I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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19/F
Lately I've been noticing that I have a very strong sense of compassion. Normally, I'd think that is a good thing, but it's overpowering. I cry all the time because any time I see a homeless person or someone in need, I feel SO BAD. Like it affects my mood. I feel like I'm not doing enough for society and I get so mad when my friends complain about silly things (iPhone not working, grocery store not having favorite brand of ice cream, etc.) because people are in such worse shape. I feel that I'm at the perfect place in my life to be able to make a difference in the world because I have so much freedom (I can travel, I have no kids, etc.)But I have no idea how to make a difference. I can't just donate money to a random charity. I just have an overwhelming urge to go out and help people and I don't know where to start. Do I have too much compassion? I have no idea how to keep from investing so many of my emotions into this. (link)
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We need a lot more people like you. There's NO such thing as having too much compassion. It's by far NOT a weakness by a long shot. You have a good heart and others you know should emulate you.
What you should do is try and think of the causes that matter to you the utmost. Maybe it's bullying, learning problems, mentally challenged kids/adults or mental health or MADD and responsible drinking/partying.
Once you know what interests you the most you can start approaching their branch offices and associations and volunteer. They want young people like yourself.
If involved with church maybe there are volunteer opportunities there for you from choir to acting, directing or sharing talent for bringing pageants to fruition. You can also volunteer at school for student council as that's a key place to make a difference.
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my life is all messed up,i no more know who i am or what i was supposed to be.its a constant feel of restlessness,its like somebody is stabbing a knife in my heart over and over again. (link)
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You are meant to be here and have a purpose even if you cannot sense it yet. You aren't well my friend. To be brutal about it you have depression or another mental illness that drove you to try and kill yourself.
What I need you to do is go to an emergency room. Don't be scared it's a good thing. Tell them you cannot function normally and recently tried to kill yourself. You must say that and be honest. What happens next is that you meet with a psychiatrist.
All that happens is that he or she will figure out what treatment and medication you need to get better and never have this happen again. In order to do this they are by law absolutely required to keep you for observation for 72 hours.
You might hate that idea but it's designed to keep you safe and from harming yourself plus to accurately figure out how your illness works and what it is plus treatment.
It's not at all bad having been there. You get to rest and go off grid for a bit but still have access to books, music, TV, movies on the ward and family plus meals. They try to make it as comfortable as possible.
They often have social groups and activities on the ward to entertain. It's not all hellish stuff but not easy to go through but they make it as close to home as anyone can in a hospital setting. You need to become well and this is the only way.
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So, my friend wants me to hangout with her tomorrow (Friday). She says that we were gonna tell her parents that were going to the movies (lieing), and have some boy pick us up..idk what to do. She said were gonna drink. Were 15 years old..I just dont feel comforable. What should i do? (link)
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TRUST YOUR GUT! Right now it's telling you that this is a bad situation and NOT to go. You can get in all kinds of trouble with underage drinking and you know that.
Also, you don't know these boys from Adam and what their intentions are. They may be standup gentlemen but they may also be the kind of jerks to take advantage of you especially if not sober.
I would treat this like what your parents told you eons ago about strangers. If you don't know these guys don't get into a car with them or set yourself up for something you can't control.
Maybe your friend knows them and maybe it's okay despite the bad decision on drinking but why take a risk? Simply tell her that your parents need you to go somewhere that night or tell her you love hanging out together but don't feel comfortable with people you do not know, cars, and alcohol. Even if she doesn't "get it" you know you did the right thing.
Also, lying to your parents about where you will be and with whom is stupid to be brutally honest. Imagine if there were an emergency and they needed you and you weren't where they were told you would be. You would lose their trust from there. Do the right thing and decline.
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i need detailed instructions and pictures for proper care of vulva and vagina. how to clean it. for long years im cleaning it with soap. now its very irritating (link)
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I have a link you will want to read to a fantastic site (in my opinion) designed by professional sex-educators for parents and teens called Scarleteen. All of their articles, research, postings are always verified as correct info.
When it comes to the vulva (external genitals) soap and water is all you need. Never and the link explains it best put soap or try to cleanse your internal genitals. It's a self-cleansing organ and doing so can cause irritation and other problems they outline. http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=27;t=002779;p=1
Another thing that causes irritation is perfumed soaps, liquids, washes and that may be the issue a reaction to that. Hope the link helps.
