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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Hi there,
I just recently got an 11 mo. Golden retriever/spitz mix and I am still learning a lot. I have done my research and will be looking to get her a trainer for some possible behavioral problems. She barks every time she sees a dog or person. Her bark gets louder when she especially sees kids and dogs. I think she was bitten by a dog before because there was this huge scab on her tail and the foster mother said that the people that gave her away had kids who bopped her on the nose, so she doesn't like kids either. I have desensitized her from the noise around us, and she doesn't bark as often as she use to when we first brought her to our apartment. I kept treating her every time I noticed that she heard a noise and didn't bark. I recently got her a muzzle, so that people around us would feel safe. There are residents here who walk their dogs often and go out on walks themselves. I don't want her barking to make them feel uncomfortable. This morning I took her out for a walk with her muzzle on and was able to have a conversation with one of my neighbors. I asked if my neighbor would let my dog smell her and she said it was okay and my dog was very friendly towards her afterwards and stopped barking after she got to know my neighbor. Is my dog barking out of excitement? Friendliness? or Aggression? The organization that we got her from said she was friendly with dogs and people, but that was the only occasion where I have seen her friendly with someone other than the vet. Other than that she barks at everyone and their dog. I should have given her a treat after she stopped barking at my neighbor, but that was really unexpected and I didn't bring any treats.
The Answer
Although the peeing when meeting someone new is annoying - that is actually a great sign. It's means she is probably submissive and excited, not aggressive.
Your best bet really is getting a trainer to work with you and her to curb the barking, to work on socialization, and to help you be the pack leader... and you should do that as soon as you possibly can.
The barking will die down when she learns you don't like it, when she is more familiar with the people around her, and when you are the pack leader - so she knows she doesn't need to flip out about every new person - she'll look to you to let her know how to behave.
In the mean time, I think you are doing the right thing. Try to make friends with your neighbours - there will always be some jerks - but generally speaking people who own dogs, like dogs, and understand that a young animal rescue needs some gentle socialization.
A bit of advice, but clearly anything I say should be run by your trainer when you get one:
Although the muzzle might be a good way to curb the barking in say, the very early morning, don't come to rely on it to stop the barking all together. It will be a crutch. It will also keep other people away from you - since they will assume your dog is aggressive. During daytime hours, take her out without it, and reward her for correct behaviour.
Bring treats. Always. Constantly. Walk around your house with treats in your pocket so you can reward good behaviour the moment it happens. Dogs do not have long memories, you have to treat them exactly when the good behaviour happens, even five seconds later they don't make the connection.
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The Question
Is Demi Lovato against the LGBT community? Like, I know she's religious. All answers appreciated.
The Answer
She's tweeted in favour of marriage equality, and participated in the NO H8 champaign against the law in California that would have defined marriage as between a man and woman.
I doubt she is homophobic AND supports marriage equality. I suppose it's possible, but it seems unlikely.
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The Question
I could write thousands of pages about the annoyances of my boyfriends sister (probably going to become my sister in law, yikes) but I'll try to keep it short. But to give you a brief idea, she is extremely clingy to my boyfriend (her brother) and now she has latched herself onto me as well. She is one of those pretty girls who is extremely cocky of herself but in truth is very alone but portrays herself to be so popular and loved, fabricates these huge stories to make herself seem interesting, blahblah. She's pushed herself into many situations between my boyfriend and I, shows up to the house and places we're going uninvited and when she does, usually brings drama (usually boy oriented cause she's been with basically all his friends) everywhere she goes. Always will try and work wherever my boyfriend is working. So, she's just everywhere. She's 22 as well as I, so though yes 22's still young, this is ridiculous. At least I don't act this way so I don't want to be around people that do but it's hard cause it's his family. This all probably sounds dumb and like small stuff, but when it's constant and has been going on for four 1/2 years, it gets very old. I can just like, fore-see all her "tactics" before she does them now, haha.
