I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Okay so I am a girl, and I am a teenager. Alright so, my best friend ever has this boyfriend and she really loves him. The problem is she is in a huuuge fight with him and they wont talk at all. I was texting him and he said he is probably going to move to a different state with his brother. I don't know if I should tell my best friend or not, If I don't she may never know or when he tells her and she finds out I knew, she will hate me. But if I do tell her and he was gonna tell her I might ruin them making up and she will hate me..... or she will get all depressed because he didn't tell her or I don't know..... please help me
~someone who doesn't know what to do :/ (link)
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STAY OUT OF IT COMPLETELY! This is their mess and secret to learn or share NOT yours. If you get involved and say what you heard/know NONE of them will ever trust you again and you'll loose them both as friends.
I know your intentions are good but as they say the road to hell is paved with them. You're gonna get bit. I've seen it and been through it myself before and it always winds up the same way you lose them. When it comes to a friend's love life and relationships stay the flip out or end up friendless. It's the one thing you NEVER do with a friend no matter how close or how long you have known them.
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I'm an 18/f
The last three nights I've been having these dreams that include this guy that i was together with 3 years ago. We hooked up three months ago and i didn't mind it i didn't have feelings for him or anything ( i like him as a good friend). I'm totally confused about these dreams i never usually have dreams at all. The dreams have been getting more and more sexual.. I really would like to know why this is happening? (link)
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Dreams are thought pictures. They consist of everything you are thinking of while awake from fears to desires even to things you don't consciously take in. They're also harmless and nothing is wrong here.
The thing is you remember this guy and the sexual encounter from three months ago as something you enjoyed and as a positive experience. Perhaps deep down hidden within you is a desire or a what IF thing going on in your head about him.
Those thoughts are what's coming through in the form of a dream. What it is telling you is that there's something there unresolved about your status with him and have an attraction. Likely, if you talk to him about what he wants friends or otherwise these thoughts will die down and the dreams fade out.
It's normal to have racy dreams about friends, colleagues, people we know in real life and it doesn't always have to mean anything (unless you try acting on it) but in this case it's a memory thing of something pleasant and unresolved issues around it.
Either way you aren't a pervert and it happens to everyone and nothing is wrong. Your brain never goes to sleep even when you do so you get visual representation of thoughts.
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So im 12 and going threw the changes and all ,I just want my own room and some place to cool off when I'm mad but I'm stuck sharing a room with my MOM and DADthere are 4 bedrooms and 7 people including my parents and I have 3 older brothers and 2 are very close in age.i asked my mum if they could share but she sayed no please help (link)
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At 12 no child should be sleeping in the same room as their parents. I know space is limited here but that's NOT right for your development and health. Besides your parents need privacy too.
Perhaps your folks have said NO to your plea for a room of your own because they know there will be all kinds of fights if they give you what you want.
I think what you need to do here is tell your parents "I don't want to sound selfish or deprive my brothers of something but I'm the only girl, I'm going through puberty and feel embarrassed and in need of privacy or a place I can retreat to." Ask again for them to reconsider.
One thing you could do is tell a teacher you trust about the situation or a relative that knows mom and dad of your sleeping arrangements and longing for privacy. Maybe if they bring it up that you really need it and apply pressure they'll do something.
One thing you could suggest is that the oldest boys share bunk beds in 1 room. The other sibling in another room, you in yours and mom& dad in the other spacing it out so two kids get a room each, they do and the others have bunk beds especially if already sharing. That way it's all distributed nicely and you aren't viewed as selfish which you aren't.
