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Q: 19/m
So im joining the service and lately have been running alot. Idk if its from when i used to smoke but i get alot of mucus in my mouth and im not sure why. It doesnt ususally bother me but it feels like since it got cold that its getting worse. Are there anyways to stop that or will it just gradually stop on its own? Also what are some good foods that have alot of protein in them?

You don't mention how long ago you quit smoking (kudos for doing so), but if it wasn't too long ago that could be the reason for the excess mucus. Have you already had your military physical? They'll certainly give you a thorough exam and you'll have a better idea of what might be going on. As far as high protein foods, meats, fish, eggs, seeds, nuts, legumes all have high amounts of protein. The number one?...the almighty egg. Inexpensive, easily portable, and high in other vitamins and minerals, eggs are always an excellent dietary choice. Hope this helps!

Q: Well almost every morning i use daily protectors because some sort of liquid (but not exactly liquid) comes out. I know its gross and hard to explain but wtf is it???

At the time you are ovulating (the process of when the ovaries release a mature egg) you can have a more pronounced discharge. It can vary in color and thickness but is often stretchy and "booger like". This is totally normal. Just be sure to be aware of foul smelling odor or a very obvious change in color. Hope this helps!

Q: My ex of 6 months broke up with me. It was a hasty decision and he was showing regret straight away. Without going into too much detail, I wanted to get back together but he said he was unsure. I decided not to stay in contact and he was p*ssed about that.. he still kept contacting me. Last month he told me he still loved me, missed me and wanted nothing more than me back but he didn't know what to do.

I felt like he was always after a reaction from me. Like he sent me a text out of the blue saying "What you up to" I replied and said What? and he said "Sorry that was my gf who sent that" I didn't reply to it, I just left it and a few hours later he said his friend sent that text and he didn't have a gf..which was so not true. I said ok and told him not to contact me again. We haven't spoke since.

Any way he has started talking to one of my BEST friends who tried getting us back together. He knows that she knows exactly how I feel about him etc. My friend said it's in a friendly flirty way. I know she would never do anything with him, but do you think he's doing it to get to me? Or because he does actually like her? If he does actually like her it's gonna hurt me like hell because one of his friends told me he liked me and I turned him away because I cared about my ex's feelings. (My ex doesn't know about his friend, and I know he hasn't found out)

Hmmm...this guy knows all your hot buttons and he's not afraid to use them. Frankly, he's being a immature jerk and my suggestion would be not to encourage it in anyway. His game playing will stop if you completely ignore it. Pulling the "flirt with her friends" scenario is playing dirty. Do you really want anything to do with a guy like this? He broke up with you, you wanted to get back together, he said he wasn't sure about that so you did the mature thing and stopped staying in contact. He's calling all the shots here. Some people have a real need to be in total control of things and they can't stand it when they're not so they stoop to playing childish games. My honest advice would be to ditch this guy and move on. And, btw, if your "best friend" goes along with this guy then she's not really much of a best friend. That's simply a line best friends don't cross. Hope this helps.

Q: f/16

Writing is my greatest passion, but I just can't think of any inspiration for an original work! I want to get started on a big project and soon, maybe look into the writing world more. Honestly, I never wanted to make a career of it, but it's about the only thing I can do, so are there any tips out there to get out of Writer's Block, maybe get some inspiration back? Any information on publishing and editors would be great too!

Write every single day and don't worry what you're writing about. Keep a daily journal, grocery list or a list of future life goals. Do a quick search online for "writing prompts", this search yields many writing idea websites. Get a copy of "The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Beating Writer's Block" ($9.95, but I got mine at Half Price Books for $3.98). This little gem has tons of ideas, tips, advice and writing exercises. "The Pocket Muse" is another good book to refer to. Keep a little notebook with you at all times. You never know when an idea or observation will hit you. Hope some of this helps! Good luck!

Q: when we do something,we may feel dificult .to solve this problme,what can we do ,what can we learn ,if you can tell me .thank you very much .

