about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

can you give me some advice on how to get to know someone better that you are interested in? i have this persons number and were friends on facebook but thats it and i met them once .. he lives about 25-30 mins away also and hes friends with one of my good friends.. just some backround info to help you answer my question =) thanks.

Maybe try to hang out with them and your friend and go see a movie or something.

Maybe start talking to him on facebook and ask if he texts, then maybe you can text him.

But personally, the best way to get to know someone is in person, unless of course that isn't something that is plausible.

Thanks for inboxing. =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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oh ok.

Uhm, alright then.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Hey Jack!

I love your column. You give the best advice!

It makes a lot of sense to sty single until college. Relationships are so complicated!

I have a problem actually. A boy & I wer dating for a month, wev been on & off for a few years though.

Anyay, he promised he wasnt like all boys, he was more mature, hed always be with me, etc.

In the end, he turned out to be a lying manipulator. So i dumped him.

Now i dont MISS him per say, but its still tough seeing him in school. & talking to him is the worst. We are in the same group in math...

Anyway, its only been two days. I dont know what to do! I want us to be friends. Eventually. How do i make that happen? How do i handle this breakup with class? How much of an explanation do i owe him?

Am i suposed to call him to let him know i need to give him a few of his things back, or do i keep them until he asks for them? Im just a confused 14 year old girl!

Thank you so much,

Leona

Hey. Thanks for inboxing me =].

I am actually pretty good friends with my last girlfriend, who is obviously now my ex.

Just give it time. It took her and I about three months before we could actually get over it and move on. The more you try to push being friends again so soon, the less likely it will happen. Like I said, just give it time.

You don't really owe him an explanation unless he asks for it. Now I'm not saying to just not talk to him at all, I'm saying you should maybe clear up any misunderstandings with him, and then let the friendship come back with time.

As far as the things go, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps you shouldn't mention it unless he brings it up and asks for things back. If he doesn't, I would say after three or four months you should give it back. Then again, I could be completely wrong about that.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Why can I shove a needle in my ear and put jewelry in it, but not do the same thing to my nose or eyebrow, without it being sinful?

I just want to know where in the Bible it says ear piercings are acceptable, and any other body piercings aren't.

I'm not really sure where in the Bible it says that, or if it even does.

Nor do I have any idea why you're asking me this.

To me personally, I think ear piercings are okay to an extent. By that I mean that they shouldn't be up the ear in every possible spot. One or two holes is enough.

Other body piercings are just sick to me. They are very unattractive and I'm not sure where the textual evidence is in the Bible, but I'm sure it's there.

I'm sorry if that really doesn't help you out much.


**EDIT**
I never said I tolerated divorce. In fact, I am almost 100% against divorce. Personally I don't have to deal with piercings myself, so I really don't have an opinion on it. If a girl has them on her ears, I don't really mind. But having them elsewhere is just disgusting to me.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I am a 17 year old male.
I play guitar and can do an awesome SKA upstroke.
I'm trying to put together a ska band but am unsure about writing songs, like how would I go about writing music and lyrics for a ska band?
Also would it be extremely devastating to a ska band to not have trombones?

This may not help a lot, but listen to "Five Iron Frenzy".

They're a ska band that Relient K does a tribute to in "Five Iron Frenzy is Either Dead or Dying" or something like that.

Check it out ;]

--Jack
(17/m)

*Today is my birthday ;]

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you serious..?
good bye.

Uhm, this isn't even a question.

If you would like to talk to me, please go to my forum. The link is on my column.

--Jack
(17/m)

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hello. ok, so today I was talking to my best guy friend about my boyfriend. I asked what my boyfriend has been saying, just because I was curious and they're really good friends too.

well, my guy friend told me that my boyfriend said something about how "he really does like me, but he doesn't know if the relationship is going anywhere." and then my friend told me how my boyfriend said that "the relationship was really awkward at first [because it was...] but then it got better." I thought that was where we stood now seeing as we've been A LOT closer lately. I was kind of thrown off because I thought everything was going well with my boyfriend, but the whole "don't know if it's going anywhere" bit sounded kind of...bad.

