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can you ever love some too much? how would you know if some one is completely happy with you and you're not sufficating them? the person I'm speaking of is my husband and I'm truly in love with him he's my world. can any body help me? thanks.........
I don't believe that there is such a thing as "loving someone too much." I do however believe that there is such a thing as suffocating someone in a relationship.
I can't say whether or not you are. You didn't go into detail. I will say this... One common error I've noticed that both men and women make in relationships... Is that they tend to try to spend every waking moment of spare time together.
Why is this a problem? Because BOTH men and women need time away from each other... Time to be alone and by themselves... Time to be alone with their family... Time to be alone with their friends. There's nothing wrong with this. It's part of maintaining your own individuality and personal autonomy. I've seen couples become so involved in their relationship that they loose that sense of individuality and then problems in the relationship start to occur.
If this is the case with you... Realize that he may need a little time to himself. And then let him have that time. Also realize that when he is by himself... It doesn't mean that he loves you any less or doing anything that he shouldn't be doing. You need to trust him... Because without trust, no relationship can survive.
I would also suggest going to the book store and buying a book called, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," by Dr. John Gray. Excellent book that explains some of the common problems men and women encounter, why they happen, and what to do about it. He also has a slew of other books, all about relationships.
If you have any more questions, please leave me a message in my inbox. I don't have all the answers, but I can at least talk to you and try to help you. ;)
Several times a day I feel something big moving in my abdomen just under my waist line on one side from the center toward the back. I've never had such a thing before. What's going on?
Does it hurt? It might just be a "gas bubble" which can be painful at times... But I really think that you should go see a doctor. It might not be anything serious, but you don't want to risk it.
One of my closest friends told me something about themselves, and it's like, really dark, most people wouls stop being friends with another because of this.
But, I accept it, she's still my friend, who i would do anything for.
She's afraid I'm lying about accepting it because her Ex-BF said he did then broke up with her a few months later, calling her an inhumane monster without a trace of a soul.
So she's afraid I'm going to do the same.
I've known this Person for almost 10 years now, she got me through some of the toughest times of my life, and for a logn time, we were each others only friend, I lvoe her like family, and I'm not sure how to tell her how much her friendship means to me, and How to convince her of the truth; That I still See her as an amzing beautiful person, And i'm always going to there for her.
I would like to commend you for being a true friend. You are an amazing, beautiful person. :D
As for your friend... I can understand how she would have a difficult time trusting you with her secret. Even when we really love and trust someone... It's hard for us to trust people with some things just because of our past experiences. But I think that once some times passes, and she realizes that you're sticking with her through thick and thin, she'll realize your different from the person that's betrayed her.
Until then, if you want to try and help her put her mind at ease, try writing her a letter. Tell her what you just told us... Tell her that you love her like family, that nothing she's done in the past will cause you to think less of her... That you know she's amazing and beautiful, and that you're going to be there tomorrow. Tell her that you understand that she's afraid, but that she has to trust you for your friendship to survive. Remind her of all the great things she's done for you... Tell her WHY you think she's amazing and beautiful. Then give her that letter and let her read her by herself so she can really think about it.
It's going to be okay. ;)
my bff got a tattoo when she was 6. i never knew they could give tattoos to a six year old. its thorns tied in a knot and is on her lower back. she asked for a tattoo and her parents just brought her. shes was pretty strong. but is it ok to get a tattoo at 6. could they give tattoos to 6 year olds. her parents picked the thorns on her back/butt does that mean something.
It is illegal for a minor (anyone under the age of 18) to get a tattoo... Unless a legal guardian signs a form of consent.
So... They've done nothing illegal. I have to wonder how wise it was for her parents to allow her to get a tattoo just because she asked at the tender age of six though.
