I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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There is this guy I have a crush on that lives in the apartment under my Aunts house. His name is A.J. and I met him when I was in grade school. I had moved away though, and didn't see my aunt so I forgot about him for a few years. When I moved back I saw him again as I was reunited to that part of the neighborhood. I was leaving after a visit to my aunts and he was staring at me so bad that he almost ran into my mom and then something else too as he walked by. I thought he looked really familiar at the time. I couldn't figure out if he was staring because he thought I was attractive or if he was trying to figure out who I was. I saw him at school and heard the name of his older brother mentioned as well and I immediately remembered who he was. So one time I stopped him and was all "Hey I know you" and he was like "Well I don't know you," so I was like "Im Caroline's niece," and he goes "oh yeah!", and then walks off. So I really haven't gotten the chance to talk to him since then, but every time I have a class with him he smiles at me, or says hi, or something. He said Bye to me recently when I was leaving my Aunts house again. He looks at me all the time too but looks away really quick, and its never a stare more like a glance. I can't tell whether hes just being friendly or whether he has a small crush on me. What do you think? What should I do? (link)
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Don't do anything. Say hi, speak when you see him, be nice, just like you've been doing. If he likes you, he'll approach you about it. If not, he won't. Just live your life. Be yourself and do what you do. Let him make any moves. A girl who makes the first move seems desperate. That might not be fair, but its just the way it is.
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i was save when i was 13 years old. I believe in Jesus with all my heart and pray to God to forgive me. Time went by and i faded away from God. I came back to God when i realize how sin was destroying who God made me to be. But when trying to rededicate my life back to God i had trouble believing in the existence Jesus. It grief me because the bible says we have to believe in Jesus with all our heart. I ask myself the most important qestion anybody should ask themself. "Do i believe in Jesus with all my heart and truly it does seem real in my heart"
What do when Jesus does seem real to me anymore?
Need Biblical answers, your bother in need of help.
(link)
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This is totally normal, and even necessary, for every believer. We all go through times where we wonder and doubt. Its good to ask questions, to seek answers, not just to believe blindly. If Jesus doesn't seem real to you anymore, ask God for the answers. Even if you don't "feel" his presence, get on your knees and pray. Ask Him just what you asked us here. You'll be amazed, I know you will. Loving Jesus is like loving anyone else. There are times when I don't "FEEL" in love with my husband, but I push through those times until the "feeling" comes back. When you were first saved, everything was so knew and exciting. It was like waking up from a dark dream. The sun felt so good. But now that time has passes and real life has set in, its easy to forget those feelings. But faith isn't based on feelings. Its based on trust and experience. Bring these issues to a leader that you trust. You are not alone to feel this way, and believe me, you'll be better for it. Questioning God and His presence means you are actively engaged in seeking Him. Don't be discouraged. Press forward, keep asking questions (of good people you trust) and don't forget to pray. Ask for exactly what you want.
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*sorry if it's a little long but I really gotta break it down for the best answer* ok so my guy is wonderful... let me set some stuff up for you: if he has money and I need gas in my car he will let me gas up or take me to gas up. If I want to cook a fantastic meal he will get the groceries. He takes me out to dinner and we go to the movies and stuff like that. Like right now we moved cause he got a job in Iowa and he is paying the rent until I get a job (which he should, my mom taught me that any proper man would do that) He is generally a nice person and we have fun together. but there are some big things and some little things that are making it really hard for me to have a clear mind when it comes to staying with him. ok let's do the big stuff first...So sometimes he will like spaz out...like the other day he asked me to turn off the lights (cause he had to get up for work) but I was only going to cuddle with him for litterally like 2 mins and then I was going to cut it off...he asked me like 2 times and i was like sweetie I'm only going to be a minute and then I will turn it off...he like jumped up in this flailing way, pushing me out of the way and like yanked on the light cord and looked so heated. I know he has anger stuff he is working on letting go of. Ok here is another big thing, let's say this, we're in the car and he says can you turn the radio down and I say let me just finish this song and he may not want to wait that day for whatever reason and he asks me again and i say theres like' one minute left let me finish it, he'll maybe slam off the radio and look at me with this RAGE and I'm just like what the F**K? (like shock, like is this really happening)(and I am NOTHING LIKE THAT SO I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL!!!!) and then I'll say something like why are so you heated and he'll be like I'm fine, and I know he's not. Then