about

Hi my name is Lee Ann. I am 29 years old and Graduated from Bethany college obtaining a bachelors of music. I am a happily married woman with two kids, ages3 and 2. I currently have six books out on the market, all of which can be found on amazon. The first is called The Leaf: One fallen heart and a burning desire, my second is called Avengement of Glory, my third is called Spiral of Enlightenment, fourth one is called Prodigy of the Immortal, fifth one is called Augment in the Realm of Darkness, and my sixth novel is called Bond in the Spiritual Heart. I started this advice column to see if I could give good advice. Turns out I am pretty good, better than I thought actually. I enjoy seeing people smile when I give them good advice and they use it. It makes me feel better as a person to help people. I want to make the world a better place and I think that starting an advice column is the right way to begin. Writing is a huge part of my life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function properly. After seven years, I think I have done pretty well as an advice columnist.

advice

One of my cats has started peeing in my room. Anytime time else he uses the litter box. He only does it in my room. Does anyone have any idea as to why he started to do this or how I can get him to stop? I have 2 other cats and he is our newest one, but we have had him since March. He just started this. Thanks for your help!

When your cat gets to a certain age they need to be fixed. If not they put their scent everwhere to attract females. Also if it a mutiple cat little box if it not kept clean they wont go in it so they pee somewhere that is clean. I have a cat that did that all the time but when he got fixed he stop doing it.

[view]

13/F! I've only had one boyfriend whom I went out with for 5 minites and he went to my school and he was like 2 years younger then me. He was my first boyfriend but I dumped him I don't know why I think it was because of the age difference and stuff. Well anyway I don't really think I'm pretty. I really like this kid Brian he's so hott and stuff; but I don't think I'm pretty enough to go out with him I'm afraid to ask him because I don't want to be rejected. I hate this I see him every day at school and we used to talk but my so called friend ruined that cause she told him I stalked him but I didn't. I'm like in love with him he's so hott but I can't ask him out there's no way I could. Like I really want to go out with him and stuff. Got Any Advice?!?

I think you should go for. If you think your pretty that is all that matters. If you guys talked before there must be some attraction. You could write him a note if your sy or have one of your friends ask him if he likes you. If he does then ask him if he wants to hang out with you and a bunch of friends. If you guys hang out in a crowd you can get to know one another and then maybe he will ask you out.

[view]

okay i have a problem =/ my friend who i am really close to asked me to homecoming the other day, and i said no. well all along i have really wanted to go with him but people at my school hate him because he dumped one of them like 2 years ago, and they are still upset with him. the thing is, i said no because i didnt want people to be mad at me since it is only the 2nd week of school. Did i do the right thing? He seems really upset and i really want to go so does anyone have any advice? xO

Look in matters like this it is not about what your friends think or want. This is about you and how you feel. If you have wanted to go with him then you shoudl. If you friends get mad over something like that then they are not really your friends. He is really close to you and you shouldnt let him get away. If he is upset its b/c he really liked you and felt that you felt the same way and when you told him no you broke his heart. If your friends didnt feel upset about him and didnt hate would you go with hime to the dance? If so then you should go with him b/c you want to. You cares what your friends think if they are your true friends then they will support you no matter what you do. You should call him.

[view]

ok well i kissed this guy the other day and its been great but its the holidays and weve been speaking for like an hour on the phone coz he was at the airport going home so when he was on the plane just before he left he txted me and it was great and he said that he missed me and then i said 'so are we exclusive?' and he asked what that meant and i said just what are we? and so he replied what do u want us to be and i said what does you want?am i just a rebound (as he split up from a long term relationship) and he said 'look ur sexy and cool etc and we could go on 1 date or two' and then straight afterwards he said 'or loads of dates' and so then i replied loads of dates sounds prefect! so he just said lots and lots of love my bunny. ok sorry this is long but what did all that mean that he does like me?or that he just wants a couple of dates and stuff...i like him soo much i might be inlove so i need to know!!! im so sorry but ill rate high!!!! thank you xxx

I think that he wants to go on tons of dates. It seems to me as he just wants what you want. When a guy says he loves you like that, that usually is the start of a relationgship. That definitely means that he like sand all he wnats is to be with you. I hope you guys are happy and have a fun time together.

