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Egotistical.
Advice columnists give advice. This site is not for advice columnists.
Hear me out.
Most people here are concerned about their ratings or how many questions they've answered, to give themselves an illusion of being perfect.
When somebody actually comes along who needs some help, but its a touchy subject that would take too long to answer or might bring down your rating, there are a golden few who actually bother answering. And what if the person who asked really needs some serious help?
But it's safer to stick to your comfort zone, answer the easy questions such as "What color should I die my hair?" and "How do I get free Jonas Brothers tickets?"
For those of you with paid accounts, you can see what question I asked last. And you'll realize that as of right now, only one person answered. One person. And I was sincerely hoping for more guidance and advice because I don't know what else to do.
It seems unless the question is all-out shocking or all-out stupid, a question like mine will fly under the radar. And I'm used to by now flying under the radar. That's why I'm in such a mess with myself.
I'm just getting sick of this. Telling someone which stores carry skinny jeans and how to cheat on a test is not advice. Helping someone through a problem is advice.
Watch me get a million responses to this one.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I hate those questions too, I don't have a paid account but if you send me your question I would be happy to help.
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Of course you're going to get a million responses. You're posting an extremely controversial topic. SOMEONE will have their two cents to throw in.
And yes, the rating system here does make people concerned about the reaction to their advice. You're absolutely right, and I agree with you 100%.
But, most people don't have the helping-people-mentality etched into their being. Egos come into play, people want to have control over other people, and that's what a lot of this is about. However, this is a site for QUESTIONS, whether they're geared towards "advice" or whether there's a solid answer, like "no, you shouldn't drink bleach."
Note that it doesn't say "state your problem" when you're posting your question. It says "Ask a question".
Either way, when people post questions on here, they're looking for opinions and an objective set of eyes. I definitely agree that people who actually need help often don't get the volume of answers they need - I don't think any more than two people EVER answer my questions - but you can't control that. It's a fact of human nature that we are lazy. No one wants to go out of their way to answer a question that they don't KNOW the answer to. I don't have a paid account, I don't know what question you asked last, but if people don't know, they don't want to give inappropriate advice, or be incorrect.
The rating/feedback system scares people because OMG, they could get, like, a low rating if their advice sucks! But the problem there is that quite a lot of people give shitty advice. They just answer questions they can answer because if they do that, their rating will be higher, and it's a status.
Just keep in mind that you really can't control what goes on here, unless you are part of the helm, for lack of a better term.
If you're unsatisfied with the type of advice you get, or the number of answers, I suggest you pick specific columnists whose advice you do appreciate, and ask THOSE specific people your question instead.
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't answer everything in the pool because I don't know the answers to everything, nor do I have advice for every situation. I do, however, answer everything that comes to my inbox, or at least direct the asker to another columnist who I think could better suit his or her needs.
Good luck =)
Siren
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heyy..well i for one only give advice on things i could relate to, or similar experiences i've gone through. if someone needs help with skinny jeans, sure i'll help them, but if someone needs advice about something more serious, im there to help too. im sorry i didnt answer your question, maybe i didnt log on at that time. but if you need advice on anything else...i'll do my best to help..you wont be fly under my radar...
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I don't answer shopping questions.
I don't answer lyrics questions.
I've stopped answering "Could I be pregnant?" questions too.
I don't even try to answer the dumb teenager questions.
I try to stick to the hard ones. The ones where a person actually needs real advice. And you know what happens?
I get screwed.
I have received so many rude feedbacks to questions where I posted actual well thought out advice.
With that in mind, why should I bother answering them anymore? You don't get rude feedback for suggesting the wrong hair dye colour.
Just about any time I've tackled a difficult question (and you'd be surprised how much time, research and effort I put into some of my answers) I've received a horrible, ranting, nasty response. And that's if I get any response at all. Most of the time, the difficult questions are the ones that don't give you a rating or any feedback.
I'm not looking for a pat on the head. I'm looking for appreciation. "Thanks!" would suffice.
That's why people don't answer those tough questions anymore. Because people don't want the tough advice that comes with those tough questions, and they can't handle it. Or because they're too wrapped up in their problems to appreciate help when it's offered.
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