A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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I'm 24 and female and I lost my virginity to a guy that I fancy the pants off! It wasn't at all what i expected and I was drunk and so was he and it was just...well, not that great.
I saw him last night and had to speak to him beacuse I just don't know how to feel about the whole thing and his words went a little something like this: "Well I had fun it was a laugh" and I was like "pardon and what now?"...He actually doesn't give a shit about me and I can't believe I waited that long to lose my virginity and it ended up being with an absolute CUNT! I've cried constantly for the whole entire day and I can't eat cos I feel sick. How long does it take to get over this? I hate him. He's ruined everything :(
Thanks
xxx (link)
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How long does it take to get over it?
Hopefully, you'll feel better tomorrow. Losing your virginity, in the scheme of things, isn't that huge a deal. Honestly, its going to bother you until you have some decent sex. No, thats not orders to get out there and fuck someone else.
You hate him? He's ruined everything? What has he ruined, exactly?
Or, more to the point, how is this entire thing his fault? You said that you liked the guy alot and got drunk with him. You pinned whatever hopes you had on a fantasy loss of virginity on a drunk encounter with a guy you had a crush on.
And you're probably going to stay bitter about this until you can accept that. You made a decision, and these are the repercussions.
Sleeping with a guy in hopes that it turns into something more than sex is a terrible idea. Because guys will say yes to sex with girls they would not date.
If you don't have enough self control to say no to a bad idea, how can you blame others for the fact that it blows up in your face?
Its not his fault that you chose to sleep with a guy you liked who didn't like you back in that relationship kinda way. Its not his fault that you waited until 24 and built up your virginity into a ridiculously huge deal and then were crushed when he didn't wake you up with breakfast and roses.
Honestly, I'd hazard a guess that you don't exactly have realistic expectations when it comes to sex and relationships.
Go out on dates. Establish an emotional connection before you take off your clothes. Have the self control to say no when you're drunk with a guy you like who finds you sexually attractive enough to sleep with.
Tell me, if this is his fault, are you going to go out again, get drunk with a guy you like, sleep with him, and expect a relationship out of it? It doesn't work that way.
This isn't his fault. Also, sex is a skill, not a Ron-Burgandy-esque visit to pleasure town. You don't start out knowing what you're doing, which is another good reason to have sex in a relationship.
If you get drunk and have bad, awkward, I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing sex with a guy you can't expect him to come off of it thinking he wants to ask you out tomorrow.
Get a boyfriend, fall in love, and then have sex like you need to repopulate the planet. When you're with someone you care about, the sex doesn't have to be technically great to be good sex. Then you have lots of sex and figure out what the hell you're doing, and everything gets better. One night drunken stands aren't going to teach you to be decent in bed.
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Is it possible for a person to bring back deleted files. I have no idea what happened to all the saved files on my memory card. Its like they all disappered. (link)
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Nope.
Absolutely no way to recover them.
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sorry didn't know what catagory to put this under but ..
if the police ask for my statement about something that happened, it has nothing to do with me and i was not there. do i have to give it to them?
they just want to know what i know about the situation but i do not want to give them a statement. help please? thanks. :) (link)
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"I don't know, I wasn't there" is a perfectly acceptable statement to give police.
Expanding on the above, if you weren't direct witness to something they can't use your witness for anything. All you have to do is say that you were not there and did not witness any events that happened. On those grounds, you can legally answer "I don't know" and you are telling the truth, because you were not a witness and so you do not have any first hand knowledge of what happened. Anything you know is legally hearsay and cannot be admitted into a court of law anyway.
That IS your legal statement. You were not witness so you can bear no witness.