So when guys say something like that, what does it usually mean? Am I just overr eacting? And do you have any tips on how I can show him I really DO want to make this go somewhere, because I really do...

Ehh all guys are different.

If you REALLY want to know what he meant, ask him.

Personally, I wouldn't really ever say that because usually I'm the one who takes it slow, so I don't really know.

Just talk to him ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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yah thats true.
:[

What is true?

I'm sorry, I can't see who you are or what you're referring to.

If you have a question, please retype it ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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this morning my boyfriend was sitting down at the table and then my best friend came and started giving him a massage on the shulders,then after that she started pushing him and then she stopped.then i stood up because it was time to leave and he stayed there sitting down and i left and then he started chassing me.and everytime i stand up he always stands up too.i just think he wanted my friend to do it again prob because that turns him on or something.idk.i dont know i just need some advice on this one,cuz nobody will help me.i dont even know what type of friend is that. :(

Confront your friend about it, and let them know how it makes you feel.

Then tell your boyfriend.

Give both of them one more chance to prove themselves to you, in that they won't do this anymore.

If they don't- well then they really aren't the type of people you should be surrounding yourself with.

--Jack
(16/m)

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ok,so i have a boyfriend and he works from monday to saturday,he only comes to my house on friday,and saturday because on sunday's he has to help his brother at work,when he comes to my house he comes around 7 in dha night.and when there is no school he goes to work he dont even bother to stay with me,but if i tell him oh there is no school tomorrow come to my house to have sex then there he would come right away.is like i dont get it,on saturday he came at 8 in dha night with his friend and i was kind of pist because he came at that time,sometimes i think he dosent'even cares,because i think that if he was a tru man he would come on sundaysz nd spend a litle time with me and then leave.tomorrow i aint even gonna look at him,if yu were in my position what will you do,nd sorry if this si too lonq,i just nedd someone to help me cuz i dont have nobody to help me :[

I refuse to answer your question unless I can read it without much difficulty.

Please retype your question without chatspeak and I will help you.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Whats the best?
I just need to know which would open the most doors for me. I don't care about price.

The only one I really know of is Julliard.

http://www.juilliard.edu/

It's in New York ;]

--Jack
(16/m)


**EDIT**

I don't know if you'll see this, but I misread your question. For that, I apologize.

Here is a performing arts boarding high school:

http://www.laguardiahs.org/home.html

Sorry again!

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I was just curious to know, who you want to win the election '08?

My mom and i want obama, but literally the rest of my family wants mccain. I just would like to see how many people want obama, and how many want mccain.

All answers will help :]

Thanks!

People need to wake up and realize that Obama really isn't going to be able to fix all of America's problems.

People are so blinded by the word "Change". What a great campaign slogan; when things aren't looking well- change is seemingly the answer.

But change to what? Obama never really answers that question. I honestly don't feel he gives a crap about anyone but himself.

The real politician would spend their campaign talking about the issues and what they are going to do about them- not bashing McCain when obviously he's more qualified.

Plus, not to be racist, but it is not the time for a black president. There are still MANY racist people in this country- and there's no telling what will happen if he's elected and it upsets people.

I'm sure assassination attempts are always a problem in a presidency, but I honestly don't see Obama lasting very long in office. I don't mean that as disrespectful in any way. I'm just saying that perhaps there are people in this country who are not ready for that progression yet.

There's always my irksomeness toward his ability to actually run the country. He may have all of these phenomenal ideas, but he doesn't seem like he will actually be able to implement any of them. They are perhaps a bit too... ambitious. Obama has made far too many promises I do not believe he can keep.

I just hope that if he wins, he is only president for one term, not two. I don't know if I could handle 8 years with a man who doesn't support the right to life, which is the most important issue in my mind.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

First of all, I love your advice. I asked this question to everybody, but I wanted your individual opinion... just, since you are a guy, what would a girl have to do for you to really notice her?

