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what is wrong with my gf?
i am 18 year old boy . my gf is 17. i love her immensely and i have promised to marry her once i am financially strong.however every time i want to touch her , hold her hand or kiss her...she pushes me back and turns away.she does not even talk about sex!! when i asked she says that she loves me and she wants closeness but she is SHY??...i really love her a lot and it is 4 years now , and i want to make love to her. i can figure it out that she wants it too , i have gone through her diary secretly but she says that she is too shy to let me touch her private parts or kiss her??? however she agreed to make love soon. guys please give clues on how to approach to her once we are in bed so that she feels comfortable and it is easy for her to come out of her shyness. and also can anyone explain to me this psychology of girls???
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She could possibly just be insecure about herself, I myself am still uncomfortable (at 19) with guys kissing and touching me because I don't see myself in a positive way. You just need to make her feel more comfortable maybe, I don't understand why she wouldn't be after 4 years but it could just be something she's going through. I just recently became shy a few months ago when I was fine before that. No explanation really. As for having sex with you, that shouldn't be your first concern after 4 years, you should have a huge amount of respect for you and like I said you just need to make her comfortable. You have to respect her and be patient. The better she feels about it the sooner it'll happen but pushing her or bringing it up all the time won't make her feel good. Always remember to think with your brain not your penis and remember to respect girls always. Soon enough it'll happen. Good luck in the meantime.
Also, instead of just trying to go for the gold try subtle things like kissing her neck, or lightly rubbing her thigh. Every person gets turned on especially at that age, so maybe shell like it. Or mess around a little but may still not be ready for sex. Patience.
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Break up with her.
You are ready for things she is not. Whatever other compatibility exists between you either she is going to have sex with you before she is ready or you're going to go absolutely nuts waiting respectfully (as you should if you stayed with her) for her to be ready.
4 years...
I'm sorry you invested that much time here. Can't really do anything about it at this point.
This isn't about the psychology of girls it's the psychology of this specific person, your girlfriend. She, specifically, is nowhere near ready for this yet. 4 years without kissing is highly unusual in just about any relationship in a romantic context.
Yeah, she might have some intimacy issues she needs to work out. You can't rush her, it's her shit, she's got to figure it out on her own.
But you're not obligated to hang around while she does figure herself out, either.
That bit's up to you. Stay and be respectful, or go and find a woman to date who is interested in being physically intimate with you.
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I don't really know what there is to understand other than she's not ready for sex or any kind of physical intimacy.
It seems to me she agreed to have sex with you soon because she wants to make you happy. This isn't what she wants. The only way to make her more comfortable with you is to stop asking, stop touching and let her be comfortable with just you. She'll come around when she's ready.
There isn't anything wrong with her. She's shy, and that's it. If she was more comfortable with you, she wouldn't have to be shy so don't push her anymore.
Also, don't ready her diary. That's not the right thing to do.
She won't think the sex you both had was great because when she's not ready, she might even come to regret it. You definitely don't want that to happen.
So just stop asking her to have sex with you, and stop touching her. I'm sure you love her so this shouldn't be a problem.
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Who says there is anything wrong with your girlfriend? You don't need to understand the psychology of girls. You only need to listen to what she's telling you. She's shy, she's seventeen, and she isn't ready for that level of physical intimacy.
What's wrong with you?
You read her diary, which is absolutely wrong and disrespectful.
You are also pressuring a girl who is barely comfortable touching you into having sex with you.
You might not mean to be pressuring her, but its very clear that you are.
Back off. She deserves more respect than you are giving her. She's made it abundantly clear that she is not ready. Although she might have agreed to sex, out of a desire to please you and keep you happy, any sensible man would recognize she is not comfortable.
We can't know WHY she isn't comfortable, but is also doesn't really matter. If she isn't comfortable, for whatever reason, you need to back off and stop pushing for something she is not okay with.
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She may be feeling insecure about herself rather then being shy. On the other hand reading what you wrote, It sounda like you are disrespecting how she feels. Clearly she is just not ready or comfortable. You are pressuring her, You are invading her privacy and you will eventually draw her away from you.
What is so hard to understand? She isn't comfortable with sex.
Respect her or find someone who wants the same thing.
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