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I'm 21 and my fiance is 28. I am 7 months pregnant. We have been together for almost 2 years. Our relationship to me has hit rock bottom but only for one reason....his ex wife and other son. Ever since the day me and my fiance have started dating i have had to deal with endless amounts of bullshit from his ex. Phone calls 2-3 o clock am calling saying what a crackhead I am how I'm such a whore. This went on for basically the first full year. Sometimes she would call pretending to be other women (she was never smart enough to block her number or atleast call from another number). Anywho I'm at the point where I don't feel like i should have to put up with this woman for the rest of my life honestly after 2 years she still hasn't let up when will she? he doesn't help the situation either. When they have to talk on the phone whether it be about custody or whatever he flirts! I told him....she's trying to get more and more money and hasn't let you see your son in 6 months plus she's been trying to sabatoge us since the day we met WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE NICE????????? He says he aggrees but ends up doing it anyways. Basically I'm scared to leave his side cause I feel like he'll call her. I'm scared to go anywhere cause I feel like he'll drive and see her of course to see his son(but she's sneaky and a slut) When he's not with me I wonder if he calls her and what they talk about. Maybe its just me but thats how I feel. I Love him so much and we're having a child but I can't deal with this torture and hurt everyday. I want to leave him but i'm scared. (link)
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It all begins with a police report.
Two years? Its time to file a police report for repeated criminal harassment.
The police report is a start. It establishes a paper trail for you trying to deal with this. After filing a police report for criminal harassment, you'll probably be told they aren't going to bring charges yet.
If she's been calling you from her own number, get cell phone records. You should be able to pull all the incoming calls for the last six months from your own cell company. Bring those with you, and circle her number.
The very next time she calls after filing the police report, get that call record and go file a restraining order.
Once the restraining order is filed and she's notified, she can stop, or she can end up in jail.
And he needs to take your side and support and encourage you through this. If he doesn't, thats a pretty big warning sign. I can't tell you you should break up with him, I can tell you that YOU personally haven't taken enough responsibility for this to make that call yet.
File a police report and a restraining order. Exercise your legal rights, consider contacting an attourney.
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I'm 18 years old and I know a lot of people say this but honestly my mum and I have never gotten along. I volunteered to get a job at the age of 16 and have been working ever since, I am now a manager at a fast food place and I get paid $10. I have my own car which I paid for with money I saved up. I am a senior in highschool and plan on going to college. My mum has never approved of any of the choices I've ever made so she feels the need to threaten me whenever I don't wash the dishes or don't adhere to her policy. Taking away the laptop (which I paid for), the phone (which I pay for monthly) and the car (which I paid for) is a constant battle with her. SOOOOO..
I am thinking of moving out. My boyfriend who I've been with since I was 14 and is 2 years older than I has already finished school and has a job, along with money saved up. I have a ton of questions about moving out and the hardships to expect, I work 40 hours a week and get paid $10 an hour, and he works 40 hours a week and gets paid $10.20.
1. Is that going to be enought to get us by?
2. What do we need to know in advance?
3. In what order should we worry about things? (ie: food, furniture, blah blah) (link)
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1) Its possible. My girlfriend and I share an apartment. 500 a month rent, 75+ electric, water is included, we use prepaid phones to save money and don't have a car payment, and internet is 75.
Food is probably another 800+ a month. Thats going to be the expense that hits you the hardest, it costs money to eat well, and it still costs money just to eat. 800 a month means little eating out and alot of cooking and sandwiches. With two people you can easily spend a grand or more on food a month.
So, 500+800+75+75 = 1450 in money thats spoken for. Thats not including incidental expenses like gas, cigarettes, or fun.
If you're both working 40 hours thats probably 1200 a month each after taxes. With budgeting, planning to shop rather than eat out (it can save you alot more money than you think, plus its healthier) and you can have some money left over to save or put towards something else.
2) What do you need to know?
- Budgeting is important. Keeping track of finances is important. But most important is the ability for you and your boyfriend to compromise on money. My girl and I toss our money into a communal can. We both had no problems with the concept of "its not your money or my money, its _our_ money". Some people don't do as well with that.
- You WILL drive each other insane. Living with someone, especially the first time, is a trial by fire. Neither of you has probably ever had to deal with someone's issues and bad personality traits on a day to day basis. Until you adjust you WILL have issues with this.
Which means you DO have to talk about it before you move in. You need to sit down and look each other in the eye, you need to commit to making this work together and say it out loud, and promise each other that you will do everything in each of your powers to compromise, to control their anger, and to always come back after a fight to talk it out.
- Establish your own separate areas. I live in a tiny ass one bedroom apartment thats cluttered with crap everywhere. My girl and I both have times when we need our alone time, need to be separate. We have our own places to go in the apartment that are "my space" and "her space". I've got my desk, and no one sits here but me if I want to sit here. Its where I retreat to when I need to be alone.
