I am kind of new to this, but I think i might be able to help you with your problems. If you ask me a question and I do not know anything about it, I will tell you that I do not know much about that, but I will tell you what i would do in that situation. I hope I can help.
Gender: Male
Location: south-eastern US
Member Since: January 26, 2007
Answers: 21
Last Update: April 18, 2007
Visitors: 2532
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One of my closest friends told me something about themselves, and it's like, really dark, most people wouls stop being friends with another because of this.
But, I accept it, she's still my friend, who i would do anything for.
She's afraid I'm lying about accepting it because her Ex-BF said he did then broke up with her a few months later, calling her an inhumane monster without a trace of a soul.
So she's afraid I'm going to do the same.
I've known this Person for almost 10 years now, she got me through some of the toughest times of my life, and for a logn time, we were each others only friend, I lvoe her like family, and I'm not sure how to tell her how much her friendship means to me, and How to convince her of the truth; That I still See her as an amzing beautiful person, And i'm always going to there for her. (link)
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OK, you should just keep talkin to her. If you don't call her or talk to her for a little while, she will think you don't want to hang out with her or talk to her. You just need to avoid the topic, and if she brings it up and starts asking you if you are still going to be her friend, keep re-assuring her, then indescretely change the subject. The best way to tell her how much she means to you is to just come out and tell her exactly what you think. It can be hard, I hav had to tell my friends stuff like that, and for some reason it can be hard to tell your friend how much you care for them. I don't know why, but it can be scary. If you dont think you can tell her to her face, jsut send her and e-mail or instant message. That might make it easier to tell her. Hope this helps.
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k i'm a nintendo type person so recently i heard a system called the nintendo wii came out. im probably thinking of buyin one for christmas but i dunno. i seen like the stuff it has like the controller for example. does it really have to be a remote? i searched on google images and found that there are wii controllers that are sort of similar to the gamecube ones. are there wii's for sale that sell controllers instead of the remote? its just cuz..well im thinking im not gonna get used to using a remote. =/ (link)
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You have to use a Wii remote for most Wii games. The other controllers are used for gamecube games and games you download to your Wii. The Wii has Gamecube controller plug ins, but they only work with Gamecube games. The Wii also has additional plug ins for the Wii remote, but they cannot be used on all games. I have a Wii, and I don't think it is anything special. You can get one, but from my experiances with my Wii (wich probably won't happen to you) I don't really paly it a lot. Hope this helps.
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My friendship with a guy (best guy friend...or was...) is over...and i dont know what to do...i dont know what to think...i dont know how to feel...
im in so much pain...and right now i feel numbed to it...and that is really scary because i know its gonna hit me really hard later than...its happened before...but the thing that really gets me is that i dont think he notices anything is wrong...like he has no idea that our friendship is gone down the toliet or he does and he just doesnt want to do anything about it...he just doesnt care...
i dont know...any advice on this would be greatly appreciated! (link)
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Just try talking to him about it. From what you said, it seems like you haven't talked to him about it. Maybe he really doesn't realize that things aren't so well between you. Maybe he doesn't know how you feel. I think it would help you out a lot if you just sat down and talked to him about it. If you are afraid to do it in person, then you can do it through e-mail, texting, on the phone, there are a lot of ways to do it without having to ask him to his face. I noticed something like that was happening between me and one of my friends, and I finally said, "Is there something wrong between us? Because we don't seem to be as good friends as we use to." They said tha tthey didn't realize anything was wrong. What had happened was that we got different classes and didn't talk to each other as much. Now we are friends again. Just try sitting down and talking. It really does help.
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Once you told someone your feelings you feel releaved that you let it off your chest. right?
well i did...
we had a good talk about it, and she didnt understood but i simply explain that i dont know why i do have these feelings but i do for some reson.
later...
i realized she was still my friend and didnt feel awarkered about it. i then ask "why did you seem alright about me telling you how i feel?" i was hoping she will say something but she didnt. and when i ask in a note she didnt even reply.
why is that? why cant it be a simple reply why she seem okay with the fact. yes she still hangs out and talk to me, but i want it in words. all i can think is that she seem okay with it cause she might have the same feelings. but that cant be right. can it?
so if someone ask you that qeastion "why do you seem alright about me telling how i feel?" what would your answer be? (link)
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Maybe she is just seeming to be ok with it, but she isn't. I don't know why, but some people think it is necassary to keep there bad emotions (like sadness and being mad) bottled up. It may be because they think if they say the wrong thing you will get mad and not want to be their friend any more. Anyway, that doesn't really answer your direct question. I woud probably say "Because I didnt want you to get mad at me." It's as simple as that, for me anyway. I mean, when you know someone for so long, you don't really want to say "Well, I think that idea is completely wrong." You usually don't say things like that because you are afraid of losing that friend. It's not really that you don't like their idea, it may be that you just don't understand it completely. Just keep trying to find out. Try to sit her down and say something like, (you never told us a name so I am just gonna use the name Brittany) "Brittany, it is bothering me that you are just acting ok when I tell you something. Will you please tell me why you just act like you are ok? Because it bothers me that you don't tell me how you really feel." Just say something along those lines to you friend. She will probably tell you why she is acting the way she is. Hope that helps.