As for the knot of thorns... I'm not sure if it's supposed to be symbolic or not. Thorns are usually associated with Christianity because during the crucifixtion of the Christ he wore a crown made of thorns. So... If her family is Christian, it could have something to do with that. On the other hand, knots are symbolic of the earlier Celtic religions... You have to remember that symbols mean different things to different people. The best way to find out if something is symbolic and what it means to that person is just to ask. If you're really curious you might even be able to ask her parents. I have to say that they sound like pretty open-minded, unconvential people so I don't think they would mind you asking, "Is her tattoo supposed to be symbolic? What does it mean?" But if you don't feel comfortable asking, just don't.
tonight i went to a friend's house for a little while, and my mom couldn't find the house to come pick me up even though i kept telling her how to get there. she kept yelling at me and when she finally got there, she started screaming at me more. when i got in the car she started flipping out telling me i couldn't do this anymore, and i was like "yup." and she turned around and hit me for basically agreeing with her. i didn't even do anything wrong but of course, everything i do is forbidden & dumb.
it's like my brother can do no wrong but when i do something they flip out. when i get home, the argument escalated & i basically told her that if she ever put her hands on me again i'd call the cops on her. i'm 16 years old, and she treats me like i'm 5. me and my mom used to get along but lately she's just been a huge bitch and i'm starting to hate her. my bags are packed and i'm ready to leave..what should i do?
Please don't run away. Because running away never solves the problem. It can even create a lot of new problems that are much worse.
I don't know what your mother is going through right now. Maybe she's really stressed out. I can't say whether or not her behavior is abusive. I can't because I only have a couple of paragraphs to read.
If you believe that you're suffering abuse... Seek outside help. Talk to a teacher, go see your schools guidance counselor... If there is a family member that you can talk to, talk to them. You need the help of someone you know you can trust.
What do you do when your friend makes a big life choice and you think to yourself, "Wtf? She's going to hurt herself so much!"? What do you do when your friend asks for your advice, you name the pitfalls you can see and give her suggestions on how to avoid or lessen them, but she goes ahead and makes a probably hurtful decision anyway? What do you do when your friend makes a decision and you are both excited for her but also aware that it probably won't end well? What do you do when your friend can see the pitfalls in front of her but doesn't do anything to avoid them?
You warn your friend... Gently. When they fail to listen... Or listen but can't help themselves... You watch them "bang their head up against the wall." And once they fall apart... You help them pick up the pieces. You offer your shoulder for them to cry on... And your hand for them to hold...
And when they do it again... You shake your head and shrug your shoulders... Perhaps nag them a little though you know they won't listen... When giving advice gets old... You just shut up if you're tired. Because they are who they are, and they're going to do what they're going to do and there's not much more you can do about it...
Except to accept them as perfectly imperfect and love them unconditionally... Because that's just what friends do.
I feel really awkward when people ask me about my religion and stuff because i'm agnostic and don't think there is a way to prove if god is real or not. I really don't want to tell my friends that because most of them are really religious and i'm scared they wouldn't like me if I did. Why do people think it's such a big deal if you don't believe in god? I don't know if I should tell them or not.
I do not support organized religion. When I tell people what I believe I receive various reactions... Typically the aforementioned reactions fall into one of these catagories...
a.) "I agree."
b.) "I disagree... But I believe that you are entitled to your opinion and have no desire to convert you. Let's just agree to disagree."
c.) "You're going to hell. The thought of you suffering eternal damnation disturbs me so much that I'm going to try to convert you... Or at least nag you about the topic incessantly."
d.) "You're going to hell... And I really don't care. But you're lack of faith disturbs me, so I'm going to stop talking to you."
Why do people feel this way? Well... Everyone is different so the answer varies from person to person. For some... Your beliefs are unfamiliar and they are unable to relate. Humans have the tendency to fear what they do not understand... So because they can't relate to you, they are uncomfortable around you. For others... It's the need to be "right." We humans have another odd tendency... We want to be perfect. (Even though we know it's impossible.) And part of being perfect is being "right." The fact that you are saying that they aren't "right" infuriates them because they interpret your beliefs as a personal attack (you're accusing them of being "wrong" and thus imperfect) or an attack against the religion that they associate themselves with. And for others... It's fear. They believe what they believe so strongly that they really do believe you are going to hell... And the thought terrifies them. Or just terrified that anyone can believe as you and NOT be afraid.
Either way... It doesn't really matter. Like you said... No one can prove that God exists... No one knows the answer. We never will... All we can do is believe. But believing is your decision. And you are entitled to believe as you will.
