DISCLAIMER TIME!: I am not ANY type of licensed medical practitioner. All of my advice is off the top of my head, from personal experience.

Continuing...
There are a bunch of different possible reasons for this, ranging from something mundane and easy to fix like hard stools to something serious like Crohn's disease. Either way, you need to see a doctor. Blood somewhere it isn't supposed to be is a sign that something is wrong!

Has this been going on for awhile?
Has your appetite changed?
Do you get stomachaches?
Have you had any kind of weight gain or weight loss?
Have you noticed a decrease in energy level?
Do you have trouble going to the bathroom?
Is the blood a pink or a brighter red or a darker red? (Pink or brighter red means it's closer to the rectum, darker means it's coming from further up your digestive tract.)
Is there mucous?
Does anything besides the blood look abnormal? (Not that you enjoy staring at that, but take a look.)
Do you have trouble sleeping? (I know this one sounds weird, but sleep (or a lack thereof) can do extremely negative things to the body.)

You NEED to tell your parent or legal guardian. DO NOT let this go untreated. Yes, it is terribly embarrassing, and you may turn beet red, but think about how awful it would be if this really was something serious and it got worse.
Take a deep breath, sit your parent/guardian down and tell him/her exactly what you told us, and that you're scared. Your family would much rather deal with a slightly embarrassing situation than see you sick and sad. The hardest thing to do is watch your child suffer. =(

Note: If you DO have trouble going to the bathroom, try heading to your local drugstore and buying some milk of magnesia, or stool softeners. Take them as instructed and see if it doesn't make a difference.

Note2: Do you take any energy supplements? Too much vitamin B can cause blood in the stool. My ex's brother had that problem. Also, check any medications you're on to see if that's a side effect. You'll probably need a parent's help with this. I can't think of any meds offhand that cause this, but there are some out there, I'm sure.

Please take care of yourself! Please go see a doctor!

Siren

You're right, we're not doctors, but I can tell you this:

Blood can indicate an infection. It could also be irritation in your throat from dryness - I dunno where you are, but it's really cold where I am - so make sure you're drinking a lot of liquids (water is best. Tea and coffee and anything else with caffeine are diuretics, and actually dry you out more). Do you snore when you sleep? The vibration + winter dryness could cause cracked tissue and blood.

***I HIGHLY suggest you go to a doctor, ASAP. Like, tomorrow, even, because blood coming out of somewhere it isn't supposed to come out of is usually a bad sign; however, medicine has improved greatly from the days when coughing up blood meant death. If it is an infection, a simple round of antibiotics could cure it.

Don't panic, but DEFINITELY see your primary care physician. Yes. Go. Now.

Siren

I agree with Adviceman49. You DEFINITELY need to follow up with that doctor.

I do want to add, though, because you say it happens no matter what you do to your eyes (or don't do), that it could be a histamine reaction - that is, it could be allergies. I had my eye do something similar once, and that's what it was.

Try some over-the-counter Benadryl and see if that doesn't make some kind of a difference. If it does, you need to talk to your primary care physician about starting some kind of allergy medication.

**Just a disclaimer: none of us are doctors here, including me. I can only make suggestions based on my own life experience.

Hope this helps somehow. Good luck, feel better.

Siren

I have trouble waking up in the morning, too. I can only tell you what I do, because I haven't been late to anything yet this year...
* I use my cell phone as an alarm, and I put a bunch of metal songs on it (Disturbed, Metallica, Slipknot, etc), and I set it to play those random songs. Not the most pleasant way to wake up, but it works...

* My mom is awake much earlier than I am, so I ask her to call me about an hour before I have to leave. Answering the phone forces me to function, and eventually, it helps wake me up. I don't live with my parents anymore, either, so it gives us a chance to catch up when we're both free.

* There are alarms out there (try www.thinkgeek.com) that you have to chase around for a couple of minutes, or that make you solve a math problem before they'll turn off, or something. Those would get you moving, AND get your brain working. I'm not sure how much money you want to spend, but that site is generally pretty reasonable.