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I own a labrador retriever currently and I just got a new puppy. The problem is that my lab is very aggressive towards the new puppy. She growls when it comes near her and if threatened enough she will attempt to bite the puppy. What can I do to keep my dog from doing this? (link)
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I am sorry to say this, but nothing. If your dog thinks the puppy is a threaat to her dominance, she will be fierce with it. After a while, she will start to get along with the puppy better. My dog is having the same problem with the puppy we just got, but she is quickly getting use to it because now he is as big a she is, and is going to be twice as big as she is when he is full grown. It is going to be scary, but your dogs need some time together where an adult can watch them (I say an adult because I don't know how old you are). Just try not to let the older dog hurt the younger dog, but let her maintane dominance. There is a difference between dominance and aggraession, and she sounds more like domanince to me. I could be wrong, but that is what I think. Just remember you need to give the older dog more attention than the puppy so she remembers that she is still important. Hope this helps.
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My best guy friend asked me out a week ago, and I liked him a little, so I said yes. Well... now he's getting annoying, and sometimes I have feelings for him, sometimes I don't. I kinda like someone else, but I know I have no chance with him, but I still don't want to go out with my boyfriend when I don't really like him. Help me, PLEASE. (link)
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Here's what you should do. Even though it's only been a week, he is probably really attatched. So you need to sit him down and say something like "I really like you, but I don't want to go out with you any more. You are a really good friend, but I don't think you can be anything more than that to me." If you tell him thiat now, it will be much easier than when you have been dating longer. And for the guy you think you don't have a chance with, just go for it anyways. What have you got to lose? Hope this helps.
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im 13/f. my two best friends are dating(a guy and a girl) and they asked me if it was ok i said yes and i feel like a third wheel always and if they ever brake up i dont know what id do.
what do i do so i feel better around them? what do i do if they break up? all three of us always went places never just two so they still bring me everywhere. i told them they could go on dates alone without me if they like but they say its funner with me. (link)
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If they are the same age as you, and I'm sorry to say this, but this is how I feel, they probably won't be together long. That's just how middle school relationships work. And for when they break up, just stay friends with both of them. Yes, there will be har dfeelings between them, but most of the time when stuff liek that happens the people will become friends again soon (by soon I mean 1/2 a semester to a semester). But if you feel like a third wheel, jsut say "Look, I don't feel comfortable when I go on dates with you two. I mean, I just feel like I am in the way" or say something along those lines. But for the most part, don't worry about it. Things will be back to normal soonner than you think.
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I'm a 16/m and I have never had a girlfriend. I used to be kinda fat in middle school, but i have lost alot of weight and am in great shape. I would say im good-looking, and have a lot of friends who are girls, but it seems like no girls think im boyfriend material. maybe its just that i cant tell if a girl likes me or not. so what should i do? (link)
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OK, I am 15/m and I kind of have the same problem. I can get girlfriends, but the last one I had (last Christmas) was my last one, because she broke my heart. I really liked her, I mean if it came to it I would move to another state if she did. But she expected me to know things without her telling me. To get to the point, I have chosen not to get into any serious relationships for a while. Because in middle and high school you never know what's gonna happen, and you never know if somebody is using you. And it may be that you haven't found "her" yet. My friend thinks he has found "her", and I am gonna be there when he founds out, once again, that the girl he is goin out with isn't "her". Look, I'm not sayin relationships aren't important, and I know it seems like you have to have a girlfriend, but you don't. I have been better off without a girlfriend than I ever was with one. Maybe you should stop looking for a girlfriend, and just look for a friend that happens to be a girl, and then hang out and find what she likes. You would be surprised what/who you find when you're not looking for it. I think I found my "her", but I am no where near asking her out. Call me a wimp or a dork or a loser, but I still haven't gotten completely over my last "her". Maybe you are better off without one. Hope this helps.
