about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

ok i tried googling this but nothing came up. its a song and it starts out like "everywhere i go everything i see, i know you'll be right there smiling back at me."

does that seem familar to anyone? do you know what its called? thanks alott.

Hmm. That sounds a lot like the song "Together Again" by Janet Jackson. Except the lyrics are:

"Everywhere I go, Every smile I see,
I know you are there, smilin' back at me."

That's not the beginning of the song itself, but it's the beginning of the chorus.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Ok...im 14/f...
Me && my boyfriend have been going out for 4 monthes... I've been told that it sounds like he is controling me or whatever...
I really like/love him...but could it be he is...
When ever we get in a fight and I tell one of my friends (because i need someone to help me before i end up hurtin myself or something) well he gets mad and yells at me... Or my friend will say something to him and then he tells me to tell them to stop talking to him...
it makes me feel (excuse my language) shitty!!!
he makes me feel like it is always my fault we get in fights! And he bugs me by sayin boys names he thinks i like... i could do the same to him but i dont because we would end up fighting more...
What do I do?? (I want to be with him...)
Please help me!!

Yes, it definitely sounds like he's starting to become controlling. You're probably not going to want to hear this, but I think you should get out of the relationship.
Why? Number one, he makes you feel bad. He makes you feel guilty for talking to your friends and by accusing you of liking other guys. He always tries to make you seem like the bad guy when you get in fights, and that can't be fun, either.

This is just the beginning. This is how a lot of abusive relationships start. If a guy thinks that he can control you mentally, there's a possibility that he can try to harm you physically. You probably can't see it, since you like this guy so much.

You might think that you can change him. Believe me, I've seen girls try to change guys, and it doesn't work. No one will change unless they're willing to. People were given free will for a reason.

You deserve to be in a relationship with a secure guy who won't make you feel guilty for things you didn't even do. I don't care how great this guy may be otherwise; He doesn't have the right to treat you this way.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Hey,
Im 16. I was with this guy for 10 months and at a party i saw this girl who likes him try and kiss him but he pushed her away. So i sent a msg to her saying to watch her back. And then after that party, my boyfriend turned off me, and we broke up. We ended it amicably and we are still good mates and when we hang out he always says he doesnt feel any different bout me and he seems to hint me about how he feels.
What should i do? should i forget him? and did he end it because he likes this other girl?

I don't know why he ended it. It could be anything, really. I don't know you or him, so I really can't tell you why.
You really need to talk to him to see where you stand. When you're alone, and none of you are in a bad mood, you need to sit him down and talk to him, face to face. Don't yell at him or accuse him of anything. That's going to make him defensive and less likely to listen to what you really have to say.
Anyway, you can say something like, "Hey, can I talk to you? I really want to know why our relationship ended if you still have feelings for me. You can be honest because I really want to know."

If he likes this other girl, you should definitely get over him. There are so many other guys out there who you can be with who will care for you as much as you care for them.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave another one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Okay I'm so sad! There's this unpopular girl in my class who has only one friend. When I was walking come she called me a bitch. I never even talk about her and I'm not popular myself and never said anything mean about her or to her and she's not even in my class! I know you'd probably be like, don't think about it. But when somebody calls me somethign mean or accidently, even accidently calls me something a little bit mean, I get realyl sad about it and remember it for years and I don't want to add thsi one on the list. I shouldn't be so sad about it but I am and I've been crying for hours because I'm so emotional

You don't know this girl, so if she calls you a bitch, how likely do you think it is that you really are one? Think about it: Most people who say bad things about others don't know them well. I remember a few years ago, these two girls I knew called me annoying. Well, truth be told, I barely ever talked to them.

This girl is probably bitter and possibly even jealous of you. Like the saying goes, misery loves company. If someone is bitter and jealous, they probably aren't going to be too nice to everyone; They'll just spread their misery, and this is exactly what this girl is doing to you.

You really need to have confidence in yourself. People are going to say things about you for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how perfect you try to be; People will be mean sometimes, but it's up to you to know who you are.

Be nice to her. I'm not saying that you should befriend her, but if she says anything mean to you, resist the temptation to fire back with another insult. Taking the high ground is very good for your confidence. (How many confident people have you met that are mean?)