So don't be afraid to be an independent thinker. And don't be afraid to be yourself. Even if that means that you and your friends have some akwards conversations. Even if your friends aren't your friends anymore. Because if they can't accept you as you are... They weren't very good friends to begin with. You're probably better off without them.
I know the prospect of losing your friends might sound scary. But try not be afraid. Because you are going to meet other people that share your beliefs... Or who are at least big enough to agree to disagree. And until you do... You're not alone.
And it sounds to me like part of your problem is that you feel like you aren't being true to yourself. While I suggest being true to yourself... I will also tell you that being honest doesn't mean that you have to advertise your belief system. Being honest is just that... Being honest with yourself, and being honest with the people that care about you. The people that care about you will be able to handle to your honesty... And the people who can't handle it probably didn't really care.
If you're looking for a way to approach the topic... Who said that you have to? If you don't feel comfortable approaching the topic... Don't. And if your friends approach the topic and you still don't feel comfortable... That's okay. You could just say... Well... The truth. "No offense, but I don't feel comfortable discussing my personal beliefs." Just as you are entitled to believe as you wish, you are equally entitled to say that you just...don't want to talk about it.
Chin up. ;)
Can someone please tell me an inexpensive way to get rid of all these zits? I am 30 years old & I have pimples like crazy. I have spent countless hours & way too much money on all these face washes & creams that don't do anything. I am also allergic to benzoyl peroxide...the main ingredient in most acne products. Thanks.
Run to the nearest dermatologist. I know that suggesting a doctor may sound excessive or expensive... But it's not, and you'll actually save a lot of money and time in the long run. A dermatologist will be able to tell you what you should use on your skin and give you prescription medication which is more effective than anything that you can buy over the counter. Most of the time the products that they suggest are easy to find and actually very affordable. And you might want to request a generic drug if they write you a prescription... It's just as good as the name brand but a lot cheaper.
(22, F)- I've been going out with a guy for a little over a month now. I feel comfortable enough letting him lick/touch my breasts. But that's as far as I want to take things at this point. The other day I let him go 2nd base, and of course we were both worked up and 'in the moment.' I know that we'll both want to take things further, but I'm not comfortable enough to let that happen just yet.
I'd like to hear from guys/girls: what kind of torture is it for a guy to have a girl who will only go 2nd base for a while? I mean, I can imagine what's going on in his mind, wondering,"when is it going to happen?"
Again, I'm content with the level we're at, but guys I think can be different in that sense (not that I don't want certain things.. I want to know him a little more).
I commend you for your sensibility.
It's okay for you to want to wait and get to know him better. Actually... It's very wise. If you feel that you should discuss this with him.. Then go ahead. I don't need to tell you what to say, I'm sure you'll figure it out all by yourself. ;) Just be honest and stick to your principles.
I would also like to mention that real men will wait. Trust me... I know.
I've heard that guys like it when a girl isn't always available to go out.. when he calls, for example, she's not always available to go out, or at least pretends not to be. WHat's your opinion on this?
"Hard to Get..." Is just a game. I've never been into games... And most of the guys that I have dated appreciated my ability to be direct and honest. Several even stated that they found my approach to be "refreshing."
Really... When you're dating... They key is not to appear desperate. Why? Because being desperate is often associated with being overly needy and emotionally unstable. When a guy meets a girl and he picks up on the desperate vibe, he automatically thinks, "Psycho-chick."
A girl that isn't desperate is capable of taking care of herself. She doesn't need his approval or his permission. She has a life of her own. She may want him to be a part of her life, but she will never make him the center of her universe. For example, the non-desperate chick does not wait by the phone, and she does not put her life on hold for him. If her friends want to have a girls night out and she makes plans... And at the last minute her guy decides he wants to see her, NDC will say, "I'm sorry. I'd love to spend time with you but I've all ready made plans with my friends tonight." A desperate chick would ditch her friends to spend time with aforementioned guy. A non-desperate chick would just reschedule.... Because hey, her man's important... but so are her friends.
