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my roommate
so i moved in with a guy that i am going to cheer with next year but come to find out he is super hott and feels the same way about me. we flirt like crazy have great chemistry and i love being around him. we ended up having sex two nights before i had to go back to my hometown to take care of things and it was the best ever. although i dont have much of a problem with this.. he is a mistery. he doesnt tell me what he is thinking or feeling about some things.. with him i guess its more of action speak louder than words. we hooked up before ever talkin about what we wanted or anything like that so im not sure if sex is all he wants. to be honest im okay with whatever he wants because i dont mind not being serious with anyone i love being single but if he wanted to get serious i wouldnt mind it either cus i do kinda have feelings for him. either way i wouldnt get hurt. but he does things that kind of show me he maybe likes me more than that cus he always invites me to go out with him he cuddles with me and always spends time with me. and one night this girl he used to have a thing for before me was flirting with him and tryin to be all over him and he gently and subtly pushed her away and moved next to me. i want to know what he wants though and one problem with me and him is that we both arent very open ppl. i dont like to just throw my feelings out there i have always had guys be the ones to do it first.. but in this case i guess my roommate is just like me. he doesnt open up that easily either. what should i say that would help open him up to letting me know what he wants or how he feels about me without being too pushy, obsessive, or obvious? and what kind of relationshpi do you think we should have since we are living together. should we get seroius, just hook up, or be a little more than that without the title. please and thanks for the help!
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Complicated question.
You're thinking things that need to be addressed.
First, sex only isn't going to work. Sure, it seems fine now. But you already are interested in more, that interest is going to intensify and become a need further down the line.
If things stay casual, as soon as he does end up in an actual relationship with someone else its probably going to fuck with you pretty badly. Being jealous of your room mate whom you have the responsibility of paying rent with will be a huge issue.
Its really hard to know what to tell you to do, because your living situation hinges on whats going on.
If you ask for more and don't get it, you will eventually resent him for it. I know you said you won't get hurt, but people don't work that way. I severely doubt that you could have an extended sexual relationship and then get dropped when he finds someone who he can have a relationship with, and be alright with it. That first night you listen to him have sex with another girl will be lonely and painful.
Going with the flow is a bad idea. It needs to be addressed one way or another. If you have romantic interests in him pursue that. Bring it up and put yourself out there.
My suggestion (best I can do) is to tell you that you should put it out there as "I'd like to explore what we just did a bit more if you want to. If you don't, I'm cool with just being room mates, but I'd kinda like to figure this out before we've been living together for six months"
That would be my approach in a situation like this. I wouldn't suggest a non-dating sexual relationship with a room mate you just met. This is your housing situation, its not something you want to fuck up. Don't forget, theres two people here, and it just takes one of you to make it impossible to live together.
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