Find a space and make it yours, let him do the same.
3) Order? Bills then food, obviously, then everything else. Keeping a roof over your head is the most important thing. Food is next, as you have to eat. You can stretch a little money a long way though. Spaghetti and sauce is cheap, frozen chicken is cheap, sandwich stuff is cheap, and there are some decent things in the frozen foods aisle. I particularly like the frozen asian meal items, a 3 dollar frozen stir fry meal thats got meat, veggies, and rice isn't a bad deal. Buy some fruit for dessert and you've just spent 4 bucks on dinner. If either of you actually likes ramen, its a good investment for quick lunches or dinners on the go.
Try to maintain three meals a day if you can. Its easy to put on weight simply from not eating right when you live on your own, and its really easy to drop down to one or two meals a day that are badly timed.
Lastly, try to leave peacably with your mother. Express to her that you need your independence, and its time you took that responsibility for yourself. You don't want this to cause a rift between the two of you and you don't want to be unable to come back and visit all the time, but be assertive in that this is your choice and its what you want to do for yourself.
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My boy bestfriend and I made out . I never thought he saw me that way , he has a girlfriend , and i have a boy im talking to seriously , Ive always been very confused what Ive felt for him , and I think maby he feels the same but im scared to ask if he has feelings for me Should I or just let fate run its course ? (link)
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I agree with Jack.
Never, EVER be the other woman. Never be the reason someone broke up. There are no exceptions, if a break up is warranted then the guy needs to walk away of his own accord (or get dumped) and if a break up is not warranted you're creating a history of fucking up relationships.
If you want to continue to be friends, be friends. If he asks you about your feelings, be honest. But do not start that conversation yourself except to speak up and tell him that you aren't going to do anything like that again while he has a girlfriend.
If he breaks up with her for you, make him wait month or two before you date him. Tell him thats what you're making him do, that he isn't going to jump out of one relationship and into another, that you want him to break up and stay broken up, that he's got to be sure he wants what he wants and that its not just the passion of the moment.
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okay so my main question is how to tell if a guy just wants to hook up with you, or if he actually is wanting to date you. there is a guy that goes to my school, before we were really never that close but he saw me at a concert when i was HOT and he never left me that night. and then two days after he wanted to hang out with him and he came over, when he confessed he thought i was really beautiful, smart, nice personality and wanted to hook up with me at the concert. we have yet to hook up, and he keeps texting me and trying to hang out with me. he says he wants to get to know me and he always texts me first. how can i tell if he actually likes me or if i am just another hook up. because it seems like a lot of trouble just to hook up with someone, he could have hooked up with me already. (link)
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Lala's idea below me isn't a terrible one.
I'll take it one step further. If you want a guy who wants more than hooking up, don't hook up.
How do you tell? First off, as stated below you make it clear that you don't "hook up". I don't care whether you're talking about making out or one night stands, you don't do it.
Guys at your age (I'm guessing 17 or under) are still learning what dating is about and how to be decent men. Learning implies that they aren't decent men but stupid immature boys at that point.
Take all that, and add to it that teens have completely perverted and destroyed any sense of "normal" by continuiously pretending to be adults. The term "hooking up" is an example. Used to be a college term that came into vogue as slang for one night casual sex and its been pirated by teens (like everything else they term "adult" and "cool") and now teens use it for everything from a casual kiss to casual group sex and "hooking up" has become a part of semi-normal teen behavior.
This is a bad thing. Men naturally lean towards efficiency, so when boys are taught that "hooking up" and treating women/girls like disposable sex objects is a normal thing, it can take years to unlearn.
What this means for you, is that if you start with hooking up the chances of being with a guy who will be willing to actually work for sex after you give it up just because you found him attractive are slim to none. The only way to know if a guy will accept more after hooking up is to sleep with him, and then try to make the relationship more.
The likely failure rate of such a process would be somewhere above 90%. Probably less than 1 in 10, closer to 1 in 20 or 1 in 30 would have the maturity to manage that.
You eliminate that by eliminating hooking up. If you want to date people you can't be approaching them open to casual sex or whatever it is you're doing. How do you know when you're more than a hook up?