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My mum recently said we need to get me a bra. This is very awkward for me and was just looking for some general advice on how to survive the fitting! Thx (link)
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While NOT a female I did want to offer some advice that may help you. Try to picture in your mind your mother at age 12. She was going through all the changes you are about to experience and was trust me (ask her this) scared as hell too.
She has been in your shoes and knows what it's like to feel embarrassed about anything related to puberty and growing up. But you know what? Mom's your best friend here and has got this covered so you feel the least awkward.
It's okay and probably the best thing to tell her you know you need one but feel scared. It will turn out fine. It's fundamental she is there to ensure the right fit. If at any time something feels weird when trying stuff on tell her. She knows exactly what you need.
Also, store employees who may help to get the right measurements know girls your age and even older can feel insecure about this. They're there to help.
Just remember they may be mom's themselves and all have stood where you do now. They will try to make you secure as that above all is the most important part of their job. They couldn't sell anything without compassion.
Talk to your mom privately about her experiences as a kid and maybe that will help you see that all will be okay and try to find the humor in it or about it.
You may find in the end that it's a memorable milestone but for positive reasons rather than negative this way. If you have same-sex siblings who have gone through puberty and this experience ask them to come or to share notes so to speak about it so that you see it's alright.
Really when it comes down to it they can put you at ease and offer a lot of guidance.
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Hey im 15 and in my school i am reasonably popular but i am probably in the second tier.there is a 'popular group' which i have friends in at school but i have never quite broken in to that group.i dont get invited out with them or get invited to house parties which is tough for me.to show people i can be fun i am considering having a house party.people will DEFINATELY drink but my parents are completely against that so i dont know how i could do that unless they werent there.also,how can i keep a guest list low enough without everyone getting invited by others.and since i never get invited,do people just listen to music and talk at these parties or what? Do you think this will get me more popular or will they just use me and forget about me the next day?Thanks for any help i recieve (link)
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It would be a critical mistake not to have adults on the premises during any party. Have them stay upstairs unless their is a problem and let them be the ones to boot anybody you need gone. Just tell them privately and have them come down and escort anyone out who shouldn't be there.
You can't control people's choices and behavior but you can remove alcohol and drugs from the equation and let your parents control this. Don't have alcohol on the premises and lock it up. If anyone shows up with booze or drugs get your parents involved.
The thing you have to understand is that underage drinking is illegal. If anyone drinks and the police come you all get charged. You are legally responsible for them and by law if God forbid they drive drunk and perish you're held accountable.
If you have never been to a party or hosted one perhaps have it at your place but enlist your best-friend as an assistant party planer and ideas person so it's a success and co-host it.
It is possible to hold a party that is booze and drug free that is still fun and safe. One thing you could do is limit the guest list only to those you want there.
Take 15 people max and explain that it's an event that you and your friend are throwing that will be off the chain but free of drugs and alcohol but with everything you would expect at a party except that your parents are making sure kids are safe while enjoying themselves.
If your friends don't like this than that's okay. Your real friends will show up and support. I know you want to be "popular" and liked by those kids but I will tell you a secret. You're a leader and they are all followers of the head ram in the flock.
They're also usually into drugs or booze and wrecking themselves with it, sex when not ready and other problems. It's not cracked up to be what you think it is.
Some of the "popular" people you invite may genuinely like you and be "good kids" like yourself and will be good friends and interested party or no party. I think you know who they are and they should be invited.
You need to keep this controlled by your parents with the number of kids as you can manage 10-15 but more than that... Give your parents a list of who you invited and who you don't want in your house and why and let them be the bad guys not you.
Will you be "used" by people looking for free booze, drugs etc. or a place to hook-up or whatever other bad scenario--yes but once they know there are rigid rules they won't attend. But the "popular" kids who genuinely like you will. Trust me, if you and your friend come up with a party that is off the chain minus the booze people will go.
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21/F Sorta long but PLEASE read I need help!
So I was dating this guy for about 5 months (he's 19) and at the beginning it was really fun, I mean A LOT of fun like I've never had someone who I can just talk to about anything and everything and be able to laugh so much with. Anyway, once I told him I liked him it kind of went down hill from there.
