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Doubt
One of my closest friends told me something about themselves, and it's like, really dark, most people wouls stop being friends with another because of this.
But, I accept it, she's still my friend, who i would do anything for.
She's afraid I'm lying about accepting it because her Ex-BF said he did then broke up with her a few months later, calling her an inhumane monster without a trace of a soul.
So she's afraid I'm going to do the same.
I've known this Person for almost 10 years now, she got me through some of the toughest times of my life, and for a logn time, we were each others only friend, I lvoe her like family, and I'm not sure how to tell her how much her friendship means to me, and How to convince her of the truth; That I still See her as an amzing beautiful person, And i'm always going to there for her.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
OK, you should just keep talkin to her. If you don't call her or talk to her for a little while, she will think you don't want to hang out with her or talk to her. You just need to avoid the topic, and if she brings it up and starts asking you if you are still going to be her friend, keep re-assuring her, then indescretely change the subject. The best way to tell her how much she means to you is to just come out and tell her exactly what you think. It can be hard, I hav had to tell my friends stuff like that, and for some reason it can be hard to tell your friend how much you care for them. I don't know why, but it can be scary. If you dont think you can tell her to her face, jsut send her and e-mail or instant message. That might make it easier to tell her. Hope this helps.
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As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words.
You can tell her and tell her until you puke coat hangers that you accept it and she is still your friend, but she won't believe it until you prove that you feel that way.
That takes time and patience, and not bringing it up anymore. I promise she will see and know the truth about you in due time.
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Well, you've certainly piqued some curiosity about what this strange, dark secret could be. Without knowing that, it's hard to give you specifics, but here's some generalized advice:
(1) Trust takes time. Presumably, you've given her no reason to mistrust you personally, but whatever this is it's something that she would think any reasonable person would view with horror. She's expecting you to do that in the same way she would expect you to get scared if someone pointed a gun at you. To convince her that you really mean what you say, that you will stick by her, will just take some time.
(2) Don't dwell on it unless you have to. For instance, if her issue is that she's a recovering alcoholic, you should support her by ensuring that she never takes a drink and occasionally congratulate her on doing well. However, if it's something that won't really affect her in most situations, you would be a better friend to just talk about it when she brings it up and lend a supporting ear.
(3) Keep her trust. This is not your secret to tell. The sole exception is if it somehow becomes a threat to others or if she becomes so upset about it that she considers harming or killing herself. That's a judgment call you'll have to face if and when the time comes.
(4) By the same token, keep her trust by never, ever using this against her. Friends will sometimes get angry with each other and say hurtful things - this particular item is off-limits, no matter how angry you get. If her fears are realized and you do turn this against her, even in a small way, that will be the end of your friendship forever.
In the end, though, the only thing that will really show that you still consider her a friend is time.
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one of my friends are the same way.you need to tell her she is a beautiful person and she is the best best friend in the world no matter what her ex-bf might say.he is just a jurk.
you need to keep saying to her you will always be there no matter what.it will take a while for her to believe you but dont stop saying it.she will start realising your a true friend and you are never going to stop being there for her.GOOD LUCK!xxaoifexxx
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I would like to commend you for being a true friend. You are an amazing, beautiful person. :D
As for your friend... I can understand how she would have a difficult time trusting you with her secret. Even when we really love and trust someone... It's hard for us to trust people with some things just because of our past experiences. But I think that once some times passes, and she realizes that you're sticking with her through thick and thin, she'll realize your different from the person that's betrayed her.
Until then, if you want to try and help her put her mind at ease, try writing her a letter. Tell her what you just told us... Tell her that you love her like family, that nothing she's done in the past will cause you to think less of her... That you know she's amazing and beautiful, and that you're going to be there tomorrow. Tell her that you understand that she's afraid, but that she has to trust you for your friendship to survive. Remind her of all the great things she's done for you... Tell her WHY you think she's amazing and beautiful. Then give her that letter and let her read her by herself so she can really think about it.
It's going to be okay. ;)
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some of my friends are struggling with the same things. the answer is in your question. you need to tell her that she is an amazing beautiful person and that you will always be there for her. also tell her that she can always go to you for anything. when you are a light in the darkness of someone else's life, you'd be surprised on how much you can change that person's heart. im helping my friend with getting out of something that was really dark and she also helped me. and seeing how she cared, she is my best friend forever because i wouldnt be the same without her. try it. when anyone hears that they're an amazing beautiful person, im pretty sure that's not taken in the wrong way.
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