I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I recently went to my gynecologist for the annual Pap test and to receive treatment for a yeast infection (I had been itching the area quite a bit so some soreness as a result). I didn't realize until today that about one inch below the opening of my vagina (one one side),directly left of the bottom part of the vaginal opening, there is a lump underneath the skin. It's pretty small, about the size of a pea, and feels sore when pressed. I have had a cyst directly on the vulva a few years back, which drained on it's own. This may be the same kind of thing, but is deeper underneath the skin and slightly harder to the touch. I have been vaccinated against HPV, so doubtful that it's a wart (which would likely only be on the skin surface, and this is not).
Any reason to be worried, or does this sound like a harmless cyst? Any advice on what to do to help get rid of it? (link)
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We aren't doctors and cannot diagnose nor examine you. Only a doctor can tell you exactly what is going on here. What you have to do is call the same doctor and tell them you need to follow-up.
Tell the person who books the appointment that a weird cyst or lump has materialized immediately after the last examine and you are scared and want answers. They should take you right away. That's the only way to know medically what it is and what the cause and treatment is.
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So theres this really cute boy i have had a crush on for awhile and we are pretty good friends but i dont know how i should make a move. Something really awkward happened with him yesterday (it involved me having to ask him a question when he was naked) so it might get kinda weird for sometime. We are both 13. (link)
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I'm not sure how that happened but be sure not to mention the incident. He's likely as embarrassed by it as you are if not more so.
It's risky to ask someone "do you like me?" so the best way to find out is this. Ask him to join you and friends for bowling, a movie, a party or whatever group activity you can think of. If he's interested he will jump through hoops to re-arrange his life so he can go.
If he's not in to you he will make excuses not to intend. This way you can see how it goes and if it goes well ask him privately later if he wants to go on dates privately and see if something develops. If you do it this way you won't put your neck out too much.
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can i cut a zantac in half? (link)
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Don't trust an Internet site on this one. Be 100% sure that you can based on dose. It will differ on whether it's the prescription Ranitidine a.k.a. Zantac or what you get over the counter which usually caps out at 75mg. Prescription is 150+
If you need to know for sure dial your local drugstore tell them the dose and ask if you can cut this in half or not. Most likely you can but to be safe consult the people who know for sure what you can and can't do on the drug.
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Hi. So Im having trouble dealing with a difficult person.
Facts:
- we are under the same student organization
- he is the current vice president of the org
- everyone thinks he is irresponsible and somehow very unprofessional
- I am running for his position for the next term
- He is running for president
- Currently, I handled an event.
- He commented that I am not a responsible person. He said it to another person, not me.
So basically that's it. Im very angry at this person and I don't know what to do.
I dont know if I should confront him. If i confront him im afraid i might say something out of the line because i can be a really unstable person sometimes. I might even punch him in the face if i get too annoyed.
It's just so frustrating that he thinks he's right and I am wrong. WHen everyone thinks he's not.
How should I handle this?! (link)
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Let it slide off your back like water on a duck. If you ever want to be student council president you have to learn how to have a thick skin and what to let go and what not. This is just who he is--an asshole apparently for lack of a better term. Forget about him.
Let his attitude bury him and his chances next term and run solely on your own accomplishments. He will do himself in eventually. As far as punching him and confronting him goes DON'T. It brings you down to his level and why get suspended for it, possibly charged, and lose any chance of election in the end.
All your life you will be dealing with people like him. You just have to be who you are and mind your business and let the other person unravel and be seen as the wrong guy or irresponsible to lead. That's what a real leader does. Be level-headed here and keep your head no matter what antics he's up to. Be the better man or woman as the case may be.
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Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl. So there's this guy who is thinking about asking me to be his girlfriend and when I hang out with just him and nobody else I can be my complete self around him but on the other hand, when I'm with him and his friends I get shy and nervous ,I want to be considered 'one of the guys.' How can I be myself/comfortable around him and his friends? (link)
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If you want to be one of the "guys" stop caring about what they think. You cannot control it. Just talk to them as you would anyone else and give no thought to what they may think.