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Ok so I'm a 16/m, almost 17. I have a great group fo friends, and were all pretty close. However, some of us arent AS close as we are with others in the group. Now I have been best friends with my friend, we will call larry, for 3 years, but have known him for about 5. Now he is growing closer to another friend in our clique who we will call bob. I am also close with bob. Both of them act really different when they are together, and to be honest i can't stand being around them when they are together. I also feel that im fading away from my closeness with larry. I would talk to him about it, but he can't exactly have a serious conversation. So what can i do? Am I wrong for drifting away from my once best friend? (link)
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I was in a similar situation. My best friend from 6th and 7th grade was getting more and more distant from me, and closer to the other people in our group. I don't really know how, but we started gettin closer again. I think what you need to do is try to get Larry to calm down enough where you can have a calm conversation with him sayin that you kinda feel like you are bein left out some. And no, you are not wrong. I don't think it is all your fault, but kind of both of your faults. I'm not saying you or Larry did anything wrong, but that you both started hanging out with other people. And that kind of stuff happens. I understand how you can think it is either all your or his fault, but it is really just part of life. I mean, you can't hang out with all your friends all the time, and you will probably have a lot of different best friends, and there is nothing wrong with that. But you just need to talk to Larry and try to get him to understand that you feel like you are being left out. I hope that helps.
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my 3 year anniversary with my bf kyle is coming up very soon. i want to do something special and non sexual. im only 17 and want to remain a virgin. he isn't but waits for me. i just don't know what to do for it, and what to give him. i was thinking about having sex, but i want to wait till we get married, or at least live together. but i was thinking about moving forward. we have only used our hands, but i was thinking about more than that but less than sex, it's hard for me to say it but... head. how do i do that and please him at that same time. (link)
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I understand you want to make him happy, but if you want to wait then you should wait. And if he doesn't like you for standing up for your beliefs, then he isn't the right guy for you. I'm sorry if that sound brutal, but if you don't want to do something then you shouldn't do it. He should be happy that you tell him your opinion. I hope this helps.
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13/f. Im not sure how I like my friend. As in bff or bf. Weve been really close friends for a long time then he started saying bffs so I did to because I tell him more than my other bffs and he tells me a lot and were always there for each other. But then we flirt so much people think or say were dating or should but were not. He knows I liked him I know he liked me befor the party because we told eachother. but I have no idea now. I went to a paintball party recently. We both go paint balling a lot then at the party my team was my 5 bffs 3 of their bfs and him. I would mainly go with him. And we flirt so much that’s what im so confused about. He was showing off and when we separated he was looking for me? But im the kind of gothic violent rough girl and hes the kind of prepy nice guy. Other guys I used to like and they liked me would be rough im rough to everyone also. But hes to nice. Is that what it should be like. But now hes been wearin a lot of black and depressed. Does that mean something. But then we do joke or do shoot each other on purpose. he was talking to my other friend about something ‘top secret’. later on she started truth or dare. And it started out just my 5 bffs her and him and another guy. I kept doing truths I was just to nervous. I knew it was a setup. He asked truth to me if id ever take a dare. Then my bff asked truth to me if I liked him then truth to him if he liked me we both said no. I regret it. Everyone already knew anyway but im just not sure if I like him bf or bff? And ive never kissed or been kissed. That’s what it was supposed to be. I thought wed start taking it longer than just a ‘dare’ kiss like making out or something. I like him as a bf then bff then bf then bff I just am not sure whats wrong. Hes all I think about and write about.
i really need help soon. if i dont do it tomarrow it will probly never happen between us. we tell eachother alot of stuff and we both knew or thought before the party that we liked eachother. Do I like him as a boyfriend(bf) or best friend(bff). How does he like me? What should I do? How do you kiss? How do I change what happened? What else should I do? (link)
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your questions in order
1) I am sur ehe likes you a lot. I think he might be just as confused as you are. I do the same kinda stuff with this one girl at school, and I am having the same problem with her you are having with him. The best thing to do is let him know how you feel.
2) I kinda already said this, but I'll say it again. You should tell him how you feel. Just try going out and if it doesn't work, just try (and I am NOT in anyway trying to make this sound mean) to move along. I'm not saying to rush into another relationship, but just wait. It might pay off.
3) To kiss you just... kiss. I mean, there isn't really a right or wrong way to kiss. You just pucker up and kiss. It takes a while, but you will learn.
4) Unfortunatelly, you can't change the past. But you can fix the future. Just ask him if he likes you. It is gonna be scarey, but you can do it.
5) Just follow your heart. That is really the only thing you can do. If you like him, go for it, if you don't like him, then don't. Either way, you can't lose.
Hope I helped.
