A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I've had a crush on my English teacher since the beginning of the school year. She's really attractive and smart. I've been flirting with her pretty much since I saw her and she finally started flirting back with me.
I was staying after class so she could tutor me some. I'll admit I was purposely failing things so that she'd request I stay after class for extra help. One thing led to another and the last few tutoring sessions kind of became make-out sessions. I pushed her to do it with my flirting though.
Last friday we actually had full-on sex. We didn't use a condom either so I'm slightly concerned about a possible pregnancy issue but I don't know how the hell to bring that up to her! It was the best sex of my life but I know it was wrong because she's my teacher. I want to be more than just her student or her sex buddy though and I'm not sure if I should pursue this into a relationship, remain sex partners, or let it die and try to forget about her (doubt that will happen).
For legal reasons I won't say my age or hers but there is quite a span between us. She, obviously, knows my age and I know hers. I keep getting erections in her class now and can't stop thinking about her. I am wondering if I should even try to quit school so that I can be with her but that just sounds absurd to me for some reason. I feel so confused about this whole situation now.
What do I do? (link)
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Stop what you're doing. Keep shit to yourself. Ask Danger Nerd to delete this question. I'm going to assume, probably incorrectly, that you're in college and that this is your english professor. If thats the case, finish the semester and when she isn't your teacher you probably aren't breaking anyone's rules.
If you're in high school, God help you. Stop risking her career because you're a fucking horny teenager. I'm not sanctimonious about morality, she's obviously not taking advantage of shit, but don't let being a dumb horny teenager fuck up your life and hers.
Be real dude, you're not going to fucking marry your high school English teacher. You think she's bringing you home to the family? Stop risking peoples lives and fuck someone your own age.
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I was raped last summer and I just can't get it out of my head. It was the worst thing that has EVER happened to me. I was staying with my dad at his house and I went to hang out with some people there and when I was walking home this guy totally raped me. I was frightened and I'm still not over it even though I told both of my parents immediately.
The main reason I'm having problems dealing with it is because I had an orgasm when I was raped. It was not the first time I had actually had sex but it was the first orgasm I had experienced. I didn't like the sex though! I didn't WANT to be raped or anything! I don't know what happened and why I had the orgasm. I feel so stupid and disgusting. What is wrong with me for doing that?!
How do I get past this and move on with my life? I keep reliving this experience and the sensation of the orgasm. It's horrible and I don't know what to think of myself. Please help... (link)
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Wow. First off, I'm sorry that happened to you. Second, you need to see a counselor. There are alot of underlying issues here that no one on this site is skilled enough to know or explain, and you need someone who knows more than we do to help guide you through recovery.
Talk to your parents about it. Today. Ask them if you can talk to a counselor or therapist about it. There's no shame, everyone's got issues they could use a guiding hand with (mine revolve around my parents, just so you know I'm not just saying that)
Orgasm is a result of biological stimuli. Being in a situation as traumatic and threatening as rape heightens sensation and can often even have a bit of a time dialation effect. This is instinct, fight or flight response, as your body prepares itself to react to defend itself in an instant. Blood vessels expand to handle greater oxygen flow to the muscles, pupils dialate, and nerves begin firing regularly so actual physical sensation is heightened for the instant detection of physical pain.
This process is virtually identical to higher levels of sexual arousal. When you become aroused, you flush red as your blood vessels open, your nerves begin firing to detect and enjoy pleasure, your pupils dialate,your heart rate increases, and your muscles tense, ready to respond to the situation as needed.
The sensation of sex is pleasurable. Thats human design, you can't work around it. If what happened was not directly physically painful, there's nothing there to fight the pleasure sensations.
It is quite literally _normal_ to experience what you experienced in your situation. To be completely and totally mentally opposed to whats going on, and yet to experience the physical sensation of orgasm. You know that for men, the prostate is roughly equivalent to the G spot? Which kind of begs the question as to whether men were designed to occasionally engage in gay sex. But anyway, men raped in prison often achieve erection and even climax from prostate stimulation. Same situation, if the sex is not directly painful, there's nothing to stop the physical sensation of pleasure, and the heightened physical and emotional state from fight or flight responses makes certain reactions inevitable for some people. Even when pain is present, sometimes its not enough to overcome other physical stimulation. It depends alot on the person in question and how much sensation their body is capable of getting out of something.
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I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 18..we've been together for 2 and a half years and I just don't want to be with him anymore.
