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Weird attractions
I always seem to go for the underdog in situations. The sort of self-conscious, not very attractive, nerdy funny sort of guys. I know there shouldn't be anything wrong with this, but I feel embarrassed in front of my friends. They all seem to think that I just lack self-esteem and go for people "not in my league"; people they wouldn't even glance at. This has stopped me from entering relationships or sexual relationships. I know I shouldn't care, it's not my friends' lives, it's mine, but still I worry they may be right. That I pick people based on feeling better about myself, or because i am incapable of being vulnerable, or something. It's bad because I do like to have the upper hand, so to speak.
I don't know how to feel about this. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
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You don't deserve any of those guys if youre referring to them as "out of your league" or you having the "upper hand". That's crap. If you can't treat them as equals or like them enough to bring them around your friends then they deserve so much better than you.
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You're never going to be happy as long as your friends _possible_ opinions determine what you choose to do and not to do.
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I agree with the comment from NinjaNeer. You should be proud to like a different type of guy. Watch, those popular boys will be so unattractive when they grow old. They'll have bald spots. most of them. From expiernce that's what has happened. This may not help you a ton, but I just want to make you feel better about liking that type. Don't listen to your friends. Tell them your an individual and your proud to be one.
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Sounds to me like your friends are being shallow!
Everyone goes for the attractive, confident, loud guys. Everyone. And they all miss out!
You're smart enough to see that the guys who are worth dating are the ones who are a little quieter, who have more than their appearances going for them, and who can make you laugh.
Relationships are not all about appearances. Some of the guys I've dated who were "beneath my league" were the nicest ones I've been with.
What's really important in a relationship? Mutual attraction, caring, laughter, and fun. If these guys fulfill those qualities, they're dating material.
If your friends don't like it, confront them directly. "What are you, shallow?". Being called shallow always freaks people out. Nobody wants to be branded "deep as a puddle".
Just be happy that while they're wasting their time with really hot jerks, you'll be enjoying real relationships with awesome guys whose beauty isn't skin deep.
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