A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I had unprotected sex a week ago, seven hours after sex I took plan b, now I've been bleeding heavily for two days and it is not my period, and I felt nautious this morning, I may just be stressing but is this bleeding a normal side effect of plan b, or am I pregnant?! (link)
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Plan B usually causes you to have an early/heavy period. Nausea could be the Plan B or stress but it certainly isn't pregnancy. It takes a month or two for morning sickness type stuff to show up.
Call your doctor. No need for an emergency room visit. Describe your symptoms and answer any questions, then do what he recommends.
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16 yr old Female, UK
My Music teacher is 49. I am 16. I help out in some of his lessons, for younger years. We talk all the time. He tells me funny little stories about his family, and he tells me about his difficult past, personal stuff... but he has always seemed such a closed off man.
He calls me Professor Jane (Jane is not my name, but I don't want to put my name on here), and I call him by just his last name (like smith, rather than Mr. Smith)
I resently left school (year 11) and he wrote a funny limerick about me (teasing me) in my leavers book, and I know he didn't write in anyone elses. He gave me his number, in case I needed it for my exam revision.
We argue, like allot, over all sorts of silly stuff. Like, the other day, we argued about the best Dr from Dr who, and its like real arguing.
He tells me stuff about the school, like stuff about private teachers meeting. I consider him a very good friend.
I suppose this is not a question, more a situation, and I would like your opinions on it?
Thank you
x (link)
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Choose your own adventure!
1. Do you want to have sex with him? If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 6.
2. Is he married? If yes, go to 7. If no, go to 3.
3. Is sex legal? If yes, go to 4. If no, go to 8.
4. Are you still going to school where he works? If yes, go to 9. If no, go to 5.
5. Enjoy your sex with an older man and the resulting stories you can horrify friends with later.
6. He likes you and you do not like him. Keep an eye on it.
7. He's married, what's wrong with you?
8. You're going to get him arrested, he's an idiot, what's wrong with you?
9. You're going to get him fired, he's an idiot, what's wrong with you?
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Ok so i am a 16 year old girl and i think that I’m either bisexual or gay. Because i am not emotionally attracted to men, i feel like i can't trust them and i don't know why, I’ve never been hurt by them. I’ll look at a guy, say he’s hot but that’s it I feel like I can’t ever emotionally connect with them. As with women I’m both emotionally and physically attracted to them. But I can see myself with both. I’ve never really told anyone of how I feel because I am so confused and scared that if people knew they’d hate me. please help! (link)
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Very few people are perfectly straight, perfectly gay, or perfectly bisexual and can date and love and have sex with both men and women.
Most of us fall in between somewhere. Many people who are straight may have only a slight passing sexual appreciation for the same sex. Many people who are gay are attracted in some way to the opposite sex but not enough to do anything about it.
Ever heard of the Kinsey Scale? 6 is completely gay with zero attraction of any kind to the opposite sex, 0 is completely straight with zero attraction to the same sex, 3 is perfectly bisexual.
So, I'm like 1 and you're probably like 4-5. I can't date men, though I find them attractive. I have never once crushed on a guy emotionally the way I do with women. I got married, I had a kid, and I always knew I wanted a wife.
You can see yourself with both now. That might change one way or the other. And it might change again later. I know a woman who dated only guys in high school because she was afraid of coming out and she enjoyed having sex with them, then switched to women only in college and actually started having serious relationships. She got into one relationship with a woman when she was 24, it lasted until they were both 32 when they split after having a kid through artificial insemination.
After spending 14 years of her life dating women only, far longer than she ever dated guys, she is now in love with a guy. It's been 2 years since that previous breakup and she met a guy after about 4 months and just fell head over heels with him. The first and only guy she's ever been in love with or had significant amount of emotional attachment to like this, but she says she loves him every bit as much as she loved her previous girlfriend and they're talking marriage and another kid in the forseeable future. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him now.
People change, you will probably change. Maybe I will too (I doubt it, vaginas are just so much more fun to play with than penises) and you should worry less about nailing down a label for yourself and more about spending time with people you find attractive.