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It's not like I am a child or even a teenager. I am 21 and am pregnant. I am 5 months along and I feel like I have begun to bond with this baby already. I do not want to give it up for adoption but both of my parents think I should, because my boyfriend refuses to stay with me or marry me. I don't know if their preference for adoption has to do with the fact that they think I'm immature, not ready, or even because the father is Mexican. Real Mexican, he and his parents have never been to the United States. It's not like my parents are telling me this because I'm in college or anything. THEY made me drop out of the school I was attending for 2 years because they would not cosign a student loan when I got laid off and could no longer pay for school out of pocket like I had been doing the whole time. Honestly, whatever I do in life, my parents say I can't handle it. They like to put me down. But fuck it, they live back east in New York, I moved to San Francisco when I was 18, then San Diego/Tijuana. They want me to live in Pennsylvania with family but...no way! I never learned to drive! and I know they are just going to make me feel bad about myself and put me down all the time and try to talk me into adoption. I enjoy them as parents from 3,000 miles away, because they are shitty parents. Should I stay or should I go? By the way, I am on unemployment. I know the state of California would provide me with more state aid for my low income for WIC and low cost prenatal care...than Pennsylvania because I know people who receive food stamps and SSI, and it is significantly higher in CA than PA. Eventually I could get a job again of course. Right now I live with my boyfriend but he has been getting more and more distant as I get further along in pregnancy, which hurts. A lot. Eventually we're just going to both go our separate ways, I can tell because he says he hates kids and he doesn't want one and he doesn't love me anymore. I am also not sure if he has told his parents but I have only met them twice, before I got pregnant. He also takes other girls on dates and doesn't come home every night. Last time we went on a date was 6 months ago. It's kind of like we are just roommates now. Whatever though, it's reality and I still want the baby and I still want to be on the west coast...is that a bad idea? (link)
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It is your decision to keep the baby and it sounds as though that is what you want deep down. So do so and don't be swayed otherwise. However, you are in a bloody bad fix if the boyfriend is distant and plans to bail on you once it is born. It will be hard to raise a baby on your own, no help, no education outside of high school. Very hard.
Even with social assistance from the State of California without a job caring for yourself and a baby is a difficult task and not the greatest situation for you both to thrive.
I KNOW there's been a lot of BS with your parents over the years and resentment. They probably had no choice over the school being in a position that they couldn't do it financially. If they put you down it was likely not meant to scar you but rather to correct you.
I think what you need to do is say adios to the boyfriend and return home with parents and take their help and get schooling and life on track gradually. Visit a lawyer and have them try to sever this guy's parental rights or get child support.
Keep the baby and be firm on that and be secure that they have your back and can help you. Maybe you'll see that it wasn't easy for them to be parents and perhaps they were not ready or equipped at the time. They did their best and perhaps this baby will enrich and heal any problems you have with family. It could be a real blessing for you. That's your best choice.
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Looking for a fast and easy way to hurt myself .. wanting attention and/ or to end up in the hospital.. this is the only thing i can think of, i've tried messing up my kidneys and bladder i have tried cutting i have tried beating my head till it bleeds ...nothing..
(link)
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Why do you want to do this to yourself? What you have said is not at all rational and definitely points to you being unstable and having a mental health issue here.
What you need to do is re-read the question and answer that was submitted and ask yourself if it doesn't sound like you are very sick or see it how someone else would read your words.
Next take yourself to the nearest hospital and e brutally honest. Tell the intake people at the ER exactly what you told us about wanting attention, wanting to harm yourself just to be hospitalized etc.
They will have you meet with a psychiatrist who will treat you and turn your life around so that you can realize you were in a very dark place and of harm to yourself. You're in crisis even if you cannot see it as none of this is normal and is rather a desperate cry for help. Please get it.
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you really think my teacher should get in trouble just for making a comment? Without actually doing anything inappropriate? (link)
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Yes. The comment was dumb. She should not have made it. It's not responsible and is wrong for someone in her position of authority. I'm not sure why you can't see or get that as being so.
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i am a 13/female and i like my friend that my other friend wants to ask out as well. what should i do? (link)
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WAIT! That's what you have to do. If you ask him out and know she has feelings for him you'll lose them both faster than you can blink. That's always the way it goes down.
Here's what to do: Tell your friend that you both like the same guy and value your friendship a lot more and will not act on those feelings but respect her right to ask him out if she chooses. Once she hears this she will back off of him as well for the sake of friendship.