When he's willing to take you out, when he shows at least as much interest in who you are as what you will do sexually with him, and when he's willing to control himself and his urges out of respect for you.
That last line says alot.
"How can I tell if I'm just another hook up, it seems like alot of trouble because he could have hooked up with me already"
This is a childish perspective backed by childish behavior. Children "hook up" and then wonder if it could be more. Adults "hook up" because they know they don't want more. Well, some adults do, others are still immature idiots.
Relationships are adult things, and if you want one you have to act like an adult yourself. If you don't, how can you expect to find a guy who does as well?
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This is not a question about teen angst and a crush that I have.
It is a question however about a guy (cant exactly call him a man yet) and me. I'm 18, have read a couple of your answers though of course not all of them, and think you can provide some good insight into my situation. I'm sure you probably have a life so I'll get on with my story and try to make it short.
Recently I met this guy that is from my point of view somebody I would never consider actually having a relationship with. He's exactly what I swore off about 3 or 4 relationships ago... and I definitely know better. He's never had a relationship that's longer than 3 months, thinks all women are secretly perverse sluts, and that nobody is worth it. And he doesn't fall in love.
So me, recently newly single, decided he would be the perfect guy to have some fun with, nothing serious. However, something about him has now gotten my attention. I'm not sure what it is really, and that seems to be my problem. Because if I was just in this for the fun of it...which I've hinted to him already, then it wouldn't bother me that I was confirming his theory about women. But for some odd reason it does. I do not like this guy there is nothing he can offer me (emotionally speaking) so why is it that I cant bring myself to treat this as all it ever could be...a fling. And what is your honest opinion about this situation... I would really appreciate some advice... thanks =) (link)
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The easiest (and probably correct) answer is to walk.
If a casual relationship turns more than casual, its over. All you're going to do is get yourself into more drama.
That being said, I honestly don't know you anywhere near well enough to make an honest judgement.
Ideas?
- You've got a basic gut level dislike of being treated like a sex object
- You feel like you're more attracted to him than he is to you, causing resentment.
- You have issues with needing affection and needing it from guys like this whom you should ignore.
Could be one, none, or all three. I've got no idea. Though I can say that girls who find themselves attracted to and dating guys like this usually have issues with self esteem. Theres a girl I've been friends with almost a year now who's got this issue. She dates guys who look good but are otherwise worthless, because she is attractive but otherwise feels worthless.
She keeps getting (and currently is) trapped into relationships with idiots who treat her like shit and make up for it by giving her doses of the affection and "love" she's addicted to.
Does that sound like you? Do you date guys who are pretty worthless except for appearance and confidence in themselves? Does being alone scare you? If so, be single for a while (and celibate, invest in a vibrator if you have to) and work on your life outside of relationships, who and what you want to be and do and what you want to be doing now. Spend some more time figuring yourself out before you enter the dating realm again maybe.
Best insights I have for now.
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What's the difference between a pot leaf with 5 leaves, and a pot leaf with 7? (link)
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The number of leaves...
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I am 15 male and i do not share the same faith as my family. I am wiccan and i want to start telling people. not just my friends. I just dont know how to tell my parents. advice? (link)
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I wouldn't suggest it.
Ignoring the fact that you'll more than likely grow out of Wicca, telling your family is a terrible idea for several reasons.
- At 15 no one except other teenagers is going to take you seriously about commitment to beliefs as esoteric as Wicca
- Devout Christians view witchcraft as evil, not harmless beliefs about nature and whatnot.
- You live at home, you have to have peace in your house, and dropping this bomb will destroy your parents ability to interact with you.
I'll be honest, I have no respect for Wicca as a religion. It says something when the majority of the members of a religion are under 20, and that most of those grow out of it.
Few other people will respect your beliefs for exactly that reason. Its a way for strange people to create an individuality in their lives to match an individuality that they feel inside. Thats something I can understand.
Just understand that most people won't get it. Even if you stay sincere in your beliefs, most people will take it as a sign of lack of maturity as a snap judgement. The fact is that your family is Christian means that you'll get that reaction, absolutely guaranteed.
Value your parents sanity a while longer and keep it to yourself.
