about

Hi I'm Derfel - & I'm Dannii, trust us 'coz you know what? We're always ....... ALWAYS right! Together we have a phenomenal amount of life experience, advice experience and 'drama management'!! What we haven't come across you could list on the back of a postage stamp (a small one). We'll talk about anything, don't mind getting personal and we genuinely care about YOU! We're hear to help and we're listening. Buy buy just now Derfel & Dannii xx




advice

What do you do if your friend always gets mad at you for the littlest thing, but everytime she does something mean to you and you get mad she always expects me to forgive her right away...but i can get her mad and she never forgives me whenever i say i'm sorry.I always have to beg for forgiveness and then were close friends again, but I'm tired of begging what do i do?

Well just stop doing it. Next time theirs a fight - tell her your sick of the situation repeating its self over and over again and you've had enough of the way she goes on. Then ignore her. Then watch her change. At the moment she has you exactly the way she wants you its down to you to so something about it.
Buy for now, darling
Derfel
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Okay, I'm pregnant. I chose to see my family dotor who has been my doctor for years to go see for my checkups. The problem is everytime I have an appointment and go to tell my in-laws about it they are always comparing my doctor to thier family doctor. Like they say "well Doctor So&So would have never done it that way". And they compare the hospital I'll be delivering in to the one they go to as well. You know, it pisses me off because I think it is my decision what doctor I decide to see, especially in this time of my life, I trust my doctors because i have known them for so long. And I refuse to change doctors because I shouldn't have to. This is my choice. The problem is lately I've been trying to bite tougue my in-laws oppinions but its is getting harder. I don't want to say something mean because they are very nice to me and do alot for me and I don't want to come off disrespectful, so what can I do to keep myself from blowing up at them?

Hi there,
I don't blame you for being pissed off. Its an age old story isn't it, nuance in-laws. Personally I wouldn't keep my mouth shut. How dare they have the audacity to question the skill and ability of a medical profession for no apparent reason. What medical qualifications do they have after their name? The way I see it - if you speak up now theirs more chance you will be polite and sensitive than if you wait and let your stress build up and up. Be definite and let them know that this comments are not helpful nor wanted, or it'll just go on and on.
Good luck with the baby, god bless
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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how do you give a lap dance? and like what are some details and moves you can tell me about it? i really need help, my boyfriend wants me 2 give him one and i want 2..please help me!!!

Yuc! A lap dance? How cheep and sluttish do you want to get
Derfel

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^15, female^

iight...i was w/ my firend and we were hanging out w/ some dudes all weekend...i knew one of them for a while and i had jst met this other 2 dudes and i only knew this one guy *Sam* for bout 2days and i lost *it* to him...i mean there where no feelings no nothing...i mean i don't even care that he hasn't called me or anything...but i feel like it's wrong..and that it makes me look like a whore cuz i did that...but i mean when ppl ask me i'm like yeah i knew him for 2 yrs(but i really only knew him for 2days)...cuz i don't want anyone to think bad of me!...but i did tell myself that i'm not going to have sex till my next boyfriend that i'm serious bout...so does it make me seem like a whore that i lost it to some guy i hardly knew?..and is it tru that you can go to hell for have sex w/ someone you don't love?

lousing your virginity's an extremely personal thing and a lot of people wish they didn't do it like they did but what's done is done and just has to be accepted. However how, when and why you have sex the next time and every other time in the future is in your control. Personally I have to feel I know, like and trust someone to sleep with them, I have to know they feel the same and neither one of us feels remotely uncomfortable. As for 'going to hell' I certainly wouldn't worry about that its just the typical garbage that falls out the mouths of deluded bigoted Christian fundamentalist lunatics
Derfel
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f/15 ok i have been going out wit this guy for about 2wks and he's really sweet, but the problem is that i want to break up wit him. got any tips to let him down gently?