So... My advice is... Don't worry about playing hard to get or acting like someone that you aren't. Just be you. :D Because really... YOU are who he's dating, YOU are who he's trying to get to know... YOU can not hide who YOU are... He's going to figure out who YOU are eventually. And if he doesn't like YOU... He's a loser and doesn't deserve you. Rejection may hurt... But rest assured that just because one moron doesn't like you, doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other guys out there that think YOU are perfect just the way YOU are. And those are the guys that YOU want to be with. So... Go find that guy. Don't waste your time with the losers.
I've been going out with this guy for a little bit; a few days ago we hung out and he said he'd call to plan something out for today (Sunday). He didn't call the past few days, neither have I..but he just left me a message that he might have to cancel plans.I can't go out today..but I don't have a good feeling about this- he hasn't kept in touch for a few days, and now he's cancelling. I just have a feeling that I shouldn't make a big deal about him, that he just takes me for granted.
What do you think about all of this? In case it matters, I'm 22. F.
Sigh... Okay. Allow me to put some common myths to rest.
When a guy likes you... He won't cancel. If he does cancel, he'll have a really good excuse. A really good excuse is NOT, "I'm busy." "I'm busy," is the most frequently used excuse by every man on the planet... And it's a load of crap. Trust me... If he likes you, he'll MAKE the time.
And when a guy likes you... He WILL call.
I know because I have dated quite a bit. And you can bet that my boyfriend doesn't treat me the way this guy treats you.
I know the thought that he doesn't like you might hurt... But don't let it. If he doesn't like you... It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. You're fabulous. Why would you want to date a guy that clearly can't realize this fact? Wouldn't you rather date a man that does?
So... My advice is... Stop wasting your time with this guy and go find a guy that will treat you like the princess that you really are. ;) And... Run to the bookstore and buy "He's Just Not That Into You," by Greg and Liz. It's a book of practical dating advice that will make your life so much easier. Promise.
This guy I've been dating was supposed to call me to see a movie today. He left a message earlier saying he had to cancel, and to call him back. Fair enough. So he called back just now, saying he as at the movie with his friends. I feel disrespected. Why would he just cancel on me, only to go out to the SAME movie with his friends?
That was very inconsiderate.
You know... Some people on this site might suggest that you talk to the guy... Tell him how you feel... From my wealth of dating experience... I'd like to say...
No.
The truth is... It sounds like this guy is "just not that into you." If he was... He wouldn't have cancelled to go see the same flick with his friends. If he was into you, he would have been spending time with you... not acting like a jerk.
My advice is... Drop him. He's not worth wasting your words on, nor your time. Don't call him, and if he calls you... Tell him that his actions were very inconsiderate and that you don't have time to waste waiting by the phone for him to call. You're not being rude, you're being honest. Then... Date someone else. Someone that values your time enough to cancel for a legitemate reason.
Also... Run to your local bookstore and buy a book called, "He's Just Not That Into You," by Greg and Liz. It's practical, honest dating advice from a normal guy that will take a lot of the guess work out of your interactions with the opposite sex. Every single woman venturing into the dating world needs that book!
Okay so...I dont think im Preganent but my mind is like telling me That theres a possibilty i am from masturbation?? Im like uhh ur retarded because you havent had sex with anyone!! Ya know? SO i havent gotten my period and ive only had it for like 2 years and i never kept track then there was the leap year and i cant remember if i got it in early feb or not. I dont feel preganent and theres no signs of it but i need reassurancey.
Thanks.
It's physically impossible for you to get pregnant without having sexual intercourse with a boy/man. Period.
A more likely explaination for missing your period is that you're late... Or you've stopped having it temporarily. It's no big deal, it happens frequently to a lot of teenage girls. I started my period when I was about eleven... Then didn't have another one until almost a year later. If you're really concerned about it you can talk to your parents about it and see a doctor. But most likely you have nothing to worry about.
ok so im 18 and been a smoker for a few months or so..i use to wear contacts and now back to glasses due to contact problems and cost..for some reason when i smoke my left eye can see more clearly then the right pretty significantly..honestly this puzzles me very much especially since i have bad vision and then if i smoke, my eye can almost see clearer then if i were wearing glasses..i was wondering if anyone ever had something happen in the same category or if maybe something in the cigarettes is somehow temporaily giving me better vision? thanks
-rich
This is probably not what you want to hear... But I'm going to say it anyway... Just because I am a smoker and I understand just how idiotic smoking is...