Hope these gave you a couple of ideas, good luck!

Siren

My biggest issue is that he's:

1)Lazy - he's 24, lives with his family (who hate me), and WON'T get a job. He doesn't see why he should, when his mother gives him everything.

2)Selfish - when I try to bring up an issue to him, or when I talk about my problems, somehow it turns into something about him, his problems, and his feelings, instead of mine.

Siren

Ooh, I was in a similar situation, except I was the lead in the play, I had to kiss another guy, and my boyfriend at the time was in the audience whenever possible. I felt terrible at first knowing that I had to kiss that guy, but my boyfriend's acceptance of it as just what it was - a stage kiss - helped immensely.
It can be difficult to deal with the situation from either side, but keep in mind that it's not him kissing the other girl, it's one character kissing another. It would happen whether it was your guy or not. I'm sure he's not such a fan of doing it, especially because I'm sure he knows it bothers you, but there's no way around it in a performance.
As far as hating the other girl, I can imagine how it would hurt to be a constant witness to that act, but be comforted in the fact that you ARE seeing it - it's not behind your back, it's not something he would do if he wasn't the lead in the play, and it definitely wasn't his idea.
I asked my high school sweetheart at one point how he dealt with it, and he said he just reminded himself that after the play, I was still his.
Hopefully some of this will help you out.

Siren

Not a good idea.

You didn't provide your age, height, or weight, so there's no way for me to tell you if you'd lose the weight quickly. Going on what I generally know, however...
5-6 pounds is a lot of weight to lose even in a month, unless you're seriously overweight. Yes, your weight can fluctuate a few pounds due to water weight gained/lost, but what you're proposing is ridiculous, and extremely unhealthy.
Even if you could lose the weight, you wouldn't keep it off. You could try pretty much any unhealthy fad diet and you might lose a pound or two. If you're anywhere near your ideal body weight, though, you'll be out of luck.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just speaking from experience. I tried fad diets in the past. Now I run at least a mile every day and eat healthily, and over the past two months, I've lost maybe two pounds...but that's because I'm 5'4" and 120, with a lot of muscle mass. I'm pretty much at my ideal weight. Makes it hard for my body to lose any extra.

If you want to look good for your date, drink lots of water, don't overload yourself with carbs, stay away from refined sugar/sucrose, and hit the treadmill for 20 minutes per day (provided you're not an avid exerciser. If you are, try upping your cardio by 5 or 10 minutes, or doing a different type of cardio). You won't lose 5-6 pounds in a short time by doing these things, but you'll feel thinner and stronger. Even better, if you can keep it up for longer, you might eventually lose the weight you want, AND you'll keep it off.

Please be healthy and smart about this.

Siren

Congrats for getting through all of that on your own. That's some big stuff to work through, and takes a LOT of willpower. I'm impressed. I'm sure you're (beginning to be) aware, though, that there comes a time in everyone's life when they just can't do it alone anymore. I'm all for therapy. Are you 18 or over? 'Cause if you are, legally, the therapist and his/her office aren't allowed to tell your parents anything without a signed release from YOU stating that they're allowed to speak with them.
However, if/when your parents receive the bill(s) from your insurance company, I'm almost certain that counseling will be on it. Your parents will find out if insurance is covering you for mental health services.
Or, as the first advicenator said, check your school. I know mine offers therapy at $12 per session for enrolled students.
The school-based therapy you could do silently, without your parents finding out, but you really should consider involving them. I can almost guarantee that they'd rather you get help if you're struggling than continue to struggle and not talk to anyone. You don't feel comfortable going to your parents for help? That's fine. All the more reason to try therapy. An outsider's opinion and suggestions are often easier to stomach than family's.
Yes, starting therapy can be difficult. It's never easy to open up to someone new, which is why it's important to find a therapist/counselor that you like and can connect with. Unfortunately, it might mean that you have to meet a few different ones before you're comfortable.
Be comforted in the fact that seeking help for handling life is not uncommon in this day and age, and is often commended. You're aware that you're struggling, and your first instinct is to seek help. This is a GOOD thing.
In your shoes, if I REALLY didn't want to involve my parents, I think I would try my school first. If it's unavailable for whatever reason, or you don't like the therapists/counselors there, THEN you sit your parents down and say, "Mom, Dad, I'm having some serious issues, and I'd really like to get help for them. I tried [insert college here]'s therapy program, but it's not working for me. I'd really like you to help me find somewhere else to go."
If you flat-out ask them for help, they'll jump on the chance. Parents want to be involved in their child's life, even if it's just to help find the right therapist. Let them help you help yourself.
If you want someone to talk to, you can IM me at SirenCytherea on AIM. I can't legally be your therapist, but I can certainly give you some helpful pointers. =)
If I don't hear from you, I wish you strength. You'll get where you need to be.