If they see you getting in there, talking, asking them about themselves pretty soon they will be friends. That's all you have to do go about being you and watch things fall into place.
There's no need at all to feel shy. Truth be told these people are eager to accept you and get to know you. It's a fact.
They might be shy themselves and wondering the same thing "Gee I hope she likes me" and could be just as nervous. The more you just be yourself and not think about it the better. Try hosting a small gathering to get to know each of them better.
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Hey im 15 and from Dublin.for the last year and a half i have been under incredible pressure to drink.because i refused at first i lost a lot of my social standing.my brother and sister started drinking at my age and are just fine.if i was to drink i would get drunk i want to drink socially.i would probably drink once/twice a month but very little.i have only found vague information about drinking effects online and im desperate to know what the consequences of light,social drinking will have on my brain.you have no idea the pressure im under at the moment.i dont want anyone telling me not to drink until im 17/18 because that is not going to happen.i just want to know some definate consequences to my brain.thank you (link)
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You know full well that for you drinking underage is NOT an option. Your gut tells you this. You have principal. Nobody has a right to pressure and push you to do anything. Those people AREN'T your friends.
Your real friends wouldn't do that so caring what they think of you really doesn't mean much when you think about it. I cannot as I'm not a biology expert tell you what it would do to your liver or brain except to say to excess would cause issues as would getting hooked on it.
Also if caught by cops at a rowdy party drinking you could face trouble there. What is to say if you caved to pressure here that you wouldn't with drugs, sex or something else.
A drink here and there for an adult whose body can handle alcohol is fine but for you it isn't and is breaking laws. So what if your siblings did it? They aren't you.
All you have to do here is tell them "Please stop pressuring me. I'm not interested in drinking. Respect my decision." If they don't than it says a lot against their character.
You could tell them you don't drink for a variety of reasons including how others in family had problems with booze or even say you have religious beliefs that are against it. Whatever the reason if they keep pressuring and don't respect your choices dump them.
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I have an iPod Touch 5g. Everytime I turn my volume all the way up, there's no sound. If i turn it all the way down, there's sound! It's kind of like the opposite of what I do. What's wrong with it?! Help! (link)
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There's two columnists on this site with a lot of knowledge about technology. Dangernerd and Theymos. I would hit their inbox up.
The other thing you can do if in a large city is to head to an APPLE store. Bring it with you and tell them the problem. They can run diagnostics on it and tell you how they can fix it and how much if it's broken or adjust it if it's simple.
Did you get the extended Apple Care warranty? I sure hope you did. That would have given you 24/7 support for it through Apple so they could tell you on the phone what to try to fix it on your own. Anytime you buy an Apple product buy it because you'll end up needing it more than once.
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18/f, been in a happy, secure relationship for over 2 years.
At first, giving oral was something I would do to my boyfriend to impress him and let him know that I can be sexy. after months (and years) went by, I stopped having the desire to show him that side of me through oral sex. I've come to despise it, actually. I hate the taste, I hate that it makes my mouth sore, and I just don't like the feeling it gives me - like I'm degrading myself.
My boyfriend for the most part respects this. On his birthday, I've (unfortunately) made it a tradition to give him head and let him finish right then and there. Since his birthday's coming up, he keeps talking about it and how excited he is. I couldn't be dreading it more.
thinking about it upsets me because all the other girls I know love to perform oral on their boyfriends. It makes me feel abnormal and that my boyfriend deserves someone who would enjoy it as much as he does. I hate feeling this way and I'm never at peace with myself for it.
so, I'm not weird right? (link)
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There are more than just one technique for this. While I can't get into that books, searches etc. may yield something that works better for you.
When it comes to pain, gag reflexes and it being unpleasant it may be because you are taking to much in at a time. There are several sensitive areas such as the glans to focus on solely. Ask him what is most sensitive and focus only on that. It may go better for you this way.
Also, if you don't like taste as you indicated try using a condom that doesn't have spermicide on it so you don't have to come in contact with bodily fluid from him. That may help you.
The other thing you need to address is any hangups you have about it and why you feel degraded by it. Once you do that you might feel differently about it and or not.