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what realm do you choose in WoW?
do you choose the one that has the green writing beside it?? (link)
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http://www.warcraftrealms.com/realmstats.php
Thats the best way, in my opinion. And in order to help, I suggest you download the WoW Census UI mod.
What that is is pretty obvious, it shows you how many people are on a server on both sides as accurately as they can. Its not 100% accurate, but one thing you do want to look for is clicking on actual realms that interest you.
There you can see the active ratio, which is how many are generally on at one time.
I'd find a server that's got a medium to large population and then check server pages from that chart to see what the active ratio is.
My server is laughing skull. Its a high population PVP server, and its got a ratio of 1:1.6 Alliance/Horde. That means that theres three horde for every two alliance online regularly.
You might want to pick a server thats 1:1 or a server that favors your faction or favors the other. I actually prefer PVP servers where my faction has fewer people online. You can also check and see what classes are common on those pages, make sure your server shows a balance and not "theres a billion rogues and hunters and only five mages on this server every month"
I generally suggest high population servers, the auction house is active on high pop servers and theres lots of raiding and alt raising and general activity to take part in.
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Okay, well I wasn't really sure where to put this but uh here goes. So I'm 13/F and he was 14/M. He is an awesome friend but he's always been a perv. Anyway, he took it too far this time and I flipped out. We were walking in a group and some other guys that we were with were making fun of him about how he "can't get a girl" and he says "I can get any girl I want!" so he grabs me, pins me against a wall, and sticks his hand down my pants. I freaked and kicked him in the balls... He looked like he was in severe pain. I almost felt bad but not really cuz what did he expect? But now he's super pissed at me. I don't think he has a right! Does anyone else think I was out of line? (link)
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HAHAHAHAHA
I wish I could have seen that. He got what he deserved, don't feel bad about it.
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i have never dated a girl before but i do consider myself bi because i have had crushes on girls and they really turn me on(havent dated a girl because i cant tell which girls arent straight and im too much of a coward to tell a girl im interested in her). well my manager just hired this new girl i have worked with the last four shifts and i think she is extremely cute! and i love her personality we click. i just dont know if she would ever consider dating a girl or if she has before. one reason i became interested in her is because i kind of get the vibe she is interested in me. im not sure but she always talks to me, wants to always be around me and when we talk she stares at me like a guy who is interested in me. i always catch her glancing at me when she thinks im not looking. and today at work everytime she joked around with me she would touch my arm kind of like flirting. and i told her i moved an hour away and am only in town three days a week to come to work. she told me she wished i didnt live so far away and that she wishes she could see me more often. she asked for my number and joked around and said "so i can take you out" and laughed and said so we can do something outside work. it really feels like she is interested but there is a chance i think she must just be admiring me or really just likes me that much as a friend. how can i figure out her intentions i just dont want to come out and tell her im interested in her and freak her out if she isnt bi. (link)
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My girlfriend is the exact same as you. She's bi and quite shy about it. She's found herself interested in several girls but only a few times has she actually been able to express it to someone, usually only when she thinks the girl she likes is interested in her first.
Make a point to talk to this girl every chance you get. Seek her out as much as she seeks you out.
Also, flirt back. Compliment her and let yourself get caught staring at her. If you can't tell her flat out you're interested, just try to make it fairly obvious.
The next step is spending time with her outside of work. From what you've told me, I think she's interested in more than just friends. Girls don't stare at people they aren't attracted to.
Plus theres this part.
"she asked for me number and joked around and said 'so I can take you out' and laughed and said so we can do something outside of work"
The last girl my girlfriend was interested in (and the only girl she's actually done anything with) took this exact approach. She was flirty and such, but she wasn't the type to walk up and declare her interest openly either. Its kind of a defensive mechanism, what I read when I saw that is "I'm interested in you but I'm scared of saying it, so I'll put the idea out there in a joking manner and I can play it off as just a joke if I get a bad reaction"
Its something girls do alot. I've had girls I've dated make jokes about things they wanted me to do as their way of putting themselves out there without just belly flopping out in the open and hoping that I jump too afterwards.