Practice, practice, and practice :) There's a wealth of information on the internet. Do simple searches for things that interest you, then experiment with what you find. Your question came up under cooking, so I'm assuming you're talking about maybe trying new recipes? Try easy, quick recipes first and master those. Then move on to more involved recipes. Ask someone with more experience than you if they'd be willing to teach you. I learned to cook by watching my mom. Actually it was her requirement and it really paid off. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: 19/f
so i haven't been dating my boyfriend so all that long, it's been a little less than 4 months, but we've been friends for a couple of years now (if that matters?)
so the holidays are coming up, and i have no idea what to get him for christmas. the thing is, apart from not having a clue what would be a good gift, i'm kind of on a tight budget... i kinduh don't work (i know, i know). i'm thinking i have about $20 to spend on him? it's about how much i have left after getting my parents' gifts out of the way.
but back to my boyfriend. what's inexpensive and something a guy would like? well the second part of that would be fairly simple if he were in the typical guy category. clothes? not something he'd like, trust me. (i know he'd appreciate it, but i want it to be something he'd LIKE, ya know?). cologne? he doesn't wear it (and he smells just fine.) sports apparel? not much of a sports guy.
you'd think "well you know him!" and to jut go with what he likes, right? wrong. his top interests are technology, music, and video games. anything having to do with technology and electronics is either expensive, or he already has the best. music... please, he downloads everything he wants. video games... i know nothing about. & again, he'd pretty much have it.
i can't ask his guy friends because a)they'd ruin it and b) i don't wanna sound cheap with "btw, i only have 20 to spend. plus, i just kind of don't want to. i can't ask him because presents are meant to be a surprise, and besides, i know he'd just say something like, "oh don't worry about it..."
anything edible and omemade or DIY won't cut it; he does a lot for me, so i want to get him something nice, maybe not 'much', but something i know he'll like.
so... help a girl out?

How about burning him a CD of his favorite songs? Customize the cover insert with your own artwork (don't worry, you don't have to be Picasso to do this). Maybe a coupon booklet you make yourself with coupons good for backrubs, etc...be cute or racey, the choice is yours. Do you have a good picture of the two of you together? If so, get a nice frame and give that to him. Several pictures can make a nice collage on artist canvas. Can you sew, crochet or knit? Scarves are the easiest thing to make, in my opinion. Handcrafted gifts are often the best because they're unique and are made from the heart. Hope this helps somewhat! Good luck and Happy Holidays!

Q: I'm a sophomore in college. I dorm. I'm unhappy.

I'm just in such a rut. I'm unhappy. Let me just say that my freshman year was awesome. I had a blast. I had a great roommate and the people that lived on my floor all hung out, even though we tended to do our own thing. My suitemates and I didn't really love going out that much, everyone on our floor usually just hung out and drank in someones room. By 2nd semester I was getting sick of this. I wanted to get out and meet more people. People always made comments about how we didn't go out. I didn't really care.

Now it's my sophomore year. I barely see the people from our floor from last year, everyone lives in different places.. I only have my roommate. The building we're in, nobody talks. Everybody has their own group of friends and nobody makes an effort. I'm miserable. I seriously have no friends. I'm not used to this. I've always had no problem making friends in high school. It's really cutting into my self esteem. I feel like shit. I joined a sport this semester because I thought it'd help and I'd definitely make friends. Nope. The girls are so cliquey. They all were best friends from last year/live with eachother/go out together. I tried but it's just awkward, i feel like I'm being fake. i know they don't give a shit if I come to practice or not. I'm not used to this at all. I feel worthless. Mind you, I go to a huge school. Our class size is 300+ lecture halls. I see new people everyday, and everyone is always on their own schedule not trying to make friends while sitting in class. I have no friends.

And I feel like my roommate holds me back. She hates going out. We both make jokes all the time about how we're our only friends. I'm sick of it. I need more friends. I have so many acquaintances but not a set group of friends. At home, I'm used to having my group of friends that are willing to have complete fun, be myself around, and hang out together whenever. I love my roommate but being with the same person literally every hour of the day, and no one else, get's lonely and boring.

And additionally I don't even know what my major is yet. I want to transfer schools. I'm afraid to start ALL OVER as a junior though. I feel like the whole meeting friends thing will be even harder. It just sucks because as a sophomore everyone already has their set group of friends. I'm just so lonely and I don't know what to do. It really makes me want to drop out of college, not knowing what I'm doing with my life and hating my school.