But anyways. Main point. My boyfriend and I eventually want to move somewhere, be mostly off the grid, we always talk about wanting to own a small cabin a little ways out of the city in somewhere like Oregon or Washington or somewhere. Oregon was the main focus, heard so many great things about there, looks beautiful, and very far away from everyone I know! Haha. Well all the sudden, she wants to move there too. She's "always wanted to be away from everyone, go live in the mountains and be with her art". My mouth dropped. Two months ago she was going to move to another state to be with some dudes she met on the internet. Even not being with "internet guys" she wanted to move to Nevada anyways, she's been talking about that for a whole year. Now she's completely flipped the script, and she says she's buying her ticket for Oregon at the end of the month. Then she starts saying how she's going over there, going to get me and my boyfriend connections and things like that so when we finally move she'll hook us up with jobs and friends and whatever. Like she's going to set up our life together for me. WHAT. WHATTTT.
The reason one moves especially with someone is to start a new life together. JUST THE TWO OF YOU. I wouldn't even be surprised if whenever we did move she'd just drop her lease and try and move in with us cause she doesn't wanna live by herself or something. NOOoOoo.
I guess she stopped by house today while I've been at work cause when I got home my boyfriend was talking about how she really wants US to move out there (like this was her idea from the beginning) and blahblah. Then I was just like,"Well, I don't know if I wanna move out there." And he knows I've been wanting to go there so he got thrown off and kind of defensive and was wondering why and I just kept saying how there's other nice places to, we still need to think about it, etc. He really wants Oregon though so I know he's gonna keep pushing it. As of right now I'm googling what cities are the farthest apart from where she's going haha so at least I have some hourly distance if I can't have stately but he wants near the coast and of course, she'll be right on it.
I think this post is more so just to rant really but if anyone has any insight on any of this, at all, please. I just don't know how to word that I don't want to live there now without throwing him off and causing issues or I guess I might just eventually have to tell him I cannot stand his sister and I'm not isolating myself in a whole new state with her? How does one word that haha. Especially knowing he'll tell her and then all hell would break loose.
The Answer
I understand why this is bothering you, but there isn't actually a problem yet. She's just talking, and you know she's 99% talk. The likelihood that she is actually going to move to Oregon is really really small.
Your far, far bigger problem, is that you've never been honest with your boyfriend about your dislike of his sister, and that you don't trust him to handle that truth very well if you did tell it.
THAT is a potentially relationship destroying. That is way more dangerous to your long-term happiness with him, than where she chooses to live.
Tackle that first, then worry about where you are going to live.
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The Question
3 Days Spent in New York City
Outsiders look up, locals look straight. A majestic world of wonder on the eyes, the concrete jungle that is New York City. The three days I spent in New York, the city lit by aspirations and grandeur to inspire people, had left me with three days of wishes granted. The city that never sleeps, according to the song.
The atmosphere invites you to participate in everyday activities. Day one, obligeto call out for a “taxi”, the famous yellow car, the best way of transport to travel from one sight to the next with only a low priced fee. My trip there was like discovering an entirely new way of life that I had only heard stories of. During day one I felt compelled to visit the Statue of Liberty. It is a modern marvel and a national monument that symbolizes independence, friendship and democracy. The national monument allows people to study America’s independent history and provides a remarkable view of the harbour. Day two was devoted towards a more cultural outlook of some of the finest art work in the world, which is on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. New York’s Museum is one of the most influential museums in the world. It attracts visitors with it’s display of both modern and contemporary arts, that enable visitors to explore the evolution of arts and culture diversity.
I found that the New York people are providential and were very engaging. They adored to learn all about where you are from and to inculcate with you about some of the history behind New York’s purpose and landmarks.
The Empire State Building is a 102 story skyscraper located in Midtown Manhattan; I decided that I wasn’t prepared to climb the top, although I am told the view of New York’s sunset is so astonishing that it is where couples retreat too. My final visit on day three was to spend some time to wander around the luscious loveliness, which holds fresh air from the oak woodland trees and is home to the bees. Or with the nick name of “the green lungs”, that is Central Park. It held a true beauty aside from the city, it felt different, a place to unwind from the city’s magical madness. Romantic horse drawn carrige ride is not to be missed in the winter, with a snow sence background. Central park had the ability to ensure you wouldn’t dare be anywhere else. I couldn’t miss out the opportunity for some early Christmas shopping, with the Manhattan luxury shopping along the Fifth and Madison Avenues. The unique gifts and desirable store window displays, that draw you in, made shopping feel as if I was in control of everything. With a wealth of restraunts this included dinner in little Italy.
I feel that three days staying in New York satisfied my need for exploration, and hunger for adventure. During the three days I needed no map to guide me through the sights of the city, just a clear and open mind, ready for the unexpected. I came back home with confidence and my heart strings attached to the city that I had once only seen in the old fashion movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, yet that film had only captured the elegance, not the balance between real lives in the city.