He started showing his insecure side he would say things like "how can you like me I'm a loser and I'm not going anywhere with my life" and I just let it go because he really was such a nice guy and I loved talking to him.
So we became official about a month after talking and the neediness subsided, at least so I thought. We talked all the time I mean all the time if I didn't text him within 10 minutes he would text or call me again. I guess I didn't really think much of it until the "honeymoon" phase ended for me and I was like dude I DON'T have to be texting you alllll day leave something for the imagination. I guess it doesn't help that I'm very very independent. I LOVE long distance relationships because i love my own space. I can't stand having a guy all over me all the time.
Well I eventually broke up with him because I couldn't take the "Do you love me? What do you love most? Do you see us getting married? Come lay with me. Come cuddle with me. I need you. You are the only thing I have going for me. If it wasn't for you I don't know what I'd do"
I told him we just need to be friends (we tried but he kept asking me why I didn't want to be with him like everyday so I told him we can't be friends anymore) But now he won't stop texting/calling me. Am I a bad person because I really really really don't miss him like at all. I miss laughing and joking but that's it. What do I say to let him down gently and to get him to just back off already!!! Him doing this is not making me want him but just making me glad that I broke it off.
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The thing is you may well be a perfect match. It's this behavior that has pissed you off and changed your perception of him.
He probably is clueless around girls and rejected because he hasn't learned how not to push a girl and that talking about the past or insecurities all the time isn't wanted by anyone. His social skills suck and all he wants is for someone to truly make him secure in knowing they like him.
What you can do is tell the truth with tact. Next time he texts say "Please stop texting me I have to pay to read them. Let's talk at lunch tomorrow."
Meet him for lunch and find a quiet spot where you can talk alone. Explain to him you used to want to be with him and probably still would but that his constant mentioning insecurities, texting, calling too much drives you and other girls away from him.
Tell him you enjoy the jokes, laughing, and normal friendship stuff but that he has to curb the other behavior for once and for all or girls won't be interested.
Tell him the only way you want to be a friend is if he does this and or romantic partner or you're done and be firm and stay firm on this.
Perhaps what you could do is offer to teach him how to get on with people and women and what not to do in certain situations so that he could finally learn this and do well with future partners.
I think you should get him to do that as deep down you really did like him. Perhaps if he changed for good you would still be interested. I think he really likes you but can't handle the actual relationship if he's in one as he has no social skills. I think he may be a good partner for you provided you can train him how not to piss you off.
If he can't change or is unwilling to try with you than tell him "One day you will meet the right girl but I'm not the one for you. Please move on from me as I'm not interested. Don't text or call please anymore. I think you are a great guy but friendship isn't a wise idea.
"You must learn so you are successful with other women never to bring up past insecurities, be constantly in one's face and overdoing things there and online and texting. It makes you look like a nuisance when it's not your intent. Girls hate it."
That's what he needs to learn but do you want to help him learn this as a sign of compassion? That's what you need to ask yourself next.
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I'm newly dating someone who had previous complication in his x marriage. He has a daughter and he always shows me that he cannot show any feelings due to his previous depression. The story happens from longtime with him and after he met also a girl and he fails in his relationship. I'm trying to understand him and not being pushy since he always says that he needs time to express feelings and get in love. How should I deal with him to help him and help our relationship?
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The truth here is that he's always going to need time to express feelings because he can't do nor fall in love. It's a part of his depression and fears that he never really dealt with.
It can be resolved but he needs a different psychiatrist and new plan and treatment and possibly anti-depressants and therapy to address this inability rather than let it push him around and destroy relationships. He must get help explicitly for this.
You need to convince him to do so as you LOVE him and his child but want him to be able to experience love and express feelings he has easier. Explain to him that changing doctors, medication and getting therapy to aggressively deal with love and feelings will forever free him of a great burden.
Tell him you aren't going anywhere and want to do all you can to help him express love and those feelings as he's 100% worth it and the right partner for you. Build his confidence up and tell him that you weren't saying this to be pushy or negative but rather to help him move forward from it and enjoy his relationship with you.