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16/f. My best friend, a guy, talks to me all the time about shit that goes on with him, like at home(his home life is very f***ed up). Mostly it's on AIM. And I'm really glad that he talks to me, cuz we have a history(long story) and we are best friends. But a lot of the time I don't know what to say in response. I'll say I'm sorry and stuff like that, but I feel like I have to say more. But like what? I just need him to know that I will always be there for him and he can talk to me about anything, and I'm sure he knows that, I've shown it. Do I need to say anything else? (link)
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You are doing the best you can, and that's enough. It's normal to feel like you want to do more, but you may not be able to. It really all depends on what is going on and how much experiance you have with it. I have a friend like you, and she has more problems in her life than i will probably ever have. But she still listens and helps me. You sound like an awesome friend, and I'm sure he is grateful that you listen and help him the best you can. I am sure you mean a lot to him as a friend. Sometimes people don't really need help with their problems, they jsut want somebody to know they have them. And usually they can only trust a true friend, and you don't get many of those in life, and you sound liek one of his.
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For some reason everytime I cry my best guy friend looks like he wants to, but he never does. Why is this? Why can't boys just cry? I've always wondered. Like what will it take to get them to cry? I'm just curious, thanks. (link)
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As a guy, it's not that we can't cry, it's that we don't want to. Guys don't like to cry in public because they will end up getting teased about it. It's just a matter of appearence, nothing mroe nothing less.
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So i am going to be my boyfreinds first kiss..
and i know its going ot happen, before you go there.
I've kissed before.. a few guys.. (boyfriends)
and he hasn't.
He is going to be 16.. well, pretty gosh darn soon.
&& he's pretty shy..
so im sure i'll make the first move..
((( we were talking about it, like kidding aroudn.. well, long story..but anywyas, i can assure you it's going to happen )))
my question is..
since i don't really make the first move..
ever. i hate it..
what should i do?
what kind of kiss?
wehre should i put my hands..
stuff like that.
:] please help! (link)
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My first kiss was also my girlfriends first kiss. The part I remember more than anything else is the way it felt. It's not really where you put your hands, it's more about the emotion. I'm not saying where you put your hands isn't important, but the most important part is the feeling. Just don't rush him, and don't go to far to fast, because it might freak him out. I hope that helps.
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so me and my friend are in a somewhat of a relationship right, shes a girl and well i know i like her alot and she likes me well im not sure how much. but i know she does and everytime i go to kiss her she dosnt kiss me back, like not make out just kiss on the lips? i dont do it often just because i feel so awkward that im making her awkward. so what should i do? (link)
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My girlfriend did the same kind of stuff once. She didn't tell me she didn't want to kiss because she felt like it would ruin our relationship. But the very fact that she didn't tell me ruined our relationship. Just stick with holding hands and going to the movies for a while, and sometimes try to kiss her, but if she acts like she doesn't want to, then stop. It coud ruin your relationship. The best thing to do is to ask her about it. I hope this helps.
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theres this guy that i used to be really close with but now he's kind of at that stage where he doesn't eat, he doesn't talk to anyone, he's always fighting with his best friend and he always works and studies to hard. i don't know what do say to him, he won't listen to me or to anyone else. he thinks that what he's doing is fine and doesn't care. what should i do?
ps. i don't want to say anything to him because he gets angry easily and he's not to pretty when he's mad (link)
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I am a guy, and have done that same thing about a year ago, but not the exact same. The best thing to do is tell him how you feel. It sounds like something is wrong, yes, but he may not want to talk about it. If you give him time he will eventually want to talk about it. The best thing you can do right now is try to be a good friend to him. That's what my friends did when I was going through that, and i got mad at them and yelled at them and almost told them I wasn't their friend anymore. Then, when I got out of the slump, I realized that the ones who helped where more willing to be my friend after what I said to them than the ones who didn't try to help me so much. Just try to figure out what's wrong, and try to help him out with it. If you need more advice, just send me a message to my inbox. I hope i have helped.
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Okay im worry about my friend she haset been eating latly..how long do you go without eating befor you start to lose wight..thnkyou (link)
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First off, you need to let them know that not eating is not the answer. It can be very dangerous, and can lead to major health problems later on in life. Now, the answer to your question is that it depends on the person and how active they are (probably not exactly what you wanted to hear). But, and I am not trying to be mean, you really REALLY need to help them find a diet they like and can do. They may think a crash diet is the only thing to do but it is not. You need to support them in there ideas, yes, but his is a very bad idea. Try to figure out a way you can help them lose weight in a safe way. For example, exercise and diet. For people who are overweight or obese it is much more dangerous than people who are not. I am not saying it isn't dangerous for normal or skinny people, but it is really hard on the body to go without food. If you need more help, please send me a message to my inbox. I hope I have helped.