[view]

i see People at school socializing and i notice most of people are always talking to me differently than others. I do have glasses and a hearing aid and I think people believe i am retarded. Is that what people think about me?
if it is, how can I tell people that i am not without being rude?

I dont think that they think you are retarded. You dont sound like ti at all. Sometimes people act and treat differently when they are either your best friend or jealous of you and what you have. Whether its looks, body figuare, or even personality. The people that are jealous of you always treat you like your an idiot. This girl was really making fun me and me playing flute. Later that year she finally admitted that i played the flute wonderfully and she was just jealus b/c she wanted to be as good as me.I think that if you ignore them they wont treat you that way. Keep your friends b/c they are the people that should only matter in a school well besides school. A way of showing that you are not retarded is to participantin class always do your best and that will sow them that you know what your talking about. You are a person who knows who you are and that is something they will never have.

[view]

Hey, i kind of like my best friends boyfriend,...but the thing is,...i hooked them up,...it's all to strange for me and i dont know what to do. he's nice, funny and cute and everything....i got myself into something big, i know and her mom is like real sick and she's gonna die soon which makes the drama so less appealing

I know what it is like to like your best friends b/f especially if you hook them up. The ting is my best friend like dmy brothers friend travis. I though well she liek shim and he likes her. I hooked them up and then i relized that i liked him to. I went out of my way to break them up so i could have him. I lost my best friend that i ever had b/c of it. I think that you should wait to see if things work out between them. If they dont and break up then its not your fault and you can have a chance but dont break them up even if you like him.

[view]

i dont know what to say or how to explain it really. im just simply, unhappy. i used to be happy, i dont know what happened. everything just feels so useless and people just suck. no one cares about anyone but themselves and i feel like im at a loss and i always find me second guessing myself. whats wrong with me? how can i be happy again?

I know what it is like to like you. For awhile when i transfered schools i was happy. Then when i got to high school i started doubting myself and what i could do. I started not talking to anyone and i didnt understand why i was so unhappy. When i am unhappy i usually make people unhappy to which is definitely not good. I dont thinkthere is anything wrong with you. I know that most people only care about themselves but this isnt about them its about you. I am not trying to sound ignornat or anything. Far from it. Sometimes when someone hurts us very badly there is something inside them that dies, and cause great pain and instead of dealing with it they think about themselves and wonder whats wrong with me. My dad was great for awhile especially after my parents got divorced but something happened. He just stop being around it wasnt like he left the family he still lives 15 min. away but he wouldnt come see me. I think i wasnt used to that and someting inside me died and my personality changed. I think you need to find something that makes you happy not for others but for yourself. Get involved in band or learn something you never learned before. Trust me something that you learn to do and your good at it makes you feel really good about yourself. You sound like a really cool person who doesnt deserve to go what your going through.

[view]


ok well my boyfriend and me have been going out for awhile now. and he had this really good friend that he always hangs out with. well i recently went on vacation for a week and he hung out with his bestfriend all week and weekend while i was gone. so this was my first weekend home and i went to our highschool football game and his friend is not allowed in them she he went to the movies and my boyfriend isnt gonna be home all weeekend so i wont get to see him.

i dont want to break there friendship up i just want my boyfriend to do things with me and not jsut come to my house.

what should i do?

The best thing is to do is to talk to him. Write him a note, email, phone, or just talk to him in person. You will feel much better if you talk to him. Tell its not you friend that is bugging you its the fact that you guys cant spend any time together. I think the problem maybe he is to busy but if you ask him to go out ahead of time he will have days open. Then you can spend more time with him. If you dont say something to him the problem is just going to sit there and nothing will really change. But if you talk to him you will be getting alot off your chest.

[view]

someone PLEASE freaking help me! im so frustrated. i have an electric guitar (all i know is that it plays music..other than that im an idiot) and when i went to look up tabs it told me the basic E B G D A E. and then when i go to look at tabs theres like C and i just dont understand!! i want to cry, someone please give a site for dummies or tell me youll help me or something.

Ok when it comes to electric guitar there are different letters. I will explain. E,B,G,D,A,E are the basic letters that you play, the ones that are like the original. When you see C that means the song is in a different auctive. Its called drop D and C. When you look at the music and you see C in a certain place. Look at that string and adjust the string until it says C. When turn them they are a different note each time you turn. Use your tuner and tune the string that is labeled C and tune it until you see that that the note is C. If you go to mxtabs.net then you can find music that has the notes in Drop C or just the regular that you are used to.