Siren

Sia is right, aside from "I'm at a lost, agust twelveth." Then again, I'm not sure he knew what he was writing at that point...unless he meant "I'm at a loss, August twelfth."

I have to expand/explain further 'cause I'm excited I figured it out - the vowels have been changed to the number of the order in which they appear in the alphabet: A E I O U and sometimes Y. That is, 1 2 3 4 5 and sometimes 6. Anywhere there's a 1, it's an A. Anywhere there's a 2, it's an E, etc.
Hope we helped you, and hopefully you'll be able to decode future messages. =)

Siren

Just wondering, did you recently switch to Yaz from something else?
I was on Yaz for awhile and the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I had been on Yasmin28 before for years, but switched because of insurance.
I'm not a doctor, or anything like that, but it might be too low a dose for you. Call your gyno ASAP and let him/her know what's going on - he/she might be able to come up with a different pill for you to try.

Good luck!

Siren

Hey

I have to tell you, the site rules state that we're not allowed to give step-by-step instructions as far as sexual acts are concerned, because there are 13-year-olds here.

I can, however, direct you here:
http://www.clitical.com/sex-tutorials/oral-sex/fellatio.php

This is a great site, and it should answer some (if not all) of your questions, and then some.

Just remember, have fun with it.

Siren

What he really needs is to be in counseling. Schizophrenia is manageable with the right combination of medication. I understand that you love him and want to be with him, but in this condition, he isn't in any shape to be in a relationship. It has nothing to do with you, but if his mental illness is as of yet untouched by doctors, he's gonna have some serious trouble connecting with anyone. He has some serious misconceptions about what makes a person strong and what makes a person weak, yes, but that's what he believes. Without counseling, he'll never come out of it.

I suggest you tell him what you just told us, and let him know that you're worried about him, and you think he should seek help. Alienating the people around him will only make his paranoia worse. You don't have to let him walk away from you. Follow him (in an emotional sense, anyway). Talk to him about how counseling could help him. Let him know that addressing his problems is a sign of strength - only really strong people can admit they have a problem, and get the help they need to fix it. Weak people are the ones who hide from everyone and everything.
If you think he'd respond to that, of course. But do try to convince him. I convinced my guy to go into counseling, and he's still thanking me.
If you have faith in this guy, don't give up on him. Stay strong, convince him to be strong, too.

Keep smiling. Things will work out.

Siren

I got my cute winter thing at Rue 21. It depends on what you're looking for, though. I suggest you ask the pool of people here. You might have better luck - fashion isn't listed as one of my main categories for a reason.

Good luck!

Siren

I'm sure you're aware, cutting yourself in any way is really bad, but with your NAILS? Hello, infection! Please at least pick something you can sterilize...