The next time you talk to her, watch her eyes. Eye contact says alot about what a girl is thinking. One of my favorite things to notice is girls checking out lips. When a girl wants to do something, she glances at the part she wants to do it to. I've caught almost every girl I've ever dated checking out my lips during conversation without realizing it. Its a dead giveaway that the girl I'm talking to is thinking about kissing me.
Make eye contact with her, smile at her, compliment her, and return physical contact. You like her touching you in general, touch her back. It lets her know that not only is it OK, but that you like it when she does it and you want her to do it more.
And the very next time you see her, return her joke. Drop in something like "so you've had my number how long and you haven't asked me out yet? Are you planning to wait until we're old and wrinkly?" or anything along those lines. Said with a mischievous grin and a giggle, you'll get the point across without saying anything too blatantly out there, after all you're just repeating what she said, right? ;-)
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so i moved in with a guy that i am going to cheer with next year but come to find out he is super hott and feels the same way about me. we flirt like crazy have great chemistry and i love being around him. we ended up having sex two nights before i had to go back to my hometown to take care of things and it was the best ever. although i dont have much of a problem with this.. he is a mistery. he doesnt tell me what he is thinking or feeling about some things.. with him i guess its more of action speak louder than words. we hooked up before ever talkin about what we wanted or anything like that so im not sure if sex is all he wants. to be honest im okay with whatever he wants because i dont mind not being serious with anyone i love being single but if he wanted to get serious i wouldnt mind it either cus i do kinda have feelings for him. either way i wouldnt get hurt. but he does things that kind of show me he maybe likes me more than that cus he always invites me to go out with him he cuddles with me and always spends time with me. and one night this girl he used to have a thing for before me was flirting with him and tryin to be all over him and he gently and subtly pushed her away and moved next to me. i want to know what he wants though and one problem with me and him is that we both arent very open ppl. i dont like to just throw my feelings out there i have always had guys be the ones to do it first.. but in this case i guess my roommate is just like me. he doesnt open up that easily either. what should i say that would help open him up to letting me know what he wants or how he feels about me without being too pushy, obsessive, or obvious? and what kind of relationshpi do you think we should have since we are living together. should we get seroius, just hook up, or be a little more than that without the title. please and thanks for the help! (link)
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Complicated question.
You're thinking things that need to be addressed.
First, sex only isn't going to work. Sure, it seems fine now. But you already are interested in more, that interest is going to intensify and become a need further down the line.
If things stay casual, as soon as he does end up in an actual relationship with someone else its probably going to fuck with you pretty badly. Being jealous of your room mate whom you have the responsibility of paying rent with will be a huge issue.
Its really hard to know what to tell you to do, because your living situation hinges on whats going on.
If you ask for more and don't get it, you will eventually resent him for it. I know you said you won't get hurt, but people don't work that way. I severely doubt that you could have an extended sexual relationship and then get dropped when he finds someone who he can have a relationship with, and be alright with it. That first night you listen to him have sex with another girl will be lonely and painful.
Going with the flow is a bad idea. It needs to be addressed one way or another. If you have romantic interests in him pursue that. Bring it up and put yourself out there.
My suggestion (best I can do) is to tell you that you should put it out there as "I'd like to explore what we just did a bit more if you want to. If you don't, I'm cool with just being room mates, but I'd kinda like to figure this out before we've been living together for six months"
That would be my approach in a situation like this. I wouldn't suggest a non-dating sexual relationship with a room mate you just met. This is your housing situation, its not something you want to fuck up. Don't forget, theres two people here, and it just takes one of you to make it impossible to live together.
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I always seem to go for the underdog in situations. The sort of self-conscious, not very attractive, nerdy funny sort of guys. I know there shouldn't be anything wrong with this, but I feel embarrassed in front of my friends. They all seem to think that I just lack self-esteem and go for people "not in my league"; people they wouldn't even glance at. This has stopped me from entering relationships or sexual relationships. I know I shouldn't care, it's not my friends' lives, it's mine, but still I worry they may be right. That I pick people based on feeling better about myself, or because i am incapable of being vulnerable, or something. It's bad because I do like to have the upper hand, so to speak.
I don't know how to feel about this. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated! (link)
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You're never going to be happy as long as your friends _possible_ opinions determine what you choose to do and not to do.