Either way level with him and let him know it's not personal but you want to do it sporadically and spontaneously and not each time out to keep it exciting. That way you don't give him the idea that you find it gross as that can offend him a great deal.
Another thing you could do is tell him to signal you to stop when he knows he's about to release fluids so you don't come in contact with them. Also, if concerned about smell make sure he showers before being intimate as that may erase that for you.
The other thing you can do is be honest with him. Tell him "I love pleasing you but don't take it personally if I need to stop while doing this. My jaw locks up sometimes and it hurts me." Whenever that happens you can stop and find another way to provide pleasure so he sees that you're interested in intimacy still but just not continuing that in that particular moment. I'm sure he will understand.
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He likes to receive oral, and I do it for him every other day because I care about him and want him to feel good. He knows that I love it, but only does it for me 1-2 times every two weeks. He says he doesn't mind it and that it has nothing to do with my hygiene which is immaculate. He always has an excuse, like that he is tired or he is just not in the mood. Yet, he is always up for him getting it or having sex. I feel like there is something he isn't telling me, but whenever I bring it up, he gets angry. What should I do? (link)
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Next time he asks for it or sex in general tell him "I don't feel like it right now" and see if he gets the hint that it goes both ways. You could also not perform this act with him and only do so sporadically to prove a point.
The best thing to do is say to him that you're being very generous (which you are) in making sure he enjoys the act on him EVERY time you are intimate but that you NEED this kind of thing in return each time or however often you feel rather than weeks without.
There's nothing wrong in telling him flat out it's what you enjoy and expect while being intimate and it's only fair that he return the favor more often.
I don't think it's your hygiene that could be the problem. I have a feeling it may be a total lack of confidence on his part. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do in that moment to please you. The other could be a bizarre psychological block or hangup he has about female anatomy.
You have to talk to him and tell him not to lie or any BS but to be fully honest about why he doesn't seem at all interested in doing this for you but expects it for himself every time and go over any fears or expectations on performance so he can become okay with the frequency you expect.
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so i really like this girl, and she has a boyfriend, im 13/m, and i masturbate. I dont masturbate thinking about other women, but im a small pervert. i dont want to masturbate, but i want to, a part of me says "yes" the other says "no".... what should i do? i really like this girl and i think shes the one made for me... please help! (link)
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This activity has nothing at all to do with how much you love someone or not. Guys in relationships married, dating, etc. do this and 90% of males do and 77% of females while actively involved with a partner. It's healthy, normal and not to worry about. Do it if you enjoy it and if not don't but do not
have guilt over it. In all honesty and reality she probably does it too regardless of interest in you. It also does NOT at all mean you are a pervert either for doing it even if you do think of this person, other girls etc. That's all normal and natural for both sexes actually. So, I would relax about it as it's so common.
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"i am from Tanzania" How can i convice my virgin girlfriend to have sex with me (link)
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You cannot convince nor make someone do anything especially with sex and a decision about one's virginity.
It's always 100% up to them to decide. What you could do is tell her(and you better mean it) that you love her and when she is ready and if and only if she wants to you are ready to engage in sexual activity and want to ensure she's totally comfortable with the idea and no pressure. Let her come to you and decide.
Patience here is key but realize she may decide she's not ready yet and you need to respect anything she may say.
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I am 13 year old girl.For about a month,I am feeling strange and broken.Whenever I look myself in the mirror,I felt that the girl inside the mirror needs my help and I felt that she isn't me.I can't understand myself.I am tired.I have strange dreams.I am tired,tired and just tired.I can't understand who am I and who I was.It's not me,it's someone else but who is she.I felt that she is soo innocent,I wanna help her but who is she.Is she me?If I am her,than who am I??
Help me!!
My Past..its a falling bridge (link)
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ADDITIONAL AND IMPORTANT:
You are wrong. If your parents don't appear to have time nor do other adults get their attention and don't stop until they sit up and take notice. Tell your teachers, any and all adults and
People you trust that you need help and aren't stable or getting it. They will act.
Original
You could be suffering from depression but it's too early to tell why this has suddenly happened this month and not before.