It doesn't matter if smoking improves your vision or not. Put the cigarettes down while you still can. Otherwise, you're just going to continue smoking and it's going to reak havoc on the rest of your body later. Smoking isn't just bad for your lungs. It's bad for your entire body. It affects your heart, inscreases your risk of heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, cancer... And it's bad for your teeth.
So my advice is... Quit smoking and go see an eye doctor. You should be able to afford a doctor with all the money you'll be saving on the cigarettes you aren't buying.
what are ways to keep myself motivated to exercise? i always wanna do it so i can get a little slimmer in the tummy and thigh area, but then theres no time or i just dont feel like it. i mean i exercise at other things but i'd like to do it more daily.. like running around the neighborhood, etc.
also i eat alot.. just cause it tastes good. not necessarily because im hungry. im not sure why i do that, its a bad habit. like i forced myself to eat cheesecake (2 slices, when i was already full) just because i like cheesecake.. and i guess i thought it was gonna finish? ugh. i hate that, and its whats making me gain weight because i used to be average and now im slowly getting fat.
A good question to ask yourself might be, "Why am I eating if I'm not hungry?"
In our society we eat for vsrious reasons and some of those reasons have nothing to do with hunger. You could be eating more because you're bored. If that's the case, hobbies might be constructive. When I'm doing something that I enjoy, I tend to forget about a lot of things, including eating if I'm not hungry.
Another reason that you might be eating when you're not hungry is because you're feeling sad and eating comforts you. This is not a healthy habit for various reasons. If that is the case, before you stuff down a couple of pieces of cheesecake, you might want to ask yourself how you're feeling and why you feel that way. Recognizing your emotions and trying to come to terms with problems in your life is a lot more productive than eating a bag of potato chips.
As for how to stay motivated... Here are some ideas... 1.) Get someone else involved. If you had a friend or a family member to exercise with, you probably do it more often because they could help motivate you. 2.) Establish a time to exercise everyday. If you set aside a specific time everyday to do something and stick to it... It will become a habit. Pick a time of day that you usually aren't tired. For example, if you're tired when you come home from school, try exercising before you go to school. Wake up twenty minutes early and take a walk. 3.) Don't look at the scale!! Physican trainers often state that when you lose weight the right way, weight loss is very gradual. So looking at the scale on a daily basis is counterproductive. It's actually demoralizing... Because even though you are making progress you might not notice immediate weight loss. 4.) Get involved in some type of exercise class. This could be successful for the same reasons 1&2 are successful. You're working out with other people, and there is a set time so it becomes routine.
You can change you're eating habits to facilitate better weight loss without going on a diet. Drink more water. Eat less junk food. Take a vitamin. Not only will you be healthier, but you'll start to feel better about yourself too.
Why is it that guys can't just put their animalistic urges in check? I'm not speaking on behalf of all guys, but I have a feeling that many guys out there only want one thing, and think with their little head, if you know what i mean.
I just went out with my 'boyfriend' (it's only been a month) and his friends tonight; it was St. Patrick's day, so of course we went bar hopping. All the girls were displaying their goods as though they were on sale. And I understand that it's hard not to look when a girl is wearing something nice/flaunting, has nice body, etc.., etc.., but I could tell that my bf was kind of looking at them in that way. Not like up and down or anything, but it was like, " hello, I'm here!" I don't know if I'm overreacting or anything, but he's a charming guy, and a few girls smiled at hime, and it got me to wonder: when I'm not around, who's number is he getting? And what does he do, or how does he act with other girls when I'm not around. Cause when I was RIGHT THERE, I still had a feeling he was checking girls out, and don't get me wrong: I glance at hot guys too, but if my bf is there, it's like NO WAY< not going there.
SO, i'd like to hear from you, guy or girl: is this appropriate to an extent (on his part), and am i overreacting, or is this understandable?
Sorry for such a long message, I'm just getting it all out! BTW: 22, F
Yes. You're over-reacting.