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What kind of person would you go to to get help from cutting yourself? I'm talking about prfessional help. What type of procedures would they take. What kind of things would they ask you? (link)
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First off, I would like to say that I am glad you are trying to get help. Most people will just contenue doing it, and will not even think of asking for help. Now, to answer your question. I think the best professional is a good friend. Most people who do hurt themselves, I am NOT saying this is why you hurt yourself, do so because they feel that they don't have any friends or that they are depressed. The best way to find help, is to go to the docter and tell them you need help and ask them if they recommend anyone. I would be glad to try to help, but I am not a professional. If you want to talk jusst send something to my inbox.
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ok. 14/f. my life with friends right now sucks so much. i can't take it anymore. i have 2 different stories about 2 diffrent friends. ok, so my first friend.. we'll call her.. Lacy.lol. well, we have this huge science project to do. and our teacher allowed us to have partners. and me and Lacy have been friends for about 2 years now, so we're pretty good friends. we're in our science class together, so we decided to be partners together. well, a diffrent girl in our class asked the teacher if we could have partners from diffrent classes. and he said that would be ok. so we started doing more reaserch and stuff. well, in a different class that we have together today, she goes "ok, i have to tell you something but please don't get mad" and i said "ok, i won't" and Lacy goes "well, i think i'm going to be with "Tiffany" (changed name) because she didn't have anyone to be with." and i go "ok" and acted like i wasn't mad, but i really was furious. so now i have to do it by myself, cause my other friends already have partners. but i don't want her to find out i'm mad, cause i don't want to start anything, so what should i do? i don't want to say anything cause that would prolly make her mad. ok, second story. there is this girl.. "Lisa" and we were pretty good friends at the beginning of 8th grade. but she gets mad really easily about the STUPIDIST things ever. even if you say one tiny thing that is a little bit annoying. well, i'm almost positive i didn't do anything to her, and she has totally been ignoring me. and if she does talk to me, its usually really rude. but i'm starting not to care because i think she is annoying, and alot of our other friends think she is annoying. they have told me that before.and she is so despreate for friends its sad. lol. but still, what should i do? should i ignore her? i really feel like i can't trust any of my friends anymore. and its NOT just those 2 friends. what should i do about my friends? sometimes they seem to like me, but other times not. thanx. (link)
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First about Lacy. For her to ditch you like that was wrong, and you need to tell her that it made you upset, ans however else it made you feel. If you don't tell her, she will never know. And if she asks why you didn't tell her then and there, tell her the truth.
Now for Lisa. Since she doesn;t have friends, she might be a little dramatic about things, or that may be why she doesn't have many friends. But, if you do still want to be her friend, you should stop her and ask her why she is ignoring you, and that you want to know if you did something. Notice I said if you want to be friends with her, not your friends, you. Most people will not be friends with someone because their friends don't like them, and that is wrong. If you want to be her friend, then your friends should be ok with that. But if Lisa doesn't want to be your friend, just let it go. Hope this helps.
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14/F
okay so i moved here earlier this year, -- i met some friends and through those friends i met my now, best friend, her name is Gina. Over the past couple of months me and Gina have been getting really close and all. Close enough that we have been sharing secrets and stuff. So we realized that we both cut. me more then her..but a few weeks ago she told me i was the only one who knew that she used to have an eating disorder for the past two years and she has had her withdrawels and relapses and stuff.. [you can deff. tell by looking at her that she does] Well now im more cautious of what she eats because i really care about her. The past few days ive been noticing she hasnt been eating or eats very little. today she brought cookies,cheesecurls,a sandwhich and a crunch bar. [her mom packed it.] and she gave away all the junk food leaving her with the sandwhich..she stared at it and threw it away. im really concerned for Gina. shes my best friend and i dont want to lose her and i want her to still feel like she can talk to me. what do i do? (link)
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I have been in a similar situation, and I am actually in one now. The first thing you should do is ask her about it. She might say something along the lines of, "I ate a big breakfast," or, "I'm just not hungry right now." If she does say something like that, tell her you are worried and exactly what you are thinking. I know it is kind of scary because you think you might lose her as a friend, but most of the time people will ahve more respect for you if you be straight forward with them. The next thing you should do, is offer to help her. She may think that she has to do it in a crash diet and go anorexic, which isn't right, but to some people it can seem the only thing to do. After that, try to find out if she wants to go on a diet, and if she does, offer to help her find a diet that she likes. Then, the only thing you can do is make sure she stays on her diet and be a good friend. I hope this helps.
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