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Question Posted Tuesday July 7 2009, 1:25 am

Hi i met a wonderful man and married him i now live in new york but i came from england i have all my family in england i have been here for nearlly 4 years but i miss my family so much i dont know what to i want to go back and be with them but also want to be with my husband i am so sad at times it is so hard as i have no freinds just his daughter here and her son i feel like i dont know what to do i am so confused please help me

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advicegirl44 answered Tuesday July 7 2009, 9:47 pm:
In my opinion i would go to england rent a house there with your husband and those kids. See if it makes you happier and if it does then find an apartment or a house to buy in England So that you wont be depressed on missing your family.

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upsidedown001 answered Tuesday July 7 2009, 7:04 pm:
There is nothing wrong with feeling homesick. Keeping in contact with them can help so email, call, or even visit every once in a while so that way you can be closer to your family. And tell your husband so he understands what you are going through. You can make visiting your family, a vacation for the two of you.

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dearcandore answered Tuesday July 7 2009, 5:53 pm:
Adjusting to a new marriage is difficult. Doing it in a new country, away from everyone you know and care for is even more so. However, you've made the decision, you're here now, so the question is, how can you make this work for you and still be a good wife? Does your husband know how much you miss home? If not, tell him. Maybe the two of you can make arrangements for regular visits to England. It may mean a financial sacrifice, but if it makes you happy, it will make him happy too. Can any of your family arrange to visit with you from time to time?

I'm concerned that after 4 years you still don't have any solid friendships where you live. It may sound daunting at first, but the best way to meet people is to join a group or a class. Think of something you like to do (knitting, reading, dancing, etc.) then find a club or group that meets regularly. You'll make friends easily because you'll be in a group of people that already share a common interest. Its important that you seek out like-minded people that you can spend time with and enjoy yourself with (outside of your husband). Nothing can ever fill the space in your heart that your family does, but you CAN lead a fulfilling and active life with your new husband once you've created a circle of friends and supporters.

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Christy12583 answered Tuesday July 7 2009, 4:17 pm:
First of all congrats on getting married. Second, you should tell your husband that you miss your family and want to be with them. Try talking to your husband and ask him how he would feel if you moved back to England. You and your husband can move with the kids to England so that way both of you are happy. He has his wife and kids and you have your family. If he really loves you then he will understand that you miss your family and that you want to be with them. It doesnt hurt to ask. If that doesnt work out then instead of moving to England you can try visiting your family more often. Maybe every 4 months or so you can go visit them and on holidays you can go to. I hope this advice helps you and good luck.

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