You have admitted that you still notice when another man is attractive even though you are involved in a relationship. So does he. The reason you don't stare at every hot guy you see pass by when you're with you're boyfriend, and he can't do the same... Simply boils down to tact. You have it, he doesn't.
But I would like to point out that just because your boyfriend may look at an attractive girl... Doesn't mean that he has any desire to ask her for her phone number or even talk to her for that matter. She's just something pretty to look at, and that's all he's doing... Looking. Blame it on testosterone, blame it on halter tops, whatever...
I would like to point out that you're blowing things out of proportion because you're suffering from a bout of insecurity. YOU think YOU aren't attractive enough. Which is probably untrue. He must like you, if he's dating you exculsively. So... You need to put your insecurity to rest, dear.
And you're also going to have to trust him. You can't worry about what he's doing when you aren't around. Why? Trust is an essential part of ANY relationship, romantic or platonic. Without it, no relationship can survive. Because this is what would happen... You'd be suspicious all the time... And then, eventually, you'd start to accuse him of cheating. Then he would get angry because you've questioned his integrity and it would turn into a fight. Have the same fight enough times, and he'll get tired of your jealousy and leave you. He might love you, but no one can live that way... Feeling like they are being scrutinized and verbally assulted on a regular basis.
If you're going to talk to him about this... Be careful. He hasn't done anything wrong. If you tell him right off the bat that you don't like the way he looks at other girls and that you want him to stop... Very likely he'll feel that you're being irrational. He may try to comply to make you happy, and probably fail... And if you say it again he'll feel like you are nagging him.
A better way to approach the topic might be to say something like... "I know it's natural to look at someone when you think that they're attractive. But sometimes when I notice you looking at someone else... It makes me feel insecure about whether or not you still find me attractive. I trust you, but I need some reassurance that you still find me attractive." That way he doesn't feel like you're blaming him for anything, because you've admitted that part of the problem is how YOU feel about yourself. And you get what you really want... REASSURANCE!
I would like to start drawing with oil pastels, I love looking at settings that artists have created, like sunsets or cottages with plants or an italian cafe or something. Trouble is I am the worst drawer ever. Does anyone have any tips or anything for helping? I mean I know you have to have some sort of gift for this type of thing but the more tips the better I'll be. I hope haha. Please help and thank you!
Drawing is not a talent. Drawing is a skill. A skill anyone can learn. How well you draw will be affected by how hard you apply yourself and how often you practice. Be patient. Don't get discouraged. Learning to draw takes time.
I'd suggest you learn to draw in pencil first. Once you've learned to draw in pencil, adapting to oil pastels will be easy.
Here is a list of supplies that you will need:
1.) 1 pack pencils
2.) 1 drawing pad
3.) 1 pack of pens
4.) 1 pack of tracing paper
You don't need to spend a lot of money either. For learning, inexpensive items are sufficient. A pack of No. 2 pencils, a pad of recycled paper, and a pack of regular Bic pens will be just fine for now.
The ability to draw is based primarily on how you look at things. It's the ability to translate what you see in a three dimensional world into a two dimensional drawing. Here are several books that I highly recommend...
1.) The Natural Way to Draw, by Nicolaides ($8.95)
2.) How to Draw What You See, by Rudy De Reyna
($14.95)
3.) Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, by Betty Edwards ($16.95)
These three books can teach you all the basic principles of drawing. (A lot less expensive than drawing classes and just as effective. I draw pretty well and I've never taken a drawing class before.)
Let me know if you have any more questions. Take care. ;)
ok i have this so called guy friend who likes my good friend, my friend knew that he has a crush on her and he knows it too
and him and i always talk about her and i always listen and trying to help him out and he said this to me after my friend told me to tell him:
"friend": she said she likes someone ?
me : yeah
"friend": : ic...
me : yeah
me: ey no meeting in the library for a while
me : cause people are being UGh
me: so annoying
"friend": : well theres no need to talk to you anymore
me: as in?
"friend": : i only talk to you cause of her...
me: icic
me: umm ok then
"friend": : nice knowin you
and he signed out so was he using me?
