your time because no one special is going to. I know the guy I mentioned above will respect me considering it's my first time and he knows that, and he's seen me mostly unclothed also so that help. Not sure about the after result though. I have a horrible time meeting new people and can't even make friends with a girl let alone a guy.
I've realized that this kind of came out like a rant, but either way is like opinions/comments whatever. Thanks for your time. (link)
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Are you on birth control? If no, raincheck till you've been on it for the doctor recommended time till effectiveness.
Both cool with condoms? Going get tested together is acceptable if birth control is used.
Not on birth control and not going to wait? Go to the condom aisle at wallgreens or whatever's close and find "VCF". It's a little film of spermicide. 15 minutes and it's almost as effective as a condom without a condom. Perfectly save to use with a condom and help further guard against breakage.
It tastes nasty. Shower accordingly.
You're 18. Do what you want. Just do it safely.
Work on meeting people. Join a gym. If you don't like your situation, work on it instead of resigning yourself to it. You can be an introvert and have a social life. It takes a pretty decent act of will, but it's possible and can be rewarding in it's own right in addition to letting you meet someone you might be able to date.
And for the record, attractiveness is not the sole measure of datability. Personality counts for more than you'd probably believe at this point. You said you have a horrible time meeting new people and can't make friends.
Why, exactly? What's the trouble spot here? How do you act around people?
I don't care if you, an adult, want to have sex with this guy who is an adult (I assume). But doing it because you think there are no other opportunities around...
Do you really think desperate sex is going to be good sex? Bad sex can be worse than no sex. Friendly word of warning. Whether you value your virginity or not, you are going to remember that for the rest of your life.
If you can live with that, go for it I guess. Just, you know, work on everything else after.
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When i was younger, like 6, 7, 8, I was able to start my dreams and project myself into them. Im almost certain i was astral projecting. I was seeing everything as though it were an actual cituation in real time. After i got to be about 10 or 11, i couldnt do it anymore. I could only see myself as if i were another person interacting with me. Id like to start astral projecting myself (again if that's what i was doing) but i need to know how to begin to do that again. Can anyone help me? (link)
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What you were doing was most likely some form of lucid dreaming.
http://humor-image.com/how-to-control-your-dreams/
That'll get you started. Google "lucid dreaming" if you want to know more in detail. I'm sure wikipedia has a good write up on it.
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i am 17 and my bf is 18. i love him a lot and he too. we were in a long distance relationship for about 5 years. now he has moved into my city and he wants to give me this special gift of being physical with him on my birthday next week. it is okay since his family knows about us and our future plans so he will not dump me. but i am really shy. i do not know why but he took me out to a date yesterday and i did not even let him hold my hand. i feel butterflies in my stomach with him around. i tense up and sweat. i have told him this but he says that i will not be shy after the first time. but how do i get over the first time itself? the idea of him with me in bed , touching my private parts and seeing me naked, feeling him inside me,kissing him etc. is like too difficult . please help!! i have to do this and i want to...so please don't ask to postpone it. just help me with the shyness thing, maybe give tips on how to relax with him around. thanks. (link)
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Ouch...
Alright, so here's the thing. Dating, sex, these things are usually a process. In the adult world, yeah, it would not be uncommon to date someone a few times and sleep with them having known them a month or less.
People (ideally) do this after having grown up dating people, having first kisses which did not lead to sex quickly, exploring sexuality slowly and getting comfortable with each step deeper into it before they make the next one.
You know, or they end up drunk and in bed with a friend freshman year in high school, but not everyone has a perfect progression.
Don't have sex on your birthday. You aren't ready.
One of the things you learn through slow progression is that being physical with someone can be a beautiful thing, or a fun thing, or a relaxing thing, or a comforting thing, or all of them at once. You learn to enjoy letting someone in, being intimate with them, and giving them access to your body that no one else but you is otherwise allowed.
You learn to feel safe with someone, be vulnerable around them, and not be afraid of what happens after. Because what happens after is good.
Five years or no five years you need that progression, and you need to explain that to him. You need to be free to take it slow. To go on a date and kiss him only at the end of it. To get used to kissing and eventually make out. To let him touch some part of you you are comfortable with, get used to that, and then let him touch something else.
Nudity... well by the time you're ready to let him see you naked you'll probably also be ready for sex to some degree or another. It's really not that big a deal.