He is driving me crazy..he's extremely controlling and obsessive, where he calls and texts me 24/7 and if I don't answer a text while I'm at school or something then he'll text over and over and start calling. I haven't hung out with friends for real just about the whole time we've been together,because he gets so jealous about it and accuses me of doing stuff with other guys, but whenever he has ever had the inkling to hang out with friends then he will and he'll ignore me.
So idk I'm just tired of arguing with him constantly..every day is a struggle. I find myself like looking out my window and getting paranoid when he calls cause I feel like he's gonna just show up..cause he's done it before.
I've been trying to cut back onthe amount of time we spend together, because we used to be together ALL the time. So now I've been using school and stuff as an excuse to not spend so much time together,but it's not making anything any better..he's just getting more obsessive and it's gotten to where i can hardly stand to be around him..I just want out. But I feel bad about it because we've been together so long and he talks about wanting to marry me soon and all that..plus he's got a bad side and I'm kinda afraid he might try to do something crazy..
anyway..I just need some advice please! (link)
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[Edit]
Going through something like this can be pretty difficult. I'm glad I could help, but continue seeking outside support. Always watch for people who try to cut you off from others you care about, because generally the motivation to do that stems from a desire to affect you with their own point of view. They want to be able to drown you in what they think and eliminate outside conflicts that might keep you from agreeing with them.
It can be anywhere from completely subconscious to malicious and willing.
If you want to talk more about it, feel free to send me a private question. I don't give out my personal information often, but if you'd like to have more of a conversation about this send me an aim screen name and I'll add you and send you a message when I see it, I'm online alot on my wife's account to figure out dinner when she's out and such
[/Edit].
Out is not a question at this point. I feel like you're wavering. Don't waver. Out. Now.
Prepare a speech. Ten sentences at most, calm, collected, and with the following points.
- We're over
- Its permanent
- You are controlling and obsessive
- Your anger scares me
- I do not want to talk about it, work on things, or figure anything out.
- Do not contact me again.
Tell him this, give him five minutes to talk, and have your friends ready to walk over the second he stops being civil/starts screaming/curses you out/acts threatening. When you get home delete, block, destroy, and trash everything you have related to him and move on with your life.
If he starts harassing you don't wait for him to stop. If you live at home, talk to your parents and go from there. If you live alone or with room mates, tell your room mates about him and call the cops. Any harassing text, e-mail, phone call, etc you save for the cops. If he calls, write down the time, number he calls from, and the conversation. I said delete, get rid all the lovey e-mails, delete his number from your phone, get rid of pictures and gifts and shit in your house that reminds you of him. Any clothes of his you might have stolen (because I'm pretty sure all girls do this)
Having been with him for two years does not entitle him to a few weeks of degredation, stalking, and other harassment when you end it because he's upset and has an anger problem. Do not let him victimize you any more because he's taught you to feel guilty any time he's the least bit unhappy with anything you do.
I don't know if "abused" has entered your head yet, but you have been.
Read this
Do you:
* feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
* avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
* feel that you can�t do anything right for your partner?
* believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
* wonder if you�re the one who is crazy?
* feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
* humiliate or yell at you?
* criticize you and put you down?
* treat you so badly that you�re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
* ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
* blame you for his own abusive behavior?
* see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
* have a bad and unpredictable temper?
* hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
* threaten to take your children away or harm them?
* threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
* force you to have sex?
* destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:
* act excessively jealous and possessive?
* control where you go or what you do?
* keep you from seeing your friends or family?
* limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
* constantly check up on you?
This is copied directly from the "signs you're in an abusive relationship" at a domestic violence website. Let people who care about you know whats going on in your life, protect yourself from this guy, and end it quickly and cleanly with backup watching for any sign of aggression. Give him a chance to say a few things and cut him off at five minutes. You don't owe him any more than that.
