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does it hurt?
Im 14 and im about to have sex for the first time with a 14 year old too but he has had sex before..
I was just wondering..
Does it hurt? I heard it does because you viagina tears..
And what if the condombreaks?
Im not worried about much right now i just dont want a kid right now.. not ever actually. But if you could please help? Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
It can hurt. There is a membrane of skin that blocks you inside called a hymen. It is broken during sex if it hasn't been broken somehow already.
At 14 it is also possible that you are not fully grown. Puberty is when your vagina becomes wider and longer in order to be able to accommodate a guy's penis. It is entirely possible that it could hurt because you are not fully grown enough for him to fit and he is more fully grown than you are.
Condom breaks are rare when they are used correctly. If you are going to have sex, seriously, google "how to put a condom on" and then go look for videos. You might end up on a porn site, but you want to see it done before you do it.
Hmm. Ok, go read this [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
That is a great resource for things you probably don't know yet. There's a link at the top of that page "the essential guide for getting pregnant" and I think you should read that too. If you know what to do to best get you pregnant you can figure trying to do the exact opposite is a good start to avoiding pregnancy.
Ovulation lets you know the general nature of your cycle, when you are actually at risk of becoming pregnant.
Another resource, [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
That is a fairly entertaining video, about an hour long, that will explain more interesting things about your body that you probably don't know.
Alright, now second line of defense.
Condoms do break. What then?
First, spermicide. In the condom aisle right next to the condoms in just about every pharmacy I've ever been to they have a box of stuff called VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. It's a little strip, like a thick breath strip, that you basically put inside yourself and let melt from the moisture. Fifteen minutes after insertion you basically have spermicidal gel. It says that it's about 86% effective at preventing pregnancy if used as the sole method of contraception. If a condom breaks, that's a respectable backup plan.
Fair warning, it tastes disgusting, so shower after use.
With the information I've given you, you should be able to be aware of your cycle a little bit. For about a week after your period ends is pretty much your safest time. You have not ovulated yet and your cervix is not open. It's possible you could have unprotected sex and not get pregnant.
This is not guaranteed and you should not risk that, because weird cycles for no noticeable reason happen sometimes. But the odds are on that time being safer than any other.
Something you might want to pay attention to. You might have heard plenty of stories about people getting pregnant the first time they have sex, or the first time with a new partner.
Why do you think that is?
For many women, ovulation is a time of increased hormones. They feel more attractive and more attracted. You literally have an increased amount of sex hormones flowing through your veins immediately before and after, sometimes all the way up until you hit the time when PMS might set in.
When is a woman going to be more likely to come around to a decision about having sex? When she's feeling sexier and more attracted to guys she likes than usual, maybe?
Something to keep in mind. I bring this up because of plan B.
Plan B is great and you should consider it. It's getting to the point where you can buy it over the counter. It's expensive and you have to decide to do it within 3 days after sex, the earlier the better.
Plan B is more important if you are in your fertile time. If you have hit your ovulation and a condom breaks, if it's right after your period you're probably safe. If it's a week after the end of your period, it might have been long enough that you will ovulate while there are still sperm inside you looking for an egg. If you're two and a half weeks from the end of your last period you should be worried and just go get plan b if a condom breaks.
Two more little tidbits of information about condoms.
1) Lube helps and the best lube is lube. Wal-Mart has astroglide. A tiny drop on the head of a penis before you put a condom on will reduce friction and heating from friction and will help make sure you suffer no breaks.
2) The easiest way to test a condom is to put it under a faucet and put some water in it. Not before you use it, but after. If you're worried if it broke, the water test will let you know. Just make sure you get all the water inside and don't let it drip down the outside and freak you out thinking there's a leak.
Now, last, a word about STDs.
Condoms do not prevent them all. They do not stop HPV which can cause cervical cancer. They do not always stop herpes which is untreatable. They will stop a number of things when used correctly but it's never 100%.