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I need an at home way to make money. I am in my early 20s, have lived in rental housing for the last year and a half and am trying to survive on my own. Here's my problems: I recently spent my money on college, I am sick almost every month due to a health condition I have, my parents pay my rent for now since I haven't been able to work, I tried applying for jobs an hour away since the place i'm in hasn't allowed me any job opportunities that suit me, I just rolled my car so I have no transportation to get to the jobs I just applied for and i'm starting to get stressed out because it's winter and I am down to my last dollars. Fact is: I hate relying on family to pay for my housing and food. I mean, things were looking up and now I feel back in the money hole. So how can I make money on my own/from home? I've thought about starting my own business but how would I go about that? I would need my parents help to ship/sell things because I cannot myself and I already feel bad enough asking for any more help from them. I can sew, bake and design if that helps. Oh and I don't have a credit card and have tried online surveys :l
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I know you hate relying on your parents and no longer want to. I get that and wanting to be self-sufficient. However, you have to look at the big picture here.
You have a physical condition that isn't always going to restrict you in the manner it is with energy but is now. You should see a different doctor perhaps a specialist to see if there are better treatments that would allow you to work and do all that you want to accomplish and function properly without running you out of energy.
Different medications and levels give you better energy levels and chance for success. Right now you have to admit things are shitty and having no car, no money is no longer an option for you.
I hate to say it but moving back home with your parents on the understanding that it's until you get better is your only suitable option. Pay them what you can, do chores etc, and help them in return but do move back. That way they can stop paying your rent and you won't beat yourself up over that anymore.
As far as school goes you will have to look into three possible options. The first is getting a doctor to provide documentation of your illness and trying to arrange a way for you to exit college temporarily for illness and return to complete your degree later. Or if you can handle classes get a bus pass or arrange a ride if possible to campus.
As far as a job goes forget about what you cannot reach by car right now or reach easily by a bus. That's out. However, if there is a mall near by try applying for jobs at stores you would be qualified to work in.
You may scoff at this at first but one of the absolute best places you could work at right now is a movie theater be it on floor duty or concession. They're keen on hiring people your age and due to school a lot of kids come and go.
They also like to hire those with disabilities and illnesses and give them a shot. It's minimum wage but a couple shifts a week will give you more cash that you have now. Don't hand a resume to just anyone. Ask them to get a manager for you. Explain you want to work badly and are recovering from a car wreck and an illness and would be grateful if there was anything he/she could hire you for. Most likely they will.
If you have an idea for a business you should run it by your family and figure out what you can do to get it off the ground as a way of employment.
I'm Canadian where our health-care is free and a lot different than yours. In our country we have funding for people with chronic illness and or disability so they can function and live. We abandon nobody in that area.
In the U.S. it may be different but I would look into an kind of social assistance or finances they can give you if you cannot work due to illness or chronic injury as that may help you survive.
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Once school is let out everyday, I walk out the front door and hop onto my bus where I sit in my usual front-of-the-bus seat everyday and listen to music while everybody else is up out of their seats and yelling and cussing, while I'm always silent for an hour and a half. How do I survive another half year of this? I'm a middle schooler, and the highschoolers also get on the same buses as us, and so we usually are loud (not me) and ... yeah. Should I tell my parents to pick me up after school? Same in the mornings? BTW, I don't really like anybody on the bus even if I know them, but it's just I don't know, wierd. (link)
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I hated school bus rides but more for the bullying than anything else that takes place and isn't always seen by driver. Prime place for it unfortunately.
Listening to music is just one of your options. If you have a smart phone (and what kid doesn't?) you can download a lot of apps that could really help your memory and mental sharpness.
You can sign up for Words With Friends through your Facebook account. This game is the one Alec Baldwin nearly got kicked off a plane for refusal to turn off it's addictive. You can also download it as an app.
Essentially it's scrabble and you can play against other friends on the bus with the same application or random opponents from around the world and really improve your memory, reflexes, spelling etc. and have it be fun.
I also like Fruit Ninja. I'm not sure if you can get it on your phone as I play on a tablet. It's all about speed and reflex trying to slice fruit tossed at you with a sword and not strike a bomb that keeps randomly popping up.
Depending upon whether or not you have Internet on your phone you could read newspapers, magazines, or whatever sites you wanted.
Books on CD that you can load into your IPOD are also great as you can get any author you like, any subject and have it read for you. You can use it for fun or to study history or other topics you find interesting.