maybe I'll change the topic and say could you roll the window up and he may respond with something like "Well, You should have worn a FUCKING SWEATER!!" And I'll just be like WOW what world am I in, cause this only happens like once a month and it's out of no where. Now we talk about that stuff and he is really working on it...here's a small thing, let's say we are supposed to share a medium drink...he will finish it all and not even stop to think oh kay hasn't had any yet...or he will defend other people over me and he doesn't even know them or know the whole story, or he will do something like today when i was sad about something he did (he didn't know what i was sad about) and he asked and i said it's girl stuff and he said you know what kay one day i am going to stop caring. Now that kind of stuff happens weekly. My thing is this, I am not the nag type...so i feel like I am already trying to work with him on the big spaz out stuff that I don't even want to bother him about things like why did you not save me some fries or why did you eat the entire sandwich except for 2 bites when you were supposed to split it with me? But that kind of stuff makes me a little sad and I just don't want to put a lot of pressure on him to be "perfect" cause that is what he is always saying "you know i'm not perfect and i'm really working on it and you should have seen me 2 years ago" and he is studying spiritual books so I know he has goals... but what do I do in the mean time to get through it? Do I just mention every little thing that bothers me? Sometimes i have felt like the only way to get through to him is to do it back but i am just so past that behavior and i feel like if i have to do that then I am not with the right person...but i feel in my heart that he is my soul mate, i just don't know how to keep it going. Sometimes I feel like I have to teach him how to be in a relationship, but he does SOOOO many things right! Like Important things. But he can be SOOOOO mean sometimes :( Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to seem like a victim, I don't feel like that...I feel like I have faith in what I feel he is and what he feels I am and that is each other's soul mate...cause i could leave but I really want to make it work and I know he does too, again he is really hahah he is really trying and that's what's so sad is to me it's like why in the world would you need to try so hard to be consistantly nice and considerate to someone? So I don't want to just be like Fuck you and leave after I get a job, I want to make this work for the long run...how do I deal with this? How do I pick my battles? How do I let stuff go? When does it go from letting him know when soemthing is wrong to nagging? Are my expectations too high? I don't feel like they are cause I treat him very well and he has like NOTHING to complain about...the worst he can come up with is when I am on my period I don't like to be touched and I am less patient with his BS and when he says something mean i get sad and those are literally the only 2 things about me that REALLY bother him. We have talked about it. What are you all doing out there to get through these types of things? and there's sooo many other things that I can't even get to covering with him, like more romance, because of this stuff...Thanks again and sorry for the length but I had to give some examples :) (link)
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I've been married for 10 years to an absolutely stand-up, wonderful guy. Our relationship is healthy and happy, so I think I meet your qualifications to answer this question. You sound like you really love this man. But honey, love isn't angry. I realize that you're only giving us the bad stuff here. It IS an advice site, of course, but even the small snippet of your life you've revealed here gives me cause for alarm. You admitted that he has anger issues. It also sounds to me like he has CONTROL issues. Does he monitor where and when you go out? Does he ask you to spend less time with friends? Does he get angry and sulky when you want to spend time w/o him somewhere or with someone? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you've got a problem. Control issues plus anger issues is a RED FLAG! Red flag! I can't say it enough. The good news is, men like that can change. With professional help they can work through their issues and become better men. The bad news is, it almost never happens while their in a relationship. I think its because romantic relationships can trigger so much stress and feelings of insecurity, they end up acting out. Its important to know that you can't change him. You don't have that power. As much as you love him, as much as he loves you, as often as he tells you he wants to change for you, you can't do it. If you think you can you'll be in for more heartache. I know you don't want to hear this, but I believe if you want a future with this man, you need to leave him. He needs time and space to work out his issues. He also needs professional help, not the kind for crazy people, but the kind for people who have had a hard life and need an objective outsider to help them process it all. You can be a support, but living with him will only end up hurting you and him. My husband would NEVER speak to me the way your boyfriend speaks to you. Under ANY circumstances, and other happy couple I know would say the same. There are some things you just don't do if you're married. Get out while you still can. This man shows all the classic signs of an abuser. Maybe not physically, but at least emotionally, and that's not fair to you, or him. Good luck.
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"Does he Care"
Posted Thursday August 20 2009, 11:59 am
Hey everyone!