People will say things about you, but that doesn't mean that you should believe it. You know yourself better than anyone else.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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hey so im really wondering if im doing the right thing here. ok so i used to drink ... for like 6 months but during this time one of my friends (amanda) found out about it and was like i won't be your friend anymore if you drink.. so i didn't stop immediatley but now i've stopped.. but she still doesn't beleive me/has moved on to other friends so i've basically lost her. i also have this other friend (christy) who i drank with and we were really close but now that i dont drink anymore she just hangs around this other girl all the time and never with me... except at school because she hates amanda and all the girls at the lunch table we used to sit at with amanda (because amanda told these girls that we drink and now they dont look at us the same anymore) so me and chrisrty just sit alone together at lunch (basically cuz i have no one else to sit with) oh and then i have this other friend (liz) who i had been really good friends with for the past two years but i kind ditched her because amanda/christy were more fun... and i would go back to hanging out with HER except she kind of makes me feel uncomfortable because she told me she was gay so yeah. so now i have basically no friends because i've lost all of them from both crowds... i'm starting to wonder if i made the right choice by stopping drinking since it hasnt gotten me anywhere and it used to make me feel better about my life when i did.. any advice? please?

Of course you made the right decision by quitting. Drinking is dangerous for so many reasons, which you probably already know, so I'm not going to preach. But I'll tell you this up front: Don't start drinking again. It won't make you any happier and it won't make your problems go away; It will only add to them.

You say, "I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choice by stopping drinking since it hasn't gotten me anywhere and it used to make me feel better about my life when I did." What?! You lost your best friends by drinking! It didn't make your life better; It's what got you into this mess! So yes, your life is definitely better without alcohol.

Anyway, have you tried talking to Amanda? If not, you really need to. When you two are alone, and she's not in a bad mood, you need to sit down and have a good talk with her. Let her know that you quit drinking, but also tell her that you hope that she can forgive you and that you can be friends again. Say what you feel. She might not want to be friends again, but talking to her will probably ease your mind.

Christy doesn't seem like a great friend because now that you don't drink, she dropped you. That wasn't a friendship to begin with, so I wouldn't go back to her.

Don't just limit yourself to old friends, either. Join a club, take up a new hobby, talk to someone you normally wouldn't... There are so many ways to meet new people.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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When should I start looking for prom dresses and trying them on? Because it's almost February and my prom is in May. I want to start looking but I have and will be loosing more weight.

Well, if you're going to be losing weight, then I suggest that you wait until about March or April. That way, there's no rush and a lot less stress.
It is possible that you could get a dress now, and if you lose any more weight, you could get it tailored to your new size. Doing so ensures that you have a dress in time, and it decreases the chance that someone else will have it. Not all dresses can be tailored, though, so keep that in mind. But, if you want to save money, I think that you should wait.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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ok so me and my friend started drinking this summer and even though its fun... it leaves me with a kinda big problem. soo.. our former best friend found out the we drink and has decided that she won't be friends with us anymore just because we do.. i don't really get this because its not like we're forcing her to drink or anything.. its just something we do for fun. we also never get dangerous with it.. then most i've has is 12 shots (and i'm 5' 4" , 95 lbs) soo any advice on how to get her to like us again.. besides quitting drinking? thanks =/

I think you're misunderstanding her. It's not that she doesn't like you two, she just doesn't like the fact that you drink. So, there isn't anything you can do to get her to be friends with you again, other than to stop.

You need to get your priorities straight. What's more important, alcohol (which you don't need to have fun) or a great friendship?

Your friend probably has good intentions. She doesn't want to see her friends hurt because of their drinking.
She also might be afraid that you'll offer her a drink, or that she'll be caught with you two drinking. (And yes, even if she's not drinking and you're caught, she WILL get in trouble as well.)
Plus, do you know how hard drunk people are to deal with? You have to watch them constantly so they don't get in trouble. Honestly, who wants to do that all the time?

You say that you don't get dangerous with it, but if you think that alcohol is needed to have fun, it could easily turn into a dangerous addiction.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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ok so i've always been like a really good girl and stuff.. all honors, does extracirriculars, doesn't fight with parents, the whole deal. well this summer(after freshman year) i started drinking just to have fun but now its gotten me in a little bit of trouble. k. so when i was really drunk with my friends with decided to call up this senior kid who is friends with my friend.so he comes to the house at like 2. and ALL of us kinda take turns hooking up with him... but i only let him go to like.. a little past 1st. sooo the next day he IMs me and is like hey wanna hang out? and so im like sure and we've hung out a few times and now i think i really like him... but ever since that first time we've never done anything physical. my question is do you think its trashy to go out with him because we met so awkwardly? and do you think my drinking has gotten out of hand because of the situation its put me in? thx. 15/f by the way.