It may not be suitable for mom & dad to pick you up because the school is 90 minutes away. Due to work and commitments as well as distance you probably have to take the bus.
However, if you feel strongly that this particular bus is bad for you, are being bullied or just can't take what's happening on board there is a remote chance you can change bus numbers and get a new bunch of kids and driver.
It would probably only come about for you if you mentioned you wanted in with people your age and that the high school kids bother you.
See also if there is an option where you could take a route with about 6 other kids in a minivan setting as schools do have that. And no they aren't disabled kids nor those with issues. That's a stereotype.
The thing may come down to you having to try and focus for 90 minutes on your music and activity and zone out to distractions and try to make it through by tolerating some of the behavior (not bullying) just to get home but yes it's not easy.
Talk to your parents and explain how uncomfortable you are because of the high school kids, the noise, their behavior and foul mouths and that it's anything but peaceful for 90 minutes and see if they can sway an administrator to keep you on a school bus but a different bus and driver or minivan as you don't feel secure physically or otherwise on the bus.
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I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for eight years now. He has always hung out with people who are not good for him, but to my knowledge he had never really done anything bad. Last year he showed up at my parents' house high on xanax and then did it again this year. Those are the only two times that I know of he has done it for sure but I have suspected that he has been doing it more. I just can't trust him anymore but I love him more than anything and I don't know what to do. His whole family had been addicted to drugs at some point which scares the hell out of me. Should I stay with him and learn to trust him, or is he probably still doing drugs? (link)
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I can't tell you if he is still doing drugs or not but high chance he is. You will know by his behavior. If his whole family are into it than that's not a good sign at all.
I can't believe you are still with him to be brutally honest with you. Anyone who showed up tanked or stoned to meet my folks once let alone twice would have nothing to do with my life anymore.
I KNOW there is 8 years of history and love here but the reality is you have to break it off for safety and health. Sometimes when you really love someone you have to firm and back away romantically as this addiction is an endless cycle and so is recreational use.
You need to tell him that you love him with all your heart but that his using drugs be it sporadically or an addiction is something neither you nor your parents will tolerate anymore and that it's an issue if the whole family is on drugs.
Tell him he has a chance to turn his life around and no longer fall into the traps his family did. Insist he see a doctor and get professional help for it and to handle what his family has done. Tell him he has to turn his life around or you will not be in it any longer and hold FIRM to this and do not waiver. You may be saving him from himself if not saving his life. You can't trust him.
Sometimes if you really love someone and they are in trouble and it's affecting you adversely one must break away and let them figure things out or not. Once they do and show consistently they have their shit together than maybe let them back as a friend but not as a lover. You need to exercise tough love to make him see he has to fix certain things.
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My boyfriend took me to a mall that is about twenty miles from his house. We met up at his school and from there we went. Initially I was going to take the bus and go by mission but he offered to come, so I said okay. I promised to pay for gas since the mall is far. we get there and I buy food cuz he was hungry. Then I continue on with shopping afterwards. On our way back he asks if I want to take the bus home. I said obviously not but youre asking because you want me to. Then he says no, I was going to take you home. he finally takes me to my bus. I try to give him the gas and he won't take it. before we left the mall he put on his mileage counter. It hurt me to see that's I live about twenty five miles away or so and he is always complaining about his mileage. His car is an Audi. for some reason I feel like he is more concerned about his car mileage than me. I don't know if im wrong or am being selfish but what do you guys think. I also take the bus to his house and then he drops me at the bus. There are times when he will take me home but I always feel bad because I can tell he's thinking about gas. (link)
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His mileage and gasoline problems is his problem solely and not yours. I cannot believe the audacity he has to be so selfish and offensive. He's in the wrong and you had better call him on it.
Obviously the trip was a date and all subsequent car rides to and from places were dates or part of being together. Do you ask your date or girlfriend/boyfriend for gas money or imply it?
Hitting his mileage button is him being a selfish SOB and so is him taking you only half way home. He needs to know this or he's going to keep at this.
I had a friend like this. He knew full well I could not drive and that he had to drive home. He'd repeatedly ask for gas money before the moment I got in the car despite the fact I often gave him free tickets to shows and invites.