To rationalize new York, is something not to be put in words is too be seen and felt. One day I will return with a new outlook and ideas of scepticism to thrive and to fill the city. It is a place I would never feel lost in, I would recommend it for any mind that needs a new captivating moment, available now only in New York City.
The Answer
Honestly, this isn't that great.
You've made quite a few spelling errors.
(Here is one correction for one of the tougher ones: Artwork is one word in the context you are using it. There are four other spelling errors, plus an inconsistent use of British English spellings and American English spellings, and some incorrect tenses.)
Many of your sentences are grammatically incorrect and confusing (It's fine to bend the rules of grammar for impact, but not if it simply makes things more confusing and difficult to understand. For the most obvious example, the following is not a complete sentence at all "Or with the nick name of “the green lungs”, that is Central Park.")
So, without knowing what grade you are in, or what expectation your teacher would have, I'd suspect this is a low-B or high-C level work.
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The Question
I am really confused about my bra size! I'm too awkward to have a fitting, although I'd really like one to find out what my bra size is. But my moms never offered to take me, she just gives me a bunch of As. I have two 28As, a 32A and a 34A. Weird, I know!! I always just say I'm a 28A because that one fits me the best. However, I decided to find out for myself. So I don't have a measuring tape, so I used a belt and a ruler. weird, I know. The band size was 25 inches and the bust size was 28 inches. (I'm really really skinny, and I find it hard to put on weight!) I figured that would be a 26B. I put in the measurements on some website and it turned out to be correct. But then I found out that there's a better website where you have to put in an extra measurement (the bit above your boobs) and then it said I'm a 32AA! But how can I be that when my band size is 25inches??! So confused. I don't know how to ask my mum to go bra shopping, too. It's sooo awkward. Sometimes I wish I could just go myself, but I'm 14 so... Also, I don't have enough bras anyway!! Sometimes I have to wear the same one for days when the rest are in the wash. My boobs are really small but I'm definitely not flat chested. So, any advice??! Don't just tell me to get a fitting, please!
Thanks, Hatty x
PS: I know this question is long and maybe TMI but I need advice(:
The Answer
Just get a fitting.
Sorry. I know. But that is the answer to your question. It's like asking someone "How to find out exactly how long my hair is - but don't tell me to measure it!" The only answer to be sure is to measure it.
Since you aren't going to get a fitting tho, the easiest solution seems to be not to worry so much about what your exact size is, and instead ask your mom to buy you some more bras that are EXACTLY like the one that fits you best - same size and manufacturer. I wear three different bra 'sizes' depending on where I'm buying my bras from. Once you find a size and brand that works for you, just keep buying that!
However, if you really want a hope in hell of getting anything like the right size from measuring yourself, at least get a measuring tape. They are often sold at dollar stores. That will at least give you a better idea than a ruler and a belt.
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The Question
My year old cat has started lounging in her litter box. I walk into my room and she's sitting in or laying down in her own filth and obviously she doesn't really understand. Anyone know why she is doing this?
The Answer
You need to see a vet.
Some cats may squat in their little box to 'guard' it from new people or animals (especially other cats). This is normal, yet annoying.
Despite that tho, you still need to take her to the vet ASAP. The behaviour could be linked to urinary tract infections, or bladder infections, or even kidney issues. Those are problems that could become life-threatening if they are left untreated. She could be also be pregnant, if she isn't spayed.
If the vet gives her a clean bill of health - then you need to give your kitty a better place to sleep. An enclosed place ideally, with a blanket that smells like her. A cardboard box might do just fine. Similarly, taking the top off your little box (if it has a cover) will make it a less inviting place for her to be.