Well to start off,I am 19 years old and I'm still single.What I mean by "still"single,is that I've never had a boyfriend.And that is not because no one has approached me,its just the simple fact that I want somethin serious and I know what I'm looking for.Well this past december I met this guy at a dance,and he asked me to dance with him.After that night he figured to get my number from my knephew who had gone with me.He called me and he started tellin me that he really wanted to talk to me.He liked how I was...now,i let him know that I didnt want anythin at the time,cuz i was talking to someone else.I left to Mexico for the two weeks of Chirstmas vacations,and at a 15th,my cousin had told me that he had talked to a guy,that apperantly was "IN LOVE" with me.He started talkin about me and about how great i was without havin to know the guy he was talkin too was my cousin.I came back in January and well,things didnt go to well with the other guy i was talkin too.So when i get back to tx,the guy from the dance calls me and while we are chattin he kept insisting about getting to know each other....months passed and I always let him know that I wasnt lookin for anything more but friendship.I had just got out of somethin and i didnt want issues.He would bring me flowers,gave me a ring for valentines day,(i didnt accept)when he didnt even know me as much.Till this day he insists.THE THING IS...he got back from canada(work)and I bumped in to him.He asked me if I was talkin to anyone,and I honestly told him YES.I met this guy at the island and well,I really like him.Now,The guy I like KNOWS i like him,and well I know he likes me too.We hava a mnth talkin...anyways I let him know about Frank(the guy from the dance).I told him that just two days ago he dropped some flowers off at my house even after i told him i was talkin to someone and the only thing he responded was"you do what makes you happy,if you feel happy with him,then GO AHEAD!"
So my question is....WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?lol does he not get that the one i like is him and not the guy who has been in back of me for months.????it makes it seem as if he is not even trying or as if he hardly cares....
So wat do you advice me?
Shouldnt it make him try harder knowin another guy is trying their best to win me over?
[ Answer Question | Reject Question ] (link)
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Hello???!!! He's trying to get you to MAKE A DECISION! He's respecting your boundaries (you admitted you had another "love interest") and he's trying not to push you. You're the one with the other person, not him. If you want to be with him, you'll have to tell him. If there were no third party involved I would say wait for him to express himself on where things are going, but since you created this whole situation, you need to deal with it. If you want to be with him, let him know, before he takes the hint (the one it LOOKS like you're giving) and leaves.
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Hello
My ex and I have broken up almost a year and a half ago and still to this day sometimes I think about him (He was my first and we were together for 5 years) I wonder how he is doing, What he is doing. However, I am very happy engaged to my new boyfriend whom I have been dating for about a year now. How can I STOP thinking about my ex? I don't want to think about him at all. please help (link)
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What do you feel when you think about him? Do you think you might miss him? Or do you just wonder what he's up to? Since you are seeking advice about this, its my suspicion that you may still have some unresolved feelings for him. You're not a bad person. You can love someone and still have feelings for another. It happens a lot. Its what you do with those feelings that counts. This is a tough situation. If you were married I would tell you to put the guy out of your mind, don't contact him and don't talk about him. Eventually the curiosity will disappear. But since you are making plans to marry, I consider this a serious matter that should be cleared up b/f you walk down the aisle. You don't want to go into a new marriage wondering about the what ifs... I think women should listen to their instincts more often. Our intuition is God's gift of wisdom to us, to help us navigate in a male dominated world. What's your gut telling you? I think you may be thinking about trying to contact this guy. I think you should. Its risky. But you need to know how you really feel before you commit your entire life to another man. You owe it to your fiance. It wouldn't be fair to marry him knowing you might still love someone else. It will help to be able to communicate with your ex. You'll get a better sense of who he is today. By not communicating at all, you're just building up a fantasy based on nostalgia, and that can be dangerous. You don't have to tell him your issue. You could just say hi, tell him you were wondering how he was doing. You may just find that you really don't have any real feelings for him anymore, but you won't know until you deal with it. Good luck to you. Its good you are seeking advice about this BEFORE you marry. You've got a good head on your shoulders. You'll do the right thing.