Also, in case you're that worried, coming out is a very personal thing. You get to choose when you do it, no one else. If you wanted to just date guys until college or something, that's fine too. You're young, you're not on a timetable to figure this out. Do what you need to do.
:Edit:
Dragonfly you have some weird stereotypes about men and the gender roles you're kind of propping up are more than a little alarming. I understand there's a societal perception about men and the way we work but a ton of it is due more to miscommunication than anything else.
By continuing to pidgeonhole men into categories possessed of certain qualities that might or might not be their own (like the sensitive straight guy who is like a gay man except he doesn't act effeminate or want men) you deny those men (your husband included) agency in their own choices about who they want to be and how they want themselves to be perceived.
At the same time, you reinforce cultural attitudes which permit people to treat men like mindless emotionless automatons who are at the same time caring and providing father figures and Schrodinger's rapist.
Men are raised in our society to be sex seeking, closed off, and selfish. That doesn't mean all of us are, that just means that society continues to prop up ways of thinking which push men in these directions.
You telling a 16 year old girl that her lack of emotional attraction to men is somehow the fault of men rather than just simply an expression of her innate sexual identity doesn't help matters and you should take a long while to educate yourself before you speak on any gender related topic ever again.
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Im 14 and im about to have sex for the first time with a 14 year old too but he has had sex before..
I was just wondering..
Does it hurt? I heard it does because you viagina tears..
And what if the condombreaks?
Im not worried about much right now i just dont want a kid right now.. not ever actually. But if you could please help? Thank you. (link)
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It can hurt. There is a membrane of skin that blocks you inside called a hymen. It is broken during sex if it hasn't been broken somehow already.
At 14 it is also possible that you are not fully grown. Puberty is when your vagina becomes wider and longer in order to be able to accommodate a guy's penis. It is entirely possible that it could hurt because you are not fully grown enough for him to fit and he is more fully grown than you are.
Condom breaks are rare when they are used correctly. If you are going to have sex, seriously, google "how to put a condom on" and then go look for videos. You might end up on a porn site, but you want to see it done before you do it.
Hmm. Ok, go read this http://americanpregnancy.org/gettingpregnant/understandingovulation.html
That is a great resource for things you probably don't know yet. There's a link at the top of that page "the essential guide for getting pregnant" and I think you should read that too. If you know what to do to best get you pregnant you can figure trying to do the exact opposite is a good start to avoiding pregnancy.
Ovulation lets you know the general nature of your cycle, when you are actually at risk of becoming pregnant.
Another resource, http://documentarystorm.com/the-great-sperm-race/
That is a fairly entertaining video, about an hour long, that will explain more interesting things about your body that you probably don't know.
Alright, now second line of defense.
Condoms do break. What then?
First, spermicide. In the condom aisle right next to the condoms in just about every pharmacy I've ever been to they have a box of stuff called VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. It's a little strip, like a thick breath strip, that you basically put inside yourself and let melt from the moisture. Fifteen minutes after insertion you basically have spermicidal gel. It says that it's about 86% effective at preventing pregnancy if used as the sole method of contraception. If a condom breaks, that's a respectable backup plan.
Fair warning, it tastes disgusting, so shower after use.
With the information I've given you, you should be able to be aware of your cycle a little bit. For about a week after your period ends is pretty much your safest time. You have not ovulated yet and your cervix is not open. It's possible you could have unprotected sex and not get pregnant.
This is not guaranteed and you should not risk that, because weird cycles for no noticeable reason happen sometimes. But the odds are on that time being safer than any other.
Something you might want to pay attention to. You might have heard plenty of stories about people getting pregnant the first time they have sex, or the first time with a new partner.
Why do you think that is?
For many women, ovulation is a time of increased hormones. They feel more attractive and more attracted. You literally have an increased amount of sex hormones flowing through your veins immediately before and after, sometimes all the way up until you hit the time when PMS might set in.
When is a woman going to be more likely to come around to a decision about having sex? When she's feeling sexier and more attracted to guys she likes than usual, maybe?
Something to keep in mind. I bring this up because of plan B.