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i am 18 year old boy . my gf is 17. i love her immensely and i have promised to marry her once i am financially strong.however every time i want to touch her , hold her hand or kiss her...she pushes me back and turns away.she does not even talk about sex!! when i asked she says that she loves me and she wants closeness but she is SHY??...i really love her a lot and it is 4 years now , and i want to make love to her. i can figure it out that she wants it too , i have gone through her diary secretly but she says that she is too shy to let me touch her private parts or kiss her??? however she agreed to make love soon. guys please give clues on how to approach to her once we are in bed so that she feels comfortable and it is easy for her to come out of her shyness. and also can anyone explain to me this psychology of girls??? (link)
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Break up with her.
You are ready for things she is not. Whatever other compatibility exists between you either she is going to have sex with you before she is ready or you're going to go absolutely nuts waiting respectfully (as you should if you stayed with her) for her to be ready.
4 years...
I'm sorry you invested that much time here. Can't really do anything about it at this point.
This isn't about the psychology of girls it's the psychology of this specific person, your girlfriend. She, specifically, is nowhere near ready for this yet. 4 years without kissing is highly unusual in just about any relationship in a romantic context.
Yeah, she might have some intimacy issues she needs to work out. You can't rush her, it's her shit, she's got to figure it out on her own.
But you're not obligated to hang around while she does figure herself out, either.
That bit's up to you. Stay and be respectful, or go and find a woman to date who is interested in being physically intimate with you.
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Skyrim for pc and Xbox 360 controller.
I just bought Skyrim for the pc and I'd like to play it using an Xbox 360 controller. I'm unsure if all xbox 360 controllers are compatible for the computer or not though.
I'd like to buy this one, will I have any problems?
http://www.amazon.com/Afterglow-AX-1-Controller-Xbox-360-Green/dp/B003IU01TY/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp (link)
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You can easily google alternate plug in controllers with a similar layout to xbox. Logitech probably has something, their stuff is generally somewhat reliable. I have never heard of whoever put out that aftermarket controller so I can't tell you if it's good or not. When in doubt I go with Microsoft (or Sony or Nintendo) or with Logitech.
You can also get a USB attachment which lets you sync xbox controllers to your PC or plug them in. It works with an xbox controller driver and it's put out by microsoft itself.
Last, don't play Skyrim with a controller. The inventory UI is clunky enough as it is (learn mods and get Sky UI pronto) and if you like bows at all controller aiming is such a pain for stealth bow sniping.
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I'm 18 years old, and I work part-time after school. A few months ago, this new guy came in. He's a bit older than I am, and really funny and very cute, and I immediately took a liking to him.
I didn't think he'd ever be interested, but we started talking and he's asked to hook up. I have a few concerns;
1. He's in his 20s, and I feel like hooking up to him is sex. I don't feel comfortable going all the way with someone that I'm not even dating.
2. I like his personality, and I worry that getting physically intimate will cause me to develop feelings for him.
3. I gained a lot of weight recently. I'm just barely overweight, and you can't really tell how big I am in clothes. If I were to take anything off, I'm sure he'd notice some... trouble areas...
So, what should I do?
Thanks :) (link)
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Hmm.
Yeah, hooking up probably means sex. It should mean sex. Damn it, when my generation invented the term before yours co-opted it that's what we meant.
Anyway, you don't have to go all the way because someone might expect it. Even if that's what he asked for, you seem to have missed the fact that dating is an active negotiation and interview process. What's on the table can change on either side at any time. Which means you have to talk to each other and figure it out.
Yeah, being physically intimate will probably cause you to develop feelings for him. You've described him as someone you're attracted to. Being intimate with someone you're attracted to generates feelings. Not all sex is intimate but intimate was your word so I think we both know that you know that if you had sex with this guy it would be intimate for you.
Ok, scratch all that, you've already got feelings for this guy.
The weight thing...
Guys don't do a point by point analysis and weigh the pros and cons of your naked body. If anything, we just find something we like and focus entirely on that. Or several somethings.
I dated a girl who had no ass. It was tragic, not even pancake ass, just like zero ass of any kind. I have more ass than her.
I didn't care. She had absolutely gorgeous, gravity defying breasts. I loved those breasts. I was proud to get to play with them.
I've dated girls with a cups, girls with almost no hips, girls with odd birthmarks. Every girl I've ever been with has been insecure about something and I could have cared less about it.