I can give you a few tips and suggestions:

First thing you need to do as far as that's concerned is be aware of when you get these urges. When that happens, also be aware that you are not a slave to your urges. You can control them, that's part of what makes you human. I can understand the frustration and the desire to feel something solid, and the endorphins that cutting actually produces, but that is NOT the way to go.
Cutting is like a drug, and it's just as addictive. You need to stop while you still can, and channel your energy into something else. If you really want to do something physical, when you feel like hurting yourself, go for a run instead. That produces endorphins just like cutting, and if you run hard enough, it hurts. Or, if you need sharp pain, keep a rubber band around your wrist and snap it instead. That won't leave scars, and your brain will have a similar reaction to that as it does to the cutting.

But, that's just one temporary solution. If you feel like you're losing your mind with stress like this, and you're aware that you're in a hole, you MUST seek counseling. We on this site can give you little suggestions, but in the end, we can't even help facilitate change because we're so disconnected from you. You need someone you can talk to on a weekly basis - or even bi-weekly, who you can connect with, who can help you climb out of your hole.

You can IM me at SirenCytherea on AIM if you want someone to talk to a little more, but you HAVE to seek active therapy in some way. The human contact makes a huge difference. If you do decide to contact me, try to IM more than once so I know you're not spam. As far as seeking counseling, I suggest you call your insurance company and ask if they can recommend an outpatient mental health facility near you.

I know you know that this is no way to live. That's why you reached out to us. Help yourself by finding someone to actively help you.

If I don't hear from you, I wish you good luck and strength. You won't feel this way forever. You'll get through this. =)

Siren

Of course you're going to get a million responses. You're posting an extremely controversial topic. SOMEONE will have their two cents to throw in.

And yes, the rating system here does make people concerned about the reaction to their advice. You're absolutely right, and I agree with you 100%.

But, most people don't have the helping-people-mentality etched into their being. Egos come into play, people want to have control over other people, and that's what a lot of this is about. However, this is a site for QUESTIONS, whether they're geared towards "advice" or whether there's a solid answer, like "no, you shouldn't drink bleach."
Note that it doesn't say "state your problem" when you're posting your question. It says "Ask a question".

Either way, when people post questions on here, they're looking for opinions and an objective set of eyes. I definitely agree that people who actually need help often don't get the volume of answers they need - I don't think any more than two people EVER answer my questions - but you can't control that. It's a fact of human nature that we are lazy. No one wants to go out of their way to answer a question that they don't KNOW the answer to. I don't have a paid account, I don't know what question you asked last, but if people don't know, they don't want to give inappropriate advice, or be incorrect.
The rating/feedback system scares people because OMG, they could get, like, a low rating if their advice sucks! But the problem there is that quite a lot of people give shitty advice. They just answer questions they can answer because if they do that, their rating will be higher, and it's a status.

Just keep in mind that you really can't control what goes on here, unless you are part of the helm, for lack of a better term.

If you're unsatisfied with the type of advice you get, or the number of answers, I suggest you pick specific columnists whose advice you do appreciate, and ask THOSE specific people your question instead.
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't answer everything in the pool because I don't know the answers to everything, nor do I have advice for every situation. I do, however, answer everything that comes to my inbox, or at least direct the asker to another columnist who I think could better suit his or her needs.

Good luck =)

Siren

Awww, I know how you feel. Granted, my college wasn't that far away, but I still changed cities and people. None of my friends from HS went to the college I chose.

Talk to your mom on the phone at least once a day. It helps - if you're close, you can tell her about your day, and she'll be a part of your life that way, and you won't feel so separated from her. Call your friends, too. Leave your instant messenger service on so they can leave you messages, and you can talk to them when you get a chance. At some point, travel out to go see your friends, or have them come up to see you.

This isn't the last time you're going to see the people you care about. They're not GONE, and neither are you. You're just away for awhile. I know it's tough to be alone in an unfamiliar place, but if you can stop crying for awhile, go knock on your neighbors' doors and introduce yourself. I'm sure the last thing you want to do right now is meet people, but the sooner you start to make friends, the sooner you start to feel less alone. =)

Go out to your local on-campus cafe with your textbooks and study for awhile. Just being out among other people might make you feel a little better. And hey, if all else fails, notice someone's book and ask what class they're studying for.