Me and this guy I have a huge crush on are in our schools band together. We know eathothers names and say hi to eachother and we chat somtimes at band practice and competitions. The problem is, I dont know how do get any closer to him! Yesterday, I went out of my way to sit by him in the bleachers at our band competition, and I talked to him alot durring it, but never really got into any real conversation, just like little comments. I am not shy at all, but I really just cant think of anything to do to get his attention and get him thinking about me. He probably just thought it was a fluke that I sat next to him for all that time yesterday, if he even thought about it at all. I want to invite him to do somthing with my freinds, because he is sorta friends with some of the guys in my group, but my friends havn't done anything lately as a group that would be appropiate to ask him to come to. Another problem is, we only have one week left of band practices and competition... then its totally over for the year, and I dont even have any classes with him. So please help! I really really like him but only have one week to get him! Any ideas?

Oh yes, and I want to flirt with him, but I just dont want it to be too obvious, because you know how it is when you're with your friends and one of them is getting flirted with really hard, and as soon as the flirter leaves you all talk about it and discuss it with the person who was getting flirted with... you know what I mean? Like, I dont wnat to flirt with him alot and then as soon as I leave all his friends will turn to him and say "Woah! She was really trying hard to pick you up, huh?" So what are some really subtle ways that I can lure him in without making a scene?

There is only one word I can say that may remotely help you:

Confidence.

If you don't have it, you won't be able to talk to him. If you don't have it, you won't be able to talk about yourself. If you don't have it, there's really no point in trying to flirt with him.

Here's some flirting tips I've given to other people:

1. Smile! If you're not smiling, chances are the guy won't be interested.
2. Don't always talk about yourself, let him talk about himself, too! Balance the conversation. Yes, conversations are a HUGE way to flirt more indirectly ;].
3. Think about what you do. Don't just blindly go around flirting with everyone. Some people don't want to flirt, and you can tell by their body language, facial expressions, etc.
4. Be nice. I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls be complete bitches. It's SO irritating. If you're not nice, then it isn't worth the effort. Guys don't like bitches.
5. BE YOURSELF! I know you said not to say this, but as the above question told you, if you aren't yourself- who are you going to be? You aren't being truthful with the guy if you're making up things about yourself or you're doing things you normally wouldn't do. The guy will get the wrong impression and may like something about you that isn't even a part of you.
6. HAVE FUN! If you aren't at least doing that, I don't know what to tell you ;]


Here's a question I've answered before that has a pretty long answer on how to start a conversation if that's what you're worried about. I won't copy it since it's too long, but I'll give you the link:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090



Thanks for inboxing, and I'm flattered you like my advice ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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so im 16/f.
this guy is 16/m

hes one of my best friends but hes a TOTAL flirt w/ everyone,hes bi too so its with EVERYONE,literally. he knows i like him but he doesnt wanna go out, he says "its bad timing" or "he doesnt wanna ruin our friendship or hurt me" which is somewhat true i guess. but something about him is amazing. he brings out the crazy amazing side of me i never thought anyone could bring out in me. some people dont like his huge ego, but i like almost everything bout him, except his flirtatiousness towards everyone. i've let it pass by trying to just be a good friend,but hes flirty with me too which makes it hard. hes a sexual person, and im not really, i dont want to go out w/ him and him expect sex from me or something, and he knows that, its just, i don't know what to do because theirs that saying when you cant go a day without thinking of someone, maybe that's a sign...i dont know what to do, we've talked about dating so many times it would be way weird if i brought it up AGAIN. any suggestions
p.s- homecoming is this weekend, hes on homecoming court and i thought I'd be his escort, but instead he got a 19 yr old hot guy. I'd like to dance with him but hes SO flirty, he probably wont give me the time of day because hes so different around school people.
(sorry it was so long)
thank you SOOO much!

Hey.

Honestly, since I know you, this is a lot easier. But even if I didn't, I would say that you have your entire life ahead of you. No one says you have to find your soul mate right here and right now. In fact, if you DO find your soul mate in high school, you're pretty lucky.