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I met my ex bf when I was 19 & he was 20. He went to an away college after us being together for 2 months. He was head over heels for me & would have asked to marry me within a year. I thought I loved him but I didn't because I cheated on him 3 months into our relationship. He came back for the weekend to visit & found out from one of my ex friends that I cheated. He asked me, I lied and said NO. He talked to my ex friend and then came to my work and asked again, I lied through my teeth. He finally had had enough and broke up with me and I admitted to it (October). I do know why I cheated. He went back to school. A couple weeks later we tried to be together again. (i was now 20, him 20) We broke up at the end of December because I wasn't doing everything to show him that he could trust me again. We somehow started dating again in the beginning of January. I saw him during Spring Break which was in March for a week. Then end of March, early April we both called it off. Neither of us could do it. I drove down to see him because I realized I didn't want to lose him. He told me, he didn't want to be with me and had moved on. (me 20, him 21) In June he came back home. We started dating again. Sometime in June or July, he went to the phone store, met a girl, had a good 1 to 2hr conversation and exchanged numbers with her. Told me about it a day later, I freaked, told him never to talk to her. Then his sister was trying to hook him up w some girl she knew (his sister knew we were dating but doesn't like me). I found out because I was leaving out of town in August, we were spending time together & I saw the text so he explained. I was iffy about leaving for a month with all this going on. He went to vegas with a couple guys & went to his sisters bday dinner & club with her friends. I came back & things were going alright. I was texting a guy friend I met when we were broken up but he knew I had a bf & he had no possiblity of dating me because he knew how much my bf meant to me (ill call him tim). Then one day, out of the blue, I got a 1am text from a guy I met when my bf & I were broken up in April. I texted both of those guys and one more, telling them I want nothing to do with them anymore because I love my bf and I will do anything for him. In December, he told me he finally trusted me. End of December, he told me he didn't trust me & just wanted to tell himself he did. After New Years, he came to talk to my mom. My mom told him that he can't be with me if he didn't trust me & we tried it again. I was now having a hard time trusting him but at the same time I did. About a week ago we broke up because, I wasn't trusting him, I was smothering him and maybe some other reasons he failed to mention & I don't remember. We talked last Friday and I spent the weekend with him, we had a great time. On our way back from our trip, we decided to be friends with benefits. Monday night he asked me to stay the night, we had a couple drinks & he saw that my friend Tim texted me asking how I was doing. I don't remember exactly what I said but I said somethings to him that werent nice and him as well and I left. He told me he's done with me and is moving on, he doesn't want to be my friend, he's not going to hurt either of us by getting back with me again. I told him okay I'm gone. Then a couple minutes after this told me, we should take some off and if we decide then to be friends, we can. I never replied back to this text. So after my LONG relationship I tried to shorten up, why does he want to be friends? What's going on? (link)
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He's angry, you had a fight, he wants to be with you but you've both broken each other pretty badly.
Honestly, you need to move on, not talk to him for six months, and use that time to find a guy and not cheat on him. You're both too dumb and horny to stay friends and stay away from each other, its time to move on and put some years between you and him.
It is possible, maybe, that with some time to both grow up you two could work things out. It won't happen now, you need to get some perspective and you both need time to heal from the shit you've put each other through. Get out, give each other complete space, spend some time worrying about you and your life rather than working shit out with him, and then explore the new options you're presented with when you look at dating again in six months.
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I am a 32 year old divorcee with three children. For the last six months I have been dating a wonderful man he is good to me and to my children. We get along well together and enjoy each others company. The problem? I just am not sexually attracted to him. We've had sex it's not that it's bad I just don't always want to do it. He is much smaller than I am accustomed to. Should I give up all the good things about our relationsip due to my lack of physical attraction for him? (link)
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Honestly, if you're here asking this question it matters enough to you to be a deal breaker. Because I'm sure that he's probably very into the intimacy, and later on when you DO find yourself attracted to someone in ways you are not to him, you're either going to cheat or be incredibly miserable.
Putting the kids first doesn't mean getting them a new daddy who can take care of them. It means making sure you've always got the headspace to be there for them. If you get with a guy who will eventually make you miserable, you'll lose that headspace, and the kids will suffer.
Its your job to set an example for them. What kind of an example do you set in staying with a guy they will eventually figure out you aren't really passionate about? Kids are perceptive, as they get older they're going to notice things and they're going to model their own relationships on yours.
Absent an active swinger lifestyle, I doubt this is going to work for you. And I know it sucks. A sweet guy with a small dick, its quite cliche. But there's a reason the nice guy doesn't always get the girl. He's bought your affections with his own, but you cannot teach your children to enter relationships based on guilt and security.
I'm married, my wife and I have been together 5 years and are still pretty regularly all over each other. Sexual intimacy is a very big keystone to our relationship, because we're both fairly sexual people with high drives.
Most of the women I've dated have been similar, and to be honest you sound like several of them. Active desire to avoid sex, issues with his size, sex is important to you and this is bothering you alot. Its only going to get worse. What do you think is going to happen when you either a) have sex with him out of obligation when you don't want to or b) start coming up with excuses to avoid sex and avoid telling him you don't want to sleep with him?