Why do you want to break up with him so soon if 'he's so sweet'? - I presume you do have your reasons? If you do want to finish with him best thing to do is come out and say it straight up. Be polite and sensitive but definite and direct. Don't beat about the bush
Buy for now
Derfel
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if u ar e friends wit some one and u do not know what she thinks of u dose she like me or not i do not know and i was wondering how do u know if some one is ur friend or not

What a stupid question! Are you from this planet or just visiting? - why don't you ask her 'will you be my friend' - sounds stupid doesn't it - because it is. Sorry to be harsh but no body else has this problem and I fail to understand what the hole palaver is.
Derfel

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hey everyone, I am 15 and I need some advice...my boyfriend of 9 months is leavin and movin to Oregon in a few weeks. I live in Florida and I wanna try to do the whole long distance thingy but I dont think that he wants to. I love him soooo much and want to be with him. Does it really work? Should couples that are in love try it? Please Help ME!!! xo0x ~manda [ aka confused]~

To be honest darling if he was in love with you he wouldn't be so reluctant to try a long distance relationship. In fact he wouldn't have to give the decision a thought. So with that in mind do you want to try to make this work? Perhaps a 'we'll stay good friends, we'll keep in touch but we'll move on relationship wise' is the best route.
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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I really like this guy. I like to flirt with him and stuff all the time. I think that if I told him how I feel, we would be going out. The problem is, it's my B/f's ex! I don't know how she would feel! Should I tell him I like him or what?

Hi,

The simple fact is your friend isn't going out with him any more. As two single people theirs no reason why you shouldn't date if you want to. However this is your friend and you'll have to think very carefully about how she'll react and feel. They question you need to sit and think long and hard about is is it worth the risk. I would advise you discus this predicament with a friend of yours, which one? - you got it! I'm a grate believer in making your self clear and keeping everything in the open. Its much better for all concerned
Derfel
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I've been sexually active for about 6 monthes or so now, and I'm going to the gynocologist sometime this week. Will she be able to tell that I'm not a virgin? I'm only 16. Oh, and if she can find out, are they supposed to tell your parents? PLEASE, PLEASE HELP!

Hi darling

The answer to your first question is YES a gynaecologist will be able to tell you are sexually active by a vaginal examination. With regard to your second point: don't worry of course they not going to tell your parents anything. You are entitled to confidential medical treatment and that's what you'll get.
Derfel
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does any1 no how tha female condom is used.. just wonder... Candi

Hi,
Its basically the same in design as the male condom but larger. It is inserted into the vagina with the opening protruding slightly. This makes a kind of 'bag' in the vagina and the penis is inserted in to the condom during sex. This acts as a barrier to seaman in the same way as the male condom. I have been told it rustles like a crisp packet during sex though, which I should imagine would be slightly off putting, lol.
Derfel
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ok i know this sounds stupid..but i don't know what a hetrosexual is! can some please tell me?

thx

Hi there,

A Heterosexual is someone who is attracted to the opposite sex (straight, in other words)

Derfel
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Ok, Well, my hamster Cocoa is acting very sick latley. I love him so much and would do and thing for him. He seems to be shaking almost and sneezing/sqeaking and i think he might even be trying to cough! He is now forming this crust around his nose and just a lil around his nose. I'm so worried about him, does any one know what sickness this could be or how i should handle this?

Hi darling,
This could be a number of things, but theirs clearly something wrong and you need to take him to a vet as soon as possible. Hope everything is OK, god bless.
Derfel
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I'm a 15 year old with a little sister who's 14. We are not allowed to date and outr parents are pretty strict but they love us and just want the best for us. Anywayz lately my sis is rebelling(wearing revealing clothing, getting car rides from guys, etc) and i'm kind of worried about her, i just don't want her to get into trouble from rebelling or from my parents. Also next year i'll be able to drive and i'm expected to drive her but she's got plans to let her friends drive her to and from school and when i tell her it's not a good idea plus it's not fair that her rebelling may get me in trouble if she gets caught since she's supposed to be with me. She tells me that i can't tell her what to do. i don't know what to do can u give me some advice?

Darling, you sound as stupid as your parents - they've clearly done a very good job of brainwashing you. People have to grow up, no matter how much parents or older sisters want to stop them. My experience is that people with control freak, stuck in the past parents (like yours) go wild at the first taste of freedom. That's what your sister will probably do and your parents won't have to look very far to find the two people who are responsible for any adverse consequences, will they?
Derfel

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write me about em...
ugahottie321 on AIM and Advicenators

Hi,

Firstly can I just say I write as a fellow poet.

I have been trying to ignore your posts, but as they take up more than half the message board now its rather difficult.

To be honest with you - your poetry is utterly terrible. You understand nothing of the technical side of writhing or literary techniques but above all your poems are stiff, self conscious, manufactured, desperate, artificial, superficial ... Need I go on? You are asleep to the essence of poetry your just trying to construct poems for the sake of it.