Finally I told him that I had far less money than he did and that no more money was coming and if he was concerned about gas he had a choice be included or stay home and save money.
He should not have been asking because he and his family were quite rich. Like my friend your boyfriend is being cheap and has no business doing what he's doing. Tell him off. If he leaves you than he's an idiot plain and simple. Don't put up with B.S.
It doesn't matter if it's 1 mile or 20 from his place he's responsible for his car and his gas. You offering to help is one thing but him asking or implying it is beyond rude.
And yes, this is a sign of things to come as it's not the only area he's self-centered in believe me. He hasn't been showing he cares about you here at all. You may love him but I only see you being unhappy with him and his personality long term. While I would never say to anyone "kick him to the curb" it is an option to consider among other more positive choices if he continues to be juvenile.
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So today there was this girl that i like and was in a bad mood, but i tried to make her feel better, but i dont think anything happened, so my question is: if a girl is sad, angry, crying or something like that, what do you tell her and how do you tell her like this she feels much better? (link)
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Ask her what is wrong and tell her you are willing to listen and offer support if she needs it. Do more listening than talking though. She may feel like sharing or may not with you depending on what she's grappling with that day. Either way she will appreciate your concern.
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this hurts to say so bare with me im not going to use puncuations
my wife let me know one night about 5 months ago that our 6 year old son is the product of an affair she was smoking drugs with our neighbor while i was at work we have 3 children total including our little boy i am the only father he knows hes my little trooper he loves me so much i just cant bare to think about him finding out it will crush him
well since she told me our marriage has been rocky and i have been upset and have a bad taste in my mouth it has only been 5 months since she told me we get in fights and she says that im living in the past and wont let it go
so we took a temporary break from each other
now im sitting here with all three kids in our home and she is staying with one of her crazy friends just yesturday she was arrested for possesion of marijuana and there was a guy arrested with her i got ahold of his wife and let her know to tell her husband that i will be looking for him when he gets out well when he got out he called me first and was so scarred of me begging me not to hurt him for making out with my wife i had no idea about the making out i bailed her out and shouldnt have and as soon as we got home she was off again and hasnt been back since yes i have been an asshole im hurt
im wondering should i just leave her and move on
i love my son and am positive she will tell him
i have been home with them alone for a month now
she left us i have supported her for 13 years and im love with her very much but im sure she will continue to hurt us the thing is i grew up in a foster home with my 2 little sisters so i know whats its like to be parentless and i refuse to let them know i am insecure and fucked up to this day because of that
i think thats why i put up with her cheating is because i have been alone so much in my life i am desperate for love
i forgot to mention there are 6 times where i know of that she has cheated on me
there is no rationing with her she goes into deffensive mode anytime i want to talk about its not a happy nor a safe place here anymore
i have made a successful life for us we have a paid off nice big house nice cars and etc i dont know what else i can offer
she says its my fault cause i wasnt there
well i was at work
we had an agreement i make the money she makes the honey
anyone ever deal with something like this
being that i grew up in a foster home i have no parents to talk about this to
so please general public without bias what would you do (link)
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I would hire a lawyer and leave her. If she is heavily into drugs, cheated on you six times, and not parenting properly you have a case. A lawyer can tell you what your rights are with the 3 kids you know are yours for custody.
They can also order a DNA test on your son to confirm if he's yours. I'm pretty sure if a judge saw that she's messed up and clearly cannot parent on your own that you having custody is a better option. This isn't a healthy situation for anyone.
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Hi :). I'm 13 and female. I love to act and sing; It's my passion. I realized I want to get into acting NOW, but... I'm not sure what to do first. I realize many kids want to act to just be on TV and want money, but I love to act. And those kids like to just jump in to acting and I know this will be a process and everything.
I'm just wondering... What should I do now? How do I start getting into acting? For some reason, I'd like to act in movies and TV shows and stuff. I love to act. (link)
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You should find out if there are any community theater groups in your area and preferably one that is for youth and does plays featuring kids and teens in all the roles. That's a perfect place to start.
No matter how small or large your community is there is bound to be improvisation classes for teens and adults you can join that will sharpen your skills, help you meet different types of people, and be enjoyable on the whole.