Sooner or later she will move on to other guys or you will. Then if this guy and yourself were single and interested in each other you could act but not if and until then. Definitely don't ask him out and risk a friendship right now.
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so I have this gym teacher in high school who is young, (younger than 30 I think) really pretty and good looking and red headed (I love red heads) and she teaches gym and Health and so we are doing the swimming unit and while in the pool she was walking around and she then said to me and some of my friends later that she likes the swimming unit the most because she likes to look at all the boys without their shirts on in the water and it gives her lots to look at. I honestly have zero problem with what she said, but if some kid who was around me heard it decides to go and cry to someone about it, will she get in trouble?
(link)
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She definitely shouldn't have said it because people can take it out of context not having witnessed the conversation. She should know better. Definitely not responsible. While it may not have bothered you it's a remark that a teacher or someone in position of authority over a minor shouldn't make.
Will she get in trouble? That depends on how her boss views the comment and how much pressure a parent would put on them to do something. She likely would be warned (which she should) about her conduct and monitored but fired? Probably not unless this kind of thing happens consistently and others have issues there.
While you think this nothing and people are whining or crying if they think otherwise it is a serious thing as teachers should not be making these kind of remarks to and about students that are suggestive and or even joking and are trained not to do so. It's about being professional too which let's face it she wasn't.
You may like her and think her good looking etc. but that doesn't have a thing to do with her being in the wrong here.
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Ok I work with a guy who is super smart and would like to "pick his brain" about stuff, He has initally said "I ask ALOT of questions" to his "best friend who is a woman. When I ask him questions about something job related all he says is ok. I know they said he is shy to other people or warms up slowly, but come on when do try to talk to him its just OK. OR he has his "entourage" of women around. He is polite to me, and I am him as well. When do ask his BF questions she just laughs, told her am not trying to hit on him. Just want to ask work related questions and get a better response. Now to her and other women he is an open book. What the heck? I dont over load him with questions or anything. And if do talk to him prefer to do when he's alone. Just tonight heard him and her laughing and whispering cause know she told him what I said. Just want better working enviroment, not trying to flirt with him. (link)
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It sounds like he's a bit of an A-hole for lack of a nicer term. The least he could do is answer your questions even if what seems simple to him isn't to you.
I agree with the poster below that professionalism in the workplace dictates he do as much. Also, he may just dislike you or is weary of talking as he erroneously thinks you are in to him.
I would talk to your supervisor and explain that you are always professional but so-and-so treats you in a nasty attitude for any question work related you ask or in explanation of something he understands but you don't.
Tell them straight up that you don't like the guy at all beyond trying to learn about things he has expertise in. It's best you do it like this rather than a confrontation because your boss can tell him to curb his attitude and monitor it.
I did however, notice that he stated you ask a ton of questions. It's okay to ask questions so long as you aren't interfering with his work or taking up time needed to complete it. By the sounds of your letter that isn't at all the case and he couldn't argue as such with your supervisor.
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A lot of my friends get hit on while they are at work. Guys will ask them for their phone numbers, or leave a number, etc. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER had a customer ask me for my phone number, or leave me theirs.
Why don't guys ever leave me their numbers, or ask for mine? I'm pretty average looking, I guess. I often have a flirty/friendly conversation with customers at the cash register, but they never leave me numbers or anything.
Why? What's wrong with me? I'm 18 btw.
Thanks :) (link)
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There's nothing wrong with you. In fact you are what most guys are looking for in a girl and or dying to find. You are bright and not fake and have your head screwed on straight.
I have a feeling your friends could be exaggerating how much they get hit on. If they aren't they may be hit on because of the place they work for is more relaxed than yours and clientele are different.
Perhaps customers figure it's frowned upon to do that where you work and at your workplace fellow employees won't because of rules about it.
The other thing you have to worry about is how stable and or desperate those guys are to hand numbers over to girls they don't know and met at the register for 2 seconds.
Sure they may be great guys some of them but could also be nightmares so it's not completely cracked up to be what you think.