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how come after i use a vibrator it makes me stomach hurt for at leaste 10 min. it can go on for up to 20 min though. & during sex or after my stomach doesnt hurt. & while using the vibrator it doesnt hurt either. but right after im done using it, it immediatly starts hurting. why is this? is there something wrong? (link)
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Two possibilities that I can think of off the top of my head.
1) orgasm intensity can tire you out and make muscles sore
2) You're poking yourself in the cervix.
I'd say the second is more likely, if your vibrators longer than your boyfriend its very possible you're hitting yourself in places he can't quite reach.
Try being a bit more gentle and shallow, see if that helps. If it doesn't, its probably orgasm intensity.
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Me and my ex went out for about 19 months. Near the end of the relatinship, i worked two jobs working every single day almost and went to school full time. (im 17 hes 18 in college) Whenever i wanted to hang out on my one day off or whatever, he would find other things to do. I felt like his last priority, and i finally broke up with him just cause i was so pissed one day cause we were supposed to hang out and he completely ditched me, he never acted sorry. Anyways, that night he got with a girl. I wouldnt talk to him no matter what he said for 2 months. Then i saw him at a party. Ever since hes been trying to get me back. But one weekend he went away for this drink fest concert, he claims he heard shit about me and another guy talking and he got his dick sucked by this bitch and he fingered her, and he showered with her twice cause it was like all muddy there it was outside. Anyways, he never told me, and i found out about 4 days later. He says he did it cause he heard shit about me and this guy, which everyone around here thinks was true so its not like a suprise, but still. To not tell me and do that shit fucked up. Its been a few weeks since, Day in and day out he has been doing anything anything and everything he possibly can to get me back, to the point where its so annoying. I loved him the first year of our whole relationshio, i couldnt have pictured anyting better but as all relationships shit changed.
Honestly, i know taking him back would be stupid. I wont let him kiss me nothing. I wanna be his friend till i figure things out, cause its summer and im having so much fun. Would it be stupid to take him back honestly if he never gives up for like four months? Cause i dont plan to anytime soon, i just know its easier to find excuses and forgive someone and be with them, and i dont wanna be stupid like that cause i see a lot of my friends do it. (link)
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Why does it say you're 14 in your "about the questioner"?
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Guys, please explain to me why after hooking up interest is lost so quickly. Is there a way to bring that interest back? Why after hooking up with a woman too quickly, men usually lose interest completely? What goes through your minds the next day after that quickly? This has happened to me time and time again! I hook up with a guy that I really like and who seems to like me and then he stops talking to me, won't answer his phone, won't reply to my emails anymore, etc. What do guys think after they hook-up with a girl that makes them not want to see/talk to her again? It makes me feel like trash. (link)
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Hmm. How to explain this.
I have slept with a few girls whom I didn't call back after. Usually, what ended up happening is sex was basically handed to me on a silver platter. I was single, horny, and didn't have a particular reason to say no.
There never was an interest in those cases to begin with. But when a girl came onto me, judgement lapses meant that I allowed it to happen. Even when I was stupid enough to try to "be clear that it was just sex" I should have known that probably wasn't the case.
For the record, I don't do shit like that anymore.
Hooking up is not something you do to generate interest, and its not something you immediately if you want more than just the physical with someone. Doesn't matter if you're fucking them or just making out randomly at a party (since I know teens decided to adopt the term and use it for any casual physical interactions, not just casual sex) if you're doing something like that its intended to be casual.
The flirting game is about more than just generating interest. Its part of an evauluation process where people figure out if they want to be interested in each other.
I know that it "seems" like guys want to hook up (and, well, yes we often do) but that doesn't mean that its the best way to get with one of us. When you involve the physical too early, unless the guy is already definitely interested in more, he isn't going to pursue it. Even then, if you start a relationship based on sex its almost always doomed to failure. Very few people have the maturity to start a relationship with others when sex is immediately involved, even as adults.
You're assuming that you did something wrong to make them not be interested, the fact is that they more than likely never were in the first place. Whatever signs you're reading into "they like me" is actually just physical attraction.