Plan B is great and you should consider it. It's getting to the point where you can buy it over the counter. It's expensive and you have to decide to do it within 3 days after sex, the earlier the better.
Plan B is more important if you are in your fertile time. If you have hit your ovulation and a condom breaks, if it's right after your period you're probably safe. If it's a week after the end of your period, it might have been long enough that you will ovulate while there are still sperm inside you looking for an egg. If you're two and a half weeks from the end of your last period you should be worried and just go get plan b if a condom breaks.
Two more little tidbits of information about condoms.
1) Lube helps and the best lube is lube. Wal-Mart has astroglide. A tiny drop on the head of a penis before you put a condom on will reduce friction and heating from friction and will help make sure you suffer no breaks.
2) The easiest way to test a condom is to put it under a faucet and put some water in it. Not before you use it, but after. If you're worried if it broke, the water test will let you know. Just make sure you get all the water inside and don't let it drip down the outside and freak you out thinking there's a leak.
Now, last, a word about STDs.
Condoms do not prevent them all. They do not stop HPV which can cause cervical cancer. They do not always stop herpes which is untreatable. They will stop a number of things when used correctly but it's never 100%.
At 14 it is difficult to get tested. You should look into it. Adults can and do go get tested (even together) before sleeping with each other. It's a responsible habit to be in. Be aware that some things do not show up on tests for months. Most people will get an HIV test immediately after, then at 3 months, then at 6 months after they think they might have been exposed to it. Other things might not show up for a month or two (like herpes) so you want to be able to trust your partner to be truthful and you damn well better make sure he hasn't touched anyone else for at least 3 months.
If you're still going to go have sex at 14 just be safe and take care of yourself, and do not let him not use a condom under any circumstances. Do not let him or anyone else talk you into taking risks.
Oh, really last thing. If you're going to become sexually active you need to start seeing a gynecologist at least once a year, and you should get on birth control of some kind asap.
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Hi, I am a 14 year old girl. I think I'm very smart when I try and apparently everyone else that I know of thinks I'm very smart. I'm going to be a freshman next year and I wanna make all A's in high school, I know it will be hard but I think I can do it. Also some of the kids in my grade make it look so easy, how can I do that? (link)
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Depends on how smart you are and your school.
I slept through parts of high school and got straight As, but then I'm also smarter than something like 99.2% of the population of the planet (no bullshit) so my limiting factor has always been motivation rather than intelligence.
My motivation sucks ass, I'm probably in the bottom 20% on that. Definitely way below average. I coasted through high school and when I hit adult life then shit got really hard.
For high school, just go in, don't work too hard or stress out too much, and see what you get. Maybe it's As, maybe it's Cs. Work harder or slack off more accordingly.
The thing I would do, that I would pay attention to, is challenges.
Maybe high school will challenge you. If it does, rise to the challenge. Do the best you can do. Be happy with that, because other than educating yourself and knowing more about the world there's not really a whole lot you can do about intelligence.
Motivation, though, can be developed and it can be lost. Challenges are important. If you can get yourself to do something that's hard for you and be happy whether you succeed or fail, it puts you ahead of most of the rest of the world including me, currently. And I'm double your age, for reference.
Always challenge yourself. If school doesn't do it, find something else. It can be a sport, a club, or just a group of friends who you admire and want to improve to be equal to. It can be outside your daily concerns. A political or social cause. You can volunteer somewhere or even just start thinking about working and plan on getting a job while you're still in high school.
Just challenge yourself. Never stop. Because the truth is that intelligence matters little unless you have the will to do something with it. I learned the lesson of challenging and applying myself way late in life. I may be pretty brilliant but I haven't done much with it that I'm proud of.
Don't be me.
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I have a boyfriend we have been together about a 9 months and he's the first boyfriend that I have felt secure and comfortable with I'm 16 coming 17 and really in love with this boy and we want to take it to the next step but I'm not sure that I'm ready to loose my virginity what shall I do? Shall I wait? (link)
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Now is the time to start talking with him about sex.
