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I have a weird relationship with my teacher
16 yr old Female, UK
My Music teacher is 49. I am 16. I help out in some of his lessons, for younger years. We talk all the time. He tells me funny little stories about his family, and he tells me about his difficult past, personal stuff... but he has always seemed such a closed off man.
He calls me Professor Jane (Jane is not my name, but I don't want to put my name on here), and I call him by just his last name (like smith, rather than Mr. Smith)
I resently left school (year 11) and he wrote a funny limerick about me (teasing me) in my leavers book, and I know he didn't write in anyone elses. He gave me his number, in case I needed it for my exam revision.
We argue, like allot, over all sorts of silly stuff. Like, the other day, we argued about the best Dr from Dr who, and its like real arguing.
He tells me stuff about the school, like stuff about private teachers meeting. I consider him a very good friend.
I suppose this is not a question, more a situation, and I would like your opinions on it?
Thank you
x
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Choose your own adventure!
1. Do you want to have sex with him? If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 6.
2. Is he married? If yes, go to 7. If no, go to 3.
3. Is sex legal? If yes, go to 4. If no, go to 8.
4. Are you still going to school where he works? If yes, go to 9. If no, go to 5.
5. Enjoy your sex with an older man and the resulting stories you can horrify friends with later.
6. He likes you and you do not like him. Keep an eye on it.
7. He's married, what's wrong with you?
8. You're going to get him arrested, he's an idiot, what's wrong with you?
9. You're going to get him fired, he's an idiot, what's wrong with you?
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It's not illegal him talking or being close to you because your of legal age to do so, however I do not see this ending too well, due to the fact I can't see what a 49 year old man would want with a young woman of your age, he may be the nicest man on the planet, but it just doesn't seem right to me personally but I dont know the full details I suppose.. Do your parents know about this? Does he talk in appropriately at all to you? In any way?..x
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Not knowing the laws in England it is a bit hard to comment with any true knowledge.
What I will say is as long as you relationship with this teacher remains as you have written; their is nothing from what you have written that is inappropriate. Many students have relationships with teachers or other adults that go beyond the point of a classroom or other structured environment a person your age might find themselves in with adults. There is nothing wrong with this.
Where these relationships go wrong is if they go to another level, a personal or sexual level. Then depending on the laws concerning age of consent and student teacher relationships in your County is where problems come in.
If you have finished at this school to move on to college which is are high school I believe or University. Then the student teacher relationship is not a problem but age of consent may be.
This is the best I can offer with out more information and knowledge of the laws concerning students and teacher relationships and the age of consent. I hope this helps you some.
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You recently left school, so why do you care anymore?!
If you consider him a very good friend, then don't report him. I'm sorry, I don't see the problem here.
As you're older, you'll find when you do your A-level or whatever that the futher you progress up the education system, the closer lectures/students are. I know people my age (18) who have teachers as contacts for the future.
You're obviously old for your age and he can see that. But if you consider him a good friend-what's the issue? Its not like he's telling you things an you feel uncomfortable-you like being confided in by him.
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Maybe you remind him of a daughter of his but you already realize how odd this relationship is. Is not the way other teachers relate to students. That is for a reason. Teachers are taught strict guidelines to follow or they can jeapordize their jobs. You may be a very mature young lady and thus attract the attention of older men. But until you are of legal age do not get involved in even an extremely close relationship with an older man because its such a fine line to moving it into an intimate romantic relationship from there.
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As this may all seem innocent, It is inappropriate.
Anything besides strictly student/teacher relationship is inappropriate. To leave his number? To discuss personal issues? No, He has crossed his boundaries.
As a teacher he has authority over his students. When you take on a job, You leave your personal life out of it.
He is a teacher, A role model. This man is not your friend nor is he supposed to be.
You need to report him
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