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so I have been dating my gf for about 2 months. She lives with her friend her 2 kids and my gf has a kid of her own. Well her friend takes all of her money makes her watch the kids, clean, cook, and if she doesnt do something right she gets yelled at. The friend lets her kids tear shit up and do whatever. I am having problems at home and want to move out and want to talk my gf into moving out, but she kinda has no choice until she can get help. but i dont want her to think im being bossy because I wanna get our own place what should I do? her friend and her kids are affecting are relationship (link)
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It sounds like you really care for your girlfriend. However, no matter what the situation is for her with her friend, 2 months is not long enough to know someone well enough to move in with them. Right now your relationship is still new, so you haven't really had the chance to get to know all the sides of your girlfriend. The only way you can know all those things is with time. Moving in together so soon will only bring more problems, not solve them. Especially with a child involved. Its wonderful that you feel so strongly for her and want to help her, but perhaps there is another way. Does she work? Maybe you could help her save her money for her own place. With a child she should really have her own place anyway. Maybe you could help her budget her money so she can save, take her to the bank to open a savings account. Does she work? If not, help her with childcare and finding a job. If her friend is really taking all of her money, you could sit down with her and the friend (calmly, maturly) and explain that your girlfriend is trying to save for her own place so she can get out of her hair and maybe she could help her by not charging her so much, if she agreed to be out in a month or two. There are other ways to help this situation that don't involve moving in together.
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So I've been an athlete all my life. I love working out, it helps take the stress away. In middle school I swam for a club team year around, but then this recent school year (freshman year highschool) i decided to take a break from swimming and concentrate on my softball. This upcoming sophmore year, softball didn't go to well last year so I thought I'd do highschool swim team. My mom signed me up for this five week club swim team thing from 6;45-8:45 in the morning. It's hard as hell, and all the swimmers there have swam their whole lives and it's easy for them. I was doing it with a friend, but now she can't cause her shoulder is injured. The last thing I want to dois go to this thing, no one talks to me PLUS it's hard as hell. It was nice to have a friend there for support, and now that I don't have that I'm just not sure. My parents are pushing this down my throat, forcing me to go. I HAVE to go tomorrow morning, but my parents just don't realize I only do this to keep in shape, I'm not interested in swimming in college or going to the freaking olympics. I've told them this, yet their still forcing me to go. I tell them I don't want to and I feel like they are totally dispointed. It sucks, I just want to quit this thing and run on my own or something, but my parents are fucking making me do this. It reallly really sucks. What should I do? (link)
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Maybe your parents are making you continue because they want you to learn that when you make a commitment to something you have to see it through, even if its tough. This is a 5 week program? Sounds to me like you're giving up way to soon! You've had a bump in the road. Your friend had to leave, and its harder than you thought it would be. Are you going to run away from everything that's challenging in your life? You won't get very far that way. Gut it out for a the last few weeks. Suck it up and finish what you started. This is what you said you wanted (I'm assuming your parents signed you up so you could be ready for the season), so now you have to see it through. When the program is finished, at least you'll now that you don't want to swim. You can make it. Then at least you'll be able to feel pride knowing you finished something that was super hard, something most other people could not have done.
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My whole life, so far anyways, has been one, big, miserable hell. I'm going to be 19 in September and I don't feel like I can trust anybody. I've been told I'm pretty even beautiful, but I am not popular. Everybody makes fun of me, all throughout school they've made fun of me. My friends make fun of me, my family makes fun of me, and they do it in front of people who just met me which gives them a bad impression of me. I feel like everyone hates me because of some of the stuff they say. Everyone talks down to me when I say how I feel and I just hate it! Everyone seems to want to know how you feel and then when you tell them, they yell at you! I hate my life, and I hate being alive. No one would miss me if I was dead, so why does God keep me alive? (link)
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Is there anyone in you family (Mom, Dad, Aunt, Step-parent) that you can ask for help? It sounds to me like you need some counseling, but (depending on if you still live at home) you may need to have an adult in your family help you find one. You are young. You're trying to figure out what your place is in this world and why you are here. Its not uncommon to feel the way you feel right now, at your age. Its hard to communicate with others when you're not sure at all about yourself or what you're doing with your life. Your family may be insensitive, but I'm sure they do love you, and if they knew you were so miserable, SOMEBODY would reach out to you. Try to find a counselor/ therapist in you area. Believe me, it might sound weird, but it helps. Also, try to find some groups or clubs in your area that you might enjoy. Book clubs or volleyball or softball teams, chess, whatever you are interested in. This will help a lot because you'll be able to meet people you already have things in common with, and they will be new people, so they won't have any preconceived judgments about you, like your family would have. Its like starting with a clean slate. However, again, I strongly recommend counseling for your trust issues. You really need someone to talk to who's objective and won't judge you or your feelings. You're alive for a reason. Trust me, you would be missed if you were dead. Push those thoughts out of your head. They're lies to keep you from acheiving the amazing things that are ahead of you in your life.
