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Am I being selfish?
My boyfriend took me to a mall that is about twenty miles from his house. We met up at his school and from there we went. Initially I was going to take the bus and go by mission but he offered to come, so I said okay. I promised to pay for gas since the mall is far. we get there and I buy food cuz he was hungry. Then I continue on with shopping afterwards. On our way back he asks if I want to take the bus home. I said obviously not but youre asking because you want me to. Then he says no, I was going to take you home. he finally takes me to my bus. I try to give him the gas and he won't take it. before we left the mall he put on his mileage counter. It hurt me to see that's I live about twenty five miles away or so and he is always complaining about his mileage. His car is an Audi. for some reason I feel like he is more concerned about his car mileage than me. I don't know if im wrong or am being selfish but what do you guys think. I also take the bus to his house and then he drops me at the bus. There are times when he will take me home but I always feel bad because I can tell he's thinking about gas.
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Wait...
You bought him food and offered him gas money, and you feel selfish?
Next time he puts on his mileage counter, just blow it off as either him having some other reason for doing it, or him doing it because he's being an ass. Either way, you're not selfish.
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If your boyfriend is offering a drive, he should offer it freely.
If you offer him money for gas, he should take it, or refuse it, gratefully and respectfully.
You maybe have a bit of selfishness going on here if you are putting pressure for him to spend more time with you than his finances will really allow, but your boyfriend is the one who is turning this into an issue it doesn't need to be, by refusing to stand up for his limits and/or accepting or suggesting other solutions in an upfront and clear manner.
Offering a favor, like driving, and then having a resentful attitude, is very, very rude and very wrong of him.
I do think you need to call your boyfriend on his extremely rude behavoir. He needs to be clear and honest about when he is willing to drive, and when he isn't. He needs to either flat out tell you he wont take money for gas, or he needs to accept it graciously when it is offered.
What he is doing right now is a power game designed to keep you confused and on your toes. He's playing the victim, rather than being your partner and being honest with you.
Tell him he needs to step up and talk about these things clearly and honestly with you. It's okay to feel money pressure and worry about expenses - it's not okay to use those negative feelings as a excuse to behave badly towards your girlfriend, or even other friends.
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His mileage and gasoline problems is his problem solely and not yours. I cannot believe the audacity he has to be so selfish and offensive. He's in the wrong and you had better call him on it.
Obviously the trip was a date and all subsequent car rides to and from places were dates or part of being together. Do you ask your date or girlfriend/boyfriend for gas money or imply it?
Hitting his mileage button is him being a selfish SOB and so is him taking you only half way home. He needs to know this or he's going to keep at this.
I had a friend like this. He knew full well I could not drive and that he had to drive home. He'd repeatedly ask for gas money before the moment I got in the car despite the fact I often gave him free tickets to shows and invites.
Finally I told him that I had far less money than he did and that no more money was coming and if he was concerned about gas he had a choice be included or stay home and save money.
He should not have been asking because he and his family were quite rich. Like my friend your boyfriend is being cheap and has no business doing what he's doing. Tell him off. If he leaves you than he's an idiot plain and simple. Don't put up with B.S.
It doesn't matter if it's 1 mile or 20 from his place he's responsible for his car and his gas. You offering to help is one thing but him asking or implying it is beyond rude.
And yes, this is a sign of things to come as it's not the only area he's self-centered in believe me. He hasn't been showing he cares about you here at all. You may love him but I only see you being unhappy with him and his personality long term. While I would never say to anyone "kick him to the curb" it is an option to consider among other more positive choices if he continues to be juvenile.
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