Sherry's advice column

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Q: i desperately need help to stop cutting.. im too scared everyone will judge me if i tell them, ive been doing it since i was 11 (now 16). i wanted to tell my best friend but i have already told her i got the scars from random accidents.. she has made jokes in the past about how they really look like self mutilation scars and she said 'i really dont understand how anyone could be into that.. 'i hate my life" *gestured cutting wrist. i was going to tell my teacher when he had a discussion with me on how i deal with emotions but i just couldnt say it. Theres no way i would talk to my mum because she would over react.. and i dont want to go to counseling because i heard they tell your parents.. how can i stop this by myself? i already write a journal, draw pictures and horse ride

Well about your friend, she just doesnt understand. if she was put into a situation like your's, she would feel like there was no other way to end the pain. Everytime you wanna cut, you just need to tell yourself that the pain will be gone for 5 minutes but will come back anyway. So whats the point in hurting yourself just for 5 minutes of happiness. Why not get full-recovery and full-happiness without doing anything to hurt yourself. Try to understand your body is beautiful and it is yours, you need to take care of it. Whenever you feel like cutting do something else. Like for example, riding your horses. Drawing pictures, whatever you do that will take your mind off of cutting. It probably is easier said than done, but if the things I said dont work or dont help...I think you would need to get professional help. Even if your parents found out. Good luck, keep me updated if you can!

Q: i've was a cutter for like 3 months and i decided to quit before i got sent away i've only been clean for a week..i know thats not long...but then i found out my friend killed himslef by cutting and i dont know how to handle that and my other friend has a problem with cutting...and im just really confused..?!?!

is there anything i can do to help my friend...

and how to i let my emotions out without hurting myself....please help!!

-Ababii

Try letting all your emotions out through writing in a journal or poetry. Does it sound dorky? Well its helped for a lot of people. I'm sorry about your loss. And a week is great, keep going..dont give up!

Q: Ok, here's the deal. I have HIGH morals, and one of them is that i dont want to kiss a guy untill i get married. Well. theres this guy that i really like and he likes me. and if we go out i know that he'll wanna kiss me and i've been thinkg about it and i wanna kiss him. what do i do?? I am afraid if i dont then i'll regret it. And i think i'll regret it if i don't.

What do I do ??

My friend said she was going to wait until her wedding day, and then she didnt. And she didnt regret it. Kissing isint a big of a deal. If you wanted to wait for sex, that would be a way better choice. But really kissing isint all that bad!

Q: Me and this guy have liked eachother for about 2 months (long story why we're not dating yet) and we were outside of our friend's house. We held hands and he kissed me. My parents just happened to be driving by at the time, and me being their "little baby girl" they're extremely over-protective. They went to his house and told him to stay away from him and told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore. I am very upset about this and so is he. I usually don't get chances like this to have a relationship so please..help. What can I do to make this work?

Talk to your parents about it. Say he is a nice guy and you feel like your old enough to handle a realationship. And maybe ask if he can come over to dinner and talk to your parents so they can get to know him. Thats all you can do, I hope the relationship works out. Keep me updated if you can!

Q: My brother is sometimes nice to me but when he is mean to me he hits me or pushes me and kicks me. He is older than me and i dont know wut to do. I tell my mom and my sisters my mom says she is going to talk to them about it but she never does! My sisters tell him to stop and go to his room but he just does it when they rnt looking just a while ago he got my head and hit it against the wall. I want to talk to my mom about it but i don't know how to. Can u please help ASAP HELP Please i am begging i am so sad,And mad AHH help

Yeah I agree. Talk to your mom, and have a serious convo with her. Say it hurts you physically, emotionally, and mentally. If she doesnt do nothing, I would call the cops. But I dont know about kicking him in the balls, he'd wanna hurt you even more. Does your brother or brothers have school, life, job problems? If so, their probably taking it out on you. get help. I dont want to see you get hurt. keep me updated if you can!

Q: ok my head is like 23 in. all the way around.. and it bothers me so bad.. and to make it worse some kid called me big head.. i have like obsessive cumpolsive disorder.. when people tell me whats wrong with me.. i never stop thinking about it because it bothers me so bad.. i mean is having a big head bad and would you make fun of someone for it.. i have friends and guys have asked me out.. but my self esteem is just so low and i need to stop.. i also have a small mouth and these 2 kids call me stone faced because i barely smile and it annoys me so bad and they know it does but people in my school just love to make fun of people.. its basically the only way they can be funny. just tell me what you think.. and if your gonna leave something ignorent DONT PISS ME OFF

I'm sorry. If guys have asked you out and you have friends its not that bad right? Yes, kids are really cruel and I totally understand what your going through. Just keep your head high and show them your not going to stoop down to there level or get hurt by it! your better than them!

Q: OK f/13/
i go to a privet school ok but don't think i am a prep. ok i have long blond hair and blue eyes, and i am short like maby 4'8" or 4' 9" and none of the guys in my grade(7th ) like me and its like i just feel realy left out some times from my friends and all the "popular" girls just go out with guys to have a boyfriend i think and i am like not desperat but i want to like some one and and want some one to like me with out it being grows . is this normal or am i just a freak over reacting. help and what do guys like in girls at the age about 13.

Aw, of course its normal! All girls want someone to like and be liked back. Maybe there is a guy that likes you but hasint told you...there will be plenty of guys for you, your really young and have a while to meet guys! just be patient and flirt! ;)

Q: How do I get my hair to become straight and stay like that? It's a little wavy right now. What kind of products should I use? My hair is kind of thick too.

Just use a hair straightner. You get them at Sally Beauty Supply or Target. You straighten all of your hair and yeah!