Having said that if you meet someone you like at work there's nothing wrong with taking a business card and writing your name and number on the back and asking the guy to "call me if you want someone cool to hangout with that isn't into mind games." That may get you somewhere.
There's nothing wrong with you and you'll find someone eventually. You want the right person not just who is available and expressed interest on the spot. I would relax and continue to be your normal flirty self and see what transpires. Also, outside of work try to find new social outlets to meet the kind of guy you are looking for.
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This is the 2 time I've been posting on this board and to be honest things haven't gotten better they've just gotten worse. I would post the other question but I don't want an ip bann.
At this point I just feel like giving up on this dump I call a life. Schools trash, all I see when I go to school is 3 things druggies, rich kids, smart kids. I at this point just keep to myself and try not to talk much and this is really affecting me in a negative way as I can't get help from any classmates and ussually end up doing long heavy work enducing projects meant for 2 alone. And this comes back to the point that I just feel like giving up. I've missed almost 22 days of school just because of stupid fights at home and if im late 12 more times or miss school 2 more days I fail the 9th grade. Pressures stacking and I just can't do this. My school counselor messed up my schedule and now because of that I have to take classes next year with kids younger than me and I can't even take any fun/semi-interesting classes with my friends. My grades aren't bad most are A's with the exception of 2 f's i got last quarter because of a bad teacher and once again not doing projects because of the ammount of work. I tried telling my parent but to no surprise they don't listen and compare to my sisters or other kids. I just want to say to hell with this and just sleep an eternity away. Overall schools terrible, homelifes crap and I honestly don't even feel the need to do this shit anymore. Rage is bottled up inside and I feel like one day im just going to snap and hurt someone. I need help but I have no one to turn to, no one. Please help me, I can't continue this anymore... (link)
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That's right you can't continue living like this anymore but you DON'T and AREN'T going to die to find relief or change in the situation. You are clinically depressed by all accounts and have a mental health issue that can be treated.
What you need to do is tell a counselor you want help and desire to see a psychiatrist (relax you aren't crazy nor need be to see one) and cannot function but that your parents ignore this. They will be able to talk to them about seeing one.
Once you see one they will put you on the right treatment and path to enjoying your life despite whatever is going around you. It takes time but your life could be and will be 10 times better long-term.
Actually, when you think about it you aren't functioning normally or at all and are thinking about death and suicide. You should bypass anyone else and go directly to an ER and be bloody honest and brutal about your state of health while there and get the on call psychiatrist to examine you and start treatment then and there. You need their help.
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i have a friend.. we have been friends for a while now and we seem to be getting closer.. i went over to his house and we were messing around, there was a little bit of eye contacts,hugging n tickling and he got a boner after this.. whats does this mean?does he like me or what??
P.S i REALLY REALLY like him(more than a friend) (link)
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Being male I can tell you during puberty especially guys can get erections for no reason at all. It's possible just the physical act of tickling led to the erection. It doesn't necessarily have to be about liking you. You can't figure out if he likes you based on this.
Hon, if you really do like him and you're growing close and realize it's mutual why not ask him if he would like to try going to a movie or something together and see if there's something to build on there.
If you're already hugging, tickling, cuddling it's a very good sign he's in to you. Now, I don't know how bold you are but there's nothing against you leaning in for a kiss if that feels right for you as that right there is fine considering you both are a bit physical already and would spell it out for him.
But.. If it's easier for you just say "Hey would you like to go to a movie, a party, concert, bowling whatever sometime with me?" It would be a chance to hang-out alone and see if you have any chemistry. Let me know how it turns out but you have a good foundation to start from and strong indication he feels the same.
Most guys wouldn't be doing the tickling, cuddling, hugging etc. with you and the eye-contact he's doing without liking you or being extremely close if platonic.
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I really like this guy, but I think he may only see me as a friend and I don't know what to do about it.
We have several classes together, and I end up seeing him a lot around school. If we're going to the same place after class, he'll walk down the hall with me and he seems genuinely interested in our convos, but he's not flirty. He and I sort of tease each other playfully, but I don't know if that counts.