Your first problem is you are trying to be a poet. Instead try to see, feel and understand, open your eyes, ears and mind - then you'll find the writing falls in naturally. I would suggest starting by reading the poetry grates - Shakespeare, De LA Mare, Shelly, Thomas, Lawrence, etc. etc. ... Then expanding that to more modern, way out and 'hidden' poets. Reading is the first key step to writhing. Also it may be wise for you to look in to and read up on , as I say the more technical side. Good Look and I hope you take my comments in the spirit they are intended.

Bt the way, if you do ever write a decant poem, don't post it on hear un-coppyrighted, or anyone and everyone could pass it off as there own.

Derfel
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my friend atdance brags all the time. she say how good she is and shows off all the time. if i get complimented and she doesn't, she tells ME i'm a show off... what can i do to tell her to stop??

Well all I will say is: 1- you decide who your friends are and 2- you're friends should be your friends for who they are ... So you shouldn't need to change them. I'll let you take it from there!
Derfel
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hey one of my bestest friends has this HUGE crush on this totally hot guy. and he is like so perfect for me. lol. well like he knows that my friend loves him and all and like we had heard rumors that he liked her too. but i dont think he does. ne way i am in love with this guy. and i really want him but i dont want to have a compatition with my best friend. but i just love this guy, and i WANT HIM!!!

You loyalty lies with your friend. Or it should do! Often the right decisions are the difficult ones. Choices like this are a test of character, prove you have one and do the right thing. It doesn't matter how much you want to get in his pants!
Derfel
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Ok well I am still very much in love with my ex. July 8th we would have been together for a year. We broke up in Febuary. He was my first love and the first person I have ever had sex with. We were suppose to go to prom and everything, but he said that we fight to much. He said that he would always love me no matter what. Then a couple weeks after we broke up he decided he wanted to take someone else to prom and just treated me like shit. We talked about it and he said he loved me but he just wanted to be fiends for now that later on we might get back together. That was in april and I have not talked to him since then. How do i get through to him and get him back??? 16/F

You don't - he is messing you about. He clearly treats your relationship as a game and if you end up back together it'll go on and on. You haven't spoke since April - I think that says it all. - buy for now
Derfel

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ok..i have a boyfriend right now but theres this kid that really likes me and it gets really annoying cause hes always saying how much he likes me and even though i have a boyfriend he still asks me out and stuff and it makes me feel really bad what do i do?! help!!

Hi, you need to take him to one side and have a quite word in his ear. Private, One-to-one. Explain to him the situation and that you are happy with your boyfriend and are uncomfortable with the situation he is putting you in. Be polite and sensitive but at the same time definite and assertive so he's left quite clear. Do it now, theirs no point putting it off, good luck!
Derfel
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My boyfriend is a punk and i am like a cheerleader and im like a prep and stuff i dont know if i shold break up with him because later on in life i mean we might not work because he is a punk and he told me to choose him or cheerleading i am half hawaiian so like i have been doing hceerleading since i was 5 and surfing since i was 2


please help

If he is setting you the ultimatum to change or break up with him , then break up with him! - how dare he, be your self and if he doesn't like it fuck him.
Derfel

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I really am inlove with this boy that my family and i have known since in was 2 years old. we are so in love that i think i want him to be my first. i know about safe sex and all and i am 15 but i am planning on spending my life with this guy. we have everything in common and he is so hansom and sweet, not a jock at all. we really want to be with eachother. but i wonder, does it reall hurt that bad the first time, and how do i get him in the mood for sex?

Hi darling,
Congratulations! Sounds like you're sure you've found the right one. Talk with your partner about sex and your worries and make sure your first time is well planed and not rushed - it makes it all the more special that way. Theirs no reason why sex should hurt even the first time, generally that's just a myth but why not talk your worries through with a sex/relationship councillor or even your family doctor? If you where wondering if 15 is an OK age to have sex then the answer is: YES, of course as long as you both feel ready. One more thing don't be put of my certain people (I'm thinking mainly your parents) who may just dismiss your relationship as a 'teenage crush' or make comments like 'they think there in love'. Love can come at any age and many people find the right one, the one they stay with forever at 15 and even younger. God bless and good look
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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