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The Question
Okay, so..im 15 and im ean arab
So my boyfriend and i were together for like a month or so, he was really sweet and thoughtful, he was kind and i really liked him, but i started seeing another side to him, and i was getting scared, he went out and fought with people using knives and he said stuff like im raping theyre sisters and this kind of stuff made me feel really uncomfortable, also my mom doesnt know about us which also made me uncomfortable, and my mom wouldnt approve of him, i was kind of scared of him but i liked him, in the end i decided to break up with him, the relationship was very uncomfortable, but he kept sayimg that he doesnt want to break up and everytime i tell him im really sorry but we need to break up he says no. Youre nit breaking up with me, he threatened me too, i was terrified, in the end, we broke up, but after the break up he lept texting me about how he wants me back and everything, and i just cant be in a relationship, im emotionally unstable at tthe moment, i cant handle being in one, i know he's hurting, and i cant bear to think of it, he texted me on whatsapp, i blocked him, on kik, i blocked him, through sms i added him to reject list, i want him to forget me, i just cant be with him, i really liked him, but i was terrified, and i wasnt ready for a relationship either, i was kind of forced into it, i want him to move on, its whats best for the both of us, but i feel so guilty, im really scared, im scared of karma, and i feel guilty because i know hes hurting right now...what do i do?? Im terrified that karma will get me back for this, all of my friends said i did the right thing, did i? And do you think karma will get me back for this? Please help me..my brain is going around in circles, thank you so much in advance
The Answer
Stay away, and don't feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong and Karma is a spiritual belief you can either accept or reject - its not out to get you.
Even if you were ready for a relationship, he wasn't. He was controlling and frightening. He's the emotionally unstable person here. You were wise not to trust him.
You were really clear about what you wanted and needed. He failed repeatedly to repeat the things you told him. Blocking him was absolutely the right thing to do. You gave him every kindness and respect you could - you were totally honest and upfront with him. You should be really proud of yourself for handling your first breakup with so much courage and honesty.
The best thing you can do is probably talk to your mom, or another trusted adult. You have valid reasons to be fearful of this guy, and the people who can best support you and help you stay safe, are the adults around you.
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The Question
um recently hollywood is adding these stupid tv programs as in making the characters be something that they dont even look like for instense Grimm which really does not get anywhere with the classic fairy tales and Once a Upon a Time which is reeally stupid becuase in that program the characters are in storybrook and are more then one character for example Rumplestiltskin he is not just Rumplestiltskin but also the Beast and even studier Tick Tock the Crocodile i mean why did hollywood do those things seriously what website can you go to to give those shows lower ratings and get them cancelled becuase i really want to cancel Once Upon a Time so where i can go to give it low ratings so will be taken off the air and not get newer episodes and hopefully Grimm will stop later in the future or maybe next year
The Answer
There aren't many places online to do this, because 'rating' a show down isn't going to do do anything - certainly not get it canceled.
Shows get renewed based on how many people watch them, how many companies want the commercial time, and how much stuff gets sold. As long as enough people watch, it doesn't matter if everyone else on the planet hates the show - it'll stay on, 'cause it's making money.
Your not liking those shows is completely irrelevant to whether or not they continue. Grimm probably only has a bit longer in it - cause its ratings where never all that great. Once Upon a Time is going strong, it's ratings are second only to football on most nights. It'll be a around for a while no matter how you feel about.
In all seriousness, you need to find a better way to spend your time and energy. Not only did Disney and the Brothers Grimm reinterpret theses classic stories in the first place, so the versions you think are the 'originals' were already just interpretations and choices made by 20th century artists and writers - but even if you had a legitimate argument against these modern reinterpretations (and you don't) it is still silly to waste of your time and energy on TV shows you don't like. Get this passionate about the things you love. Or get this angry about issues that actually warrant it, like world hunger or politics or human rights. This is not a heathy way to spend your time, and you'll alienate other people if you are always out to ban the things just because you don't like them.
Yes, it sucks when something is really popular and you just don't 'get it', but it's not a reason to attack it. All my friends seemed to love Seinfeld, and now they are into Scandal and Walking Dead - I can't get into either of those shows at all, so, I just don't watch them. There are enough TV shows, books, movies and stories out there to please everyone.
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The Question
Tinder in Argentina. I match with lots of girls but none reply back, is it broken? why would they click like if they wont chat with matches?
I'm just using "hi" (and other synonims like hello) and I don't keep sending messages if they don't reply to the first one, so nothing creepy or disgusting.
Is the app broken and doesn't send/receive messages?
or why would they push like if they wont chat with matches?
is it normal? girls just push like because they are stupid and dont know what Tinder is about?
AM I THE ONLY ONE IN MY COUNTRY THAT KNOWS WHAT THIS APP IS FOR?
The Answer
Get over your sense entitlement.