I think that you should be on your toes with this guy. It doesn't matter that you haven't done anything physical with him since then; He probably knows that he can do stuff with you, since he already has once.
Honestly, I really don't recommend going out with him. The fact that he would hook up with a bunch of drunk girls makes me kind of doubtful. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but that's just my perspective.

Drinking at fifteen, whether it's a lot or a little, isn't good. Not only is it against the law, but it can really make you do things that you'll regret later.
You met a guy that you really like while you were drunk, but that doesn't make it okay to drink. You haven't had a bad experience with drinking yet, so you might not see anything wrong with it. I suggest that you quit before you do have a bad experience.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I have a deep fear of germs and getting sick. Even the thought of catching a regular cold drives me crazy. I was my hands for 10 minutes, and at school, I wear a bandanna that covers my nose and mouth to help keep the germs away. I mean, hey it's not my fault that kids at my school go swimming in 10 degree weather over the weekend, and then catch a cold. Basically Everyone is sick at my school ALL the time.

Some of my teachers get mad at me when I wear my bandanna, but if they make me sit next to, talk to, and help out sick people, why shouldn't I be able to wear it? I'm not going to get sick because of one stupid person. Last week, I skipped alot of my classes just because I sat next to sick people in them and I don't want to get sick. Mainly because I just started working out, and if I'm sick, I won't be able to work out. (yes, working out is REALLY important to me.)

Now my question, I guess my question is, is there anything else I can do from getting sick? Any healthy tips that you can inform me on? (Besides obvious stuff like washing your hands.) Do you think the bandanna is a good idea? I've actually considered wearing a surgical mask but then people would think I'm even weirder.

Also, how possible is it that I'm going to get sick if I sit next to someone sick, for about 45 minutes every day? (Keep in mind that I'm wearing my bandanna over my nose and mouth.) ANY advice you have would be helpful because I'm flipping out right now.

I'm no expert on the subject, but I do know a few things.

First of all, there's not really a point in trying to avoid germs. Why? Germs are EVERYWHERE. You'd freak out if you knew how much bacteria was in your mouth.

Also, think of it this way: When you get a shot (Let's use the chicken pox vaccine as an example), there's a little bit of the illness in the vaccine. It's not enough to actually affect you, but the purpose is for your body to build an immunity to the disease. So, really, exposure=immunity, for the most part. That's why in most cases, people only get chicken pox once.
Logically, that means that your efforts to avoid germs and illness will probably backfire when you happen to get in contact with germs. Your body can't build an immunity to something that it's not exposed to. Plus, stress isn't good for your immune system, so constantly worrying about avoiding germs will probably make it more likely that you'll get sick.
And just because you're exposed to a germ, doesn't mean that it's going to make you sick. Like I said, you're always exposed to germs, and if every germ we came in contact with made us sick, we'd be sick 24/7.

I'll still give you some tips, though.
-Don't put your hands near your eyes or in your mouth.
-ALWAYS wash your hands after going to the grocery store, due to the raw meat that's sold there.
-Bathroom floors hold more bacteria than toilet seats do, so put your purse (if you're a girl, anyway) on the hook on the bathroom stall's door.
...Honestly, I can't tell you much more, because everything else I can think of is really obvious.

If it makes you feel any better, I rarely ever get sick. I don't need a mask or bandana, and I bite my nails. (And I should stop, but that's beside the point. Haha.) The last time I had to stay home from school because of illness was in middle school, maybe even late elementary school.

I think that you should try overcoming your fear because it's interfering with your life and your education.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave another one in my inbox!
-Manders

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My best friend Sarah just got a new boyfriend - he's only her second. All of the sudden she's been acting really different and I hate to say it but she's kind of a slut now, plus she smokes with him and does drugs and it's just not a good thing at all. Me and another girl called her out on it but she says that we don't understand and he's not really a bad influence and whatnot.

How can we convince her that he's not the right guy for her?

People have free will, so you can't make her see that this guy isn't right for her, but you definitely should try.

Talk to her alone. It will be a lot easier that way. Also, since it's very possible that she could get frustrated, if she yells, don't yell back. It may be tempting, but yelling at someone isn't any more effective that speaking to them firmly. It also makes them more defensive and less likely to really listen to what you have to say.
Tell her what you feel. Let her know that you care about her, and don't want her to get hurt. Be honest and caring. Listen to what she has to say, and she'll likely do the same for you.