What you NEED to do is show your parents you wrote this andhide nothing from them about it. Tell them you are overwhelmed and know you need help as you're having a lot of dark thoughts, constantly tired, and helpless.
Ask them to take you to an ER as you can't function properly and want help. A psychiatrist can figure out if you have depression, anxiety or other disorder and come up with the right medication and treatment so you're feeling better. You need to take this measure and find out.
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Every girl I liked or had a crush on:
1.) Didn't like me
2.)Already has som eone
3.)They would just not hang out more or just flaked when things were getting serious.
Constant rejection is really taking a toll on my self-esteem. Its gotten worse I don't see any reason to keep myself fit or keep trying. I feel like something must be wrong with me!
I just can't understand what I'm very open, love to talk to new people,and I like to think I'm attractive. Why is it then I'm not having any luck? And I've tried dating websites they just made me feel worse b/c I know no one has bothered to even look at my profile:( so what should I do? (link)
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Perhaps you hit it on the nose there without realizing the answer to your question was starring back at you.
Being honest is a good thing but perhaps you're being too open and too soon with your partner or divulging things you should keep under wraps longer if not never mention.
You want to appear to be private and have a level of mystery to you. Definitely tone done on the openness as that may be oft-putting to your potential partner.
If a woman already has someone that's not your fault or to feel bad about later. Also, if someone turned you down it doesn't mean they don't like who you are as a person. It may mean that they felt from a romantic standpoint that you wouldn't jive.
I also have a feeling that you don't let things unfold with friendship or relationship on its own and may be inadvertently pressuring or smothering these girls with constant need to hang-out and that may be why they are bailing. You're probably moving too fast whereas it needs to come slower.
There's nothing mentally or physically wrong with you. I can assure you of that. What you should do though is find a therapist to talk to and explain in detail and honestly that you can't get on with girls and always end up rejected after things reach a certain point or they aren't interested to begin with.
Maybe they can help you with social and other aspects. You need it. The other thing is maybe you are targeting the wrong type of girl or a so-called popular type or for certain physical attributes.
Look right in front of you to make sure you haven't overlooked someone and also look to girls who have the qualities not necessarily the looks you desire and find a partner there as often they are long lasting.
The worst thing you could do for your health let alone potential love-life is to become overweight, stop caring for your appearance, hygiene etc. over this because sure enough if the right person comes along they may not be in to someone who doesn't value himself.
Dating web sites aren't a good idea and if nobody read yours it has nothing to do with who you are but rather that your number 1 million in a system of all those profiles. Often people on those sites are pretty frigging scary but there are those like you. Don't give up on the face-to-face relationship though as one day the right person will come and click with you perfectly.
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I'm a 17 (18 in a month or so) male, and I don't know when or even why really, but I've been having the hardest time lately feeling anything. I often or not feel that I'm just a moving husk. I can't even hold a conversation with my friends, much less sympathize with them. I can't get them to have a willing conversation with me either, so im always trying to get them into one. But they just don't really seem to want to. I guess its this personality of not-caring-ever that may do this. Its not that I don't care, cause I do. I just can't express it or show it. I look at these problems from a psychological standpoint, and I think that this may stem from the lack of a father or the torment of bullies. Either way, i don't like it, and I just want to be me again, and not this walking ball of angry dynamite with a quick-to-light fuse... (link)
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It's a mental-health issue. It needs to be seen to by a mental-health professional. At the very least it sounds like depression. However, the bigger problem is an inability to function in normal situations, can't feel anything at all, and cannot function.
When you can't function normally or enjoy life it's time to head to an ER at a hospital. You NEED to and must be brutally honest while there and tell them what you wrote us here word for word. Why? This issue can get ten times worse if not checked by a psychiatrist.
Seeing as you don't seem to be a threat to yourself what they will do is examine you, get a sense of what's been happening and for how long and chart a course for you with medication and proper counseling to get better.
This doesn't mean you're "crazy" It just means you have an illness like any other to get in check and in control of. The doctor's can legally hold you for 72 hrs just to observe you and let you rest without outside distractions while they figure out what it is you have and how to combat it.