You aren't owed attention from someone because they swiped 'Yes' on an app. They aren't stupid if they don't want to talk to you. I wouldn't want to talk to someone with your attitude.
Maybe finding something more interesting to say than 'Hi' might help. The best advice for all online dating is to ask a question, tell a joke, or pay a compliment. Hi doesn't start a conversation. Hi is the lazy thing you say to a person across the room who you kinda know, but don't actually want to talk to.
Actually want to talk to someone? Put in more effort than "Hello".
And yeah. It's normal for most messages not to get a response. That's normal on all dating sites or apps, all the time, for everyone.
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The Question
I met this guy the other night. He bought me a drink and he told me I'm pretty like 6 times in 30 minutes. We had a decent conversation. Today I saw him on campus with a bunch of other guys. He awkwardly stared at me for 5 seconds then looked away when I waved (I know he saw me wave). Then as I walked past him, he looked at me again, made a weird face, and looked away. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? I'm upset. I want to text him something bitchy and make him feel like a loser. Should I?
The Answer
What the hell is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you that when a virtual stranger does something for a brief moment that you don't like, you start flinging insults like idiotic and moron and trying to figure out how to get back at him!
Chill out. He might not have recognized you outside the context of the bar, or maybe he just isn't interested. Either way, you response is way out of whack.
Writing a bitchy text is only going to make you look like a bitchy loser, and he'll be damn glad he didn't talk to you. It's not going to make him feel like a loser if he missed out on talking to crazy, over-dramatic, bitch.
If you want to talk to him again, give him the benefit of the doubt and text him more along the lines of "Hey, saw you on campus today. How are you doing?"
If you want to be someone's friend, be fucking friendly.
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The Question
My girlfriend and I just got a rescue dog and we've noticed that her breathing is a lot faster than normal. We've had her for three days so far and will be scheduling a vet visit soon. It seems like she's taking shorter and faster breathes. I wonder if she could be stressed or is it something else? This didn't really happen until after we took her out for a car ride. Sometimes it lasts a while after a dog walk, but I think in that situation it's just because she's tired. Her heart rate seems normal. What are some reasons why she could be breathing fast? Fall is coming soon and it is getting colder so I don' think the weather is an issue. She is a golden retriever mix with maybe a spitz breed, very small for her breed. She's 40 lbs, and she will be a year old next month. Her medical record said that she was tested for heartworms and it came out negative. I don't know if the family that gave her away gave her heartworm medication, but the organization that took her in was giving her medication before the test, so could that have effect the results of the test? The organization had her for only about 2 weeks. Even when she fell asleep her breathing stayed the same and was still a little faster than normal. What should I expect when we go to the vet?
The Answer
You'll need to see the vet.
If she is breathing quickly through her mouth, there is virtually nothing to worry about. If her breathing is still fast when he mouth is closed and it's happening through her nose, then there is a larger chance that something is up.
She could just be over-excited. Could be she's unaccustomed to the degree of exercise she's getting with you. Could be she has a benign underlying issue like asthma or allergies. She could be perfectly normal - some dogs, especially mutts, have abnormal breathing patterns due the configurations of their nose. Or, it could be a number of things more problematic.
It's also worth remembering, especially if you haven't had a dog before, that they do breath much more quickly than a human being. Adult human beings at rest breathe between 15-20 times a minute. Adults dogs at rest may breath as many 35 times a minute without anything being wrong with them.
You did the right thing making an appointment. Other than that, maybe keep her exercise to a minimum until you see the vet. Probably nothing to loose any sleep over.
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The Question
Why does my husband always gots to be so mean.Why are we so differtent why does he try to keep me Isolated, in a small town.He watches what I eat.He is driving me crazy.I`m 33 @ my husband is 27.Louisiana U.S.He usualy work out of town I would only see him on the weekend know he home and he driving me off the wall in just one day how can I Adjust to him.
The Answer
It's difficult to advise you based on so little information about your lives.
If your husband is trying to control what you eat - that is abuse.
That's controlling behaviour that is abusive. That isn't something you should adjust to. That is something he should stop.