Too many teens think that at some point you just decide yourself, they decide, then you have sex. This isn't and shouldn't be a pair of individual decisions. You're old enough that the two of you being intimate should be an open topic of discussion between the two of you. You tell him what you want and what you need, he tells you what he wants and what he needs.
Virginity is overrated. It's pretty much irrelevant, and unless you have sex you really, really regret you will not give a shit about not being a virgin ten minutes after you have sex.
What is not overrated is being in a stable relationship where you feel secure and comfortable with the person you first sleep with, because you will remember the experience for the rest of your life.
The question you should be asking yourself is if you would regret sleeping with him no matter the outcome. Let's assume the relationship is stable and sleeping with him would be fine in the short term. That he'd be a perfectly respectful gentleman about it and you'd functionally enjoy the way he treats you in bed.
Would you be upset that you had sex, even though you didn't regret him being your first? If so, wait. Would you have a problem with the fact that at 16 this guy is more than likely not the last man you will date or sleep with? If so, wait.
If you want to discuss this in a little more detail drop me a private question. Give me detail. Why do you want to take the next step? What is the next step to you? Not just the physical act of sex, what are the emotions that are going with it? Why do you feel you aren't ready to lose your virginity? Why did you feel the need to ask others if you should wait?
It sounds to me as if you're more sure that you want to have sex with him than you are sure that you want to have sex at all, if that makes sense. Like you want him to be your first no questions asked but you're not sure if you're ready to have your first time, like, tomorrow. Is that about right?
If so, talk to him and think about it yourself. At some point it won't be a question anymore.
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Heey everyone! Me and a few others in my class had a bit of a debate over something. So I would like to see what u think about the answer.. so we were wondering if its possible to grind up food into very small peices like microscopic then inject it intobyour bloodstream? (link)
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Yeah doctors do it all the time.
But it's not actually like "ground up food" it's a mixture of nutrients specifically made to be sterile (free from germs/disease/bacteria) and able to be processed by your body.
The thing about injecting something into your blood stream is that it is not digested. Digestion breaks your food down into things which your body can process. If you were, say, to somehow grind a sandwich down to microscopic particles and inject it you'd probably end up with kidney failure if not something worse like a blood clot in the brain because your body would be completely unable to do anything with the food. It's not just that it breaks food down into smaller pieces it literally can disassemble things on a molecular level and then send the good stuff into your cells and the bad stuff out your kidneys and colon.
Just injecting food crushed down small enough would cause kidney problems as they tried to filter every single bit of it out of your blood because your body would not be able to actually use any of it.
The doctor solution is to create an injectable substance which is essentially already digested. It's not food so much as the nutrients you need already broken down into a useable form.
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Hello Good day,
I would like to ask something about taking oral contraceptives. I had been using bcp for 3 years now just this month of May I switched to a different brand from trust pills to althea. Because of switching to a different pill brand I took 2 pills everyday cause I'm afraid that I might get pregnant. My boyfriend and I never use condom ever since now I'm just a little worried because usually I have my period on the fourth and fifth day off the pill. It's my sixth day off the pill and still I don't get my period though I'm experiencing some symptoms that it's going to come but still I'm worried. Can taking two pills everyday affect the cycle of your menstruation? Please I need some advice on this. Thank You! (link)
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Yes, taking more than the recommended dose of hormones can absolutely affect your cycle. If you're taking the standard pills they have a hormone in them which takes time to filter out of the body.
I can't tell you what the exact effects would or should be, not a doc either and I don't know what kind of pills you're taking, but doubling up could absolutely screw with your body in unexpected ways. It's probably unhealthy and you should stop and stick to 1 pill a day.
Also, call your doctor. You've already been doing this for a month, he should know about it so he can give you advice.
You're probably not pregnant, it's possible but extremely extremely unlikely. One thing doubling up is not likely to do is make you more likely to be pregnant than if you had just taken one pill a day.
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My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him but I'm only 12..... iI want to but then again I don't want to.... am I too young for this or should I do it? (link)
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You are way too young.
Here are the problems and the ages at which they start to be sorted out.