I don't know, I just need an opinion from someone. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, but it's really just all cutting into my self esteem. I've tried, and it's just making me feel like I'm incapable of making friends/meeting people.

Hmmm..this is a tough one. Many college students experience the feelings you're experiencing in their freshman year. You sound so down and despondent and I honestly wish I had some magic advice to help you. One thing I can say is please, please don't allow other people's actions to dictate how you feel about yourself. If those cliquey girls don't want to let you in then forget them. Who wants a bunch of fake friends anyway? I would suggest not giving up joining groups and such. Check out the boards in your house or commons to see what's going on at the college. You also state you're thinking about deciding on what your major should be. Talk to an advisor, that's what they're there for. You're paying very good money to attend that college, put them to work for you. If you settle on a major that isn't given (or maybe isn't that great) at your current college then don't be afraid to transfer. Many sophmores begin to have doubts about what they're studying and opt to switch majors or even schools. But, if you are planning on transferring I'd make a point of visiting (maybe even an overnight?) to get a real feel for the atmosphere. What is going on at your current college may just not be a good fit for you and you might be happier elsewhere. I hope in some small way this helps. Good luck!

Q: i have been seeing this guy for a month or so..and we are very serious about our relashionship..we both love each other a lot..and the guy has proved to me time and again that he is always gonna love me..and be there for me..i think am ready to take the next step..and go all the way and have sex but the problem is the age thing comes in..i am just about to turn 16..so i dont know if i should do it right now or not?! is it the right time?! is it too early? my guy has left the decision upto me saying that he can wait until the time i dont want to do it .. HELP!!!!!

My honest opinion would be to wait a bit longer if you are feeling this conflicted. You'll know when the time is right for you and your bf to enter into a sexual relationship. But, please be prepared for that time by seeking birth control beforehand. I can't stress how important this is. Since you two are so close to being ready to have sex you want to have some form of birth control ready as well. Personally, I had sex the first time at a very early age and I can truly say I was not prepared emotionally. While your body and its raging hormones may be pushing you forward, your head may need a little more time. Ultimately, it will have to be your decision when making this important step in life. And, remember, it is a very important decision because once your virginity is gone, it's gone for good. I hope this help somewhat!

Q: my friend was afraid to say anything to her parents i would as well she told me she masterbated for along time but she started to have well problems and she didn't know what else to do and could it be possible she ended up having an std germ or something on her hands plz and thank you!! ;)

No, as the previous advicenator states, STD stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease and you'd have to be having sex in order to contract one. You're not specific about what kind of problems she's having, but several things can cause vaginal issues. It could be something as simple as a yeast infection. If she doesn't want to go to a doctor or clinic there are several over the counter creams for this and she could try one of them. But if there is alot of pain, discharge or burning she should probably see a doctor to have it checked out. Planned Parenthood is very low cost or sometimes free and is confidential. Hope this helps!

Q: My ex boyfriend broke up with me, and immediately said he regretted it however he hasn't done anything about it

I chose not to stay friends n cut him out completely n he's so annoyed about it. He said when you see me you ignore me you don't even say hi. Why is he bothered? And he keeps trying to get me to stay friends with him n I don't know why

He's trying to control you by playing games. Don't go along with it. It's almost always a bad idea to try to remain friends with an ex love. What you are doing is best for you, not him, and that's the way it should be. It sounds like you're moving on and that's healthy. Stick to your guns and move forward. Hope this helps!

Q: of being liked?

Strange I know, but does it? I've heard that guys don't like "baggage". (Which is ridiculous because EVERYONE has issues). Anyway when I met someone I'm kinda interested in, I wasn't really crying per say, (I'd actually just gotten done,) so I still looked upset even though I wasn't.

In a word, no. I don't think crying in front of someone ruins the chance of having things progress to a relationship. Crying shows you have feelings and are vulnerable. You can't fault someone for that. It's also been my experience that showing these feelings brings out the chivalry in guys. Put the crying incident behind you. Hope this helps somehow!

Q: so i've dated alot of guys but i can't seem to find the one i'm looking for. i want a guy thats adventurous and willing to do crazy stuff with me like build snowforts together and go scuba diving and all of that stuff. i feel like no guy is willing to put that much time and effort and i feel like since i'm so picky with guys that i'll be single forever. i don't want to live my life with a boring stone though. i don't want to grow up. i'm adventurous and i want to stay that way. i want to find someone just like me that loves to do those things and isnt lazy. also someone that doesn't just SAY they wanna do it but actually DOES it. i feel like no guy like that exists and i want to give up.