[view]

what can i do to make my room warmer because when the heat is on its still cold.. any ways? and no i cant put the heat on any longer

Alot of times if you use the stove heat travels in all parts of the room especially if you are cooking something that takes time. It also helps to put plastic on the windows that way if you have heat it will stay in the room. The plastic traps the coldness.

[view]

okay this is kind of embarassing, and it may seem like i`m worrying over nothing .. but i need help in figuring this out.

All my life i`ve been scared of being alone with guys for some reason.. and ive always had this HUGE fear of getting raped by guys and stuff...like i get petrified if i have to be alone in a car with a man i don't know.. and im also terrified of getting locked into rooms which is also kind of weird..

another thing, when i was ELEVEN years old, i had a girl doctor, and all she did was stick her hands up my shirt for a physical, and i mean it was no big deal, but i started BALLING MY EYES OUT, saying "you didnt ask me first!" and stuff, and i mean i could understand myself just getting a little pissed, but i was crying and everything, and i felt so violated and used, and i dont know why because it wasnt a big deal at all!

I`ve always questioned myself like if i was raped or touched in my past somehow.. but it never added up ,i mean my mom wouldnt ever do that, and my dad is AWESOME and he`s really protective so it wasnt him, and i have no siblings...so i just brushed it off...its so weird though like i have this weird obsessive feeling inside me that something happened to me as a kid, which is why i react to things the way i do now..

Well, recently my dad said to me "Did anything weird to you happend when you were at Montessory Pre-school ?" and i said "I dont remember, why?" and he said "Because a long time ago on the news when you were 4 we had to take you out of that school, they closed it because something weird was going on there..like someone was doing sexual things to the kids" and when he said that i just thought to myself "holy shit, i wonder if thats why im like this.. i wonder if that happened to me" but i just asked him "well what else happened" and he said "they dont really know, they just closed and the woman went out of town.. something weird was going on in there though, and they all of a sudden closed"


So.. I was just thinking to myself.. is there a possiblity that maybe i was one of the kids who got touched in weird ways? and even though i dont remember it..could it still be affecting my life now? like if something like that happens to you as a child.. can you conciously feel it sort-of even if you dont remember it?

please help me, i feel so confused.

Your right that if something happened in your childhood you would react the same way you would years later. I learned inpsychology that this guy in the book told the world that he could take any child and make them any profession. Well some lady didnt believe him so she let him experiment with him. He made the boy develop a fear of white rats. When he done with the experiment Little Albert was afraid of rats. And the fear was so intense that he became afraid of fuzzy things, white things, small things, and other stuff to just by this experiment. I had a bad experience with clowns when i was first born and now every time i see a clown i start to cry. I think that something did happen especially if you have this really bad feeling about it. Most peoples feelings about a certain issue are always correct. So if you were getting bad things done to you in this school but you dont remember but your unconcious does then it will trigger the moment you see something that reminds you of it. Like movies or even women touching you. Its just a theory.

[view]

13/m Long story short, I like her a lot, I told her, she doesn't like me back. Here's my current problem: I think she's ignoring me. Like at schoool everything's just too weird to talk to her. Awkward, let's say. So I've been trying to patch things up. I tried inviting her over one day. Saturday, she was babysitting. Sunday, she had rehearsal for a play. Same thing happens week after week after week. Just today I tried asking her to come over. Same story. No good. I really want to make things all better. I want to be able to just talk to her, which we haven't done in months except for on AIM. Our only 3 classes together, we're across the room, which sucks. So we don't even see each other much. We used to goof off a lot as friends. Like all the time. Things were cool. But now they're not.

Last night was a school dance. I had asked her a few days earlier. She said she had rehearsal. So I went with three of my friends to eat food and drink punch & soda. And guess who was there, that's right her. So those three guys were like pushing me to talk to her, bribing me, etc. Eventually, I talked to her. Apparently, she sent me an e-mail (I checked this morning, it didn't go through) saying that the rehearsal was cancelled. Then this girl started teasing me about my e-mail address (I made it up when I was 7) and the one I like hugged me.