At 14 it is difficult to get tested. You should look into it. Adults can and do go get tested (even together) before sleeping with each other. It's a responsible habit to be in. Be aware that some things do not show up on tests for months. Most people will get an HIV test immediately after, then at 3 months, then at 6 months after they think they might have been exposed to it. Other things might not show up for a month or two (like herpes) so you want to be able to trust your partner to be truthful and you damn well better make sure he hasn't touched anyone else for at least 3 months.
If you're still going to go have sex at 14 just be safe and take care of yourself, and do not let him not use a condom under any circumstances. Do not let him or anyone else talk you into taking risks.
Oh, really last thing. If you're going to become sexually active you need to start seeing a gynecologist at least once a year, and you should get on birth control of some kind asap.
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First let me explain something about young teenage males. They do not have the same definition of love that you do. To them love and lust are the same. When he says he loves you and pressures you to have sex with him to prove your love for him. This is lust talking. It is his raging hormones talking brought on by puberty. Hence the word horny. He is horny and lustful but in love, no. Most likely he will be like other boys his age once he gets what he wants he will be off to find a new girl to conquer.
As for sex hurting you the first time. At your age it most definitely will. Puberty may have given you the body of a women but you are still maturing and changing. Your vagina is still changing and maturing. If your boyfriend has a normal sized or larger penis he is going to hurt you just trying to get in your vagina even before he tears your Hymen.
Now what are the chances of what I have just written being right in your case. About 85% depending on how far along you are in your bodies maturing.
Sex is a wonderful thing. It should happen for all the right reasons not just to prove your love for some horny 14 year old boy. Another reason not to do so with him is 14 year old boys cannot keep this a secret. He will tell his best friend who will tell someone else and the next thing you know every boy in school will be after you because you had sex with him and they will want you to have sex with them. One of those boys may not take no for an answer and just force himself on you. That's rape, it happens more often than you think.
Why am I telling you this. Well I am old enough to be your grandfather and with age comes more wisdom. You need to know why not to do something rather than to be told just not to do so. Also I was once, as hard as this is to believe, a 14 year old boy. I know what and how 14 year old boys think and what they will say and do to get a girl to have sex with them.
I'm not going to tell you to wait until you are married. It would be nice and a great present for your husband. It would also be hypocritical of most parents and grandparents to say this.
What I will say is this boy is most likely a first love. You will have more loves before you find the guy you marry. Wait until you are older and more mature. Until you find a guy who will appreciate the gift you are giving him and make it special for you. Who will see to your comfort and security when you have sex for the first time as this is important for your enjoyment as well as helping you to relax and limit the pain that you will have.
Tell this boy no. If he continues to beg or push you to have sex with him that should tell you it is lust and not love he feels for you.
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It will most likely hurt since it's your first time and you're really young. It's different for each person but since your body is still growing, it could hurt worse for you.
Your vagina doesn't break though, it's your hymen. It can tear but that's not too big of a deal because it can be torn doing other activities too. I think it's normal for a little bit of blood but it's also normal if you don't bleed at all. If you bleed a lot, he did something wrong.
It's partially covered and stretches. So when he goes in, if he does it right, you won't bleed but it'll hurt a lot and your hymen stretches back.
You might want to look more into that.
If the condom breaks, you could possibly get pregnant so it's best to be on the safe side and get on birth control.
Of course there is infections and such to be careful about since he has had another partner before. Best to get checked out just in case because he might not know.
My advice would be to wait until you know your body and what happens, ect. At least your asking because when girls don't know, that's how they get pregnant.
So just be careful, don't rush if you're not ready, get on birth control.
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First of all babe, make sure you are doing this for all the right reasons, do not feel pressured into anything. If I really feel you are ready then there is no stopping what you will do.
It will probably hurt and feel slightly un-comfortable the first time round, but it's not as scary an awful as you would think.. And get a condom that fits well.. If it is too tight or put on the wrong way or too dry then it can break, so use precautions and think hard before you do it.. Ur virginity is the one thing you give but will never get back... Don't make it something to regret..x
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