Your criteria is shallow, and so are theres. When two shallow people interact, the interactions themselves are shallow. Thats the essence of hooking up, the person you're with is just a placeholder, you don't give a shit who they are as long as you can find them attractive in the moment and can get laid or whatever it is you're doing with them. Its shallow because the conditions are easily satisfied, all that has to exist is mutual physical attraction and the ability to tolerate each other for very short periods of time.
You want more? Go deeper. Actually go through the dating process, make a guy prove that he wants more than sex before you provide it. The sad fact is that at your age (under 20, probably still in high school) that most guys aren't mature enough to do more than they have to to get what they want. If your standards are high, you weed out alot of the worthless ones simply because you're too much trouble.
And before their early 20s, alot of guys fit that category. Some of them will grow up eventually, a lot of them won't. Sad fact of life. But if you don't change the behavior and start acting like you want more than sex, you won't find guys who are willing to give you more than that.
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my periods 3 weeks late
im very moody
ive gained weight
i get nausea, only thrown up once
im breakin out
im constipated
im very tired or get fatigue easily
my nipples hurt
i get headaches (which is normal for me though)
i pee a lot
ive been eatin like a beast
and ive had unprotected sex
so this means im probably pregnant right ? :/
16/f (link)
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Its been long enough that a test should be almost 100% accurate. Go buy one.
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A lot of my friends are starting to play this World of Warcraft WOW game. Some of my friends stay on the game all day long. It's like they become absolutely obsessed with WOW. I know games can be really fun but I don't understand how you can spend literally days on one specific game, nonstop. Anybody know what's so fun about it? (link)
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WoW is tuned to take time.
The addiction starts because the mechanics themselves can be pretty fun. One of the biggest draws is the ability to group up.
I used to do a good bit of raiding, so I'll illustrate how it works.
When you first log into WoW, you might play for a few hours. In those few hours, you might go up as much as ten levels. Whoo! New powers, new places, you're running all over the place exploring a new world and meeting random people.
You log back in the next day and go out again, playing for the same amount of time. This time, you only go up four levels, though you get some interesting new powers.
You log back in the next day and go out again, and you only gain two and a half levels. You consider logging off, but whats an extra half hour to gain the rest of that third level going to cost you? Nothing, right? So you go ahead and finish that level.
So on and so forth, until it takes you several hours to gain one level.
Ok, well you're doing fine, you can still play just an hour or two a day. Then one day you get a message asking you to join an instance. Killing shit with people? Sounds good! You've already been playing for three hours, but you've not played much with people, so you jump on it.
You stop what you're doing, and run your butt to wherever the instance is. It takes about fifteen minutes to get organized enough to start, and then another hour or two to clear the instance.
Hmm, you just spent more than 4 hours playing. Oh well, it was fun, right?
The insidious part about this, is that they're softening you up for being max level. When gaining levels, you can quit whenever, you still have whatever progress you made to call your own. Every experience point stays there waiting for you.
You get to max level, and suddenly it doesn't work the same way. You've got all the powers you can get, so now its all about your gear and random goodies. You've made enough friends to be in a guild, and the guild is raiding. So you decide you want to try raiding.
Oh wait, your gear sucks, so you've got to go run some instances to get better gear before you can go on the raid and actually help.
Oh wait, your gear sucks, so no one will take you on an instance, so you've got to grind rep and level some professions to make and buy some better gear.
So now you're off in the middle of nowhere killing things as fast as you can so that you can catch up to everyone else in gear. And because of the way its tuned, you're looking at 30 hours of investment minimum before you can even raid.
Now you're raiding. You spent four days playing nonstop to get the gear you needed (probably a severe understatement) and you want to raid.
Well, your guild hasn't cleared the raid yet, so you're looking at a 4-6 hour sit down. You go in and die seven times on the second boss. Two people got a new piece of armor, and the rest of you have to pay to repair your gear because dying breaks it eventually.
Crap, you're broke. So you go and kill things for money to fix your broken armor. You realize that you need money to play regularly, and you realize that in addition to the 4 nights a week of 4-6 hours raiding, you've got to get on for an hour or so a day to make money to pay for all the stuff you need to raid.
Oh, and you want a cool mount, which takes plenty of time in and of itself. Before you realize it, doing everything you want to in World of Warcraft is a 40+ hour a week commitment.
Which is why it destroys lives.
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