The relationship is going to start generating a ridiculous amount of resentment on both sides, will fall apart, and you'll both be broken for a while.
You've got three kids and no time for that. Move on.
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How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex right now? He told me last night that he really wants to bang me and is really looking forward to it. I tried to talk to him about it but he doesn't know I'm a virgin and so he doesn't think it's a big deal.
I'm not ready to have sex but I don't know how to tell my boyfriend that. I feel like I'm way too young to be risking myself like that and I don't think our relationship is strong enough to start having sex.
I don't want him to break up with me but I think that is where it might lead if I don't give it to him. He was so excited about it when he was talking to me and I couldn't just say, "I don't want to, really..." because I know that would let him down. What should I say to him so that he is more understanding of the situation and stops pressuring me to have sex with him? THNX (link)
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You need to assert yourself.
Assertion means that you put out what you feel, let him know whats going on in your head, and stand firmly behind it.
I get it. At your age, its difficult. You have just been developing your beliefs about yourself and the world, you're not entirely there yet. You feel this is wrong for you, but you cant' stand up and shout it from the roof tops because you're not 100% sure about anything you ever think at this point.
Learning to stand behind your principles without apology or regret is a difficult thing in this world. We're told to compromise ourselves for others constantly. Don't. Don't compromise yourself.
I'm a guy. We're always horny. I'm married, and I was harassing my wife this very morning and she poked me and told me to let her sleep. We get excited about sex, but its not your job to fuck a guy because he's excited at the prospect.
First, talking about looking forward to "banging" you is rude and disrespectful. He's a young boy, he probably doesn't know any better, but you're encouraging bad behavior.
How best to approach the situation?
Tell him, up front and point blank, that you don't appreciate him putting sex down as an expectation. Tell him that you're a virgin, you like him, but sex is not currently on the table and if and when it becomes an option _you'll_ let _him_ know.
Being assertive is about not being ashamed of what you think and believe, especially when it comes to yourself. Its an important habit to establish, because guys can and will walk all over a girl. We've been the masters of the world for 2000 years now, and we're just breaking into areas of greater equality. There are alot of habits on the guys side that must be broken, things like telling a girl we're dating we can't wait to "bang them".
I stopped dating virgins when I was younger, because of situations like this, because I'm laid back enough that more than one girl has said yes to me without ever expressing to me the kinds of hesitation you have now. The last girl I dated slept with me on the second date and then clammed up because she felt she'd had sex too soon and things fell apart (this was years ago, I'm married to someone now).
You need to tell him now you feel, and you need to not be sorry you feel that way. Guys aren't good at figuring girls out, we run off logic and you run off emotion. Let him know how you feel now, or things will fall apart when it all gets to be too much and you unload on him all the little resentments you have from giving him what he wants without ever raising an objection.
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I have been married for 20 years. My husband has continuously led his life going out and has hobbies that keep him very busy. He has travelled to different countries to fulfil his hobby. He also joined a gym whilst I was at home with the children, he start kick boxing and goes cycling with friends. I used to enjoy music and learned classical music whilst I was younger but could not continue with this with my responsibilies. I helped look after his parents when they were ill and continously cook for them, cleaned their house and garden. I thought I could deal with this as he seemed to love me but he was always not icluding me in decisions. He did do the odd really nice thing for me but I have slowly got more sad. He has said some horrible things to me and lately I have felt so isolated that I have become depressed but he refuses to acknowledge this and we don't speak but I am always tearful. I feel I am doing something bad because he has been ok with me. How can I improve my relationship with him. I am 47 years old and have 3 beautiful children that I am totally devoted to helping but I feel I am bringing them down because they see me crying all the time.
Many thanks
(link)
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Marital counseling.
Go talk to a counselor alone first, without telling him. Talk to several if you need to, try to find one you think he'd talk to. Then drag him up there.
Your situation sounds incredibly complicated, and this solution involves your husband, whom we do not know and can't get an accurate picture of.
You need on the ground feedback, someone who can see both of you, make their own observations, and is trained to help couples sort stuff like this out.
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My friend was telling me that if you have sex whiel you're on your period you cannot get an STD because of the blood flowing it out of you too quickly. She said she had sex with her boyfriend who had herpes and she didn't get it because they had sex while she was on her period. She totally isn't lying, I'm sure. I was curious if this was actually true though because it does kind of sound a little iffy to me and maybe she just had good luck or something. So, is it true that you can't get an STD if you have sex on your period? (link)
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Your friend is an idiot.