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Hey You Guys.I Really want some real Advice on this one becuase this has to do with my life and Its a very serious matter to me.Let's not begin things on the wrong hand..I love my Life.I feel like its the greatest gift I was ever given.But Sometimes I feel like Im done With it.For example,I sometimes get the feeling that All the exciting things that will ever happen In my life as come and gon.My head Is so full of dreams and I have a heart of gold but I feel like No one understands me..but me.I try so Hard to get in touch with my spiritual side becuase I so badly want to get closer with god and to understand my purpose here.I see everyone that I love Growing And finding their happiness But me..I cant seem to find happiness any where.Not in friends,not in family members,not even in boyfriends.Dont get me wrong..I love my family soooo much.I love my mommy who has been there for me through everything and Iam so gratful for her.Iam thankful for my step dad who had been in my life since i was two who never said no to anything.Im grateful for my big sister who's the most beatiful person I know and who is my biggest role model.Im even grateful for my annoying lil brother.Im gratful for my home and clothes.But most of all..Iam grateful for my best friend that came out the womb with me and that is my twin sister.When i look at her its like im looking into my heart.We have laughed together,cried together and even schemed together.lol.But that's just it..we HAVE..past tense.Everybody I know Has their own lives now.They have jobs and boyfriends and friends that they hang with allllll the time.I feel like Im no longer needed because im not gettin blessed like everyone else.I just wanna know why Im always left out.Im the type of girl who will ride a star if a could.I will always want to take away any pain that my loved ones are feeling If I could.I want nothing more then to take care of the people who have always taken care of me.Iam seveteen years old and thats my story.Somebody,anybody..What do you think I should do? I would love your feedback...thanks.
Sincerely,
confused girl. (link)
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You are growing up! These feelings are all a part of that. Sounds like this is a great time to do a little thinking and planning. Now is the time to decide which direction you want your life to go in. What is it you are interested in? What do you want to do in your adult life? What experiences do you want to have? Once you make some decisions, then its time to go out and pursue some of your goals. School? Work? Activity clubs? Whatever the path to get you to your goals, its time to start walking on it. You can't sit and wait for happiness and contentment to come your way. Its something you work toward. You do that my making a life for yourself, setting goals and then pursuing them. You will be fine. It sounds like you've been blessed with a lot of love in your life. Now is the time to find out more about yourself and who you are and who you want to be. All the love and support you have will only help you with this journey.
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I work at a department part time over the summer and winter breaks when I am not in school. The associate discount is 25% after being there for 1+ year and 20% for (link)
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Probably it will just be disciplinary. If you explain your situation (politely and calmly, apologizing) and they back it up with Corporate, they'll probably just document it. Stores have to be pretty "legal" with that kind of stuff. But it costs more to replace a worker than what they "lost" by you borrowing a discount. Don't stress too much over it. You'll be fine.
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Hello, i used to go to church about 3 years ago, i was a pentacostal. I was into church and felt the holy spirt, sang in church, participated in all the youth activities,went to church camp and everything else. Now, i gave all that up and after i stop going to church, problems everywhere came..my health is also, not in good condidtion. i really do wanna go back to church but i just need a push to go..i dont know where to start. iwant to go back to my old church but then again i dont. Can anyone who went through this help? (link)
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Why don't you want to go back to your old church? Are you ashamed? Don't be. Jesus died for our sins so we never have to feel shame. Remember the story of the Prodigal Son? One son left his father so he didn't have to live under his rules. He went out into the world to live on his own. The other son stayed and helped his father faithfully. Years later the wayward son returned, broken, poor. He'd been living with pigs. And the father welcomed him with open arms and gave him everything good he had to offer. That's how God sees us. He knows we make mistakes and fall away, get distracted, but every time we come back it is a joyful celebration! He is waiting to give you all of His best gifts. Go back to church. Ask for forgiveness and feel no shame. You are a jewel in His crown.
