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Best friend's boyfriend a bad influence on her.
My best friend Sarah just got a new boyfriend - he's only her second. All of the sudden she's been acting really different and I hate to say it but she's kind of a slut now, plus she smokes with him and does drugs and it's just not a good thing at all. Me and another girl called her out on it but she says that we don't understand and he's not really a bad influence and whatnot.
How can we convince her that he's not the right guy for her?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
People have free will, so you can't make her see that this guy isn't right for her, but you definitely should try.
Talk to her alone. It will be a lot easier that way. Also, since it's very possible that she could get frustrated, if she yells, don't yell back. It may be tempting, but yelling at someone isn't any more effective that speaking to them firmly. It also makes them more defensive and less likely to really listen to what you have to say.
Tell her what you feel. Let her know that you care about her, and don't want her to get hurt. Be honest and caring. Listen to what she has to say, and she'll likely do the same for you.
It seems to me like she knows how bad this guy is, but feels for him so much that she's in complete denial of his faults. She might not take your advice because of this.
Normally, in situations like these, I'd tell you to let her be and make her own mistakes, but since drugs are involved and she could really get hurt, you'll have to get help. You need to talk to a guidance counselor or her parents about this guy and what he does. I'm not going to lie; She could get pretty mad at you if you do that. But if she has any sense, she'll realize in the future that you were just being a good friend.
And remember that, too. She might say some mean things if you try to take her boyfriend away from her. But you care for her so much that you don't want to see her hurt, and that makes her lucky to have a great friend like you.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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sajdhasjgda. i despise ignorant people & i doubt i just spelled that right.
sarah wants to fit in. she's a slut because whenever she's doing stuff with her boyfriend or other guys, she doesn't even know it cause she's on the stupid drugs.
she hasn't listened to you in the past, so you can either give up on her or stay with her. i would stay with her, but talk to her parents about & make sure that they don't tell her who is telling her everything.
i hate to do this because i HATE (not strongly dislike. HATE.)drama & people who start crap. you can make up something. like tell her that you saw her boyfriend making out with another girl or something. that'll piss her off so much, she'll probably break up with her. i would feel horrible if i did that, but it sounds like the situations bad enough that you need to do it. =/
good luck.
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Unfortunalty... you really can't. Since you've said you've tried talking to her, you can do one of two things. One, you can sit back and let her make her own mistakes, or, two, you can get an adult involved. If she isn't in any real danger of hurting herself then I would just let her make her own mistakes. But when she realizes how stupid she is being...BE THERE FOR HER. Don't say things like "I told you so" just listen and help her pick back up the pieces of her life. If you feel that she is in serious trouble just go to to your guidance office and tell the counsler what is going on...the counsler won't tell your friend who told her about it, but your friend might figure it out and be mad...but she won't end up overdosing on drugs...
Kate
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Well, I hate to say this because I know you don't want to hear it, but you can't convince her that he's not good for her.
She really likes him right now so no matter how much you tell her she's not going to listen to you. She's going to have to realize that this guy is bad for her all on her own.
The best thing you can do is be there for her when it all ends, and be there for her now. No matter what she says Sarah really needs you right now!
If things get too serious to where you think she might end up in the hospital from something then tell her parents. She'll hate you for it at first, but in the end it's worth having a healthy best friend alive than a high and pregnant one right?
I hope everything works out for Sarah and her boyfriend. Stay strong for her, she needs you!
-Katie
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