We talk on Facebook once or twice a week. Sometimes I initiate the conversation, sometimes he does. He seems interested in what I have to say, but never flirts with me.
We have hung out before, but it's been almost a year since the last time, and it was always with a group of mutual friends. He's more popular than I am, and while I wouldn't say he is "traditionally" attractive, he does manage to get girls.
We've been in the same classes all year, but just recently started to get very friendly. I just don't really know how to comprehend his behavior, or show my interest in a non-creepy way.
Thanks!
(link)
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Right now what you have is the foundation laid for a friendship. You're getting to know each other and hanging out. He's being friendly but not flirty and seems interested in what you have to say but nothing beyond that.
Generally if someone is interested in you they telegraph it so you notice they like you. It's hard to read him beyond that. I think what you have is a friendship unfolding slowly. It may lead towards something more but right now he's not there yet so be a little cautious.
It's a good step that he's hanging with your friends with you as people not interested in possibilities wouldn't invest the time. You probably should continue this and see what happens especially if his being friendly has intensified.
The other thing you can do is a little bold and test where he's at when it comes to his perception and what he wants and tell him "I really enjoyed spending time with you and my friends. It's hard to talk though one on one with those crazy people around. Would you be open to hanging out just us and having fun?"
If he's in to you he will jump all over that and if he's not you'll know instantly that all he wants is friends if that. You should talk to him like I indicated above on Facebook or text and ask if he wants to hang just you and him. Nothing at all wrong with doing that. Probably your best bet.
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When you get your financial aid money do you get it all in a lump sum or half of it for a semester? (link)
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Usually you only get what you need for each semester from financial aid. They calculate this based on the cost of books, a full semester, and living expenses if you are a resident in a dorm.
One of the reasons they do this is so that they don't give out a lump sum and then the recipient drop out a few weeks in. Pretty much that's how I have dealt with them in Canada.
Some institutions have different policies but the majority divide payments up in chunks and distribute them as you go semester by semester.
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I'm a college student and I've gotten really good grades so far, but only because the classes I've taken have been exam and paper based. I'm taking one class this semester that's largely participation-based, and I'm so scared of it that I'm thinking about dropping it. I'm extremely shy and every time I have to speak publicly, I act and sound so nervous that I'm sure everyone's embarrassed for me. Sometimes in discussions I think I might have something to say and I start preparing myself to raise my hand, but then my heart starts beating really fast and I can't muster up the courage. Most of the time, though, I can't even think of anything to say...I know I'm not stupid, so I'm not sure if I'm just nervous and can't think straight or what. But that's a huge problem. Also, there's this one girl in the class that I'm sort of acquaintances with, and that puts more pressure on me because I feel like she's judging me more since she knows me (not to mention she gives off this air that she thinks she's smarter than everyone else and she participates a ton).
How can I overcome this and start participating?
Or is it worth all the stress, and the potential bad grade & embarrassment? Do you think I should drop the class (it's not even part of a requirement)? (link)
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You would be making a bad decision if you dropped the course. It's a Godsend as it will force you to take a risk and to stop second guessing yourself and your abilities.
Look at it like this you have read the same textbook they have, all of the handouts, taken notes and sat through the same lectures. You know everything that they do so why not open your mouth and say what comes to your brain? You might have insight that they all need.
What I want you to do next time something comes to you in class is to open your mouth and talk no matter what and see that the response you get is a good one. A tip to use is to think that you are an important person with info they really need and can't go without and just talk. That will get you over your fear and great marks. Nobody is judging you in reality at all just in your mind.
You should also find a social club especially student government as that will force you to interact, talk and share your views regularly. I also want you to join a drama class preferably improv which forces you to work with all manner of people different or similar to yourself. Let me know in my inbox how it goes.
It takes time but if you force yourself rather than run from this all the time you will conquer it. You will always be confronted by it until you learn to deal.