You have to keep in mind, you like men. Our bodies are pretty utilitarian. From that, we develop something of a practicality about how people look most of the time. I mean, look at the penis. It's the goofiest looking thing on the human body male or female. And we've all got one for people to see when we take our clothes off.
If a guy likes you and is attracted to you with your clothes on, barring horrific torture scars or a birthmark that looks exactly like his mother somewhere, he's going to like you with your clothes off too.
Oh, and last.
Just talk to him. He asked you to hook up. He's expressed attraction in some form. Tell him that you don't want to hook up, but that you like him and are attracted to him. That you would like to go out with him.
Just set your boundaries and stick to them. Let him know what you're ok with and what you aren't. If he's not interested, he's not interested. If he is, hey, maybe you'll have a boyfriend soon.
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Why boys are eagar to see girls breast (link)
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Because they look nice. Staring is rude, however, so feel free to call people out if you catch them.
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13/m
so i want to talk to my mother about my "love life" since i got myself a girlfriend, and i cant keep it secret forever. So how do i start a conversation about what is going on? (link)
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Literally "Hey mom, I've got a girlfriend now"
99% of the time this results in a barrage of questions which will probably take care of most of the things you want to talk about.
Bring up any topics she misses.
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So I found out my boyfriend cheated on me after about a year and a half of us dating and I immediately broke up with him and took my space. Over the next few months he had done a lot to show his remorse and I really felt as though he understood the severity of what he had done and I loved him enough to try and work things out. We got back together and were together for another 8 months when I found out that he had cheated AGAIN with a different girl. Because of what he has done to me it makes it easy to walk away from someone so cruel but I am really struggling with how to move past the pain it has caused me. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I obviously have left him but I am now left with so much pain because of all the deception and the lies that I thought were true and genuine. How can someone tell you to your face that he could never put you through the same pain again and never cheat again when its all lies? He sent me messages the day after I left him telling me how we are meant to be together and how I am the love of his life. Is this just blatant manipulation or do you think he really believes the words he says? (link)
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Alright.
First off, serial cheaters do so because they have problems of their own. Some need that can't be met by their relationships that they go outside of them to find.
This guy sounds like a serial cheater. When he apologized, when he promised he would never do it again, he probably meant it. He just wasn't up to keeping his promise. He probably should see a therapist about that at some point.
Usually it's tied up in "This girl wants me and it makes me feel good about myself that this new person wants me, so I'm going to be with her and feel wanted" and that really has nothing to do with you. You couldn't satisfy that need because you already wanted him. One person wanting him isn't enough simply because he doesn't value himself enough and needs other people to do it for him. His need to feel wanted by anyone and everyone is more immediate and demanding than his need to keep his promises.
Just try to keep in mind that it's not that you failed, it's not that he didn't care, it's that he's just kinda broken and is undatable until he figures that out for himself, cares about it enough to fix it, and then acts to actually fix it.
Last, the practical side of this.
Occupy yourself. Read books, play games, get into a new show, go out with friends. Sometimes what you need is distance. You get distance by not letting yourself wallow.
It's going to hurt. To some degree, you have to let it. You have to let yourself grieve the loss. You can't run from it and escape all the time. It's not about escaping the pain. It's about not letting it have mastery over you. You cry and then you dry your tears and go live your life. Then you get some sleep, wake up, and do it the next day. As time goes on, it hurts less and less, until one day you wake up and realize you're over it.
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I have this coworker, and he and I have become pretty good friends. I think I'm falling for him, and it appears to be mutual, I can just sense it. Before, about a year ago, we were acquaintances and kind of joked around. Then our friendship started growing, and we became pretty good friends, to the point where we have a 6 hour long conversations on Facebook about serious stuff, funny stuff, the whole sha-bang. Now it's sort of taken an awkward turn. When we're scheduled on the same shifts, at first we are sooooooo awkward. Then as the shift goes on, we're close again. He's even started playfully teasing, and we've got some witty banter going on. Great development, right? Awesome news, eh? WRONG.