Physical - You are not fully developed. Your vagina is not as big as it is going to get as you get older. It is not sized and grown to the point that it is supposed to be able to fit a penis in it. Trying to have sex could hurt you in ways sex is not meant to hurt. You might have heard that having your hymen broken can hurt, and it does sometimes. This, though, would be stretching your insides out beyond what they are naturally able to handle, which can cause painful damage to you.
The same way, the nerves which make sex feel good are not fully developed either. Even if it managed to not hurt, that doesn't mean it's going to feel like it should and will later when your body has spent enough time going through puberty that you are physically basically an adult.
Women are physically ready for sex generally between 14 and 18, depends on the woman and when she hits puberty and her body. The older you go, the more ready your body is. By 18, you're good to go. Many women are not really physically read before that age (though they might do it anyway).
Mental and emotional - At 12 you are not prepared for the emotions or the consequences of sex. There are alot of things you have to pay attention to, some of which you haven't learned yet. This is hard to describe to someone your age because as an adult we often take these things for granted, we are used to them and are adults who know how to handle ourselves emotionally.
But this is supremely important too.
The best way to put it. As an adult I know what I need and want out of a relationship. I know when it's ok for me to have sex with someone, when it will be a good experience for me that I want to have. I have plenty of experience with myself in relationships to know what I want and need.
You do not. At 12 you have no conception of how a relationship really works or what guys are supposed to act like. The way you get these things is by dating around, and you should date someone for a very long period before you consider having sex with them when you are young. Six months to a year absolute minimum.
Worse, at 12 you are incapable of asserting yourself as an adult. The second part of knowing what you need is being able to tell other people what you need and tell them no if you are not getting what you need. Because at your age you have no idea what you really need, you are not confident in telling others. Which is why you are here asking us. Because you're still a kid and kids aren't grown up enough to be having sex.
When you are ready for the emotional parts depends alot more on you than your age but I would put the same age range. 14-18. Before that time span no one is mature enough to be having sex (though, again, sometimes they do it anyway). The longer you wait on this, the better off you'll be. Get into high school. Focus on school as much as you can. Date people without the expectation of sex.
Last, social.
You're not old enough to be having sex and have people think it's kinda normal. That's a fact of life, and when you're in school the social matters.
Guys as young teenagers... most of them leave much to be desired. They do not understand limits, boundaries, or respect. Some of them never grow up into decent people, some of them do. But society trains guys that it's "unmanly" to turn down sex or to not want it themselves and not be ready to say yes whenever a girl is willing to have sex with them.
This shapes perspectives. If a guy wants to have sex, he's going to go after a girl who he thinks will have sex with him. This becomes the primary quality you have to have. Who you are and even what you look like matters less than what they think you're willing to do.
Point blank, if you have sex and people find out guys will want to use you for sex. And at your age you have no real idea how to tell the difference between a guy who wants to have sex with you but likes you for who you are as well (a normal guy) and a guy who just wants to use you to get himself some sex (assholes)
The way you tell, eventually, is to date them for a good long while. You see how they handle self control, if they pressure you for sex and if they tell you you should or have to for a reason that matters to them.
If so, dump them and find someone else. You want someone who is understanding, someone who is more than willing to wait until you have decided for yourself that you are ready to have sex with them.
Not that you want to. You're hitting puberty, you're going to want to have sex with people. It's that decision you will make that you trust the guy to like you the next day, that he is there for more than sex.
Find guys who talk to you. Who ask you about yourself in addition to talking about themselves. Talk to them. Flirt with them. Make out if you want. Keep the clothes on and keep their hands above your clothes. If you find yourself wanting sex and it starts driving you nuts, masturbate. Figure your own body out and how to please yourself, because that will be important later when you do have sex with a guy and he wants to know what you like.
Welcome to your first real lesson in adulthood. People will want you to do things you aren't ready for all the time. It's your job to tell them when you are or aren't ready. And it's your job to figure it out. Right now, if you have a question about whether you're too young, you aren't ready. If you have a reason to not want to have sex, you aren't ready.
Do yourself a favor and give it at least another two or three years before you consider having sex with anyone, no matter how long it's been that you've been seeing them.