It helps to be in a major city for this but not essential as studios film movies and TV shows just about anywhere now. What you should do is get what they call a Background Talent Agent in a major Canadian or U.S. city that be driven to easily.
You would pay this agent a one time fee around $100 to join. NOTE this is the only agent besides a kids talent agency that can charge you anything legally EVER. Never ever pay anyone else and run for the hills as that's a classic cheat.
The background talent agent will put you into crowd scenes in major TV and movies filming in the city. This way you get to be on set and see the process and learn if it's for you or not.
You are lucky that you are 13-years-old. You can still get an agent that specializes in kids/teens only. In order to get an agent for kids/teens be sure to visit ACTRA in Canada or SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) sites for a list of highly regarded agents.
Be sure to consult that list and only that list as any agency in your area that isn't listed on it is one NEVER to deal with as they aren't on the list for a damn good reason or for unethical practices.
Getting what they call a principal agent is difficult. These agents expect you to have extensive theater (doesn't have to be pro) and training before they take a risk and sign you to a relatively small roster. Hopefully this info helps you. You seem to have your heart and head in the right place about this.
Also note the following scams. When it comes to modelling you also need to consult the lists I told you about. You should run screaming from any agency making you work with their exclusive people or demanding money for a portfolio. You don't need one. Simple snapshots for them or an agent for acting is all you need starting out.
Another scam is so-called agencies that want to charge you a big fee to put your photo on the Internet for casting directors to see. This is a load of garbage. Casting directors be it for modelling, acting, print ads, commercials NEVER use websites to cast anyone. They use reputable agents who submit your photo and resume if you have one directly to them through proper channels never charging you a nickel.
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I am 11 and still sleep with my mom
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You never mentioned why you are sleeping with your mom. Is it space issues or something different? All I can say is that at 11-years-old with changing bodies and age that you need privacy for one thing, your own bed for another and not to sleep with her any longer. It was fine when little but certainly not right now. Talk to her about it and move to your own bed as it's not right.
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i had sex the very first time, he pulled out before cumming, but we didnt use condom. it was 14th, n my period date is 18, but its 21 and it is still not happening??? are dere chances of getting pregnant (link)
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Unless you are on birth control the answer is highly likely. The pull-out method really is not a method at all. You see precum itself contains sperm and more than enough to get you pregnant without protection.
Before getting extremely worried you should get a pregnancy test (more than one) and find out for sure as you may just be late hopefully. If pregnant deal with it then rather than get really worked up on a "what if" than a confirmed positive test result.
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Okay, so my past relationships involved a lot of sex. It became regular (especially my last two). We had trouble being together without contemplating how and where we can bang...
Now here's my issue: my current boyfriend apparently isn't big on sex with me (actually he probably just isn't ready or something like that which means I need to be patient and wait, instead of letting it bruise my ego..)
But you see, I'm so used to sex it became sort of an addiction. Especially if he and I are making out and he'd do something that turns me on; I basically react automatically (kiss him deeper, kiss his neck, etc) and it's like he avoids it. Tries to make a joke, or something to break the mood some how (i.e. I kissed him deeper, and he replied by pushing his lips against mine and laughed saying "I can push too").
I'll be honest, it makes me feel rejected... Like he doesn't want me like that. Logically, there is probably some other factors. (i.e. I'm his second, i think, we attempted before and he got "whiskey dick" minus the whiskey, etc.) But I'm so used to things being like if I kiss them deeper, or I kiss their neck, or try to be sexy or something they respond by kissing back/kissing my neck/etc.
He kisses me, holds me, etc. And I know he likes me, I'm not questioning that. Nor do I want to pressure him or anything.
What I need advice on is dealing with myself not my boyfriend. Like today we were giving back massages, he touched my neck/back just right where I got turned on. Then when I gave him one in return, I was doing my best not to be sexual (because I know he was as sore as I was).
I need help controlling myself, and containing my urges (also to not let my anxieties/paranoia over whelm me and make me feel rejected and self conscious when he does stuff like that). I love that he's able to hold me, kiss me intimately, etc without sex to be involved... BUT sometimes I want more than sex. And when I feel like that I just end up embarrassing myself. What should I do when I want sex, since he apparently doesn't... ?? How the hell do I contain my hormones?? (link)
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I think the problem is that his first experience with intercourse was so negative that it has him either embarrassed or scared. He knows you love sex and perhaps he feels he can't please you or has some other weird hangup.
