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Shyness
HELP ME!!! I am very needy and extremly dependant on other people, and i get really nervous before presentations or sometiems even before school and i even get stomachaches all my life and they affect me in a bad way. I feel as if people dont think im good enough and I have low confidence in public and i feel like its holding me back. Is there any books i can read, or things i can do to gain confidence, and STOP caring what other people think?
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Shyness is a hard thing to get over, especially if you've been that way for your entire life. I used to be like you; Being shy and secretly admiring the ones who had the courage and confidence to speak their minds. You can be that person, and the first step on the way to overcoming shyness is having faith in yourself.
Confidence is the foundation of everything. You need to realize that you can be great and you can overcome your neediness and shyness. The truth is that everyone can overcome it; You just feel inferior to everyone else, so you don't think you can. Well, get rid of that attitude, because you are equal to any other human being on this earth. If you don't believe me, listen to this: You have red blood, you have a heart, you have a brain, just like everyone else does. Remember that.
Your problem might be overthinking things. It all starts with one thought that might go something like this, "Wow, I really messed up that speech today." Then, you start thinking about how you stuttered, so now everyone must think you're a nervous wreck. These kinds of thoughts are irrational, but they can really get to you. It's hard to get rid of them, but it IS possible.
Try putting yourself in the audience's shoes. Remember a time when you saw someone make a minor mistake during a performance or speech. You didn't automatically assume that they were an idiot or a nervous wreck, did you? Probably not.
As for books... Well, I've recommended this book to others before, and I've found that it works. It's called "10 Simple Solutions to Shyness" and it's by Martin M. Antony, Ph.D. It will really open your eyes.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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I used to be just like that too when I was younger! I would try alot of things, but nothing ever really worked! It`s just a stage you go through in life, you can`t make it go away. Trust me, you are going to grow out of it, because once your body mature`s your feelings & actions change twoards things, and you become more openly about things, and you get more confidence, dont worry about it, you`ll be fine! i hope i helped :]]
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Its that simple, stop caring what people think.
I know sometimes people say thats 'easier said than done' but in my honest opinion, just do what you feel like - and dont worry what people think. Think positive about yourself! And about everything, try to depend on yourself more. Because its sad, but sometimes, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Everyone gets nervous before presentations, it gets better with practice, believe me. And also, if you practice what you are going to say a couple nights before, you will be a pro in no time! Just practice :] As for the stomaches, I suggest maybe going to see your doctor and getting an anzxiety pill or somethimg, my friend takes those, and they seem to help. And sometimes, its just because you are shy, so make sure you know whats going on.
And last, just love yourself ! :] In public, be who you are, be the best you can be. Smile when you look in the mirror, you are beautiful.
Just be you.
take care hun!
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