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what's a girl to do?
So I'm mostly on this site to give other people advice. But I could really use someone to tell about a little situation I'm having and I've read alot of other advice givers advice on here and alot of it is good, I'm sure some of you guys could give me some thing for me to think about.
Well, I have a boyfriend. Well, I'm supposed to.
I met him at the beginning of the summer, which was over a month ago. I met him at my apartments pool, and he was living here also, with his older brother. The very day that me and my friends met him and his brother at the pool, we went to their place that night to hang out. Me and my friend ended up hanging out more with him and drinking and went swimming and stuff. -Besides the point lol. But anyways... Me and him were interested in each other, and after that night we started texting alot, and starting seeing each other and hanging out. Not too long and we started going out, boyfriend/girlfriend. I really like him and want to be with him.
Well anyway, here's the deal,basically:
A few weeks ago his brother ended up asking him to leave. I haven't actually seen him since then. So he did, and he was staying with friends I guess and all... A little while later he dropped and broke his phone and so I couldn't really talk to him except for times when he could get in touch with me from other people's phones. Not being able to talk to him really frustrates me. It's like I don't know what to do about him at all. There was like a week I didn't hear from him at all and so I was like wtf, where is he??? :'/
Then he finally got in touch with me when he was over here in these apartments seeing his two nieces, his brothers daughters and told me he had been in florida with his cousin who didnt have a phone. He asked to come see me but I was sick so I didn't. We texted a little while, and then he had to go but he PROMISED he would text me later on with someone elses phone. I waited. Never heard from him. This was about four days ago now, and i still haven't heard from him. I really want to talk to him and not have to worry about whether or not it's going to be the last time I get to talk to him for a while. I already know the advice I would give myself and what I already want to do, but that involves him actually getting in touch with me. Because I want to really talk to him about this and ask him things like what is he doing? what are WE doing? what am i supposed to do? When is he going to get a new phone cause he said he was going to soon right when he had broke it. I want to know what he's going to do. And how I'm supposed to be having a relationship with him. I really miss him, I already know he really likes me. I mean right before he got kicked out, things were going great with us, I was going over to his house alot, he came over here some, I stayed the night at his house several times, we texted alot. Ugh, this is just really frustrating. Anybody have any input?
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It seems like this guy has a little too much going on in his life right now to handle a full blown relationship. The fact that he was "kicked out" of his brother's home says to me that he isn't the most stable person right now, and then there's the whole phone thing. If he can't afford to replace a phone... that's a red flag. If you are looking for a real relationship, I say look somewhere else. He may be a nice guy and all, but you have to be realistic. If you're just wanting a distraction, well, you got it. Do your own thing until you hear from him. But it sounds like this isn't the time to pursue this relationship. Let him off the hook and wait for him to stabilize. Then maybe you can try again.
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I'm sure this situation is very frustrating for you. The best thing you can do is just to wait until you hear from him again, then ask all the questions that you want to ask. It's a good sign that he's been trying to get ahold of you from other people's phones and that he has succeeded a couple times. I'm sure he didn't text you because he didn't have access to a phone. It doesn't seem to me that he's just running the streets, doing whatever he wants and forgetting about you. It seems like he legitimately wants to talk to you.
But, that doesn't save you from the frustration it's causing. The next time he gets in touch with you (which hopefully will be soon) make sure you ask him when he's getting a phone and tell him to not tell you he's going to call/text you unless he's absolutely sure he has access to someone's phone.
Make sure you tell him that you miss him, so he knows that you're still interested in him. I'm sure that once you talk to him and get a few answers cleared, you'll get some peace of mind. You should also see if he can come over to your apartment or if you could make a date to meet somewhere like a restaurant/theatre.
Once you know where he stands; that he misses you and everything, you'll probably feel much better. But, if he can't get a phone and can't see you, you'll have to make a decision about what to do then. It would be awfully hard to have a relationship with someone that you can never even speak to. Your relationship would always be stuck in that beginning stage because you wouldn't be able to talk enough to progress to something else.
It sounds like he's going through a rough time, getting kicked out and whatnot, so just try to hold on for a few more days and clear things up as soon as you talk to him.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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