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What should I do if my parents sell illegal drugs ? Like weed ? (link)
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Do not call the cops.
DO NOT CALL THE COPS.
They are not your friends. They do not want to help you or your family. They want a conviction. Another notch on the belt. They will happily take your testimony and make sure that your parents spend as much time in prison as possible while you go God knows where. If you don't have a family member ready and able to take you when they are arrested (and even possibly if you do) you end up with CPS and maybe in a foster home.
I agree that weed is not the devil. More people die every year from peanut allergies than die from anything marijuana related. In fact, even DUIs for marijuana are almost nonexistent.
Selling weed is dangerous. Your parents could get themselves in trouble and you end up in foster care anyway.
I don't know enough about the situation to say if you should do more than talk to them. Definitely talk to them.
Depending on how they react, if you think you need to do something about it your next step is family members. Their parents, any siblings they have (your aunts and uncles) that you trust, someone in the family who can talk to them adult to adult.
Involving the cops destroys everyone's life. It's not even a last resort. Unless you find yourself in a situation where you think their actions are placing you in danger and you need to get out of their house because of abuse or neglect or something, try family and if that doesn't work just keep your head down and keep out of it. Get out of high school and let them do their thing. If they're going to get busted don't have anything to do with it.
Calling the cops on them, especially if they're only selling weed, is something you would probably regret for the rest of your life unless you need them gone for your own legitimate personal safety.
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Hi! So I'm 14yr guy and at my school, there's a girl in my grade who ALL the guys would DIE to have her alone for 10 minutes. She's absolutely stunning. Let's call her... Maddie So Maddie the other day, was apparently doing something that was turning all o my friends on. And she came over to our table Sat in my lap and started kissing on my neck and ear. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy that, but I have a girlfriend who I (I'm a little young to really call it love) deeply care for. But all the guys at my school tell me i should dump my gf and date Maddie. Now I will , Maddie is prettier then my grade But she's a complete bi#ch (unlike my gf) . So how can I tell her I don like her without upsetting her (I'm NOT gonna be a heartbreaker) and without pissing my friends off? I'm not dumping my GF.
(link)
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Tell your GF first.
She's who you're with, she's the one you talk to. Explain the situation in detail, making sure to emphasize to her that you like her and her alone and want Maddie to leave you alone. Ask her what she thinks and tell her you think you need to say something polite yourself and you don't really know what to say.
This is purely for the sake of inclusion. You make your girlfriend feel involved, ask her advice, treat her like someone you respect and would go to for advice, and she likes it. Anyone would like feeling respected and trusted like that.
As to what you actually say, if Maddie comes over again politely decline. Be apologetic "Sorry Maddie, but I have a girlfriend and I don't want to hurt her feelings by having you sit on my lap."
If she leaves you alone after this, leave her alone. Pretend it never happened. If she continues flirting, politely decline and ask her to stop flirting with you in the future. You don't have to explain yourself beyond "No, Maddie, I have a girlfriend and I like her. I'm not leaving her for anyone."
If she flirts with you once say these things and if she doesn't let up walk away. If she comes after you after you walk away from her (right then or the next day or a week later) I would say something along the lines of "I have told you I am with someone. Acting this way is disrespectful to me and to her. Stop coming on to me. You are making me uncomfortable" and see where that gets you.
Be firm. You're a good kid, and with luck this won't turn into drama. If it does, make sure your GF already knew what was going down so that it's not a nasty surprise that hurts your relationship with the person you actually like.
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I've read online that if you massage your boobs they can grow a cup size in 30 days. The thing is i dont know how to massage them the proper way . Sooo if any information please help.. thanks . (link)
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There are no ways to artificially enhance breast size besides straight up implant plastic surgery (which is terrible and should never be done by anyone).
Love what you've got. It's all you've got.
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So, I'm 17/m and my 4 year girlfriend 17/f recently while we were making out and we do play and so she slipped her hand into pants and started playing with my dick and I felt good, but she wants me to go down on her and we are both virgins. So I've never had sex before and I'm a little nervous and on the fence about it but I really want to please my baby girl. So... I guess any tips on how to get her to achieve a really powerful orgy? How does one EAT a girl out? I googled it already but it wasn't too helpful. Any advice on great tricks to make her squirt and orgy really good? Thanks!