It seems to me like she knows how bad this guy is, but feels for him so much that she's in complete denial of his faults. She might not take your advice because of this.
Normally, in situations like these, I'd tell you to let her be and make her own mistakes, but since drugs are involved and she could really get hurt, you'll have to get help. You need to talk to a guidance counselor or her parents about this guy and what he does. I'm not going to lie; She could get pretty mad at you if you do that. But if she has any sense, she'll realize in the future that you were just being a good friend.

And remember that, too. She might say some mean things if you try to take her boyfriend away from her. But you care for her so much that you don't want to see her hurt, and that makes her lucky to have a great friend like you.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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hey my name is danielle and i went out iwththis guy for about 10 months. i reli loved him adn we didnt end things on the best note but it was needed. he lied to me and i reli think that i will never ever get over that its been 6 months and i still lvoe him i was with this other guy recently liek going out and i had to end it because iw anst beign faire to im because i loved guy #1. i dont know wat to do i reli love him and i feel we shoudl be together maybe not now but later and i kno that we both think about eachother uits one of thsoe relatinships that u just know.a nd weve been throough alot and i dno. wat shoudl i do. iw ant to get over him but i cant.?

I think that the only thing that will put your mind to rest is talking to this guy. You said that you can't stop thinking about him, and that you know that he thinks about you. Then, you can truly find out if you still matter to him, and if you can rebuild a relationship with him.

If he wants to get back together, think about it. He DID lie to you; Is it worth the risk?

If he wants to stay friends, respect that decision. Don't pressure him to do anything. You'll just have to move on.

Also, if what he lied about was serious and important, you probably should keep trying to let go of your feelings for him. You deserve (and you'll find) a guy who you can trust.

Getting over a guy isn't easy. First of all, you have to accept the fact that he isn't the one for you. The number-one thing that prevents someone from getting over another person is denial. For instance, you keep thinking that he'll come around, when in reality, he probably won't.
Also, don't mope around the house, thinking of what could've been. Take up a new hobby, be with friends, do what you love... You have so many choices. But if you need to, you can talk to someone about your situation. It helps a lot to express your feelings and ask for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or a listener.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave another one in my inbox!
-Manders

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okay i love my boyfriend of 9 months more than anything in the entire world. theres just one problem, he gets high all the time. he says its impossible for him to stop and i shouldnt make him choose. i know he might sound like an asshole but other than that he's perfect for me. but constantly worrying about him is really starting to upset me.

What your boyfriend said is wrong in two ways.

Number one, yes, it IS possible to stop getting high. However, if he doesn't put forth the effort and doesn't want to, he won't stop. That holds true for any addiction, including smoking and alcoholism.

Number two, he says that you shouldn't make him choose. He knows good and well that you care about him and want him to stop. Ask yourself this: If he keeps doing the drugs, even though he knows that I worry about him, does the high mean more to him than our relationship does?

I'm not saying that he doesn't care about you; He probably does. But understand that drug addictions can take over the lives of the victim, and affects everyone the victim loves and cares about.

Encourage him to get help, and if he doesn't, you definitely need to reconsider your relationship with him. You may say that this guy is perfect for you, but you deserve someone who appreciates the fact that you care for him, not someone who puts drugs before you.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave another one in my inbox!
-Manders

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how can i hide my anorexia from my parents?

You're probably not going to want to hear this, but honestly, I doubt any columnist on this website is going to tell you how to hide your anorexia from your parents.

Why? Because you don't need to hide it, you need help. You think, "Oh, starving myself is going to make me skinny and beautiful!" Wrong. By starving yourself, you are risking the chance of having a child in the future, permanant damage to your body in many areas due to lack of nutrients, and possibly your life.
For what, to look skinny? You're risking your health and your life for "looking good." There's so much more to a person, and to life, than what's on the outside. That sounds so cliche, but it couldn't be any more true.

Food shouldn't control your life; you should be in control. You're letting food become your main focus, and there's so much more to life than that.

Please, please, PLEASE tell your parents or another adult you trust about your anorexia. You aren't alone.

I hope I helped, and even if I didn't, I had to say something.
-Manders

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What are the bands that the Red Hot Chili Peppers imitate in their Dani California video?

Wow, there were a lot. The ones that I'm sure of are Elvis Presley, The Beatles, and Nirvana. At the end, though, when the lead singer (Anthony) is wearing a black shirt and a tie, they could be imitating My Chemical Romance, but I'm not sure.