The fact that you know what you want out of life and a relationship puts you several steps ahead of many people. Too many people wander through life making mistakes and choosing the wrong partner. Don't give up. There is someone out there meant just for you. In the meantime you can date and have fun all the same. Join clubs that focus on the things you like to do. That will put you in direct contact with people who have similar interests as yours. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: In every school there is always an odd one out.
In this case its a girl. I've felt sorry for her.
I try to be her friend but she's impossible! She's rude,Selfish, and controlling. My newest friend has had problems with her. So I've given up all hope. Should I still try to be friends with her or should I not be her friend?

Now you know why this girl is the odd one out. It sounds like she makes it very difficult for people to be her friend. There could be alot of reasons for her behavior. Maybe she's mistreated at home or lives in some sort of bad situation. She could be controlling of others because she lacks control in other situations. Whatever the reason, it isn't fair for you to have to deal with it. I see no reason why you should have to put up with her attitude problems. Forget it and move on for now. In a perfect world this girl will see the error of her ways and change but I wouldn't count on it.

Q: The loans were not federal. It was a private loan.

Wow, that's very surprising. Unless this loan company had sued you in court and received a judgement against you they had absolutely no right to withdraw money from your acct. Unless of course you had one point had agreed to allow them to directly withdraw payments (this could even have been in little tiny letters somewhere on correspondence from them). If it were me, the first thing I would do would be to withdraw any money from my bank acct asap because you're going to run into this problem every month. You might just have switch to using only cash or money orders for everything at least for awhile. Student loan companies can be ruthless bloodsuckers. Trust me, I know. Good luck!

Q: ok so i was at a dance and i asked my bf to slow dance with me and he said "no way".... what is wrong??? everyone else was doing it!!!

Are you sure he even knows how to slow dance? Or dance at all? Many people are self-conscious about dancing in public for fear of making fools of themselves. This isn't uncommon and you should try not to take it personally. Talk to him about it and see what he has to say. It might make you both feel better.

Q: Hi, im a 17 year old male. I live with my aunt uncle mom and cousin. My mom uncle and cousin all smoke. They each smoke about 2 packs a day. My uncle lights one up as soon as he starts the car in the morning to take me to school so i end up smelling like one going to school. Im usually around one of the three since i live with them. And usually atleast one of them is smoking. Its been like this for all 17 years. I never smoked and im around it all the time i dont think its fair. With one of them always smoking theres litteraly smoke around me 24/7 so when they smoke like two packs a day each its like im smoking 6 packs a day. When ever i run in gym my chest kills, i always get chest colds, i tell them to stop and get they so mad its not even funny. Jesus heroine is illegal and cigerattes are legal? heroine only harms the person using it. cigerates harm everyone around it. and thats another thing..like they think it only stays right next to them..the smoke like my mom will say im holding it away from you or my uncle will say im holding it out the window..the smell still goes everywhere they cant control where it goes. i sware those things are more addictive than any illegal drug. please help

You poor guy! What your family is doing to you is unforgivable! Second hand smoke has been medically proven to more deadly than once thought. This, to me, borders on child abuse, especially since it's been going on your entire life. You are in an unsafe environment, but with probably no alternative because you are still in high school. I urge you to speak to your gym teacher, a coach, school nurse or counselor. You should have a complete medical workup to eliminate any severe damage that may have been done to your lungs and at the same time you will be alerting adults outside the home to what you've been subjected to. I truly hope this helps somehow. Good luck!

**in response to Sageadvisor's direct response to my advice I'd like to say I didn't pull the child abuse aspect of this querent's dilemma out of my butt. This is a nationally recognized issue. Furthermore, According to the EPA, The Surgeon General and The U.S. Toxicology Program, there are more than 50 cancer causing chemicals in second hand smoke. Second hand smoke causes lung cancer, can contribute to sudden infant death syndrome, and ear infections and asthma in children. There is absolutely no safe level of exposure of second hand smoke. I don't think being concerned about a child's health is an overreaction. This young man asked for valuable, useful and candid advice and I gave it to him.