He just stated that your friendship is basicly over. By stating that your friendship is over because your friend likes someone else... He also implied that he was just using you to get closer to her. At least... That's how I interpret the message. So... Yeah... I think he was probably using you.
Unless he was joking. However... If he was... I'd think he would say something like, "Just kidding," afterwards and not just sign off right then. I think that was a little too abrupt to really be funny.
Anyway... If you find out later that he was joking. (Though I think that is unlikely...) You need to tell him that his little joke really hurt your feelings. And if he is your friend, he'll apologize.
If not... Don't sweat it. This guy sounds like a jerk with issues... You don't want to be friends with a jerk. Especially one with issues.
Though... Saying that... I know that it still doesn't make it easy... Or take away the hurt that you're probably feeling. As I have said before, there are no words to take away the pain. But remember that this will pass. You're a beautiful person, and I'm sure you're perfectly capable of making plenty of new friends.
Take care. ;)
This question is for Christians, please.
I consider myself a Christian. I pray and whenever I do, I feel a sense of joy and I feel like I'm talking to the best person ever. But I always sin and I hate myself for it. Everyday, I judge people and I am vein and I get angry.
Whenever I do my hair or put on makeup, I feel like I'm being vein and I feel ugly in God's eyes. I also judge EVERYONE. Like, if I pass by an overweight person, I instantly think "That person is fat". This also makes me feel ugly to Him. I also gossip, lie..I do basically every sin except kill, steal, commit adultery, and worship idols. I repent though.
All of this sin that I do makes me feel like God won't accept me into Heaven when I die. I know that Jesus forgives us when we repent, but I sin so much that it seems like he would never let someone so sinful into his kingdom. When I ask to be forgiven, I always think "You've asked God to forgive you for doing that sin a million times. He won't give you another chance"
What do you suggest I do?
God will forgive you... Because he loves you. REALLY loves you. When you REALLY love someone, you realize that they are less than perfect, and you forgive them. So... Don't be afraid.
We recently found out my dad has a girlfriend and has had her for a few years. My parents are now going thru a divorce and have been for the past two years (since we found out) He says he wants a relationship with my older sister and I but shows us otherwise. He is verbally abusive to us and when living at home he started drinking heavily and started to get physically abusive. I just want to know how to get over not having the man I looked up to my whole life? I am 24 years old and I dont want this to affect anymore of my personal relationships any longer. So if anyone has any advice please let me know how to get over my dad leaving me and how to not let it affect my future relationships? Thanks!
You know... I grew up being told my father was an awful person and that he didn't love me. Maybe never in those exact words... But it was always implied. And I thought that because he had chosen not to be a part of my life... That must mean that there was something wrong me. Maybe if my own father could not love me... No man ever would.
This outlook affected many of my relationships in different ways. In the past, I've had difficulty opening up emotionally to men. I thought that they wouldn't care what I thought or felt. (Because there was something wrong with me.) If they expressed any sort of interest, I thought it was because they didn't know me yet... But once they did they would leave me. (Because there was something wrong with me.)
Really... That was not the case. Many men interpreted my shyness as a lack of interest, or coldness. After trying so many times to get me to open up to them and being pushed away... They got discouraged and left.
And so... My theory that I would be abandoned by every man I cared about... Was self-perpetuating. It wasn't that something was wrong with me... The problem was that I believed that something was wrong with me. Until you love yourself you will never be able to believe that anyone loves you.
So... Whether you are a guy or a girl... Try to realize that... 1.) Your father is not an swful person. His behavior might be awful... But awful behavior is usually the result of deeper emotional issues. Your father is hurting... That's the reason why he acts the way he does. It doesn't justify his behavior... But sometimes it's a lot easier to forgive the behavior if you know where it comes from.
Also realize that you are not the cause of your father's behavior... No matter what he says to you. It's not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. If you can realize that... If you can look in the mirror and say, "I love you," you'll be okay. If you can realize this then your relationships won't be affected like my relationships were. And you won't have to fear turning into your father either.
I know that my words will not take away the pain. I wish they could. But remember, no matter how much it hurts... One day the hurt will pass. You're going to be okay. ;)