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Ex..
Hello
My ex and I have broken up almost a year and a half ago and still to this day sometimes I think about him (He was my first and we were together for 5 years) I wonder how he is doing, What he is doing. However, I am very happy engaged to my new boyfriend whom I have been dating for about a year now. How can I STOP thinking about my ex? I don't want to think about him at all. please help
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Hi there..
Your probably not ever going to stop thinking about your ex. You were together for a long time and he was a big part of your life.
I'm sure there were a lot of good times you both had together. Sometimes it's not just the love you loose but it's the friendship and the comfort of that particular person. Whether it be an ex boyfriend, a family member or an old friend whom you've lost contact with.
It's normal, just think about. Your not doing any harm. Don't feel guiltly. Eventually it will go away but in the meantime carry on with your life and if you happen to think about it.. who cares?!
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What do you feel when you think about him? Do you think you might miss him? Or do you just wonder what he's up to? Since you are seeking advice about this, its my suspicion that you may still have some unresolved feelings for him. You're not a bad person. You can love someone and still have feelings for another. It happens a lot. Its what you do with those feelings that counts. This is a tough situation. If you were married I would tell you to put the guy out of your mind, don't contact him and don't talk about him. Eventually the curiosity will disappear. But since you are making plans to marry, I consider this a serious matter that should be cleared up b/f you walk down the aisle. You don't want to go into a new marriage wondering about the what ifs... I think women should listen to their instincts more often. Our intuition is God's gift of wisdom to us, to help us navigate in a male dominated world. What's your gut telling you? I think you may be thinking about trying to contact this guy. I think you should. Its risky. But you need to know how you really feel before you commit your entire life to another man. You owe it to your fiance. It wouldn't be fair to marry him knowing you might still love someone else. It will help to be able to communicate with your ex. You'll get a better sense of who he is today. By not communicating at all, you're just building up a fantasy based on nostalgia, and that can be dangerous. You don't have to tell him your issue. You could just say hi, tell him you were wondering how he was doing. You may just find that you really don't have any real feelings for him anymore, but you won't know until you deal with it. Good luck to you. Its good you are seeking advice about this BEFORE you marry. You've got a good head on your shoulders. You'll do the right thing.
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