Q: Hey! I'm a sixteen year old girl, sophomore. Okay so over the summer, I went to a party and well the drinks were a little stronger than I thought they would be... And I'm pretty small sooo I got kinda wasted:\... And I normally don't drink. But anyway. I was lacking in judgement and let some guy (junior, 17) he fingered me and that was it. Anyway. That guy... I'm kind if starting to get to know him and I like him... But it's still Awkwardddd... Cause I'm worried he sees me as a huge party girl/hoe and I'm really not!!! But weve never talked about it... What do I do??

This guy should be the one feeling awkward and like an ass honestly. He took advantage of someone who clearly wasn't in the position to consent to any sort of sexual act. I don't know whether or not his judgement was impaired as well. If it was then maybe this might excuse him just a bit. Bring up the subject and watch his reaction. Let him know this behavior was out of character for you because you had too much to drink. If you've been hanging out for awhile he should already have some idea of what kind of girl you really are. Hope this helps!

Q: I need advice on what to do in my situation. One of my school loans automatically took my payment directly out of my account without me authorizing it causing my rent check to bounce. My landlord wants the money in cash by monday but i will not have it available to me until thursday. I have no one i can borrow from. I dont know what to do. Will i get evicted if i cant pay it until thursday? Help!

I'd like to add something about your student loans here as well. From this point on you're going to have this same problem as it sounds like these are Federal student loans that have gone unpaid. The government doesn't fool around and they will garnish your wages on a monthly basis from now on. Very few states prohibit wage garnishment, but the Federal government has the right to garnish wages in all states for non payment of income tax, back child support and for non payment of student loans. Once student loans have gone to the point of wage garnishment there is nothing you can do except quit a job and work off the books. It stinks, I know, because you've probably just spent thousands up thousands of dollars getting an education. I'll leave the rent issue to the previous advicenator, but I just thought I'd let you know about the loans. Good luck!

Q: My vagina hurts and i don't know why,it started hurting after I had sex after the second time. I don't but its like hurts when i touch it,and thats about it. I just wanna know what it could be. Cause im a little scared.

It's very difficult to diagnose vaginal pain without having a thorough examination by a qualified physician. If it was just your second time having sex it could be possible that the hymen (the thin membrane at the entrance of the vagina) wasn't completely torn the first time you had sex and this only ocurred after the second time. You don't say how long ago this second sexual encounter took place. I'd say that if it was more than 2 weeks ago you might want to see a doctor about it. Contact Planned Parenthood if you don't want your parents to know as they keep everything confidential. It is also very low cost or sometimes free. This would be a good time to talk with them about birth control methods if you aren't already taking proper precautions. Hope this helps.

Q: I love my ex boyfriend so much. I know he feel the same way about me. We always breaking up then going back out. This time he went as far as having a girlfriend and even though I say I'm over him I'm not! He told her he love her but I don't think he do because they only been together for a month! we got into one of our biggest fight last week and he pushed me. I didn't know he had a girlfriend until this week. Monday was our first time talking since our fight and he told me that he love me and he apologized for hurting me:( he also told me he broke up with his girlfriend (which i didn't ask him)but he lied because on her Facebook she still have his last name and she update her status about him! I really love him and want to be with him but i don't know what to do!

As much as you might not want to hear this, I feel you should dump this guy. This isn't love. He lies, cheats and pushes you around. That's dysfunctional and unhealthy. You deserve better and the sooner you move on and open yourself up to new relationships the better. If I had a nickle for every problem Facebook creates I'd be as rich as Mark Zuckerberg by now. This might be difficult, but you might wanna temporarily disable your FB account for awhile or at least unfriend this guy for now in order to eliminate the temptation to see what he's up to. I'm speaking from experience. I truly hope this helps.

bio

Merry Meet!
I'm a mom of three grown children. I've been married, divorced and now recently remarried. I've had more than my fair share of life's hard knocks and have been knocked down more times than I can count, but still manage to get back up and go at life again. All this gives me tons of experience to draw upon when giving out my advice. I love people and honestly want to help. Please feel free to ask me questions directly if you like and I promise to answer each one of them.

Brightest Blessings to All!!