There are SO many people out there who would give you the time of day; so many people would not be as two-faced as your friend seems.

My advice is to get over him as quickly as you can, and find someone else. I know that can and will be hard, but you just have to trust that there is someone out there who you will like more, who you may even love, and who will love you and give you the respect you deserve.

Thanks for inboxing. ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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hey so ive seen the video two girls one cup but i want to show it to my friend, whats the link

Honestly there are plenty of other ways you could amuse your friends.

How about telling them a joke or two? Even if they are corny. Seriously.

This video you speak of is appallingly disgusting and I don't see how anyone would actually WANT to view it.

You say you've seen it, but I however don't believe you have. If you REALLY did, you wouldn't be asking for the link to it, would you?

Oh, caught you in a lie. How very unfortunate.

God Bless You.

--Jack
(16/m)

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1) When is it coming out?

2) Is it the whole series or just the first one?

Twilight took Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince's spot on November 21st, 2008.

And if the movie were about the ENTIRE series, it wouldn't be finished right now. The 4th book came out August 2nd. So let's think [sorry for the sarcasm], if the movie was finished in July, how could it possibly include Breaking Dawn?

And what movie have you ever heard of that was about 4 books?

Haha sorry I just had to say it ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

(this WILL be long)

i'm 15 f. turning 16 in december.
katie just turned 14 [but shes in my grade]

Okay, last night my friend was having problems with her boyfriend.. he refused to drive her home or anywhere so i asked my boyfriend to go and get katie.

after helping her and listening to her bash on and on about her boyfriend, my mom comes upstairs and asks what we want for dinner. we dont want anything because im not hungry and katie had food at her house.

after katie and dave talked and worked everything out (via text message & phone calls) he said that he'll pick her up to talk it out more and in a more mature way talking face to face. okay..

katie offers for me to sleep over. i say okay, but my moms asleep. ill leave a note. well, right when were about to leave [and get into katies boyfriends car] my mom is coming upstairs. i whisper "shit, katie, hold my bag!" my mom says to katie & I, "what are you guys doing?" i said "i'm sleeping over katies house tonight i dont have any plans (this is like at 10 at night)". my mom was like whos driving? Well, you should always tell the truth because in the end itll just come out bad. "katies boyfriend". my mom went off the walls. she was like "I'm not allowing katie to get in the car with a boy. laura, you're staying home. katie, get your mom on the fucking [sorry for the language] phone!!!" i go "MOM, WHAT THE FUCK, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" i text my boyfriend saying "i'm sorry we cant hang out at katies tonight".

katie maturely gets her mom on the phone on her cell phone. well, my mom goes. HANG UP THE PHONE. i go.. "what the fuck mom you either want to talk to her or you DONT!" katie is like "karen, this is the only way i have to get home, so i need to take this ride. i'm getting in that car, my mom knows about it, please, chill out" my mom starts to argue with her! "katie get your mom on the phone, write down her number right now! i'm not allowing you to get in the car with a guy when i dont have your parents permission." while im just sitting there watching my mom flip a shit at my friend.. i'm getting heated as shit.

my mom calls katies moms cell phone, because her mom was out to dinner with family. "it went to voicemail and it only said please leave a message, now i dont know who the fuck i called". yet again.. im getting more and more heated. and so is katie. katie says "here, ill give you my house number" my mom calls and no one answers because yet again, THEIR OUT TO DINNER!

well, katies boyfriend shows up and he calls "katie, im here come outside please its cold" she says to my mom "well, hes here, dave hold on a second". my mom goes "who the fuck is DAVE?" she goes "my boyfriend" my mom goes "how old is he?" she says "17" i go "MOM SINCE WHEN WAS IT YOUR FUCKING BUISNESS HOW FUCKING OLD HE IS, MOM GROW THE FUCK UP (my boyfriend calls and i ment to press scilent but i accidentally answered) SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SERIOUSLY GO FUCK YOURSELF. I FUCKING HATE YOU MOM YOU'RE EMBARISSING THE SHIT OUT OF ME. HONESTLY, I WANT YOU OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW, THATS THE HONEST TRUTH." well, my mom didnt even answer that. so katie goes "hes waiting outside, i have to go" and she just walks out. well, now becuase of her actions, im grounded. i cant go out for a week. my mom is offically physco and says "whenever you go to a friends house, or whenever they come over here, i HAVE TO TALK TO A PARENT!"