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I am in a weird situation. I am 13 and a girl. I'm am in a school where we have vertical tutoring ( in form for half an hour per day where pupils from each year group sit in the same class) there's this guy in year 10 ( I'm in year 9) I have a huge crush on him and I want to know if these. Are signs. The first is that I accidentally dropped some paper under his desk and he picked it up and grinned at me. The second is that he says hey a lot to me at random . Ge okay fights with his friend while looking at me. And when I sent him a skype friend request he accepted straight away ... I want to get his attention but I don't know how thanks for helping (link)
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I think you already have his attention. Just relax and talk to him as usual but don't overwhelm him on social media. Contact him off and on. Send a message like this "Hey it's so and so. I was hoping to get to know you better. My friends and I are having a party and or going somewhere (movies, bowling, whatever) would you like to join us?"
If he's interested in you better believe he will go and if he's not he will pass. Talk to him like you would anyone else at school and let it unfold but inviting him to join your group at some event or party will tell you whether he is interested or not.
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19/F
I've started developing feelings for my closest friend at uni, let's call him R. I'm usually quite shy and though I do have other friends here I'm not close to any of them, and R's the only person I've met so far whom I feel completely at ease around.
We met at a party where I introduced myself to him because I thought he was cute, and we spent the entire night talking/flirting and exchanged numbers at the end. Since then we started talking a lot/hanging out and there's always been this 'are we just friends or is something more going to happen here?' vibe between us. Originally it seemed like he was trying to initiate something more but I wasn't sure how I felt so I backed away a little. However, ironically, after becoming closer I now definitely do have feelings for him. The problem(s)?
1) I'm not sure if we've moved into that place now where, because neither of us have made a move, we're stuck in a 'just friends' dynamic. (Though we are still flirtatious to an extent, not as much as when we first met, though.)
2) He's my closest friend here and I love hanging out with him and I really don't want to do anything to ruin our friendship.
And the worst:
3. We're planning on living together next year (along with others) and that makes this a whole lot more awkward. If I make a move now and/or we ended up seeing each other/sleeping together, R might be more sensible than I am and not want to live together, for obvious reasons. And I really don't want to miss out on that because I would love to live with someone I'm actually close with. (I really like my flatmates but as I said, we're not super close.)
But then I worry that if I wait until we live together to make a move (and yeah, I know that brings up a whole host of other problems, we'll leave them out for now), he would definitely only think of me as a friend by that point.
I know the rational thing would be to just stay friends so as not to ruin anything but I'm tired of always being rational. I've always been cautious when it comes to my love life and therefore nothing's ever gone anywhere and I'm sick of it. I just want to act on my feelings for once, you know? I just don't know what to do. What would you advise?
Thanks x (link)
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Next time you see him tell him that there is something on your mind that you have to let out but don't want it to screw up living together for school or one of the only real friendships you have.
Tell him that night at the party you developed feelings that have only deepened over time as you got to know him. Let him know you have been scared as hell to admit this but have been wondering half the time is their potential for something or will we always be just friends?
I KNOW you are both mature adults so even if he doesn't feel the same (I think he's into you) he will just roll with it and it won't be awkward or anything.
Think about this most guys I know whether they need a roommate or not aren't about to invite a girl friend or not to move in as a roommate. I'm sure he's aware of sexual tension and energy between you but probably unsure how to talk to you about it.
Go talk to him. You have ZERO to lose either way and I know it won't adversely affect school. Your problem is you second guess and over analyze everything and never act and take a risk. If you don't some other girl will swoop in and or he will take his focus off you and on to someone else. You want it? Go get him. All he can say is yes or no. If your gut says he's the one go and find out. You'll forever regret it otherwise. Inbox me with how it goes.
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I am really stressed out and a lot of people always come to me for advice and help with their problems, I never minded before but lately I've been down. It's been 3 days &I can't seem to leave my house, I only go to the bathroom drink a bit of water then go back to sleep. I stopped talking to my closest friend who I have had strong feelings for, for 3 years after I was rejected. I ignore my family's calls my fish died the other day from neglect I feel worse for that too. I'm ready to shutdown and give up. I need help. I haven't gone to work or called in I don't even know if I'll make it the rest of the week. I hate myself. I can't talk to anyone close to me, they tell me I'm being overly dramatic and baby, for me to grow up. Then they presume to talk about their problems or themselves.