If you need to talk directly to someone about what is going on in your home, you could try the National Domestic Abuse hotline at thehotline.org or 1−800−799−7233.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 and a half years now. When he's away at school he has a extremely busy life and always says he doesn't have time to even think about me, he's so crazed. I give him tons of space at school and try not to cling on as much as possible. However he only texts me a few times a day, never ever calls or says the loving things he does when were together. This has been an ongoing battle for years now where I constantly feel unloved by him when were away. He's said hurtful things that really make me question what I am to him. I know he loves me and cares about me or he wouldn't go through all this but I'm so tired of being last on his list. I've tried everything. Everything. Talking to him about it is no use, believe me. Should I just ignore him for a while? Take a break for a few weeks so that maybe he'll begin to realize what I am to him?Sometimes I feel this is the only way for him to miss me and get his attention.
The Answer
Silence is never a solution.
If he is legitimately busy and occupied, than he is very unlikely to just miss you so much.
He's more likely to get pissed at you for trying to play games with him, or to be concerned that you are cheating on him.
Silence breeds distrust and contempt.
If talking to him hasn't, and you think wont, address the problem, then the only solution left to you, is to end the relationship.
Getting his attention through game-playing and silence, will only lead you down the path to a breakup anyways. If you are so unhappy you feel those are your only options, then skips that childish drama and simply end the relationship.
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The Question
Why do i always get bullied is karma real ?
its gets really hurtful after a amount of times people have said it i have been getting this for the past 5 years of my life non stop everyday people commenting on the way i look i had really bad ance and scars on my face well there nearly gone now but they also were teasing me because i find it hard keeping up with everyone in class it really hurts iv said told a teacher what happened but they didnt do anything at all they just left it and went on their sidei just feel soo worthless i would say about 30 people would teas me because of the way i looked i wish fukin karma gets them bk twats
The Answer
Karma is a spiritual belief. It's faith. There is no evidence that it's real like gravity is real. But if you want to believe in it, no can prove to you it's nonsense.
You would probably be better off asking questions about how to deal with hurtful jerks, than hoping for karma, angels or faeries to solve your problems.
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The Question
Why is it illegal for a 14 y old to go out with a 19 y olad?
The Answer
Because they cannot be equals. The 19 year old has way more power than the 14 year old can have. They have the power to own things, to make choices about where they live and where they go.
It's the power imbalance that makes it wrong. Like a doctor or teacher dating a patient or student, when one person has lots and lots of power, and another person has none, a relationship cannot be equal, respectful, or sometimes even safe.
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The Question
Hi, this is quite long, so please bear with me.
I got this FWB, with whom I had sex once before. We met online, on his online profile he said that he was 35. I'm 25, so 35 is my maximum age.
Anyway, I went to my FWB's place yesterday and found out that he's in his early 40s. I felt a little distrust, but because he was otherwise nice and hot, I ignored it. We went for dinner and played pool with his friends, and I said that the fact that everyone knew him in this city was just like going out with my dad, who is a university professor (wherever we go, there are always his students recognizing him). And he glared at me teasingly, making me explain that I didn't mean that he was like a father to me.
Anyway, after playing pool, we went to his place, as we've discussed per text earlier. But when we get into bed, he only cuddled me, and showed no sign whatsoever to have sex. So I asked, when are we planning on going forward with our "experiment". He has lots of toys and into light bondage, and I'm eager to try it out and in our texts, he has always been eager to tie me up and use them on me. But when I asked him that, he only hugged me even tighter, and just said "you're so sweet that I... you're gonna find a boyfriend.." and held me there, my head on his chest, one hand stroking my shoulder, the other on my head, rubbing a spot on the back of my head with a finger. I got the impression of it being a protective gesture.
So we just cuddled the whole night. And in the morning, when we were spooning, there was no morning wood. I cupped his hand on my breast, and he pressed his crotch towards my butt, and I felt him getting kinda hard. He kept squeezing me tight, and kissed my shoulder, so I turned around to face him. But when I turned around and my head was on his chest again, he fell asleep, went soft again, and snored. I was like "what the...?"
When we finally got out of bed, I asked him again, whether he didn't want to have sex because of my comment about my father. He said no, it was because I was so nice and sweet and again, that I will find a boyfriend. Not because of me, but because I was so nice.
I'm still confused. I asked him again whether he was lying about the reason to not have sex with me and he didn't seem like lying. However, my insecurities just screamed to me that maybe he's not attracted to me after all.
What do you think? Would a guy really not want sex because he thinks the girls is too "nice"? Could it be that he had developed protective feelings toward me? Or was he lying about all that and is in fact, not attracted to me after all? Were my insecurities making me think too much here?
