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My dad won't let me text my black friend
Hi. I'm 13 and I'm texting my friends and just recently my dad was doing a phone check and found out I was texting a black boy. He started going off on me and he said I wasn't allowed to text him anymore or I would be in trouble what should I do?
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Listen to Adviceman
There are many things worth rebelling over, this is not one of them. This is an issue that can utterly destroy the peace and stability of your house. And it's entirely your bigoted father's fault.
But you're stuck there until you can support yourself.
Racism is one of the most deeply ingrained prejudices imaginable in the people who are racist. There is no talking with an irrational hatred of people who are not the same color as you. Your father is wrong and you are powerless to make him see that.
In your situation, I'd tread lightly. While you live in his house, this is an issue that could easily bring up huge levels of confrontation. Enough to make your life more miserable than you're capable of coping with at your age.
Don't rock the boat unless you have to. You aren't going to change your dad. But you can make sure you know he's wrong.
I would stop texting the guy. I'd flat out tell him that your dad is racist and that's why, and that you're worried about what would happen if you pushed him. You can tell him you aren't racist, and tell him "I have to live with my father for several more years. It's important that that time is not completely miserable and him and I fighting constantly over a battle I'm not going to win. Sorry." and move on with your life.
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I am no sort of a rebel.. but I find this rebellous enough.. What is wrong is wrong and racism is certainly wrong.. If people like us keep our mouth shut and accept the wrong then we should accept that we are non-entities and merely clones. We dont have our own rational thinking..Go and tell your dad what is wrong.. and how is it wrong.. try to make him see the point. And if he doesnot just tell him coolly that what he thinks that is his thinking.. and according to you his thinking is wrong and just because he's wrong. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO THE WRONG THING.
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I hate to say this but with little more to go on then what you wrote. It sounds like your father may be somewhat of a racist. The fact that you can see past the color of your friends skin is a good thing and I urge you to do your best to stay friends with this boy as it is the right thing to do.
For your father to have something against you being friends with someone of color is wrong and I think you realize it. The unfortunate thing is there is not much you can do to reeducate your father to a point he can change his mind.
Most likely his feeling against people of color are deeply seated. Probably from an age earlier than you are now and probably instilled in him by his parents. If I am correct the only thing you can do is to realize we are in another time and people of color are no different than you or I. For the next five years you will have to walk some what of a tight rope at home as to not upset your dad while trying to maintain your friendships.
Be honest with this boy and tell him about how your dad feels and it is not how you feel. It is unfortunate but he has probably seen this before and if you and he are truly friends he will work with you to maintain your friendship while not endangering your relationship with your dad.
The one thing you did not say is if mom feels this way as well. If she doesn't then maybe she can run interference with dad for you. If not then when your 18 and legally an adult dad will have little say in who you see .
I wish I had better advise but unfortunately I don't. Just continue to see people for who they are and not to judge them by the color of their skin.
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