See, there's an important factor I think we both like to forget... I'm a hardcore Christian, and he's an Atheist. It says on his Facebook he's a "Proud Atheist", and not that Facebook has the overall say in life, but if he took the time to write that and become part of a FB group with that same title, then I'm thinking he's pretty sure about it. I'm very serious about dating/relationships. I'm 18, and I've never dated anyone. I didn't want to date in high school because 9/10 times they fail, and are just drama-infested wastes of time. So, I date with purpose, I don't mess around. I can't date anyone who I couldn't see myself marrying. Not that I have to know RIGHT AWAY, or even in the first year. But if I knew I'd never marry that person right from get-go, I can't date them. Whether addicted to meth, never want to have kids, that sort of thing. I graduated in 2012, and since then I've just been waiting to meet the right dude to date. And... I think he takes the cake. He's intelligent, yet sensitive. Hilarious, caring, understanding, supportive, confident not big-headed, musically inclined, and he's witty, yet mature in the important ways. He's a nerd, like me. He's perfect in every way except one! HE'S AN ATHEIST. Whyyyyyyyy me?
I know there's no way I'm ever going to marry an atheist. My future husband will at least be aware of the fact that Jesus is our Lord and Savior. I probably sound snobby, but think about it. How would we raise our kids? Our mindsets in life would be so different. I'd be living for the Lord, alone. But... I like this guy a lot. I'm crushed. I think about him when I fall asleep and when I wake up. And I'll think "Why don't we date- oh yeah. Crap." and my heart sinks. I'm trying to cling on to some hope. I suppose my question is, do atheists convert often?
I wouldn't want him to make that change for me. Not at all. I'd want him to do it because HE wanted to. I want him to know the love of God, feel the powerful emotion the Holy Spirit can bring you, see life with God's Goggles, if you will, haha. So, what would you suggest I do? Do you have any advice/suggestions? Or should I just suck it up and move on? Thank you for reading. (link)
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Rahzie covered all the important stuff so I'll just add my two cents.
I'm agnostic. Think of it as Athiest Lite. They functionally believe that there is no God or higher power of any kind. That there is in fact an absence there. I don't believe anything. Maybe there's a God, maybe there isn't, maybe the greeks had it right all along. Whatever is true I have never experienced anything in my life that would give me cause to feel spiritual or religious.
I do think Buddhism is kinda cool though. I'm not Buddhist, I just admire them as a spiritual movement.
I used to be Christian. I have my reasons for not being one anymore but it really boils down to the fact that I lost my faith when I realized there was never a credible reason to have it in the first place.
Alot of agnostics and atheists are the same. That doesn't generally change back. It's not a decision, it's an epiphany. Short of a new and different epiphany, those viewpoints are there to stay.
Betting on someone having a specific epiphany in any part of their life is a hail mary if I ever heard of one.
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I've been taking pills for 8 years even I was child bkoz of acne. Now I am going to stop it then get pregnant. When can I get pregnant after stopping pills? I am afraid if the acne get occurred again. (link)
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Acne may or may not come back, but if you want to have a kid and it comes back, that's just something you'll have to deal with.
The good news is that childhood acne does usually stop. I had it pretty bad when I was younger and I haven't had a pimple on my face in years now.
Off the pills, who knows. It is possible that once you have a full cycle after stopping that you could get pregnant. Stop before a period, have the period, don't take them for a month, have your next period, and then after that you might well be fertile and capable of conceiving.
At the same time, keep in mind that medically a couple is not considered infertile until they have been having regular and well timed unprotected sex for a year without conceiving a child. I know a couple who took 8 months of trying after being off pills for 3 months, he was military so they weren't having sex while he was deployed and she stopped so that she could get pregnant as soon as he got back from overseas.
It took like 8 months and a week before she finally got a positive result on a pregnancy test.
Could take you once, could take you alot, so just be aware that even without the pills it might take you a while to conceive.
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So im 13/m and i am addicted to masturbating... i also watch porn but i have a gf. So is it ok if i watch porn? Am i a perv or cheating in a way? (link)
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Masturbating is fine and porn is really no one's business but yours. Some women don't see it that way. I've never dated one, but they definitely exist out there.
If your girlfriend has a problem with it, dump her. You're 13, the relationship had a very short half life no matter what you did, and women may come and go but your hand will never leave you.
A few warnings.
- Too much masturbating basically ups the stimulus you need to maintain arousal. It's a biological function of your nerves, basically they can become desensitized to repeated intense physical stimuli if subjected to it over a long period of time.
Not a big problem. Lay off for a few weeks to a month and it'll be like nothing happened.
