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My life not going so good.
Hey, ok let me begin.I just graduated school.I'am seventeen years old.And i personally think i'am more stressed then i need to be.For starter's I had to hold off going to college because i just dont have the money for it.I got some money from finacial aid but it just isnt enough.I would rather work to get the money that i need to help pay for my education.Even though i'am seventeen, sometimes i feel like im 30.Also,my friends,my sisters,and just about every body else i know have jobs and they are living there lives to the fullest but i just cant find a job for nothing.All my friends are going to college this fall and i feel like it should be me.And it also feels like everybody now have boyfriends but im alone like always.I feel some what left out and i feel like every body is getting blessed in someway but me.I have a twin sister who i'am very close to and just recently the family just found out that she is expecting.I think i cried that whole day.My sister was all i really had who havent left me behind but now i feel like things will never be the same between us now with the new baby coming.She,who also has a job,is either with her bum of a boyfriend or sleep from body aches.My older sister,who also has a job,is in college and has a boyfriend.My mother is sometimes down and out do to bills and all and i cant help but to feel like its my job to help her out.even though my dad lives with us and there is 2 incomes,she still acts as though she's not happy.But to the point,i just wanna be happy.I wanna work and go to college and have friends thats gonna be there for me.I also want a nice boyfriend that's honest and great to be around.Am i asking for too much? i havent got to my dreams and goals but thats another story. But what should i do becuase i dont wanna leave this earth without being happy. Thanks for listening,~ladypink~
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Hello,
I was in a similar position to yours. When I graduated high school I was 17 and forced to take a year off until I was eligible for in state tuition. I felt just like you, as if everyone around me was moving ahead and I was being left in the dust. But through all of that I realized two things. For one thing, the catastrophe I was making the situation out to be was really minor when I reassessed the situation, and second that the most depressing time in my life always seemed to come after I had compared my life to other people's. So you haven't started school yet? It's a bummer I know but think of this time as a way to get to know yourself. Throughout all of my free time I found a major I really want to stick with and now I am way more focused on school that I ever would have thought I would be if i'd started earlier. Don't look at your friend's situations and think "that should be me" because if it was supposed to be you, you'd be their. Everything happens for a reason, I found that out soon enough. Taking the year off I found a school and classes that I could take at an advanced rate and now, I'm going to graduate ahead of my class when before I was behind.
There are a lot of options to afford school there are work study programs, that offer jobs on campus that let you pay of your studies and student loans. I don't think you are asking for too much at all. In fact what you want is similar to what a lot of people want. I know that you worry about your mother but I don't think you should let it affect you too much, like you said she has two incomes. And even though your sister is having a baby this can be a time where you form an even closer relationship with her. With your time off, maybe you can help her prepare for the arrival, you said yourself she is always sleep from body aches. I remember when I took time off I had a chance to form a close bond with my mother, and for that alone I'll never regret my time off.
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You're so young. I know it seems impossible now, but you have so many great adventures ahead of you. Don't think of yourself as being "left behind". Think of yourself as the one who's finally growing up. You're the one who has enough intelligence and drive to understand that college costs money that you're willing to work for. How many of your friends have to pay for their own school? You'll have an appreciation for college that other people don't have, because you know just how valuable it is. Its a shame about your sister, but she's not leaving you behind. If anything, its the other way around. You're moving on with your life, into adulthood and being responsible for yourself. She'll have to deal with a kid. She'll never again have the kind of freedom you have in your life. Sometimes growing up can be lonely. You start to realize the ways in which you are different from the people you've spent your life and time with. But growing up is also a wonderful adventure, filled with freedom and excitement and new experiences. Just keep moving forward one step at a time. The rest will fall into place, I promise. Start by continuing to look for employment. Remember, when you're not working, looking for work IS your job. And also remember that it takes people an average of 3 months to find a new job, so don't be to hard on yourself. Save up, start doing things you enjoy while you wait for college. Join a group or a club. Its a great way to meet people you have things in common with. You'll be so happy someday that you went through all of this. It will make you a better person, better able to take care of yourself and be responsible and independent as an adult. And that's the BEST way to attract a good, honest, man. Good men are attracted to women who are strong and independent, who have their own things going on. Stay the course, and I promise, in a couple of years you'll be beating them back with a stick!
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