It's not the first time. Third, actually. First time was last year in science. I told her I was feeling like crap. She hugged me. I got scared, never having hugged anyone outside of family before. So I rejected it. Second time, we were at a carnival. She had persuaded me to get on all the wild rides. Hardly anyone was there yet, so there was no line. After the fifth one, I started vomiting. "Oh my god, are you OK?" and hugged me. I stood there and just murmured that I was fine. Third time was last night at the dance. It's my best one yet---I stood there. Yes, that's right, I just stood there. Then I did the stupidest thing in the world---I cut it short for the $5 I had been bribed for.

I'm such an idiot. I've been waiting for another moment in which she would hug me, and here it is. What do I do? I run away to get $5. (In the end, all he gave me was a quarter...) But I couldn't help it. I literaly couldn't think! My mind was drawing a complete blank! The only thing going on in my head was in my subconcious, saying "Get out of here, fast!". My concious side was just scared and confused, and didn't know what to do. For those of you who have read Flowers for Algernon, it was exactly what Charlie was feeling. Whenever he got too close to Alice, his inner child would pull him back and prevent him from doing anything. I guess my inner child was still scared of commitment and everything. I want to hug her, considering it's the first of many steps to a successful relationship, but there are no opportunities in the halls at school, and as I said before, there's never a good time for her to come over. So I guess I'm just doomed to be a hopeless freak with subconcious fear of so much as a hug...

I guess my three big questions here are:
1) Is she ignoring me?
2) If so, how do I prevent it?
3) How can I hug her?

I know it sounds really pathetic. All I want is a hug. There's all these people here asking about banging and stuff, and here I am, eager to get a hug. But you have to realize that I've never had a relationship before, and I don't believe in dating unless there are true feelings. And if you believe that teenagers don't know love, I acknowledge that fact, and I'm not the same as every teenager on Advicenators. Besides, it's important to get a feel for what dating is like before we start the real thing, eh? And don't treat me like a little kid. I may be 13, but I'm not stupid. I'm just socially distressed. No smartass answers either, please. And if you give a response that doesn't have any advice in it, you are liable to be reported, as one of the rules in the Terms of Service is that you may not give unhelpful advice. I usually rate. Thank you a lot.

I know what it is like to be shy and freeze especially if you like the person alot. I dont think she is avoiding you at all. I think that if she is really going to rehearsal then she is going there. But i do think that she may feel the same way about you but she is afraid to tell you. Sometimes girls who are that age dont like to get to serious especially if its their best friend. I think she is afraid to be in that kind of relationship. Or another reason is if you dated and broke up you would lose your friendship. Maybe yur friendship is more important than anything. I am 18 and told guys that. I told them that i didnt feel like that about them. But really i did i was just to afraid to admit it. If you dont give up on her she will eventually come around. Its a matter of if you are going to wait for her. When someone who is like you wants a hug it kind of comes in the moment. If you wnat it to happen you have to be patient. I am not sounding ignorant. A suggestion would be why dont you write her a note and give it to her before class starts. Give her time to read and you should talk to her. The best person to talk about if she is avoiding you is her. I am sure that she is not avoiding. Maybe you should say sorry that you didnt let her hug you and you want to repay her so you hug her for it.

[view]

in study hall monday i am goign to tell the kid i like that i like him..how exactly should i do it?
in a note?
out loud?
what should i say either way?
i need details!
thanks. =).

The easiest way for you to do it is to write a note and give him time to read it and then talk to him in person about. That way you give him time to think and time for you to prepare. You shouldnt act like your nervous just act like yourself and you will be fine.

[view]

ok, one quick question. i have to type an essay and my teacher wants it to have spaces inbetwene each line. is there a spcial button that i cant find or do i just press enter on every line?
im computer literate so you dont have to have it THAT detailed. thatks
ANK

There is a place at the top like in the row where it says file. Check them all out until you find a word that says paragraph. If you click paragraph then you adjust to where it says double space and then you papare will automatically double space when you type.