it's like my mom doesn't trust me anymore! what do i do, what do i say to her? i honestly did NOTHING! i dont even know what I! did wrong. last night i was about to kill myself, im not even kidding. it's like my mom cant accept that im growing up and that i WILL make mistakes, [oh btw my boyfriends turning 18 in november.] and she doesnt approve that my boyfriends 2 years older then i am. what ever happened to the saying "age doesnt matter?" do any of you know where im coming from? suhfiauh i need so much help, PLEASE

Honestly, I think cussing out your mother was not the smartest thing you could have done, and that probably didn't help your cause.

I can see where your mom is coming from; there have been so many instances in the news where people have friends over and the parent just lets them do whatever or go wherever with anybody, and then something happens to them. Who, then, is responsible?

Well the parent will be blamed. Your mom just wanted to make sure that Katie's parents knew she was getting a ride from someone else. She didn't want to be held responsible for anything should something have happened to Katie. Honestly that's not overreacting or psycho in the slightest.

I think, if anything, you should apologize to your mother for yelling at her and you should just talk to her about your punishment. Let her know you don't think it's fair that you're being punished because of your friend. I can understand her punishing you for the way your acted toward her, but not really for your friend's actions.

Thanks for inboxing.

--Jack
(16/m)

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14/m. my girlfriend is comeing over soon n im so nervous. when we kiss we makeout n shes the sweetest ever, last time we were all over eachother n it was my very first kiss, i jacked off, n my boner made her jump, then i started to... and get really into it. then she got off me i felt soooo bad, she didnt do it ina mean way she just did her little cute smile then kissed my cheek then sat back with my arm around her. im scared if it happens again, what would i do?

Sounds to me like you went farther than you were comfortable with.

Talk to her about what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with.

Establish ground rules.

Really it's probably not worth it to lose your virginity at such a young age.

I say just watch a movie and hold hands or something- nothing too big.

Thanks for inboxing.

--Jack
(16/m)

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im kinda looking for inspirational songs, that have meaning, they can be sad, happy, rock, alternative, anything, i guess.

Anything by the following artists:

The Rocket Summer
Relient K
Tony Oller

Search on youtube for them, but one of the most inspirational songs I've heard recently is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4sWkahtzMw&feature=related


I think you'll like him. He's good =]

--Jack
(16/m)

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i went out with this guy for almost 8 months last year.
but he cheated on me at least 4 times. and the last time was with my best friend. well he was my first real relationship so i never really got over him. well i went all summer without dating anyone cause i knew i still loved him. since it was summer i didnt see him that much and i was starting to get over him, but now that school started i realized how much i still really like him, and that i really miss him. well he was going out with my best friend and it killed me.
but one day he texted me and told me that he still really liked me and that he wished he was with me instead of her. well he broke up with her but i knew that if we went out right away that she would freak out, so we decided that we could just not tell people. well he asked me out last night and dropped off his homecoming mum at my house and asked me if i would wear it and be his girlfriend. and i said yes. but what i didnt know is that he was on his way to a school bible study thing that was at my best friends house. and he was holding her hand and was getting close with her at FCA (the bible study) and then once he left he texted her and said oh well im going out with reagan(me). and so i broke up with him, and my mom forbids me from going out with him unless he really changes for the best. but i know im still not over him, and i want to be with him. which is rediculous because hes hurt me so many times.
can you help me? should i give him another chance once he changes?

No, find someone new.

I'm sorry to be blunt, be he cheated on you FOUR times. What makes you think he won't do it again?

He will. That's all there is to it.

Thanks for inboxing.

--Jack
(16/m)

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