I feel like I can't get a boyfriend, but at least I can still get sex, and to me it's kind of a confidence boost. And he has a big d***, I really wanted him inside me. I now feel like I've lost my FWB. We still agreed to be friends, but I wanted the benefits too. So when I went back home, I felt rejected and it hurts and I dropped a tear or two. Pathetic, I know. Help?
The Answer
Look, relationships are hard. That includes FWBs.
Also, relationships only work when two people want the same (or very similar) things.
It always hurts when someone you want one kind of relationship with, doesn't want the same thing. It's okay that it hurst.
This guy didn't want the same thing as you. Chances are that had very little to do with you, and more to do with his own baggage. 40 somethings are not magically well-adjusted people who know what they want just cause they are a bit older. They are just about as fucked up and confused as anyone else. Not everyone is cut out for a FWBs relationship, even if they think they are.
Don't be his friend moving forward unless you truly want to be his FRIEND.
If you want a FWB, look for someone else.
But don't kid yourself: Finding a one night stand is easy. Finding a good FWB is about as hard as finding a boyfriend. That's what relationships are. They are hard.
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The Question
I want to know which is the best contraceptive with no bad side effects
The Answer
Everything you put in your body, from soda to oranges, have 'side effects'.
Shit you put in your body, effects your body.
Which contraceptive will have the least side effects for YOU, depends quite a bit on your body and your lifestyle. That is why the best things you can do, is talk to a doctor. Generally speaking, birth control pills with lower amounts of estrogen have fewer side effects, but every woman in unique. Some will never experience any side effects, some may use the same type of contraceptive and experience every possible side effect.
Talk to your doctor.
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The Question
Hi,
A few weeks ago we adopted a puppy and had him for 2 days before he passed away. He apparently wasn't doing well in the shelter either, but we thought it was just because he was afraid of the loud noises. By the second night, he was in critical condition and we made the decision to euthanize him since the vet said that the chances of him surviving was less than 50% chance and she couldn't promise us that he would even wake up even if they had pulled off a successive treatment and even if they did all they could to save his life. My girlfriend's mother called to try to get us our money back because our vet bill ended up to $600. She spoke to the office manager and the office manager said that they shouldn't have charged us for both euthanization and cpr, only either or, so we got our refund for putting him down, but our problem is that we were okay with them charging us for putting him down because it was our decision. However it was not our decision to give him CPR because by the end of the conversation with the vet technician it didn't seem like it would be worth trying to save his life. What can we do to get our money back? I'm really upset because they didn't inform us about what they were doing to him or ask for our consent. All they said when he handed him to the vet was that "They were doing what they can for him right now", which wasn't very specific and by the end of the night they charged us for CPR that we didn't give consent to..
The Answer
Since the administrator has told you that people are, as a matter of policy, only asked to pay for either CPR or the euthanasia, calling them and asking them to change what they are charging you for seems like the logical first step.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with adviceman. It's exceedingly unlikely your local Veterinary Medical Association is going find anything wrong here. It's exceedingly unlikely that your vet did anything wrong when they performed CPR. CPR is an emergency technique to prevent death from either heart failure, or more usually, respiratory failure. If they did not perform CPR when it was necessary, the result is almost certainly death. NOT performing CPR may have, depending on the circumstances, been an act malpractice. Performing it without your explicit consent, is almost certainly not malpractice.
You are not clear about whether they performed CPR on your dog prior to determining what was wrong, or prior to speaking to you, or afterwards. However, in either case they actually had a responsibility to keep the dog dying from issues that could be addressed by CPR. They didn't need your consent to perform CPR when an animal isn't breathing or their hearth isn't beating, anymore than the fire department would need your consent to remove your pet from a building when its on fire. Even if they knew that dog was going to die anyways - which they might not have known, at the time when they performed CPR.
If you feel you weren't treated probably by the vet, by all means make a complaint, but you also need to recognize the nature of emergency care. The vet's decision to perform CPR was probably not a decision which required explicit consent.
Also note that your mother likely signed a consent form when they pup entered the vet's care that included a provision allowing the vet to make choices about emergency care, when there wasn't time to consult with you.