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I was thinking the other day and if you have sex and you don't have an orgasm then it doesn't matter if your guy cums in you, right? Because the orgasm is what makes your egg come down to get fertilized, right? Something like that, I think. So, if the girl doesn't have an orgasm can she still get pregnant? ;) I was thinking that maybe my boyfriend and I could have sex and stop before I climaxed and then we wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant...
THANKS! (link)
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Wow. Ok.
No, orgasms have nothing to do with contraception. You might be interested to know that up until something like 50 years ago the female orgasm was considered to be a myth by many academics, none of us would be here if procreation were dependent on female orgasm.
You ovulate on day 13 or 14 after your cycle. From the point you pop an egg until after your next period ends, its possible to get pregnant.
Sperm survives for a few hours in the vagina, up to a day in the uterus, and up to seven in the fallopian tubes.
This means that if you have sex one week after your period, its possible for sperm to stay swimming in your fallopian tubes until a week later when the egg pops out and you end up pregnant.
Orgasm has absolutely nothing to do with this process.
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so im still a virgin but i want to have sex. i know that im ready. there is this guy that i want to have sex with and i would be most comfertable doing it with. we have talked soooo many times and almost dated but things got in the way. he is the only one that i wanna do it with if its going to be my first time. buuutttt we barely talk now. how do i give hints that i want to have sex with him? i want to tell him because i want to so bad. next weekend. Please don't tell me "I'm too young to be having sex" because its my business, not yours. I'm asking for help, not for you input on my decisions.
just give me some hints that i could text him. thanks. i rate 5for all!! (: (link)
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I just wanted to drop in and comment on the fact that I laughed my ass off when I noticed the question below yours was something like "I'm 16 and I might be pregnant"
Also, you are too young to be having sex. Not in some mystical "you must be a certain number to fornicate" kind of way, but in the down home all practical "you have no idea what constitutes healthy relationships or intimacy because you're still mentally a child" kind of way.
Is it normal in your peer group to booty call a guy you don't know very well and haven't slept with before? Or is self respect just that much of a universally foreign concept to you guys?
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I'm 16 and not realy use to buying gifts for a boy/guy that's 16, 17, or 18. i could tell you aout the person and maybe this could help you help me.
*has an i-pod
*listens to all kinds of music
*loves soccer/ plays soccer
*10th grade
*fav. color is green and red
*has almost every namebrand shoe that has ever been sold
*sweet, kind, and OUTGOING
What do i get him?
thank you. :) (link)
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I love how you can completely tell all the answers up to this point have been female.
The answer to your question: Attention.
If every woman on the planet forgot valentines day existed for three years straight, the holiday would disappear from the history books. Guys are baffled by showy tokens of affection for the most part (unless we can play with it, then we're all over that shit) but a back massage once a week on a regular basis will have us bragging to all of our friends how much better our girl is than theirs.
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Okay, So....Recently my Fiance of 5 years decided to go to full nude bar without letting me know. To start off it was brought to my attention he had to go to work saturday morning so he wouldn't be able to come into town, (He is living away due to his job relocating) so I am still in our home town, doing the long distance thing right now! He usually comes into town every weekend an recently this weekend he told me he had to work saturday morning an couldn't come into town, which i thought was wierd considering the job he did would be cancelled because of all the rain we had coming! He called me friday night an told me he was going to bed, I didn't trust that he was going to bed because why would he go to sleep at 8 at night, (We live together & That is not normal) I know him better than that so suddenly I expected something was going on. So about maybe 2 hours later I check his account just to see if he was lying or not an 3 different bars pop up on his account 1 being a nude strip club, and I immedietly flipped out because he lied to me and an disrespected me an broke our trust! I called him over and over, no answer...And so I drove to where he works (4hours away) and he apologized an explained he feels like he can't tell me things because I may get upset, an I told him now it makes it harder for me to trust him because he lied to me, an it's hard enough living away from him during the week! I have been lied to maybe 3yrs ago in the past from him about cheating an he hasn't lied since...now this is going on an I don't know what to think, maybe we should go to counseling, I don't know but will he do it again? Or does he know I am pretty blunt that this is the last time I let him betray me like that? I would appreciate any feedback left, Thanks for listening, I had alot on my mind an just need a set of ears! (link)
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You explained it much better this time. Distance is recent and you lived together, that's important.