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Hey, ok let me begin.I just graduated school.I'am seventeen years old.And i personally think i'am more stressed then i need to be.For starter's I had to hold off going to college because i just dont have the money for it.I got some money from finacial aid but it just isnt enough.I would rather work to get the money that i need to help pay for my education.Even though i'am seventeen, sometimes i feel like im 30.Also,my friends,my sisters,and just about every body else i know have jobs and they are living there lives to the fullest but i just cant find a job for nothing.All my friends are going to college this fall and i feel like it should be me.And it also feels like everybody now have boyfriends but im alone like always.I feel some what left out and i feel like every body is getting blessed in someway but me.I have a twin sister who i'am very close to and just recently the family just found out that she is expecting.I think i cried that whole day.My sister was all i really had who havent left me behind but now i feel like things will never be the same between us now with the new baby coming.She,who also has a job,is either with her bum of a boyfriend or sleep from body aches.My older sister,who also has a job,is in college and has a boyfriend.My mother is sometimes down and out do to bills and all and i cant help but to feel like its my job to help her out.even though my dad lives with us and there is 2 incomes,she still acts as though she's not happy.But to the point,i just wanna be happy.I wanna work and go to college and have friends thats gonna be there for me.I also want a nice boyfriend that's honest and great to be around.Am i asking for too much? i havent got to my dreams and goals but thats another story. But what should i do becuase i dont wanna leave this earth without being happy. Thanks for listening,~ladypink~ (link)
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You're so young. I know it seems impossible now, but you have so many great adventures ahead of you. Don't think of yourself as being "left behind". Think of yourself as the one who's finally growing up. You're the one who has enough intelligence and drive to understand that college costs money that you're willing to work for. How many of your friends have to pay for their own school? You'll have an appreciation for college that other people don't have, because you know just how valuable it is. Its a shame about your sister, but she's not leaving you behind. If anything, its the other way around. You're moving on with your life, into adulthood and being responsible for yourself. She'll have to deal with a kid. She'll never again have the kind of freedom you have in your life. Sometimes growing up can be lonely. You start to realize the ways in which you are different from the people you've spent your life and time with. But growing up is also a wonderful adventure, filled with freedom and excitement and new experiences. Just keep moving forward one step at a time. The rest will fall into place, I promise. Start by continuing to look for employment. Remember, when you're not working, looking for work IS your job. And also remember that it takes people an average of 3 months to find a new job, so don't be to hard on yourself. Save up, start doing things you enjoy while you wait for college. Join a group or a club. Its a great way to meet people you have things in common with. You'll be so happy someday that you went through all of this. It will make you a better person, better able to take care of yourself and be responsible and independent as an adult. And that's the BEST way to attract a good, honest, man. Good men are attracted to women who are strong and independent, who have their own things going on. Stay the course, and I promise, in a couple of years you'll be beating them back with a stick!
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So I'm mostly on this site to give other people advice. But I could really use someone to tell about a little situation I'm having and I've read alot of other advice givers advice on here and alot of it is good, I'm sure some of you guys could give me some thing for me to think about.
Well, I have a boyfriend. Well, I'm supposed to.
I met him at the beginning of the summer, which was over a month ago. I met him at my apartments pool, and he was living here also, with his older brother. The very day that me and my friends met him and his brother at the pool, we went to their place that night to hang out. Me and my friend ended up hanging out more with him and drinking and went swimming and stuff. -Besides the point lol. But anyways... Me and him were interested in each other, and after that night we started texting alot, and starting seeing each other and hanging out. Not too long and we started going out, boyfriend/girlfriend. I really like him and want to be with him.
Well anyway, here's the deal,basically:
A few weeks ago his brother ended up asking him to leave. I haven't actually seen him since then. So he did, and he was staying with friends I guess and all... A little while later he dropped and broke his phone and so I couldn't really talk to him except for times when he could get in touch with me from other people's phones. Not being able to talk to him really frustrates me. It's like I don't know what to do about him at all. There was like a week I didn't hear from him at all and so I was like wtf, where is he??? :'/
Then he finally got in touch with me when he was over here in these apartments seeing his two nieces, his brothers daughters and told me he had been in florida with his cousin who didnt have a phone. He asked to come see me but I was sick so I didn't. We texted a little while, and then he had to go but he PROMISED he would text me later on with someone elses phone. I waited. Never heard from him. This was about four days ago now, and i still haven't heard from him. I really want to talk to him and not have to worry about whether or not it's going to be the last time I get to talk to him for a while. I already know the advice I would give myself and what I already want to do, but that involves him actually getting in touch with me. Because I want to really talk to him about this and ask him things like what is he doing? what are WE doing? what am i supposed to do? When is he going to get a new phone cause he said he was going to soon right when he had broke it. I want to know what he's going to do. And how I'm supposed to be having a relationship with him. I really miss him, I already know he really likes me. I mean right before he got kicked out, things were going great with us, I was going over to his house alot, he came over here some, I stayed the night at his house several times, we texted alot. Ugh, this is just really frustrating. Anybody have any input? (link)
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It seems like this guy has a little too much going on in his life right now to handle a full blown relationship. The fact that he was "kicked out" of his brother's home says to me that he isn't the most stable person right now, and then there's the whole phone thing. If he can't afford to replace a phone... that's a red flag. If you are looking for a real relationship, I say look somewhere else. He may be a nice guy and all, but you have to be realistic. If you're just wanting a distraction, well, you got it. Do your own thing until you hear from him. But it sounds like this isn't the time to pursue this relationship. Let him off the hook and wait for him to stabilize. Then maybe you can try again.