I do strongly suggest getting to know the people around you, though. Introduce yourself to your resident assistant, too. He/she might be your best advocate and could be a good friend. Strike up conversations with people in your classes. I'm sure some people are in a similar situation; you're really not as alone as you feel.

As far as not having the strength, yes you do. You're doing something great, you're furthering your education. You HAVE to force yourself to keep going. Listen to your brain - you're feeling depressed and alone. Therefore, the best thing to do is to not allow yourself to actually BE alone.

Branch out, reach out. Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's the reality. Feeling alone and depressed doesn't always mean BEING alone and depressed...and you can control that.

Chin up, things will get better. Dry your eyes and smile at someone. =)

Siren

In a sentence, you're an intelligent person surrounded by stupidity. I don't mean to sound conceited, but you're not the only smart person out there. There's a pretty simple explanation for this, and it has nothing to do with your obsessive-compulsive tendencies, or the abuse you suffered. But if you're not in psychotherapy, you should consider it. More on that in a second.

Part of this is your own doing: You're over-analyzing the world. You've demystified everything (so you think). Nothing's a puzzle, nothing's new, everything's boring, people are stupid. Where's the fun in that? Where's the LIFE in that?
Part of the beauty is not knowing everything, and believe me, you don't. No one does; no one can.
Anyway, your tendency to overanalyze could be attributed to your obsessive tendencies, but it's pretty characteristic of intelligent people, and cynical people, one of which you have become (that's typical of intelligent people, too). But you need to realize that you have CONTROL over this - you don't have to let it control you.

That being said, let me ask you this: What is the logical reasoning behind allowing yourself to be sucked into this negative spiral? Really think about that one for a minute.

As far as the abuse and negativity in your childhood, it could definitely be a contributor to your present negativity. Many things could be a factor in this, but you CAN overcome this.

Now. You've stated that you're having some serious problems with the lack of happiness that you feel. I'm sure you're aware that something isn't quite right as far as your thought processes go. That being the case, I strongly recommend you seek counseling from a psychologist, NOT a psychiatrist. If you and your psychologist determine that medication could be beneficial to you, then by all means seek out a psychiatrist. But what you need, it seems, is a new perspective - someone to help you think about the world in a different, more positive light. Psychotherapy is THE best way to instigate change and start walking down a mentally healthy path.
Everyone deserves to feel a little bit of happiness, intelligent or otherwise. You don't have to suffer like this, so please do something about it. Give your insurance company a call, find out if you're covered for mental health, and ask if they can recommend any counseling centers near you.

There's hope. =)

Siren

Just FYI, nothing I say can be taken as professional medical advice, as I am not a doctor. I do, however, work with a bunch of them, and I'm familiar with asthma.
If you're having THAT much trouble, you should be on a steroid inhaler, or medicinal steroids. Also, I don't think a nurse at the ER can tell you what's wrong with you, legally.
If you overuse anything, there's a risk of psychosomatic withdrawal. That is, your mind causes your body trouble because psychologically, you need it. I seem to remember having trouble with an inhaler similar to Albuterol when I was little - it made me dizzy. It might just not be the right inhaler for you. There ARE other options, and your doctor should be open to switching you.
However, the symptoms you're describing really don't sound like withdrawal to me. They sound like your body not getting enough oxygen. Therefore headaches, therefore chest pain, and therefore numbness. The headaches could be, but they could also be from oxygen deprivation...you know? These symptoms you're experiencing should ABSOLUTELY NOT be overlooked, and even though you clearly overused your inhaler, these should not be brushed aside as withdrawal.
What other inhaler are you on? If these two aren't working for you, prednisone might be the way to go. The stimulant will help open your airways.
Here's my advice:
You MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST talk to your doctor, and ask about steroid treatment. Like, call the place where he/she works the second you wake up tomorrow. If your doctor isn't available to talk to, tell them to page him/her because you're having some serious problems with your medication and need his/her advice, like, yesterday.
If the other inhaler you're on is a steroid inhaler, ask about prednisone. This problem you're having is SO not okay, and your doctor needs to manage you better. But he/she can't do that unless he/she knows what's going on with you. So open up the lines of communication, and get yourself some help!!!