He wants to be able to do what he wants without being called on it. He's breaking up with you because you're willing to go further than he wants to figure things out, and because you were right.
More timelines would be better. You said he lied about girls he slept with, not he lied about cheating on you.
So he's cheated, he's lying about going to strip clubs, and now he's breaking up with you because you ferreted out his lies, which he definitely doesn't like.
If he really wants to break up, you're well rid of him. That reaction tells alot about his intentions and desires. There's a good chance that this break up is akin to a tantrum, you found him out and he wants to make sure that it doesn't happen again, and he also tries to cover his lying by turning the situation around and making you the badguy (a very manipulative thing to do)
I'd only hesitate a little in saying that it sounds like he's gotten used to getting away with lying to you, and isn't used to being called on his shit.
He feels like he can't tell you things because you get upset? Thats a cop out. Thats "its too difficult to do what I want and be honest about it, you'd probably break up with me or make me stop doing things".
Read between the lines, let him dangle on the hook he's laid out for himself. I'd put money on him coming back apologetic in a week when you don't chase after him and beg him to stay, but I don't know him, and guys can be stubborn, prideful bastards.
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Been married 22 years in 2 weeks.Husband served in military for 23 years became disabled while serving in military. i have never been thin probably gained 15 pounds since marrying. Have 2 grown children problem is this when we have an argument he always goes there. He says I would have thought by now you might have lost weight but all you are is fat. I dont know if he says it out of anger or really means it. All I know is it really hurts. I would love to lose weight but somewhere I lost who I really am. Can someone help me (link)
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The only thing I can tell you for certain is that you married an asshole.
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It seems like I am being made fun of for owning a Macbook laptop. Why is this? I had an Acer I really loved and nobody ever made fun of me then so what gives? The acer was stolen and my school had good prices on the Mac so I bought one.
the "Mac people" I have become one of tell me it is because our computers are so much better but I am not really having that experience so I feel like I am being made fun of for no reason.
I don't get it. The only thing i can think of is that I paid about 4 times more for my Mac and I can't run anything for windows (which is like, everything) on it.
I know I should have bought another like my first one but I wanted to fit in in college with the cool mac kids. What actually happened was like I volunteered to sit at the lunch table in highschool that everyone throws things at and makes fun of the nerds who sit there. But nerds don't use macs! Am I the only one that isn't a musician or an artist who is using a mac?
Signed,
Beginning to feel really stupid. (link)
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Its because of Mac Culture, and the fact that you bought the product because "its cool"
Macintosh computers are a solid investment for two kinds of people.
1) People who know nothing about computers and just need simple functions like e-mail and web browsing
2) People who want to edit video
The Apple "iCool" crowd is made up pretty much entirely out of category one, who could spend 700 and get a Dell that will do everything they'd ever need, but spend two to three times as much for an apple with a slightly easier to use OS.
Which is why people are laughing at you.
I mean, I just bought a custom rig from a gaming vendor for 1300, 1500 total spent with the monitor and a 4 year warranty with a tech support crew comprised of non outsourced former computer science geek reps. People who speak my language. Its performance specs exceed any Macintosh with a price tag of under 5000. Would you blow 3500 dollars to be cool? How much have you already blown?
[Edit]
Also, because I'm obviously a PC fan, I'm going to argue with solidadvice4teens.
There is no such thing as video editing software that will run only on a mac, all of the best suites are released in both OSX and Win formats, and it is possible to reach equal levels of system performance with custom built rigs of either type. However, because of windows systems of compatibility any program built to run only on windows will run much more slowly on a Macintosh because it must be parsed through a windows emulator before it can run instead of running directly through system resources as it would naturally on a PC.
Also, in terms of video editing, the industry is actually quite mixed as modified versions of windows, linux, and unix predominate for groups that use in house proprietary programs for editing. Everyone else uses final cut, which runs fine on both systems.
Given that PC dominates the games market by far I don't see how you could ever contend that the majority of graphic design occurs on Mac hardware or software. Sony, Nintendo, and obviously Microsoft all use the same basic file formats, which is the base for windows. All of their designing is done on PCs.
Last,never gotten a serious virus. Its true, windows systems are more vunerable (hence, macs are better for people who won't ever figure out how to protect them) but my computer is spyware and virus free. Its really not all that hard to secure a PC from anything but a direct hack, and if someone decides they have a reason to directly hack your computer, theyre getting in unless you're running some bastardized custom unix version that no one will be able to find compatibility with.