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Ok, so I'm 19/f and about to enter my sophmore year in college. For the past two years, I've had this thing for my best friends little brother, who just turned 17 and about to be a senior in high school. We have never hooked up, with the only thing being done is me kissing him while I was hammered and he was completely sober. I'm about to go back to school in about a month, and I don't know if I should pursue something or not. Last summer I left without doing anything because I was going to go to college, and didn't want to be tied down for my freshman year, but this year, I think I may be ready to try something
But for one, theres the age difference. I know its only two years, but hes in high school and I'm in college. While he is mature for his age, he still lacks any experience in the girl department. Second, I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty crazy in college, and I'm afraid I would do something to mess it up, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. He's on the right track, a pretty straight edge kid, and I'm, to say the least, the complete opposite. Third, he is my best friends little brother, and although she fully supports us, if something bad was to happen, I wouldn't want that to come in between me and my best friend.
But in the end, I really really really like him, and for the first time since I can remember, I might be willing to try somethinh. But there's only a month left in summer, and were not really at the point where we could start a relationship, and I don't know if we can get to that point in just a month. Especially since he's really shy, and I pretty much make the first move on everything. Basically, everythings just really confusing, and not a day goes by where I don't debate what to do. Sorry this is so long, but any help would be appreciated :-/ (link)
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This could turn out badly, since this IS your best friend's brother. I'd leave it alone for now and concentrate on college and all the experiences you have there. Chalk it up to a little crush and let time take care of the rest.
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okay so you're suppose to put the tampon in the hole closest to your stomach right? cause i tried opening like the lips and its really small...the tampon doesn't fit and i don't know if i should force it...helppppp =/ (link)
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It helps to lift one leg and brace it against something, toilet, tub, wall. Make sure you're using a plastic applicator the first few times (smoother insertion). Relax! Tension can cause the vaginal muscles to tighten up and close. Don't worry too much about the hole. If you can position yourself correctly, the tampon will slide right in without much guidance. Insert it until that tip is all the way in, then push in the applicator. You'll be fine. If the tip is not sliding in, take it out and try again. If the pain is too great, stop. You'll know its in right when the actual tampon is pushed in. It can't fit up your urinary tract. Good luck!
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Is if justified to side with one friend who has recently admitted to a physical affair over her husband who has had and is having an emotional affair with another woman? The other woman was friends to all of us and they're both in denial about any wrong doing. The marriage is splitting up due to the wife's physical affair, yet he is accepting no responsibility for his emotional affair. Am I justified to feel this way? (link)
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I wouldn't exactly look at it as "siding" with anyone. You are simply supporting your friend through a difficult situation. Yes, she made a mistake, but friends love each other through those things, and because you are close, you have a more intimate perspective on all the complexities of the situation and you are better able to sympathize with her. I say keep on supporting your friend. Do your best not to engage in any "husband bashing", as much as you may want to. You never know what may happen between them in the future. Her husband may come to his senses and they may reconcile and you become the "nasty" friend. But continue to listen to her and don't feel bad. You are a good friend and simply doing what good friends do.
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Iam 22 male from India. I was attracted to both men and women. But i was attracted more towards men than women. I had sex experience with 1 or 2 guys too. I havent taken any steps to have fun with girls so far. It is true that my mind is fond of seeking a girlfriend to have intimate friendship or love. I would like to get married with a girl and to lead a pleasant life with her and my children. Iam not interested in continuing my gay relation. I was in a confused state of mind. I really want to know where i was in my sexual orientation. If I get married with a girl,can I able to satisfy her sexual need and other needs ..?Kindly guide me whether I can marry a girl or lead my life single. Note: I was attracted to some girls but never had a courage to express my love to them. I dont know why... (link)
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I've personally known men who have left the gay lifestyle behind altogether and have become (over time) happily married men. Exodus is a group that assists people who want to leave homosexuality. Check out this website www.exodus-international.org
They have all kinds of resources and stories. The more information you have, the easier it will be for you to decide what you want to do in the future. You can't have a fulfilling relationship with a woman until you are completely honest with yourself about who your are and who you want to be. The resources you'll find at Exodus can help you figure those things out. Good Luck to you.