So call the administrator and tell them you'd rather be charged for the euthanasia and not the CPR. They might be perfectly happy to honour your wishes and by all means file a complaint if you feel you weren't informed properly about what was going on, but you also need to recognize that you were all very upset, and that things were happening quickly and there isn’t always time to explain every detail of what is happening when the vet a.) doesn’t know exactly what is happening yet and b.) the puppy isn’t breathing. Although we are lacking a lot of the details from your question, it was not necessarily wrong for a vet to perform CPR, and it's very, very, very unlikely that is constitutes malpractice.
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The Question
20/f
I've had chronic hives for the past year. I went to the doctor three times. I've got a steroid shot and they prescribed me medicine that I have taken for a month and I stayed away from almost all types of food while taking the medication but my hives still came back. I went back to the doctor again and decided to give me a three month prescription of medicine and tried giving me vitamins to take and instructions to follow, still being on a strict diet... It did not help. I ended up buying Zrytec in stores to help keep my hives in control but I don't want to keep taking medicine. Does anyone know a way that can make it go away completely? I know it's allergies because I've been sneezing and have common allergies but I also get hives at night and I sometimes get itchy in the daytime but I take Zyrtec to make it stop.
I don't know what I am allergic to because even on my strict diet, my hives were still there even when I was eating nothing but boiled vegetables.
The Answer
Have any of these doctors been an allergist?
You are really at the point where you don't need a GP - you have exhausted their areas of expertise. You need a specialist and comprehensive allergy testing to figure out what you are reacting too.
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The Question
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 YEARS, he cannot get over my sexual past. I've lied and kept things from him to avoid hurting him and making him feel worse, but it just made everything worse. Now he doesn't trust me. Whenever I tell him something he always questions it. He asks me if I'm telling him the truth. I'm not going to lie to him or keep anything from him anymore because I see that it just hurts him worse than the truth could. I know that lying is wrong and it's bad, but I didn't have malicious intentions. I feel horrible that I've made him lose his trust for me. I'm trying quite hard to gain it back. But anyways, everyday he drills me with questions about my past. It's starting to really upset me. It hurts to talk about my past because I'm so very ashamed of what I did and I'm very regretful, but I talk about it for him. It's starting to upset me because that's all we really talk about lately. We aren't the same couple we used to be and I miss that. Now we fight and argue and I don't want to lose him. I can't. I love him so much and I know that he loves me too. I could never break up with him, he's too special in my heart to do that. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want him to feel upset, extremely sad, angry, jealous, hurt, and inferior anymore. He's the absolute best of them all, that's a fact. So how can I or we fix his problems? ACTUALLY, I had a relation with a guy who used to tortured me a lot mentally and physically and i loosed my virginity with him,he forced me to do that, its just 1 time. then i broke the relationship. after a year i met with my current boyfriend in online.afer somedays he proposed me and i agreed. but i lied to him about my some information ,and my past ,that i don't had my relation in my past and i am virgin. because i afraid to lose him,because he is a nice guy and also very conservative.all was good i revealed other wrong info about my life and he okey with that, but i don't tell him about my past.2 month ago ,he noticed my facebook accout and saw some open wall conversation with my ex boyfriend. but this total conversation was more than 3years earlier when i am in my past relation. so after seeing this my current boyfriend call a guy(my ex's friend) and know all the details and also some wrong details. he told that i had a abortion but it is a big lie!!! but my boyfriend can't trust me anymore. i try to regain his trust but he always doubt me. and that guy some time called him and tell nonsense things about me. but this is not true.i love my boyfriend very much.and he think that i used him , and he feel he gets dirty to do sex with me. we'hv do it 2times.and called me sl*t. i feel terrible with all this matter, and feel very guilty.SOME time he wants to break the relation but i don't want to do that . PLEASE suggest me. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND WANT TO MARRY HIM. I AM TOTALLY LOYAL WITH HIM. he can't accept my past. his problem is not that i lied him but his actual problem is i am not a virgin, he want a virgin girl to marry.
The Answer
You've asked before, and the answer remains the same:
You made a mistake, but he can't punish you forever. If he cannot forgive you, truly forgive you and respect you despite of your past, than you need to dump him.
And you should dump him. He's a hypocrite and a jerk who doesn't value you or respect you because you aren't a virgin (despite the fact that he too, choose to have pre-martial sex with someone - you).
I know it hurts, and I'm sure you do love him, but you CANNOT marry someone who would treat you in this way. Right now it's just name-calling and distrust, it wont get better when you are married, and it might get worse.
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