They'll send you home right after unless they feel you are endangered or in danger to self/others. This is your only option here. Your problem will not heal over time and will get worse if left completely as is.
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So I have this pretty big dark brown freckle "down there" in the area where the pubic hair grows and it's right in the middle. I have been insecure about it my whole life, and my last boyfriend was a jerk about it. We didn't have sex but he did see the freckle and he texted me about it saying why do you have that Indian dot by your vagina it made me wana throw up. He seriously said that. And we cared about eachother alot. But we eventually broke up and I have a new boyfriend but I'm scared to do anything sexual with him because I don't want him to see the freckle and have the same reaction. Is it really that bad?
Btw I don't plan on losing my virginity for a long time. I'm 16 and I'm a girl (link)
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I actually bookmarked your question on purpose to answer first when I logged on with enough time to answer in depth. When I was your age I had a pimple in the same general area (I'm male).
I was obsessed I was dying of something horrid if you'd believe but learned that it was just a freckle, you can get one anywhere, and that the skin is actually rougher and different pigment means different colors and marks that aren't present anywhere else on the body.
Your ex-boyfriend is a real dim bulb to say the least. He should understand that something like a freckle no matter where it was really doesn't matter much. He'd throw up over it? Please. He's a jerk and immature and shouldn't be looking at that area period.
I know your current beau wouldn't give this freckle a second thought nor would most males.
You should be honest with your new boyfriend and tell him one day you will be ready for intimacy but your boorish ex made a big deal of the freckle. Tell him he had you really upset and you feared if he saw it he'd do the same thing and bail.
I know he will be supportive and won't be phased at all. He'd probably be more scared about what you thought of his parts than anything else in that instance. Talk to him about that one negative experience and how it makes you apprehensive about anything sexual as it did a number on your self-image.
You'll be fine. Odds are unless you told him about it he wouldn't notice or if he did it wouldn't bother him or most guys at all.
Don't let that one person ruin your self-esteem or put you off of sex with a committed partner when ready for it. He was an idiot and pretty dumb to text about it or break up over it. His loss. You gained a better partner in the long run so you'll be fine.
You probably have had the freckle since birth but didn't notice it or see it as prominently as before. Unless it is something new or changing color or size it's not a growth so I wouldn't worry at all about that at all if it were on your mind.
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I found out my boyfriend is uncircumcised. BUT he doesn't believe me he's never let me see it flaccid now. hes 27 and he never knew this! he's always gotten an erection before we've had sex. when i saw the foreskin covering his penis when it wasn't erect i tried to explain it to him but he denied it and said it wasn't because it's just extra skin. he doesn't understand and i don't want to hurt him i want him to know and be proud of who he is i still love him regardless i just don't know how to handle this (link)
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I wouldn't argue about it but rather educate him. Tell him that he is uncircumcised and it's foreskin not extra skin he sees.
You can get him to search on Google for medical diagrams/photos showing him what his penis should look like. If he still doesn't believe you ask him to ask his physician next time he goes or better yet his parents who decided not to get it done to him. That's how to handle it.
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Hello. I am a 16 year old teenager who spends all her time with this one girl Lily. Lily is my best friend in the whole world, and I am very open about everything with her. Lily on the other hand does not tell me very much, but she always tells me that is just the way about her and not to take it real personally.
In the beggining of this year, Lily started Hanging out with this Lesbian in the year above us, Jessica. At first, it was just group plans, but than they started hanging out alone together all the time,and Lily really started to wanting to always have plans with Jessica.
Because of this, I was getting a bit concered that Lily was possibly a lesbian, just still in the closet about it all, but i didn't have to much prove besides a few texts Jessica sent Lily about her sexulity so I kinda just let things play out. Finally, my other best friend Marcus couln't handle it anymore, and Lily found out that Marcus and I both thought that she was a Lesbian.
Lily flipped out, said of course she isnt and just because she hangs out with Jessica all the time does not makes her gay.
So After that, I kinda just ignored the situation. Jessica and Lily don't talk now..and its been about 3 months.
Then. last night. I was given the opportunity to look at Lily and Jessicas facebook messages. all of them. Lily was sleeping and I was alone on her computer. I'm not proud of it, but I read every message. I so badly needed closure.