I want to give up (link)
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What you really want is your life back. You obviously are depressed and cannot function normally. What you need to do as this is a crisis and you can't function is to proceed to the nearest emergency room and speak to a psychiatrist who can put you on the right treatment.
No matter what be BRUTALLY HONEST with him/her as this is your life and health and let them know you are suicidal as that's very important.
I can tell you know and this is for your own safety that they will want you to stay 72 hours so they can make the right diagnosis, put you on medication, and get you to rest. They can keep you longer legally if they feel you are in danger to yourself or others to you while ill.
All that happens is that this gives you time to rest and heal and be free of anything on the outside that is affecting you. Go on your own to do this as family are clueless that you aren't a baby bu rather someone with a very real psychiatric illness that won't go away unless treated properly. Believe me it's a big deal if you are depressed, not functioning and want to die. Don't ignore this it needs medical intervention pronto.
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I know none of you are doctors but you might have some insight on this:
We are both 22, my boyfriend is healthy weight and healthy inside as far as I know, he doesn't have diabetes or high blood pressure or anything like that. But when we are in bed, he cannot stay hard. He has told me that he really wants to have sex with me but we have tried so many times and we still can't do it. I'm not mad because of the sex, it is just frustrating because I can tell he gets very upset that he can't do it. I don't know if there is anything I can do to help, I try so hard!
Do you think the problem could be erectile dysfunction? And do you have any tips for me/him?
Thanks (link)
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I agree with seeing a doctor and not getting upset with him over it. If he's on or has been on medication for awhile for any ailment that could have sexual side-effects start with eliminating that. There can also be a ton of other reasons medically related for not being able to trap blood long enough for sex.
The other thing is that it could be psychological and a fear of something be it STD, pregnancy, hurting you or some hangup even from when he was younger that gets in his head and kills things for him when he tries to start. Ask him if he's afraid or not and talk about it.
The other thing is that there is actually a product out there that if you are 18+ you can get that works to trap the blood in his penis long enough to engage in intercourse. Adult novelty stores sell it and it's a plastic ring device. It goes by a really vulgar name though so you'll have to describe what you need. A lot of people with this problem use it. Otherwise,send him to the doctor.
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M/17. It's been getting very stressful. During like the 1st 3 years of HS, I planned to just go to college for engineering. In 10th grade me and my best friend started playing guitar. We practiced alot and we love it. And now that I'm finally about to be free of academic work, projects, deadlines, and stupid grades of judgement, everyone wants/expects me to go to college, and I think I'm changing my mind. My friend and I have met people who want to do music too, and we want to start a full band. I cannot fathom how much I want to do this. I understand and have heard that its hard to make a living playing in a band. But if the opportunity is always there, why should I just give up? I haven't even graduated yet and I'm always getting lectures and being criticised. I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. I hated HS, what makes them think I'll enjoy ANOTHER 4 years of blackmail and crap?? It pisses me off cause I know for a fact that if I just told my family Fk college, I'm going to do what I want (link)
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It's always a great idea to have a PLAN B in case things go south for any reason with music and money. You need to be able to support yourself no matter what even if you are quite talented. It's a volatile profession.
Your dad may not know today's style but give him credit he tried what you are trying to do and knows it's a difficult business and people often don't have money and need shitty jobs to continue chasing the dream of success.
What you should do is either take a year off and try everything to make it as a musician and then go to college if it doesn't work or go to college and try to make music in your free time and on weekends there so you have an education to fall back on later.
College and university doesn't have to be this nightmare thing you have built it up to be either. What you should do is find a profession you actually would like if you couldn't do music and select it or you could even do a major in music, music management or performing arts and also get a minor (degree) in something that you and the folks agree is a good plan B. Anyway, you should talk to them about your feelings and see that you aren't that far apart as you think.
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