Tell him that he really turns you on and that you love him and want him to feel comfortable. Be very patient and show/tell him what to do and no need to feel embarrassed if the whole thing is new.
Also ask him to be honest and tel you if there is any fears rational or not he has about intercourse and if there are significant ones perhaps suggesting a therapist.
As far as the inability to keep an erection it could be nerves, fears, embarrassment over lack of experience etc. etc. However, if you are 18
+ novelty shops can help as they have a ring that can trap blood in his penis for intercourse. This is often used for elderly, anybody else who have medical issues, or just in general. It's common.
The thing is you have a really high sex drive and as much as he loves you his libido isn't as high as yours. If he's not into intercourse there is definitely other things you can do that are sexual including touch. Perhaps that may work and build up towards actual sex when he grows more confident through that.
Masturbation definitely will help you but I understand you want sex with your partner. It may be hard to talk to him and awkward about your desires but it's needed.
If you tell him that sex embarrasses you sometimes or about awkward experiences showing him it's okay and work with him to get his confidence up I'm sure things will go smoother.
Let him know that you won't judge his efforts and to just relax and have fun and if he makes what he thinks is a mistake to not worry about it or take it too seriously. If you can laugh about stuff and remain positive he'll warm up more to doing it regularly. It's a fear or confidence issue here.
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Im 15 & in high school. I really like this Guy. He's so cute, I've liked him for a long time now. Well I think he knows I like him but not sure. I want to tell him so I can get to know him better. Idk Im really scared about telling him & don't wanna make things awkward between us. I like how he always nice to me, funny, sweet, & shy. When I see him I get all excited .I asked all my friends & they say write him a note telling him how you feel & if he doesn't like you back tell him to give it to you. But my friends haven't had a good long relationship . I wanna know if he likes me. It hurts to see him & think what if. I'm tired of over thinking about him & if he like me. Ya if he doesn't like me its OK but it hurts me not knowing. Please help me (link)
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Rather than tell him outright and risk rejection do something a little different that doesn't leave you too vulnerable. That something different is inviting him to a party, movie with friends, bowling or anything with a group.
If he likes you he will most certainly go. If he doesn't and turns your offer to "hang-out" with your friends than you'll know he isn't interested. You risk nothing from rejection to even teasing if he doesn't like you back.
It's safer that way to snag the person you want without really putting yourself and your heart on the line. If you want him you have to make a move and this one is safest.
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Ok so 13 f and i reccently started learnig the violin in september. I have a good instructor and he entered me in a competition that is on sunday. We have been working on my classical and pop song for the competitikns im entering and ive been trying to get them.really good but i keep on getting fruatrated and upset. I am playing a song called over the ocean for classical and payphone by maroon 5 for my pop entry. I am competing against 5 other people and they are all younger than me. My teacher said i have a pretty good chance if i keep up my work but im so nervous. It will be the first time fat amy and i compete toggether (yeah i named my violin fat amy).. And so i just need some advice to help stay calm but keep working hard. I play 9 different instruments including my voice and ive been in several competitions but im very nervous about this one. Help! (link)
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It's okay to be nervous about competing at something new. You have to remember a few things. 1) Your coach would NEVER put you in a situation he/she didn't think you would be able to handle. They also wouldn't risk their reputation if they didn't think you would do well. If he/she believes in you than that's the biggest confidence boost you can get.
2) Don't second guess your ability. You know these songs in your sleep by now and can ace it. Picture yourself playing flawlessly in your mind and the proper things to do in your mind as you perform and block anything else out. Perform as though it were for yourself only and nobody else was there and show why you love playing.
3) Realize that your competition is as scared as you are and don't necessarily have the same kind of instructor or experience being younger than you. Block them out of your head the moment you start to play.
4) Think of yourself as a famous musician who they all want to hear and then picture in your mind the exact finger positions etc. etc. and things you need to deliver as yours already.
5) Above all if you go in trying to have fun and just relax and do that the performance will create its self and you will be fine on stage.
6) Ask your coach for last minute tips and tell him/her that you're a bit rattled but know your pieces. They may have a lot of pointers to make you relax.
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