Basically, I found out that Lily had been dating Jessica for over 2 months, is actually a lesbian, and told Jessica I wouldn't accept her if she came out.
Which btw, is not true. Gay or straight, doesn't matter to me.
Whats keeping me up at night is the fact the I know all of this information. I know Lily must feel so alone always hiding in the closet, and as her best friend I so badly want to confront her about it.
Only thing is, how do I confront her about me knowing if the way I know was by being a huge and total snoop? I would loss all her trust!
Please Help... I really cannot wait another minute (link)
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How would you feel if someone read your Facebook messages or something private without your consent or knowledge? You would be beyond pissed and that's what she would be.
Why do you need closure anyway? Whether someone is gay/straight/bisexual is to be brutally honest none of your damn business. Your business ends at the tip of your nose.
Stay out of it and say nothing. If anyone needs to confront someone it's the two of them confronting you for doing something so wrong. If you lose her trust you deserve to. You knew full well at the time that it was wrong but gave in to curiosity.
If this girl wants to admit she is gay to others it's up to her to determine when and if she feels right to. The reason she has said nothing to you is because she knows you're the wrong person to put that information in the hands of.
She's deliberately not told you for reasons personal and sound to her. It should keep you feeling guilty or up at night as you betrayed your friend whether you can understand that or not.
All you can do now is make sure you never do it again and be supportive of this person and thank your lucky stars you still have a friendship with her. Put yourself in her shoes. You need to see how scared she must be and how hurt you reading her stuff was.
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im fat. i want to reduce my weight. i have decided to walk. now im 75kgs. i want to reduce 20 kgs. how long should i walk to reduce my weight faster? (link)
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Speak with your doctor who knows the proper weight for your height and will have a diet plan you can be successful with. They will probably refer you to a dietitian who can also help. That's the best way to reduce fat. Besides you need their guidance due to any health concerns to start dieting anyway.
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Im 22, female. I had sex with my friend, we have talked after words a little but I feel like things are weird now between us. I dont want to lose our friendship, but I dont know if I should I try to talk to him?
(link)
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Talk to him like anyone else. Tell him that things need not be embarrassing or awkward and that you enjoyed the experience. Thing is he may be insecure about his body, performance, and not know where the relationship is going.
There is a slight chance it was a negative thing for him but I doubt it. Try talking to him as it's the only way you both can move forward but think twice before doing this with a friend in future as it forever changes everything.
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I am 27, I am an introvert and I also suffer from depression.
I have no friends, I have not had real friends in about 3 years now. Each time I think of the idea I seem to shoot it down. I even had oppertunites to hang out with a few people and I find myself with very little interest in proceeding what seems to be no more then hi and bye. I ask myself " Why aren't. I interested in friends?" I can't seem to find a real valid reason other then they are drama and always hang out. I am young and should have friends but don't really want them?. (link)
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It's two problems not one that you are dealing with. The problem with not wanting to make friends or let people in is a paralyzing fear of rejection or them not liking you in the long run.
There's no need to be shy with people. You have a ton of qualities even if you don't see it yet that people desire in a true friend.
These people text you and invite you places because they genuinely want to know you. Most would be saddened if they knew how difficult it was to allow them in.
The second problem is depression. I know a lot about mental health and this area. I have to be brutal with you. Your depression is handling you and running your life and you're not handling it or fully in control but need to be.
It has full control and will continue to screw you over in the friends and lack of department unless you address your fear of people, lack of interest in others and what is holding you back from functioning normal in that area.
You need a psychiatrist (a new one as current hasn't helped) and perhaps a change of treatment and medication as it will equal a shift in thinking and ability to live how you want.
You need to tell him/her everything you just told us about inability to make friends and lack of interest in people at all as well as shyness and how long you have lacked any friends. It's not right but you can fix it with help.
You do need help and a doctor who will make you aggressively deal with it and depression. That's the key. Don't deal with therapists as they have no training in this or ability to handle mental problems. This is a job for a psychiatrist to support you with. Be open and honest and share this info with them.
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