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jus a couple more poems
write me about em...
ugahottie321 on AIM and Advicenators
<3 fran
I just can’t handle this anymore
My heart is broken and completely sore
There’s more stress than I can take
I wish this was a dream and I could just wake
I want to get away
Not to stay
This place isn’t for me
Why can’t you see
Nothing goes right
No point in being polite
I just can’t stand it
This just doesn’t fit
Please let me go
So maybe I won’t feel so low
another
It’s so easy to love you
I don’t know why
It’s so easy to think of you
No need to try
I wish I was with you
Day and night
I wish I was in your arms
‘Caus then everything would be alright
I love you so much it’s hard to realize
I love you so much I’m touching the skies
Even when I’m not with you
I dream that I am
And even though I miss you
I manage to stand
It’s so hard not to love you
I will always wonder why
It’s so hard not to think of you
I can’t even try
last one
I’m scared to say I love you
I’m scared to let out my heart
I scared to make you mad
Or to do something wrong
Im scared to make a bad move
Im scared to say to much
I’m scared of everything
Every little touch
You tell me not to be
But I can’t help it all along
And the only reason I’m scared
Isn’t ‘cause you’re here
The only reason I’m scared
Isn’t something that you had to do
The only reason I’m scared
Is ‘cause im so in love with you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
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I really love the 2nd one!! and the 3rd one i am sure about everyone can relate to-trix
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I am not a poet. I've never had anything published nor have I ever attempted to. But I do know some things about poetry. First, don't take Derfel's harsh opinion to heart. Derfel (I'm guessing) is an accomplished poet and judges your work on a professional level. I'm sure you're young, and you aren't as experienced as some. These aren't terrible pieces, nor are they flawless. For I think you should be more visual in your approach. Try to use similes, allusions, analogies, etc to help explain your message. Don't just tell us how you feel, show us. And if you can't think of a good word to rhyme, then don't rhyme. I'n my opinion, rhyming is one of the least important parts of poetry. And as for reading great poet's work to get better, you should would be careful what you read. Make sure you have a dictionary handy if you read any of Percy Shelley or Dylan Thomas, they tend to refer to an older language. D. H. Lawrence and Walter De La Mare can have some pretty simplistic work. If you read William Shakespeare, make sure it's not heavily in the Elizabethan vernacular. It can get pretty confusing. Some of his sonnets are less confusing if you really want to get into his work. Hopefully I didn't anger Derfel because of this.
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okie well i completely love the last two buh tha first one dint hit me quite as hard...buh it was k all the same...ya noe?
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OMG! Those r really good!I really like the second two. Try not to ryme so much in the first tho.
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WOW! thats really good.
~jeesica~
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omg u r an exceptional writer! i mean i am totally serious i love poetry 2! from those poems u can tell how ur feeling dont stop writing keep it up and if u want ne more opinions on them just ask me or IM me on irishqtpie7488
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WOW! Those are really good!! I can relate to them and I'm sure many other people can. I can really relate to the first one. But, you did such a great job on them!! I really liked them and it looks like other people did too. Keep posting more because I'll sure read them!! Good job!!
xoxo Kourtney
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Hi,
Firstly can I just say I write as a fellow poet.
I have been trying to ignore your posts, but as they take up more than half the message board now its rather difficult.
To be honest with you - your poetry is utterly terrible. You understand nothing of the technical side of writhing or literary techniques but above all your poems are stiff, self conscious, manufactured, desperate, artificial, superficial ... Need I go on? You are asleep to the essence of poetry your just trying to construct poems for the sake of it.
Your first problem is you are trying to be a poet. Instead try to see, feel and understand, open your eyes, ears and mind - then you'll find the writing falls in naturally. I would suggest starting by reading the poetry grates - Shakespeare, De LA Mare, Shelly, Thomas, Lawrence, etc. etc. ... Then expanding that to more modern, way out and 'hidden' poets. Reading is the first key step to writhing. Also it may be wise for you to look in to and read up on , as I say the more technical side. Good Look and I hope you take my comments in the spirit they are intended.
Bt the way, if you do ever write a decant poem, don't post it on hear un-coppyrighted, or anyone and everyone could pass it off as there own.
Derfel
X
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those r awesome!! soooo good!! i can relate to em a lot! =)
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i luv them. they are really good. my favorite one is the third one. but they were all really good. so who the special guy?!?!?!?! lol....keep up the good work.
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Wow, you are really good. And they both have good meanings behind them. At first they sound the same, until you look at the details that you wrote in them. I do like how it is based on love but different points of view of love. Very creative
Lizzy
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