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im so confused. I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASE READ IT ! & HELP!!
im 15 year old girl and a sophomore and my ex boyfriend whos 16 but is this year a senior went out for about 5 months.. we had sex after 2 months and then he cheated on me. he cried about and and everything and i know he truly felt bad but our relationship had been on the rocks.. we broke up and got back together about a month later. we were so in love, he said he would always love me no matter what. we broke up again and he said he still loved me he just couldnt commit with football and school starting again. the whole school year we were on and off friends but he acted like he hated me alot of the time. in january i went over his house and we hooked up and after that he didnt talk to me again but i cold tell that day somethin was weird that he wasnt into it cause he wasnt acting like the jonathan i went out with. he recently started to text me and it was so random because i thought he hated me.. he texted me about every morning and nighgt and he said we should hang out and we did. i once again fell into his trap and we hooked up but only kissed/made out and after that he hasnt texted me. but the difference is when we hung out the other day he WAS acting like the boy i fell in love with and went out with last year. he acted the same and was nice and into everything that was going on. im so in love and dont want to let him go, so what should i do ?
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Girlll don't play stuuupiddd. You jus keep hanging on because for some reason you think he's gna be the way he was wen you fell in love with. He's playing you and doesn't want you. Harsh but its the truth. He's a boy sex is all on his mind abd when you don't put out he gets mad. So he's just a horny littl boy. Move on
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Heya :),
You seem really emotional about this issue and in need of some strong guidance, so I'd love to be like a big sister (I'm 28) to you and give you some perspective on your situation. what you take away from it is of course up to you.
IMMEDIATE ADVICE:
Your ex-boyfriend is a senior in High School now.
There is a lot of potential on the horizon and new responsibilities of adulthood that may be weighing on his mind and causing him to act finicky. This is not unusual for someone his age and you can't allow his behavior to devastate you emotionally. It doesn't mean he has no true feelings for you. He may not even be certain what he feels himself and is struggling with that.
For teenagers, you guys have already experienced an intense relationship and without the other concerns of adulthood (like house mortgages or rent, insurance payments, family planning, financial investments and budgeting, transportation costs, education costs, moving expenses) the relationship has occupied a lot of your mind and no doubt, his as well - it may feel right now as though a love life is at the center of your world. It may have even felt as though you were both getting too serious way too fast. YOU may not feel this way, but HE might, or at least be wrestling with that idea.
If you honestly want to build a lasting relationship with your ex, you have to be someone he sees as confident and capable of existing happily without him while at the same time giving him enough CLEAR signals that you are still interested in continuing a romance with him so that he knows there's still a door open to him. But FORCE him to open it, if he wants to be with you that way. Don't do all the work yourself. If this guy is toying with your emotions, tell him how it is making you feel (perhaps put it in writing) and then start opening yourself up to be with others, get on with your life and make him aware of this. If he wants to be your boyfriend again - he will come to you. If not, give him the emotional space he needs to sort things out- in fact, if he continues to act hot and cold with you - FORCE him to take some time away to sort out how he really feels without having the physical temptation of your presence as a distraction. Don't expect him to do this on his own if he continues to act sweet on you and then ignore you for long periods- he may not even know that it's what he needs.
Use this time to do some soul searching of your own. Take up a new hobby. Keep a journal. Hang out with an old friend or make a new one... but don't get bent out of shape if you don't hear from him right away. If you're not thinking about him, the time will go by faster than you think AND you'll have interesting stuff to talk about with him next time he feels like hanging out, right? Then, find out what his plans are for the immediate future and see if they mesh with your own and whether or not you will have to deal with a long distance relationship when he graduates. This can be a relationship killer if either one of you is not prepared for that level of commitment.
ADDITIONAL ADVICE:
Above all else - be honest with yourself and be honest with your ex, but realize you both still have so much life ahead of you and anything can happen with it. You don't want to make a foolish decision now that will limit many of the possibilities still available to you in the future (seriously consider the risk you take every time you have sex, for example).
The future is something that you can't even envision now at your current mindset- simply because you're actually still physically growing and maturing - including your brain (doesn't completely mature until you're 25)! Also it will take several years for all that crazy surge of hormones you're experiencing right now to balance out (starts to level off around 20 then shoots up again for a short period around 30 before you later hit menopause around 50). Trust me - I've been through it all already (except menopause... still looking forward to that, ugh)!
Just 10 years from now you will look back on this year and so much of the 'big things' will seem insignificant... and you may be surprised at how much the little stuff actually mattered.
So.. enjoy your youth while you have it, but be smart about it! - enjoy your ups as well as the downs - these can be your most creative moments. You have your greatest potential available to you right now - the power to shape your life already exists for you and developing a romance with someone is only one small part of it and you will have many opportunities for this throughout your life. Other opportunities may only knock once.
Find an adult you can trust who shares something close to your own ideology and speak with them on a regular basis. You might even talk to a school counselor and see if they can hook you up with a mentor.Find out what things are the most important considerations RIGHT NOW for someone your age and make sure you are addressing those things too!
Best of Luck!
-Wanderlust23lost
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sorry be it seems like he doesnt want a relationship right now..he wants to just have sex with you and do him at the same time..He cant be using school as an excuse to not being with you..Coz he if really wanted to be with you nothing would stop him from being with you. As for him texting you is becoz he wants some cheeks and den have nothing to do with you untill he gets lonely again and text you....He changed and i dont think he would be the same guy you knew and fell in love with..you need to move on! hes a senior now, next year he'll be in college and im sure hes not gunah want to be in a relationship also..he is at a stage where he doesnt know what he wants..if u really love him then maybe in the future he will be yours again..but for now stop falling into his little trap becoz its making you feel worst and catch more feeling towards him.. its time to move on.
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