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Im almost 19 years old. I started going out with my highschool sweetheart 2 and a half years ago. She left me a few days ago, saying that she needed a break from everything. Ive asked if this is forever, or if she ever wants to get back with me and she says she doesnt know.
Weve been saying how we wanted to get married once I was done with college. We both moved to a new town 2 hours away from our hometown about 4 months ago, I moved there because she wanted to move there. Neither of us have any friends here. I dropped out of college here (I plan on going somewhere else) and I havent gotten a job yet. She has a job. She is literally the only thing I have in this town, and my lease isnt up for another 8 months. We both want to move back to our hometown.
Anyways, she left me! She broke up with me 6 times in the past 2 months, she took me back right away except for the last time. She also just started hanging out with an old friend (a guy). She is not attracted to him at all, she says she only hung out with him to make me upset, and she doesnt want to hang out with him again. Why would she want to make me more upset if shes the one who left me? She says she still loves and cares about me, and wants to stay my best friend. But she wants zero contact for awhile.
The night after she hung out with this guy for the first time, she called me and told me what happened and was crying and said she regretted it. She asked me to pick her up (it was 1am) She said that she just wanted a break from me, but for sure wanted to get back with me someday. She then started kissing me and we talked all night, and she slept in my arms. I took her home in the morning. After that, she said that night only happened how it did because she was upset and tired. Also, when she broke up with me a few times ago, when she was taking me back and crying, she told me to never give up on her, that shes just really emotional because she hates living in this town and her job and everything.
Last night we saw each other, and we ignored the fact we broke up. We were talking and laughing, and we even held hands (we were driving back to our hometown). I felt alot better, but when we went back home, and I asked her how she felt about me, she said she still doesnt know and needs to take a break, and doesnt know if shell ever want me back. So now, were trying not to talk or see each other at all. Im so confused, and I dont know what to do! Also, im stuck in this town with no one and nothing! Shes all I had here. Any help, on anything? Thanks (link)
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Wow. Boy do I know how you feel. My wife and I moved back to a shit small town to be close to her family and this place is choking the both of us. We've had our fair share of fights, too.
Honestly, what this sounds like is that she is just so stressed out and screwed up by life events that she doesn't know which way is up. She can't control anything except the relationship, so she's controlling the relationship by breaking up.
You need to sit her down and talk to her. Inform her of a few things.
- You aren't going anywhere
- You know she doesn't want to go anywhere
- You're in this together, and you need to stick together
- You don't understand whats going on inside her head, what she's thinking about life, relationship, etc. And you want to.
Get her to talk. Ask questions. Try to get inside her head a little and offer her a fresh perspective. It sounds like she's torn up about something or several somethings and if you help her vent a little pressure that might smooth things out a bit for the two of you.
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Hi i am 18 years old and my boyfriend and I want to have sex but I am afraid that we might get caught by both of our parents where is the best place to have sex without getting caught (link)
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If you're both 18 you can get a motel room together. Privacy is worth 40 bucks.
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hi i am a 30 yr old mother of a 7 year old child and have wondered for a while if there is a possibility of her being sexually abused? the things that make me wonder are
1. when she was 5, almost 6, teachers at her school caught her and another little boy touching eachother and even performing oral sex.
2. i found her showing her friend how to draw a penis.
3. i walked in on her rubbing back and forth on a stuffed animal 3 times.
i just dont know where she would get all these ideas from and her dad is not in the picture so the only person i can think of who it could be would be her step grandfather because we live with my parents. any help is appreciated. thanks (link)
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Somewhat possible but in all likely no. As said, if you're worried take her to a kids therapist. Keep your calm face on, talk to her about it, see if you can figure out whats going on.
But honestly, in this day and age information can come from anywhere. The first time I had sex explained to me was by another boy in 2nd grade. He watched a movie while his parents were asleep and then told 3 classes worth of kids at recess the next day, like "secret adult information we aren't supposed to know about". Our little powwow of explanation got big enough to make the teachers suspicious and come break us up. By the time they walked over we'd all gotten a pretty detailed explanation, and of alot more than just things necessary for procreation
Kids do this constantly, one of them gets one shred of adult info they know they aren't supposed to have and suddenly its the hot topic of conversation at school the next day.
What you need to watch for is fear reactions. Children are very perceptive, even when they don't have an adult lens to see whats going on around them in focus. They can tell when something is happening that shouldn't even when they don't have adult references to understand. If she's otherwise behaving normally, then its likely that either she absorbed some information indirectly from the environment around her, or she's absorbed it from someone else her age.