Siren

Alin75 is right. PLEASE listen to him.

Having had experience with this, I have to add my two cents:
No, don't do it.
You can't lose 20 pounds in a month healthily. The normal rate for healthy weight loss, even in an obese person, is about 2-3 pounds a week. If you aren't obese, 1-2. I've done fad diets - like, ALL of them. I've tried speed diets, I was also anorexic at one point. Now I'm happy, and at a good weight. Losing weight and being healthy is a lifestyle change, and a worthwhile one at that.

You need to retrain your body to absorb nutrients and use the food you put into it more quickly and effectively. Eat small portions 3-4 hours apart. Depending on when you wake up and go to bed, it should amount to 5 or 6 small meals a day. This will kickstart your metabolism. Eat healthy food - low sodium, low in fat, low in sucrose. Fructose and glucose (the sugars in fruit and breads) are fine.

Here are some tips to make healthy food tastier:
Fruits - try nonfat whipped cream on these if they're not sweet enough for you. It'll help kill your sweet craving. And hey, keep some sugar free candies around. That way, if you really just want one, you can have it.
Veggies - Dip is my best friend. As long as you just use the dip for a little flavor, and you're not using your carrot to scoop up as much dip as you can, you don't even have to have fat free dip. Though you can go that route if you like, and it's just as tasty. Also, switch to baked chips. They're not great for you, but they're a little better.
Grains - Whole grains. You need carbs. They keep your body going, they give you energy. Whole grains make your body work harder to digest them, and when your body works harder, you lose weight/inches/fat/etc.
Lean proteins - Eggs, turkey, chicken, fish. Protein bars, protein shakes (be careful with these last two, they're often sugar-laden. You gotta get the ones that are low-carb/low-sugar. Pure Protein bars and shakes are great, and taste great. These are NOT, however, meal replacement bars. You can nibble those as snacks between meals to keep you going, and after workouts.) Protein helps your body build muscle - lean protein = lean muscle, but you HAVE to be working out for that to work. If you don't, the protein will store as fat.
Alin75's right about losing the wrong kind of weight. What you really want is to lose fat, not muscle. Keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat, and you might consider paying more attention to your size than your numbers.
Example: I weigh 120 pounds, and I'm 5'4". But I'm skinny because I run, and I have a lot of muscle. When I was 110 pounds, I was actually bigger because I didn't work out.
That brings me to my next point:
Cardio. Just like Alin75 said, cardio is important. It doesn't mean running, and you can definitely get your heart rate up using an elliptical machine, a wave-walker-thing, stairs, recumbant biking, etc. Cardio burns fat, which is exactly what you want. I won't go into detail with the exercise because it was pretty much covered in the previous answer.
I hope you take these facts to heart.

Good luck.

Siren

I suggest something hand-made with both your names in it. Something like a collage, maybe? It's cheap, it'll mean something to him because you took the time to make it, and it's way more personal than something you could buy.
Like grab a couple magazines and clip out a bunch of pictures or words that sum up your relationship. If you've spent a lot of time in the park together, cut out the word "Park," or a picture of a park bench. Maybe add some of your own photos in there, too.
If you're not into that idea, maybe write him a letter, saying exactly what you want to. He can keep it close by.
I suggest -
*Keep it cheap
*Keep it personal
*Keep it sweet
*Keep it small - ish, so he can actually take it with him.

Or hey, if you have a little money, buy him a bunch of stamps and stationary so you two can write to each other. Everyone secretly loves snail mail. You could actually do that one along with something else like a collage or a photo album or some kind of inside joke. When I was your age and I had a boyfriend, I gave him a rock from the place where we first started talking. It was ridiculous, but I think he still has it.
I hope I've given you a couple ideas.

Good luck!

Siren

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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