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Should I tell him or keep him guessing?

Question Posted Friday May 3 2013, 3:21 pm

I am an 18 year old female, freshman in college. At my school, probably like every other school, we have this facebook page for you to go on and anonymously post who you think is cute or who you would like to date. Well, in my english class all year, I thought this kid was cute, I catch him looking at me sometimes but that's it. He's very shy, he doesn't talk much in class, matter of fact-I don't either, though really. Anyway, I posted on the facebook page, though and said that I think he is very handsome and that I would date him in a heartbeat. He commented back and said "come forward person who posted this." So, I was thinking about waiting until the last day of class and I was going to message him and tell him that it was me or something along the lines of "okay, I'm coming forward." I want to do it the last day of classes, which is May 17th by the way, because we have a twelve week summer. In case he doesn't feel the same way, I won't feel like an idiot sitting in class knowing that he knows and knowing that he said no. Plus the summer will give him time to think, he'll be able to message me if he wants. But, I'm kind of a chicken and I'm not sure if I will be able to do it or not. So, I guess I'm asking for guys and girls alike for their opinions. Would you want me to tell you? Would you think I was weird? What would you do? Thanks!

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christinac1986 answered Monday May 6 2013, 7:55 pm:
Go for it! Life's too short to be hiding behind the bush just to look kool. This guy (if he's intelligent at all as much as he's good looking) will think wow this chic digs me sweet! If he's stuck up and laughs at you then he's a jerk and you're not the weird one HE WILL BE. As I've learned, honestys the best policy and you'll feel much better when you admit it was you, regardless of how he chooses to act on it. Good luck! ;)

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WittyUsernameHere answered Sunday May 5 2013, 2:20 am:
Really? You've got 12 days left. Make the most of them. Waiting till the last day of class... for all you know class ends and he's gone. So you tell him but you can't see him again for about 3 months?

Tell him now. However you want. Send a message, walk up to him, whatever you can muster up the courage for.

Why does he need time to think? What exactly is he going to think about? Not much, if you wait till the last day.

If you told him now you might be able to fit in a few dates before the end of term and actually give him a significant amount of things to think about.

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lightoftruth answered Saturday May 4 2013, 4:24 pm:
I like the idea of it but you'd still be making him wait awhile. So he could probably brush it off as a joke or lose interest.
Maybe tell him a few days before the last day. Then at least he can see you in class and see what he thinks. Then approach him and see what happens.
If a guy did that, yes I'd want them to tell me because if not, I'd feel embarrassed and thought someone was playing a joke. I wouldn't think you were weird.
I think the best thing to do is tell him a couple days before the last day. Even if it might be awkward if he wasn't interested, it would be worth it because if you wait till the last day, you won't be able to talk in person until he messages you on Facebook.

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sizzlinmandolin answered Saturday May 4 2013, 2:40 pm:
I like your idea. Think about it from his point of view for a minute though. You're planning on waiting kind of a long time. He might lose interest between now and then. If he's no longer really thinking about it or in suspense, you might not get a reaction that you'd like. You've got him excited and interested right now and you don't want to lose that. He may even find someone else between now and then because you've boosted his confidence. My advice to you is to post on the anonymous site again and say that you're going to reveal yourself on the last day of school. That way, he'll be really anticipating it. It'll also make it hard for you to back out of your plan because if you tell him you're going to reveal it and you don't, you'd probably make him feel really bad. Good luck! :)

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday May 4 2013, 2:15 pm:
There wasn't facebook let alone computers when I was your age but I sure learned to use them to my advantage. Met my current husband on a dating site.
First, ask yourself, did I really mean what I wrote on facebook? I already know the answer is not NO. If no, you could ignore it as just a silly joke played. You meant it, so you'll have to approach him. You say he is as shy as you. You've already had more guts than him to post. He's on pins and needles wanting to know because now maybe he has a chance to date someone and he would feel devastated if no one came forward thinking that someone was playing a cruel joke on him. You have his hopes up,

As shy as both of you are, once you've met, it will still take some time to get to know each other. And start dating, so If it were me, I wouldnt wait. I used to be shy but learned in a step by step easy process how to overcome it. If interested, message me for that info.

Back to shy handsome dude, Yes, type back, "I am coming forward. Look for me, you'll know me when you see me." Then write on a sheet of paper his comment "Come forward person who posted this" and under that, "I am coming forward" Have that paper tucked in loose with school binder and next time you see him, have some tape with you to tape it to the front of your shirt and approach him. You actually don't have to say a word at first, just stand there with a great big smile. The creative way of announcing yourself should break the ice. If he is tongue tied, you could then say, "Remember my message on facebook? Well, it was me and quickly add in before you chicken out, "and I meant it. At this point he should be saying something encouraging. If he is in utter blissful shock and still not saying much which can happen to a person, I said I would date you in a heartbeat....too many heartbeats are ticking by. Sooooo? And leave it hanging. I am sure he will invite you to hang with him and start planning summer. Shy people when offered an opportunity to get used to feeling comfortable around the opposite sex and get to know the innier tickings and workings of their mind are likely to respond to any reasonably nice looking opportunitys that present themselves. But its even more joyfully when its someone they have been eyeing for quite some time.

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Teen2TeenHelp answered Friday May 3 2013, 6:59 pm:
I think you should tell him and I like the idea that you're waiting until the ending of class to tell him. I don't think you should do it exactly around the last day, but a week before classes end, just so you can hint at his reaction of whether or not you would be expecting something to happen in the summer. I would want someone to tell me and no I don't think it's weird either. Sometimes we need a little push to get the message out there.

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