That said, it would not be entirely unthinkable that there's an abused child among her peergroup that this was coming from. If there's only one male around her outside of school and she acts no different around him though, she's probably not the one.
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17/f
So this guy asked me to the valentines day dance and it's next sat! I'm not gonna lie I really really want to impress him because I'm starting to really like him. We both like eachother but I'm pretty sure I like him more than he does me. He also likes one of my friends and his best girl that's a friend. They talked bout it a while back and don't want a relationship with eachother until way future if ever because they love their friendship. She's told me he likes me and he already knows I like him. He could have asked her to the dance but asked me instead! Also he very artistic and drew me a picture which I love and in his french class made me a card along with making her one but they're just friends and I know this for sure. It wasnon French but he told me what it says and it says be my valentine on the end. Mushy I know but I love that. How can I impress him?! I really like him and want that to be mutual!! Ahh please help! (link)
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You're fucked.
I'm sorry to say it, but if his relationship with this girl is that important that it got brought up in a question about how to impress him, he's in love with her and likely stuck in the friend trap (or else the two of them just have absolutely no clue how to approach the idea of fucking each other)
The second she beckons he's going to come running, and there's nothing you can really do to fix that. He was taken before you arrived on the scene. Bad luck.
Be nice, be flirty, be interested, but don't get your hopes up too far. If the two of them have said "a relationship but not till way in the future" then you're in the middle of a countdown until they're all over each other (or until she meets a guy and falls for him, breaking your boy's heart, as happens more than half the time)
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OK, so my boyfriend is really obsessed with Megan Fox. Well who wouldn't be? I like her too, but he is absolutely CRAZED with her. He talks about her 24/7. It gets kind of annoying, as he never wants to talk about anything else when he gets on the subject. It makes me feel like he wants me to be more like her, and I'd have to starve myself to have an amazing body like that. Any suggestions? Or should I just get over it? Thanks. (link)
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He's an idiot and relatively shallow.
Its not normal to parade around with an obsession about a celebrity past the age of 12 or 13. If your boyfriend is 12 or 13, you're going to have to deal with it because there is nothing you can do to make him grow up faster.
If your boyfriend is older, you're going to have to leave him, because there's still likely nothing you can do to make him grow up faster.
Stop tolerating it. Boys in relationships don't grow up until they find a woman who they want enough that they don't leave when she calls them on their shit. Call him on his shit, if things don't work out there's a maturity gap thats insurmountable at this point.
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I am 48 years old & have a 22 year old daughter. A couple of months ago, she met a guy named Paul (my fav name, by the way) through friends. They met up 2x with others & 1x alone. They just went to a bar and talked and back to his house. She told me he was a bit boring and not aggressive enough for her - he didn't even kiss her. I started obsessing about this guy for some reason and wanted them to date, but I don't know why - especially since she wasn't into him. The next month, they texted and talked on the phone alot and made plans to go out Jan 8th. She told me he never called her & I didn't believe her because of his constant attention. By the way, I found his pic on Facebook and he was so cute and her type - tall, dark wavy hair & laid-back. I checked my cell phone bill records and found she texted him something the night before they were supposed to go out, but don't know what she could have said. Obviously, she blew him off; since then he hasn't called or texted her again. She told everyone that he was the one who never contacted her. I told her I know she is lying and why wouldn't she just fess up. She still denies texting him that night. She even told me she texted him the following night & didn't. I cannot stop wondering why she would do this and accept a 2nd date if she didn't like him in the 1st place. Can anyone explain why I am obsessing over this situation? She has had a few other casual relationships and I never cared or obsesssed like I am doing now. I barely eat & sleep & cry in spurts. I lost 15 lbs. Why am I acting like this? Any ideas? I feel like texting him and asking him, but it sounds creepy and really nuts. What is going on with me? PLEASE HELP ASAP!! (link)
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Why is a 48 year old woman typing like she's a 17 year old with the emotional maturity of a preteen?
You found his pic on facebook? Why are you so involved in your daughters life? It sounds to me like you're living vicariously through your daughter, maybe going through or trying to stave off a mid life crisis. In which case you need to deal with your shit and stop being creepy and really nuts. You're an adult for Christ's sake. Act like it.
Either that, or you're a teenager who for some god unknown reason decided to tell the internet that she was 48.
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