- Porn addiction is in fact a thing. It's real, and it involves brain chemistry. Porn offers a nearly endless supply of new and intensely stimulating material. The same way you can physically get used to being stimulated, it works that way mentally too. You get used to the variety or you start venturing into more explicit territory and you set up a feedback loop where your brain is used to those specific kinds of stimulation and other kinds have less of an effect on it.
It's being studied right now and people are publishing about it, but there's a somewhat growing movement of guys quitting internet porn because it can impact sexual performance and response.
Keep in mind this second part is directly tied to internet porn, not masturbating in general. The mental part comes from having that endless variety of watchable material.
The part about this that makes you care is that enough of either the physical or the mental and you could find yourself having trouble getting or maintaining an erection except specifically when masturbating to internet porn.
You know, like when you eventually want to have sex with a girl.
Again, the good news is that it's not permanent. The mental bit takes longer, but from the things reported by those who have issues in this area it's pretty standard that guys will quit watching porn and masturbate less (down from many times daily to a few times a week) and be pretty much completely back to normal within about 2-3 months.
Keep an eye on your habits, but also remember you're 13. Puberty hits you pretty hard over the head with sex drive. In time it tapers off a bit and you get used to managing it.
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I do lots of inappropriate stuff on the internet.. like porn. I delete the history, bu when i am going to sign up for a job will they find it? Will it affect me somehow? (link)
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Unless you do something illegal pretty much no one wants to know what you're looking at and it certainly doesn't come up in job applications.
Sex and the workplace do not mix. If you're just watching videos on youporn or something literally no one cares.
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ok so i am a 16 year old girl and really bi-curious? I think i like guys but if i get into a relationship i end it too quickly because it doesnt feel right when i am with a guy. but I'll look at a guy and say he's hot but it ends there. as with girls though i've never had a crush on a girl but i can see myself in a relationship with one (a girl in general). i am just so confused, i don't think there is anything wrong with being gay but i am afraid that if i am that I'll loose friends and be judged harshly. i know my family will accept but i am still scared. (link)
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Sexuality can be somewhat fluid. I met a woman recently who had been with women since her teenaged years but had dated men way back when before she graduated high school as well. After almost a decade of women only through college and beyond she decided she wanted to try dating guys and found she liked it again.
It's possible you prefer one over the other even if you like both to some degree. It's pretty common for people to have anywhere from a slight to a significant preference for one sex or the other. There are lots of people out there who are not completely straight, completely gay, or perfectly bisexual and can date and have sex with either with zero preference for male or female.
Your fears...
I'm bisexual. It took me until I was 24 to come out. My parents do not know. No one in my family knows. Well, I have one cousin, but she's the other black sheep and she's gay, so we understand each other. My closest friends know. My ex wife knows. That's about it.
GLBT people are slowly becoming more accepted, but it's not an overly easy road for any of us. It is possible that you will lose friends. They aren't worth your time. It is possible you will be judged. It will be by people too ignorant to have opinions worth hearing.
The good news is, high school is complete shit. It's a tiny environment with the same people constantly and there is no escape. It's something of a pressure cooker for social issues at times.
What this means to you is that whatever you experience in the next two years can and will come at you at an exponentially greater intensity than it will once you're past high school. You go to college or work or whatever after graduation and suddenly if you don't want to be around someone you can avoid them pretty easily most of the time. The bigots, the ignorant, the malicious, they have a harder time getting to you when you can walk out of the room and get a restraining order if they follow you.
Work can still suck occasionally but people have to watch discrimination in the work place so you finally get to enjoy some legitimate protections.
Google "It gets better project" when you have some time, by the way.
Another good thing, this is your business. You aren't required to broadcast your sexuality to others if you don't want to. I would go so far as to say that if you were really uncomfortable coming out in this environment, there would be nothing wrong with you continuing to date guys only while you're in high school and then giving women a shot in college when you can choose your own terms for sharing your identity with others.
That bit's entirely up to you, but I think that this course of action might just seem appealing to you and I thought you should know it's fine if that's your choice.
The important thing here is that you're fine with yourself, whatever flavor your sexual orientation may come in.
Last, don't worry too much about labeling yourself. Gay, bi, straight. You like who you like, you don't like who you don't like. There are an infinite variations of what people like and need. One person might date anyone man or woman but one sex they only like a very specific "type" while the other sex they have a pretty wide range of people who they find attractive. Another person may find themselves only sexually attracted to one sex and both sexually and romantically attracted to the other. Some people can literally fall in love with anyone so long as they meet certain standards of attractiveness.