I read a quote somewhere that says that the video is more interpretations of certain eras in music (punk, hair bands, funk, etc.) rather than actual people. If you want more information, you can go here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dani_California

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox.
-Manders

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HELP ME!!! I am very needy and extremly dependant on other people, and i get really nervous before presentations or sometiems even before school and i even get stomachaches all my life and they affect me in a bad way. I feel as if people dont think im good enough and I have low confidence in public and i feel like its holding me back. Is there any books i can read, or things i can do to gain confidence, and STOP caring what other people think?

Shyness is a hard thing to get over, especially if you've been that way for your entire life. I used to be like you; Being shy and secretly admiring the ones who had the courage and confidence to speak their minds. You can be that person, and the first step on the way to overcoming shyness is having faith in yourself.

Confidence is the foundation of everything. You need to realize that you can be great and you can overcome your neediness and shyness. The truth is that everyone can overcome it; You just feel inferior to everyone else, so you don't think you can. Well, get rid of that attitude, because you are equal to any other human being on this earth. If you don't believe me, listen to this: You have red blood, you have a heart, you have a brain, just like everyone else does. Remember that.

Your problem might be overthinking things. It all starts with one thought that might go something like this, "Wow, I really messed up that speech today." Then, you start thinking about how you stuttered, so now everyone must think you're a nervous wreck. These kinds of thoughts are irrational, but they can really get to you. It's hard to get rid of them, but it IS possible.
Try putting yourself in the audience's shoes. Remember a time when you saw someone make a minor mistake during a performance or speech. You didn't automatically assume that they were an idiot or a nervous wreck, did you? Probably not.

As for books... Well, I've recommended this book to others before, and I've found that it works. It's called "10 Simple Solutions to Shyness" and it's by Martin M. Antony, Ph.D. It will really open your eyes.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Im 15. in 9th grade. like ALLL of my friends have had sex.. its so weird im like the only one who hasnt. Im perfectly fine with it, im waiting for a serious long relationship where im in love to do it.. but all my friends keep getting hurt, been very close to gettin pregnant. Guys around here treat girls like shit.. there's sooo lil guys that wont use a girl... but anyways, all my best friends who are jus tlike me like wanted to wait a long time to have sex, are having sex in like one month with there sweet talkin boyfriend, there boyfriends are just sayin thing sthey wanna hear to make them think they're in love. I know its not my business, but i loveee my friends to death, and i look out for them. cause im older than all of them.. what can i do, they're too young and ruining their morals over these fake playin guyss....

You can't make people do (or not do) things; Everyone is in control of their own lives and actions. So basically, you can't MAKE them not have sex, but you can discourage it.

All you can do is talk to them about it. Let them know that you care about them, and don't want to see them hurt, diseased, or pregnant. Tell them that the risks of having sex (STD's, HIV/AIDS, pregnancy, bad reputations) are too much for someone so young to handle. Tell them that a guy who rushes to have sex with them is most likely using them, and that sex isn't needed to have a lasting, healthy relationship.
Try to let them know that if they aren't ready for a baby, they aren't ready for sex. At the same time, though, try not to sound too preachy.

If your friends are true, the least they can do is listen and appreciate the fact that they have a friend who cares enough to talk to them about the issue.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Hey. I'm 15 and a female and the guy tht I am talking about is 15 and a male. Okay. So this summer, I became best friends with the greatest guy in the world. But he moved away this summer. See, while he was here he was going out with my other best friend and she loved him and he "loved her," but I had feelings for him and right before he moved, I found out that he had feelings for me too. Nothing ever happened between us and we became more and more distant right before he moved. When he was finally gone, he slowly stopped talking to me and he stopped caring. And now we don't talk at all, and when we used to talk, it was because I was the only one who made the effort. But I want to talk to him so badly and I just want to see him again. I just want him to care for me like I care for him. I like him alot as a crush and I think I always will, but I love him as a friend and I don't think that he understands how much that him not talking to me is killing me. I just miss him so much. I don't think that I have ever missed someone so much in my entire life. What do I do? Do I move on? How do I get him to care again? I'm so sad and I don't want to be anymore.

Maybe he feels the same way. Are you sure that he doesn't think that YOU don't care anymore? If you don't put forth the effort to talk to him anymore, he could think that.

There isn't much you can do, other than to try to talk to him again. Surely, there's someone you know who has his phone number, Myspace, or screenname.

When you first start talking to him, take it slow. Don't yell at him for not talking to you for a long time, and don't hold it against him. Also, don't talk to him too much or smother him, because that will just annoy him. Like I said, take it slow, and keep it light until you get to know each other better (again).