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First, an orgy is a gathering of usually at least 4 people all having sex with each other. What you are going for is an orgasm. That's sexual climax. Cumming. Whatever euphemisms you want to play with.
Second, seriously? Google didn't help? Your google-fu is weak grasshopper.
Google "cunnilingus" or "oral sex instructions" or "how do I eat a girl out" or any number of other things. This is not a sex tips website, we're not going to hand out advice like that.
Third, sex is a skill and everyone's body is different from everyone else. So really this is about reading the basics and then figuring out how they work on your partner's body. Some women like different things, some women cannot climax from oral while others can, and given what I'm thinking the average level of experience is between the two of you I imagine that neither of you really knows your own bodies all that well to say nothing of other people's.
Figure out where the clitoris is and be gentle. Beyond that, it's not that hard, just use trial and error and try googling a little harder.
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So I work at grocery store. There's this sweet man with special needs that always come in, and I always smile and say hi. One day he came up to me and said "HEY, you're the friendly lady!" I laughed and said "Yep, that's me!" so he goes to give me a hug, and his hand swipes my boob in the process. Totally innocent, it was an accident. But as soon as his hand came in contact with my boob, all the hairs on my neck stood on end and I could feel a surge of adrenaline, and my eyes widened. I knew I wasn't in any danger, but my body just did that on its own! Another instance is when a coworker wanted to get a closer look at my name tag, and his hand bumped my boob. Again, a total accident, but the same thing happened. Just a quick surge of terror. Why is that? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? THANKS (link)
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That sounds more like excitement than terror, but I'm not in your head so who knows.
Either way it's normal. People intruding on your personal space can be unsettling whether good or bad, accidental or on purpose. You might find that you date a guy and he touches those areas on purpose and you feel the exact same way and realize that it's just physical excitement. It could be both. A mixture of the realization that you want someone to touch your breasts and the realization that the person who is touching your breasts you really don't want touching your breasts. Hence it's exciting and uncomfortable at the same time.
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Hi. I'm 13 and I'm texting my friends and just recently my dad was doing a phone check and found out I was texting a black boy. He started going off on me and he said I wasn't allowed to text him anymore or I would be in trouble what should I do? (link)
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Listen to Adviceman
There are many things worth rebelling over, this is not one of them. This is an issue that can utterly destroy the peace and stability of your house. And it's entirely your bigoted father's fault.
But you're stuck there until you can support yourself.
Racism is one of the most deeply ingrained prejudices imaginable in the people who are racist. There is no talking with an irrational hatred of people who are not the same color as you. Your father is wrong and you are powerless to make him see that.
In your situation, I'd tread lightly. While you live in his house, this is an issue that could easily bring up huge levels of confrontation. Enough to make your life more miserable than you're capable of coping with at your age.
Don't rock the boat unless you have to. You aren't going to change your dad. But you can make sure you know he's wrong.
I would stop texting the guy. I'd flat out tell him that your dad is racist and that's why, and that you're worried about what would happen if you pushed him. You can tell him you aren't racist, and tell him "I have to live with my father for several more years. It's important that that time is not completely miserable and him and I fighting constantly over a battle I'm not going to win. Sorry." and move on with your life.
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Wassup? I'm 16/m and I have to tell a g at my school how I really feel about her. I love her. For 2 years. Nobody else. Just her. I love everything about her. She's perfect. We're pretty good friends and I jst don't wanna stay friends and I gotta get this foshiznt off my chest. How do I tell her wiout sounding weird? (link)
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Learning to express yourself like an intelligent human being would be a start.
I mean, you left out the U in just. Really? Was the U too hard? I don't get it.
Don't confess. It'll just get awkward. You think she's perfect, no one is perfect. You're a pretty typical teen who's crushed on a girl and built up this awesome image of who she is that probably only vaguely resembles who she actually is as a person. You know, in real life.