You're not going to figure it out in that much detail until you've dated around a good bit on both sides. And even then it might change a bit as you get older, for some people it does and others it doesn't.
You're young. You've got plenty of time. So worry less about labels and more about just going out and having fun when you can manage it.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half, and we have been having unprotected sex for a while now and haven't had condoms. However I am on birth control, and have been on it for a year, and never missed a pill, take it at the same time every day, last week my mom wasn't around to remind me in the morning to take it, so for a week I was taking it later maybe around 12-4pm... I have had symptoms like...nausea, and moodiness, (which I am usually both...just a LOT more lately) I have had constipation which I never get, a nose bleed I have never had before (I've heard that it could be a sign of being pregnant) and white discharge. It is too soon to take a test. Do you think I could be pregnant? (link)
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Wait until 7 days after your period arrives or is supposed to arrive and take a test. You can in fact get a light period and still be pregnant if it's the cycle you got knocked up on.
If the first test is negative, wait another 7 days and take another one. If that's negative too you're probably in the clear period or no period.
If either of them is positive go to a doctor, but you're probably pregnant. False positives are almost unheard of without significant hormone affecting drugs and false negatives do happen on very rare occasion.
Oh, and take the tests immediately after you wake up. The first bathroom visit of the day is the one that's going to have the most hormones in it, having built up over the night.
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so my friend of 14 years(she's 22, i'm 19), is trying to have a baby with her fiance, but he isnt able to "make good swimmers"(best way i can think to put it) and so she turns to me and asks for mine, since we've been friends since like, grade school. being a good friend, i think that i'd just donate, BUT here's where my question comes in. she wants to have in naturally, so like intercourse. she's talked it with her fiance and so have i, and he's totally fine with it, but i feel kinda...awkward. should i go through with it? cuz she says i'm her only choice for it (link)
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Just to give you fair warning, not every jurisdiction in the US provides legal protections for natural insemination aka having sex with someone in order to be a donor.
You'll want to check your state and make sure that you've got the proper forms filled out ahead of time if you decide to go through with this. You don't want to end up in a situation where they have problems and you end up getting dragged in as the legally unprotected father.
It's understandable you'd feel awkward. Knocking up your friend's fiance isn't exactly within the normal bounds of a friendship. If you're her only choice you could do a normal sperm donation and tell her that's the only way you'll do it. If they're truly serious about having kids, well doing it properly through a sperm bank is a cost they should be willing to bear.
If you do end up sleeping with her make sure you figure it all out ahead of time. I mean, is your friend going to be in the room or waiting out in the living room or something? Keep in mind that some couples will have sex for months before they conceive. You'd need to be seeing her pretty regularly. A normal couple who is trying to conceive might chart ovulation and have sex once a day from like three days before up until her period starts every month (in addition to whatever regular sex) when actively trying to have a baby together.
And, do you guys want to enjoy each other? Do you want to just, well, mount up and finish as fast as possible? Do you kind of need it to be more than just business like? What about the two of them? Which would she perfer? Which would your friend? Is their relationship capable of handling a situation where you come over and make passionate love to his wife every day for a week one week out of the month? Can you both manage that without developing an emotional attachment to each other? Trying to make a baby is a pretty intimate experience, and if you like her enough to enjoy knocking her up you're not going to be done having sex with her when she gets pregnant. How are you going to handle that?
I guess what I'm getting at is don't be stupid. Go sperm bank or go home.
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I am an 18 year old female, freshman in college. At my school, probably like every other school, we have this facebook page for you to go on and anonymously post who you think is cute or who you would like to date. Well, in my english class all year, I thought this kid was cute, I catch him looking at me sometimes but that's it. He's very shy, he doesn't talk much in class, matter of fact-I don't either, though really. Anyway, I posted on the facebook page, though and said that I think he is very handsome and that I would date him in a heartbeat. He commented back and said "come forward person who posted this." So, I was thinking about waiting until the last day of class and I was going to message him and tell him that it was me or something along the lines of "okay, I'm coming forward." I want to do it the last day of classes, which is May 17th by the way, because we have a twelve week summer. In case he doesn't feel the same way, I won't feel like an idiot sitting in class knowing that he knows and knowing that he said no. Plus the summer will give him time to think, he'll be able to message me if he wants. But, I'm kind of a chicken and I'm not sure if I will be able to do it or not. So, I guess I'm asking for guys and girls alike for their opinions. Would you want me to tell you? Would you think I was weird? What would you do? Thanks! (link)
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Really? You've got 12 days left. Make the most of them. Waiting till the last day of class... for all you know class ends and he's gone. So you tell him but you can't see him again for about 3 months?