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Hi i met a wonderful man and married him i now live in new york but i came from england i have all my family in england i have been here for nearlly 4 years but i miss my family so much i dont know what to i want to go back and be with them but also want to be with my husband i am so sad at times it is so hard as i have no freinds just his daughter here and her son i feel like i dont know what to do i am so confused please help me (link)
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Adjusting to a new marriage is difficult. Doing it in a new country, away from everyone you know and care for is even more so. However, you've made the decision, you're here now, so the question is, how can you make this work for you and still be a good wife? Does your husband know how much you miss home? If not, tell him. Maybe the two of you can make arrangements for regular visits to England. It may mean a financial sacrifice, but if it makes you happy, it will make him happy too. Can any of your family arrange to visit with you from time to time?
I'm concerned that after 4 years you still don't have any solid friendships where you live. It may sound daunting at first, but the best way to meet people is to join a group or a class. Think of something you like to do (knitting, reading, dancing, etc.) then find a club or group that meets regularly. You'll make friends easily because you'll be in a group of people that already share a common interest. Its important that you seek out like-minded people that you can spend time with and enjoy yourself with (outside of your husband). Nothing can ever fill the space in your heart that your family does, but you CAN lead a fulfilling and active life with your new husband once you've created a circle of friends and supporters.
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16/F
Anxiety and depression runs in my family.. My mom, dad, and brother are all on depression medicine. I was once diagnosed with deperession about 3-4 years ago, but I overcame it. I now have realized that I am starting to feel major anxiety. (always wondering what my boyfriend's doing, why won't he text me back, what if something bad happens to my family, etc.) I overthink everythingg. I AM SO SICK OF THIS! I'm a happy person, but this anxiety is turning into depression.
I've tried a lot of things to fight this. (praying, learning how to not be so senstive, and now I'm going to try meditating.) I really do not want to take medication like the rest of my family, but I'm afraid it's come down to that.
What are some tips for fighting anxiety and depression? What medications are helpful?
Thanks so much! (link)
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I once suffered anxiety and depression myself. I started on medication, and it did make me feel better, but I realized that it didn't cure the REAL problem, it just masked it, so I threw away the pills and found a good therapist. You need counseling. I cannot stress enough what a difference a good therapist can make. I was able to get to the root of my problems and eventually beat the anxiety and depression. I was able to end therapy within a year.
Getting help was the best decision I ever made. If you don't know where to start, ask your family doctor, or tell your parents you need to go find help. I promise, you won't be sorry, and you'll be able to feel free.
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so heres my problem i have a lot of friends who are drug addicts from pill heads to pin cushions (heroine addicts. My brother is friends with some of my friends and he's always like you shouldnt hang out with them or your going to end up like them, but its like most of these people ive been friends with for years and the only thing ive done is pot, witch everyone on the planet has at least tried once. He doesn't think i have the will power to say no for some reason.. witch i really do im never going to do anything other then pot because i see how it effects my friends and i admit that there dumb for doing it but hey its there life you have to let people make there own mistakes. Well mt brother went and told my mom that he thinks im going to end up like my friends witch isn't true and he started saying how there all ***holes witch and its like some of the nicest people i have met are drug addicts.. how can i convince my brother to lay off, i mean maybe to other people this looks bad but really.. it's not my friends would never pressure me to doing anything i didn't want to do most of my friends say that if i ever tried anything there doing they'd kill me, so it's not like there going to force me i tried explaining this to my brother but hes so oponinated, how do i let him no he's being over protective and needs to lay off, just telling him isn't working.. (link)
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Your brother's not being overprotective. He's being smart (if not a bit hypocritical, since he's friends w/ some of those people too). Your brother knows what you aren't experienced enough to know yet, that you ARE who you hang out with. You may not be into those harder drugs right now, but if you are around them long enough, even if no one is PUSHING them on you, you'll be tempted to try them, and that's when the real trouble starts. I'm sure these people are nice enough, but what you don't understand about "drug addicts" (your description) is that eventually the drugs push out the person, and they become more important than anything. Drug addicts will say anything, lie to anyone, steal from their own mothers, just for a fix. Your brother might seem like a jerk to you right now, but I have no doubt he has your best interests in mind and he know what he's talking about. Try to explain to him that you hear what he's saying, but he's coming on too strong. Then thank him for caring about you and doing his best to make sure you're safe and get the chance to live a normal life.
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