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Boyfriend did drugs and I can't trust him!
I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for eight years now. He has always hung out with people who are not good for him, but to my knowledge he had never really done anything bad. Last year he showed up at my parents' house high on xanax and then did it again this year. Those are the only two times that I know of he has done it for sure but I have suspected that he has been doing it more. I just can't trust him anymore but I love him more than anything and I don't know what to do. His whole family had been addicted to drugs at some point which scares the hell out of me. Should I stay with him and learn to trust him, or is he probably still doing drugs?
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That's a tough one you could have the talk with him give him a chance to be honest you if he is still doing it you should tell him you are going to give him a second chance but he has to make a choice either he quits that or you will end it that's a way to see if he really loves you. If you get the feeling that he isn't really telling you the truth you can find out have your friends keep an eye on him for you so they can tell you if they catch him in the act.If they do then you know that you need to find someone else. I hope that I helped some good luck.
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Talk to him. Ask him if he's still doing drugs. There's a chance that he might not tell you the truth but talk to him anyway. Open up to him. Tell him how you feel about him taking drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Tell him that you love him and care about him and that you want him to stop taking drugs. He can join the rehab center for people with addiction to drugs, they can help him turn his life around. If he really cares about you he will do it. He will stop this addiction. But if he doesn't want to stop, you always have a choice to just accept the fact that he's never going to change or you walk away. Leave him. It's hard to walk away from someone you love and care about but if he doesn't want to change and this situation is putting you under a lot of emotional stress and pain, you should just give up on him and move on. Start thinking about yourself. Putting up with your boyfriend's addiction for eight years is amazing. You must love him so much. Try helping him first to get out of his dreadful addiction before giving up on him. I'm sure that besides his addiction, your boyfriend is a good guy. You wouldn't have stayed with him for eight years if he was a bad person.
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Well, if he's taking drugs you really can't trust that he isn't, now can you? You have pretty much two choices: Accept him as he is, or walk away and find someone who doesn't do drugs.
You can't expect him to stop using drugs by demanding him to do so. It just doesn't work that way. He has to WANT and CHOOSE to quit all on his own.
It just comes down to what you are willing to accept and what you aren't. I'm not telling you to leave him, but I am telling you that you certainly have a lot to think about, especially if you are considering having kids with this guy.
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If your boyfriend cannot break the habit over the course if 8 years then you should begin to realize you may be wasting your time.
Like the advicer said below, there pribably is a high chance he is on drugs. If someone has not helped themselves in 8 years... I would of moved on by now. Sounds like a deadbeat
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I can't tell you if he is still doing drugs or not but high chance he is. You will know by his behavior. If his whole family are into it than that's not a good sign at all.
I can't believe you are still with him to be brutally honest with you. Anyone who showed up tanked or stoned to meet my folks once let alone twice would have nothing to do with my life anymore.
I KNOW there is 8 years of history and love here but the reality is you have to break it off for safety and health. Sometimes when you really love someone you have to firm and back away romantically as this addiction is an endless cycle and so is recreational use.
You need to tell him that you love him with all your heart but that his using drugs be it sporadically or an addiction is something neither you nor your parents will tolerate anymore and that it's an issue if the whole family is on drugs.
Tell him he has a chance to turn his life around and no longer fall into the traps his family did. Insist he see a doctor and get professional help for it and to handle what his family has done. Tell him he has to turn his life around or you will not be in it any longer and hold FIRM to this and do not waiver. You may be saving him from himself if not saving his life. You can't trust him.
Sometimes if you really love someone and they are in trouble and it's affecting you adversely one must break away and let them figure things out or not. Once they do and show consistently they have their shit together than maybe let them back as a friend but not as a lover. You need to exercise tough love to make him see he has to fix certain things.
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