Tell him now. However you want. Send a message, walk up to him, whatever you can muster up the courage for.
Why does he need time to think? What exactly is he going to think about? Not much, if you wait till the last day.
If you told him now you might be able to fit in a few dates before the end of term and actually give him a significant amount of things to think about.
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I Have Friends That Were G Strings ThaT Are 10 Or 8.so is it still o.k to wear them? Cause people complain about them and realy. There being baby's over some one wearing underwear -_-. But i was just asking.
:3Noah:3 (link)
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It is if you're of an age to take them off and have sex.
8-10 year olds don't qualify.
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I am a female, 21 years old, and up until about a month ago I have never really viewed a woman in a sexual way. I love penis! Butttt I met a really beautiful lesbian who was also kind of masculine (long hair but dressed like a guy..jeans, tshirts, backwards hat) ..anyways, I dig it. She got me very curious. So I was like okay, maybe I am a little bicurious about certain females. I say certain females because I am not in any way attracted sexually to my girl friends or girls I associate with. Kinda just this one girl. We hung out again a couple of times a mutual friend's wedding and we kind of had to be more reserved because we were in public but we are starting to text more and more. I actually kind of think about her a lot, which is weird for me.
My first question is, have any other females experienced this and how should I approach it? She is digging me and makes that known but I am also kinda digging her back... am I just curious or would I be able to go through with hanging out with her alone?
She asked me to her hotel room the couple of nights that we were staying out of town for that wedding and I declined. I just was kinda nervous. One of those nights she stayed in my room really late and we spooned and made out but that was it.
Next question, what should I expect sexually? She knows that I haven't even hooked up with a girl like that but I am still nervous. I don't want to seem inexperienced because I am very experienced and like to try new things sexually. Should I go through with this? Since she is more the "butch" and I more the "lipstick" type lesbian, does that mean she is going to fulfill the duties of a man (i.e. eating me out and playing with my pussy, etc) because honestly i wouldn't know what to do if she wanted me to go down on her or finger her.... I just am not down with that.
ANY advice in this category would be awesome.
THanks!!! (link)
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Uhh yeah you're going to have to play with her too if you two have sex. Even if she's got toys to really take on the masculine role here she's not a guy with a penis which can reach orgasm by fulfilling said masculine role.
Saying you don't want to go down on her or finger her is kind of like saying you want to have sex with a guy without ever actually letting him penetrate you. It doesn't really work.
I mean if you don't want to, don't. But don't jump into bed with a girl one on one intending to never touch her intimate places.
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19/f
DO NOT JUDGE ME WHILE READING THIS. Long story short my ex-boyfriend and I broke up from September to November. We had been dating for a year when we departed. We started getting back together and working on our relationship in mid-November and I got pregnant. I had my abortion in December. He wasn't there for me at all, the next three weeks I was crying about it by myself. He got drunk and didn't know how to deal with it, because it was our "school break" untill the spring semester. I feel deep down inside there's a piece of me that will never love him the way I use too. He's apologized so many times to me but I get my period every month now and I just cry because I hate what happened between us. I hate myself sometimes too. He loves me more then anything else and I just don't know sometimes. Sometimes I look at other guys and wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. This is not my first relationship, but yes unfortunately my first abortion. I've dated two other guys one for three years the other for a year. I'm young and I need serious advice. I know it sounds bad. When were with each other were always happy and we barely fight anymore. I just don't know. (link)
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Leave it behind you.
If you two were going to be able to work out, that time is not now. Forcing it now isn't going to work.
Tell him you don't see him the same way, that you'd like to stay in touch but only if he can handle being friends and not dating. Tell him he's got time, or if he needs it can just be over.
Maybe someday in the future things could work. Right now, with what you're dealing with, you need a fresh slate.
Also see a therapist because you should not hate yourself for the decision you made and I think something like that is best addressed by a professional.
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