If you want to talk to him so bad, then do so. You may be afraid of the risks (if you're afraid that he doesn't feel the same way) because, really, what good is life if you don't take risks and get out of your comfort zone once in a while? If he doesn't want to talk, he isn't worth your time. I know he was your friend and you care about him, but you deserve to be friends with someone who you care about and who cares about you. Friendships, like any other relationship, shouldn't be one-sided.

He could have changed, too. That could be another reason he stopped talking. If he did change, for whatever reason, you need to accept that and remember that you liked who he used to be, not who he is now. I'm not saying that that's the case, but it's definitely a possibility.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I hope I picked the right category but here it goes...
Alright so im 13/f and my cousin is 23/f. shes been dating her boyfriend for 2 years and she broke up with him and so he killed himself. he warned her that if she broke up with him he'd kill himself. hes only 23! or was..
anyway, him and her dad didnt get along very well. i feel so bad for him bcuz he was brokenhearted but he was a HUGE JERK! His parents are blaming it on HER! I feel so bad 4 her and im not gonna get into details of what he said but he was like "dont worry baby it's not your fault, you arent doing this to me" just to make her feel worse! what can i do to make her feel better? im kinda shy around her cuz i barely know her but i wanna make her feel better please help!

Well, there isn't too much you can do to make her feel better. The only thing that could possibly give her peace right now is the forgiveness of her ex-boyfriend's parents, which you can't give her.

Do nice things for her. Bake her cookies. Take her shopping, if you have the money to do so. Burn her a CD of some of her favorite songs. Get some funny movies and watch them with her. The little things matter so much more than you know, especially in times like these.

Give her a hug and let her know that you're always there for her and will always love her. That's what she needs right now.

I know that you want to do more to help her, but since you really aren't in the situation, there's not much more you can offer other than your support and love. It may not seem like much, but it is. She'll definitely appreciate it.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Hi, i wrote the thing about liking another guy besides my boyfriend. well i dont think i put this in the question before but its really weird the way i feel about my boyfriend like one day i will really really like him but then others i get really annoyed.. thats what makes this so hard for me. and dont worry i wasnt planning on going out with this other guy immediatley after because i still care about my boyfriend. but i guess iam just completely lost and do not know whether to end it or not and if i do i dont know how because he will act all depressed whenever im around to try and make me feel bad if i do break up with him and i dont want to hurt him i just want us to be able to be friends. Thanks for helping me though!

Try to figure out exactly what annoys you about him. Is he clingy? Ask him (nicely!) to give you a little space. Does he chew with his mouth open? Politely ask him to stop. It's possible that your problem is small and can be changed.

But if you can't put your finger on what annoys you about him, then you're probably just annoyed with him in general. That's a big red flag that tells you that you should go ahead and end the relationship. You're not happy, and those negative feelings are going to affect and hurt your boyfriend much more in the long run.
If you know that a relationship isn't going to work and you keep it going, you're (in a way) leading him on, which makes him believe that nothing is wrong. When you finally decide to end it, he'll probably be more confused and hurt than if you went ahead and ended it now.

The problem might not be him; It could be the relationship. You might just feel tied down and want to be single again. If that's the case, you might want to consider taking a break.

All things considered, I think you should follow your heart and do what's best for you.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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He's in the same group of friends as me, so we see each other quite often. He'll often sit next to me or stand near me, or follow me into a different room. He often looks at me from across the room and smiles at me, and when we're in a group laughing about something he'll make eye contact with me. He often seems to be listening to conversations I'm having with other people and sometimes joins in, or comments on something I've said. I'm too shy to say anything about liking him, and he's shy as well. Do you think he likes me as more than a friend? What other clues should I look for?

There's definitely a good chance that this guy likes you as more than a friend. The eye contact, smiles, and joining in the conversations are great signs. Other good signs to watch for are:
-He tries to make you laugh more than anyone else. It seems like he puts forth a lot of extra effort to impress you.
-If you're with another guy, he'll either: try to get your attention, glare/say something to the guy, or watch you as you talk to him.
-He compliments you a lot, even on the little things.
-He remembers little things that you've talked about in previous conversations.
-He tries to be alone with you, either when you're hanging out or just in normal conversation.
-He "preens" when he's around you. (Which means he "cleans himself up" by doing things such as fixing his hair, etc.)
-In conversations with multiple people, he seems to be especially interested in what you have to say and what your reactions are to other peoples' statements.

Remember, all guys are different. Some are bold, some are shy. It depends on the guy's personalities and experiences.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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