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Didn't know he was uncircumcised


Question Posted Sunday February 24 2013, 10:11 pm

I found out my boyfriend is uncircumcised. BUT he doesn't believe me he's never let me see it flaccid now. hes 27 and he never knew this! he's always gotten an erection before we've had sex. when i saw the foreskin covering his penis when it wasn't erect i tried to explain it to him but he denied it and said it wasn't because it's just extra skin. he doesn't understand and i don't want to hurt him i want him to know and be proud of who he is i still love him regardless i just don't know how to handle this

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XxTwelfthNightxX answered Thursday February 28 2013, 10:43 pm:
Just let it go, girl. It doesn't really matter, anyways. Besides, you shouldn't be having sex before marriage. That's just my belief, you don't have to agree with me. If it's a turn off for you, then maybe you should see other people or something.

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Razhie answered Monday February 25 2013, 7:15 am:
Does it matter?
This really isn't worth getting into any fights over.

Your boyfriend was clearly really uncomfortable with whatever it was you said to him about his penis.

It's possible he was teased when he was young, or is just generally uncomfortable about how his penis looks. If he has ever watched much porn (and really, how many guys haven't?) he's probably only seen circumcised penises. He may really not know what is going on with his body - he may have even feared for years that there was something wrong with him!

You can't fix that for him right away. That's going to take some time for him to deal with.

Guys can be just as insecure and frightened when it comes to their body as any woman, so back off a bit. YOU know it's not a big deal, so don't treat it as one. You can't make him be proud of it, but you can help him see it's not a big deal by not making a big deal of it.

I understand your desire to educate him, but I'd also back off that for a least a little while. No 27 year old guy wants to be told he's an idiot when it comes to his own body and it would be nearly impossible for you, his girlfriend, to educate him on foreskins without it coming across that way.

So, the only thing you should say, if anything, is to apologize if you gave him the idea there was anything wrong with it - you were just surprised 'cause you hadn't really noticed before - you can even play it off like you were the dumb, unobservant one. Let him know that you know it's totally normally. He can ask if you if he wants to how you know, or what you know - if he doesn't, then drop the subject. He'll come back to it (or he'll use Google, or ask a doctor) at some point. It's not like not understanding his foreskin is going to cause him any trouble or illness - his ignorance is more embarrassing and stressful for him than it is dangerous. It's okay for him to figure out his body on his own timeline.

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solidadvice4teens answered Monday February 25 2013, 12:21 am:
I wouldn't argue about it but rather educate him. Tell him that he is uncircumcised and it's foreskin not extra skin he sees.

You can get him to search on Google for medical diagrams/photos showing him what his penis should look like. If he still doesn't believe you ask him to ask his physician next time he goes or better yet his parents who decided not to get it done to him. That's how to handle it.

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