Q: Is there any way to make it clear to a guy that I would like to go to prom with him, with out actually asking him myself? We are friends, and I actually like him as more than a friend. We meant to go to another school dance together, but it just never worked out, some other things got in the way. He is kind of hard to read, but had seemed sincerely upset when we couldn't go to the last dance together. How should I let him know that I would love to go to prom with him, before I get asked by someone else? Or before he thinks I won't say yes and asks someone else?
Thanks in advance for your advice, I will rate high, if that helps. Oh, and I'm 17/f.

Say something like "Dude, I dont have a date for prom yet. I'm getting worried" Something like that, maybe he'll say something about taking you!

Q: Ok this is a stupid question but i'll ask it anyway. What should you tell a guy if he ask you if you're a virgin? Evereyone is telling me different. some of my male friends tell me that you should defenetly tell them that your a virgin because all guys like the girls to be like pure and clean and stuff (i dont know, thats what they tell me) and that if your a virgin they will like you more because it will be like a big deal for them..you know, to get a virgin to lose her virginity is big, it will make them proud of them selves or something. And some of my friends tell me that they always go for girls that lost their virginity already because that would make them more experienced and stuff.And it will make the sex better.. And that it wont be as gross as having sex with a virgin..I dont know im soo confused! I dont want the guy to think that im a slut! but should i tell him that ive already done it so he likes me more? please don tell me to tell him the truth! tell me the truth, what do most guys like? Thank you! (K)

Tell him your a virgin and be proud. Dont lie to him, because if you guys hook up he'll probably know you lied. if a guy doesnt/does go out with you for your virginity and whether you lost it or not..hes too immature to be in a realtionship anyway. tell the truth. the end.

Q: does anyone know a site where i can get cute myspace layouts?

Unlike xanga, my space doesnt really have any special cute layouts and stuff. You can customize our own colors and background images though at www.pimpmymyspace.com

Q: OK. i have been going out with this guy for a month and we are both in love. problem: we never see each other outside of school. Another problem: he is 6'2. i am 4'11. as you can imagine i have a hard time kissing! please help!

Just sit down when you kiss/makeout. If you sit down it will be a lot easier. Have fun! =D

Q: pretty soon i know my boyfriend and i are going to have sex. OF COURSE we would use a condom, but i am still overly scared of the chance of getting pregnant if the condom breaks. i am trying to figure out what time of the cycle is the best time to Not get pregnant. i know ovulation is the worst time, but what about before, during, and after my period - which is the best time and which is a risky time? i cant find it on any websites and some people tell me different things... please help, im a spaz

Well cut out during because you cant have sex when your on your period. I think I would wait two weeks after your last period. And you could also use birth control! If your that scared about getting pregnant have your bf pull out before he cums or dont have sex at all.

Q: okay, so i really love that punky makeup look, sooooo i was wondering where i could get some good products. especially eyeshadow. i've seen some girls with hot pink eyeshadow and it looks awsome but every single time i've gotten a pink it just ends up looking too pastel or fuchia-ish! any good products or ideas?

Go to Hot Topic and MAC Cosmetics. Hot Topic will definatley have some punky makeup and MAC has awesome crazy eye shadow colors!

Q: when you have sex for the first time, do you like break and bleed or something? 14/f

It all depends on the girl. It might hurt real bad, it might not. (but most likley it hurts). You'll pop and some girls bleed some girls dont. All depends but yeah, usally it hurts really bad the first time around.

Q: Ok i am 14 and me and my bf have been having sex i aint got my period yet so its good but he wanted to f me in the back door(butt) i wanna let him because it sounds like it would b fun but i dont wanna acidently let a lil poo on his penis id feeel wierd sooo do u think i should use the bath room b4 we do it...pllz answer ty

luv ya
*aimee*

Ummm, just dont do it at all. Its really really bad for you. Health wise you know? But if you dont care, do it but yeah dont worry about the crap thing it wont happen...

Q: I need to get in shape for this summer-like so bad..I've tried almost everything.. and if you have aplan liek 100 crunches then do this liek that ill rate 5's

If you do the low carb diet, you'll be sure to lose 8-13 lbs for the first 2 weeks..and 2-3 lbs a week after that. For more info leave one in my inbox!

Q: this girl that says im her best friend always talks about my other friends behind their back, so i tell them because i dont think its right for her to do that. The other day she was talking about one of my friends named danielle, and so i told danielle this weekend and dnaielle said that my suppose to best friend called me a spoiled brat and a bitch and said that she doesnt hang out wtih me that much because i act stuck up .. but she is always calling me. I talked to the best friend and she siad she didnt say that, but how do i know because she always talks about everyone else to me. What should i do? i rate high!!

Your right, I would believe Danielle. If shes talking crap about other people she probably is talking crap about you too. And besides does Danielle have any reason to lie? I think you should just stop being friends with her. There are people out there who are willing to be a good friend to you and not talk crap. Good luck.

Q: on saturday i was out in the pub with my older sister, she went to her mates next door for a while and left me wif her mates,which i was fine with. i ended up snogging my sisters mate the thing is i was drunk and so was he.im 16 and hes 24.it was such a huge mistake and regretted it as soon as i ahd done it,he wanted me to go home with him but i refused,he got mad and stormed of home.i cant seem to foget about it. what if he tells her?no one elses saw us so shall i just deny everything.?please i dont know what to do.

Just tell her. Dont deny it because she'll just get more mad when she finds out the truth. Just be like I'm so sorry, I was drunk..your my sister, and I love you. I would never do that to hurt you but you have to understand, I had no clue what I was doing". I know it will be hard on your sister but she needs to know the truth.