Go talk to her. Ask her about herself. Have a conversation. Ask her out to dinner. You don't need to get anything off your chest you need to stop thinking about liking a girl and go out and actually like her in person. Tell her she's cute, ask her out on a date, flirt like the awkward teenager you are and hope she finds you adorable as opposed to annoying.
If she doesn't, move on and flirt with someone else. You're young, it's not that big a deal.
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im 15 ,and im really fustrated with my parents ,mainly my mom because i already know my dad wont buy me nothing , even if his job was high paying , but my issue is that im really into fashion and like shoes , because where i live theres alot of people that are nicely dressed , and have alot of "shoegame" , and everytime i go ask my mom for like the latest pair of jordans that comes out , she alway gives the same excuse like your grades , or your room not clean , or you have an attitude ... the little stuff like that , that i easily can improve , but still doesnt buy me anything . i explain myself to her like everyday how its important to be dressed nice or youll get picked on , or something like that , she just doesnt understand , ontop of that she thinks paying the bills is giving stuff to me , okay but what about the other moms they pay the bills and buy thier children thier wants and need , i look at things like it could be worse , but i also look at things like it can be better , so its a win,loose situation . idk , i just want some things..u know , and my mom gets mad if i ask other relatives for stuff , but doesnt want to buy it anyways ,wow ..pathectic , hun ?
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You are a spoiled brat with literally no appreciation for anything in life. Your parents are teaching you a valuable life lesson (you can't always get what you want) and you are missing it entirely because you're a stupid teenager who is obsessed over fashion like it actually matters.
Hint: It doesn't, your parents know that, and they do not care about your fashion sensibilities. It's their job to raise you, not to buy you the latest pair of air jordans.
You're the pathetic one here. You are a sheep. You are the hivemind. You are what is wrong with the world, buying into fashion crap like it matters and spending hundreds or thousands of dollars (which you did not earn) on stupid crap that does not matter in the slightest in the real world.
Grow up, kid. You want to have shoe game go get a job and pay for it yourself. Be inventive. Mow lawns, wash cars, and other things which will earn money for a generally unemployable person like you.
Learn this lesson now or you'll be just as helpless and overwhelmed by the adult world as the rest of your idiot friends who's parents ruin them as people by buying them whatever they want.
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Hey :) i really like my best friend, and we have known each other for about 3 years now, but i am too scared to risk losing this friendship. I dont know whether i should go for it or try and get over him. I tried getting over him many times, but seeing him in school everyday make it that much harder! help! (link)
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Ever heard the term "Half life" before?
It's a physics term. Radioactive substances slowly loose their radioactivity over time. Some things have a half life of thousands of years, while others might have seconds or minutes or hours.
The half life of your friendship is limited. You like him to the point you've tried to get over him before. Eventually the attraction will die and you'll probably find someone better to be a best friend (someone you genuinely aren't interested in).
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I'm 15 and just got recently into masturbating.. I'm a female. What are any ways to arouse myself more? I would love to be able to orgasm but I don't know how to make myself orgasm, help?! (link)
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Kitten Lover is an idiot and if you can use this website you can certainly use google. Go google "Masturbation tips for women" and you can spend the next five years working through a small portion of the millions of hits that search will generate.
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I've know this guy for almost a year, we used to talk pretty often and hung out a few times. Were both attracted eachother and we hunting about 2 weeks ago and he stayed the night. While we were in bed we started making out and stuff and I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him (because there were other people in the next room) but we continued anyways. He wanted me to give him a blowjob instead of "leaving him hanging" but I didnt want to so I gave him a handjob instead. Since then we've only texted a few times and he always seems busy, his replys are short and really spaced out. Was he just using me and now he's dropping me because he didn't get what he wanted? I'm interested in him but I just feel like I'm bugging him when I text him.
18/f (link)
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Yeah he probably didn't get what he wanted and is keeping you on the back burner in case something he's more interested in doesn't work out.
Even if not he's a guy who asked you to blow him instead of "leaving him hanging" which is about the most unclassy bullshit imaginable. You can do better.
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