[view]

13/f

at my school im not socially accepted and i dont no why this is my second year here and im not trying to be cocky but im really pretty, and im nice, but im not socially accepted for some reason. ps i go to a private school. But anyway my ex-best frieend goes to the same school i do and she thinks shes miss all taht or w.e and there are about 16/40 kids in my calss that i get along fine with its jsut the people who don't like me always hang out with those people i get along with. there is this one person who always picks on me saying that im annoying when to tell you the truth im really not. I have had a really hard life so far, and i don't want to see a therapist or anything, but today after school i was crying because im not socailly accepted and i really like the school and all, but some of the kids there are so mean to me. also does neone know some good combacks/stand up for yourself or nething
ps i would switch schools but i cant
ps there are only 2 other schools around me (one is a sorta druggie school, the other school i dont no)
ps what should i say to the person who keeps on saying omg your annoying get the hell out of here, etc

please help me i willl rate
please answer all my questions thats in my story and the ps ones

Well i know exactly what you are going through. I was friends with just about everyone but certain people wouldnt hang out with me b/c i hung out with crowd. You do not sound annoying to me. I know it is hard but people that act like that are jealous. I found that out. They treat you badly b/c they actually want what you have. The best thing is to ignore them and say "Is that the best you got". There is a good come back. I would suggest concentrating on someting other than your friends. You need to find something that you enjoy doing and that will help learn not to worry about your friends. And if they call you annoying again just say not as bad as you.

[view]

I want to have a really fun birthday party this year at my house. I have a pool table and a large backyard. I am turning 14 years old and my birthday is around december 15th. Depending on the weather, mostly all of the party has to be inside because of the cold. I am probably inviting around 30 people. What are some good ideas of what to do such as games, food, decorations and activities? Or if not at my house, where would be another great place to have a party for my age? Please help.

You could have a dj and have everyone dancing or something. Alot of people like to play truth or dare or even spin the bottle. The best idea would be to have a dance for your party.

[view]

okay guys this is a long one. my boyfriend broke up with me and i still have feelings for him. we used to be great friends and started dating. our class went on a trip to NYC and i heard that he cheated on me. some girls were going up to the guys room's in the hotel and yeah. he promised me that he didnt do anything but i didnt believe him because everything that went on was in the room he was staying in. i heard one of the girls that was in that room say that if he was there he would have had a great time. but i dont know if she was just sticking up for him because i was there or he really wasnt there. then the next day he seemed really distant from me and a week later he dumped me. i still really really like him even though he treated me like shit the whole time we were dating. will i ever get over him and should i keep trying to get back together with him?

-I rate 5's-

I definiately tink you can get over him. Find someting that will keep you ccupied so you dont think about him. You shouldnt try to get back with him b/c he will just do the same thing again and you dont want to be hurt again. If you just take it one day at a time i am sure you will find someone who would never do that to you.

[view]

what eyeshadow colors would look good on me? my skin is light tan. i have dark brown eyes. my hair is currently..black. people told me greens and purples but i dont know.. i like other colors >.

I think for your complexion you should use pink like a kind of dark pink. I also use white. Actually with your type of skin any color would look good if you have a light tan. If you use dark colors and makes your eyes and face stand out more which is a good thing.

[view]

ok so knowi found out that the 3 of my bf talk smack about me and call me names behing my bak. and i cant stand them because i tell 1 of my bf a secret and she tells the other one then the other one tell the other one a and everything starts going off wrong. now all of us hate each other except lets just say x and z but i dont know wut to do cuz they r my bf but like they r always talking a bunch of stuff bout me so shouldi be their frinds or just try to hang around with new ppl.?

If they were truly your friends they wouldnt do that. I suggest seeing other people b/c i bet the new friends wouldnt do that to you. Best friends keep your secrets and dont tell anybody. They also dont talk behind your back. They are not even worth being friends with. They wont do it if they know you dont care. If you dont care that bugs them. If find some new friends i am sure you will be much happier than you are now.

[view]

Ok, well, I got a role in an upcoming production of Oliver in Foxboro. Now there is this guy that I think is pretty cute. He is so nice and really funny, and I can't stop thinking about him. He acts like he is flirting with me and that he likes me, but how can I be sure if it's flirting or just common kindness. I mean come on, the guy sits on my lap for Pete's sake. we have so much in common, and I don't want to riuin anything by asking him out if then I realise that he dosen't fell the same. I described how he acts twards me to all my friends, and the y think that he is flirting. But I can not be sure. Do you think this is the real thing or is he just acting. And if it's real , should I tell him what I think?

One confused actress

I think you should tell hime. He sounds like heis flirting and wants to be with you. Maybe you should have one of your friends ask him if he likes you. Or you know you should ask him . I am sure that he feels the same way.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker