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cuts
i desperately need help to stop cutting.. im too scared everyone will judge me if i tell them, ive been doing it since i was 11 (now 16). i wanted to tell my best friend but i have already told her i got the scars from random accidents.. she has made jokes in the past about how they really look like self mutilation scars and she said 'i really dont understand how anyone could be into that.. 'i hate my life" *gestured cutting wrist. i was going to tell my teacher when he had a discussion with me on how i deal with emotions but i just couldnt say it. Theres no way i would talk to my mum because she would over react.. and i dont want to go to counseling because i heard they tell your parents.. how can i stop this by myself? i already write a journal, draw pictures and horse ride
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I used to do the same thing and I hid it for a really long time. I stopped cutting about three months ago, but like a month and a half ago things got really bad and my mom started hitting me more than usual and I tried to tell my mom that something was wrong with me and the things I had done to myself but she told me that she hated me and that I should kill myself that night so she wouldnt have to see me in the morning. (and I would have if it wasn't for my bestfriend.) anyways I ended up running away, and that is when everything came out. I was scared at first that my whole family was finding out all this stuff but I felt like I could start over afterwards because I no longer had anything to hide. I am not saying you should run away or anything I am just telling you from experiance that it is going to be hard and very scary but you will feel so much better not having to hide it anymore. And the reason I stopped cutting is because I prayed ssssssssoooooooooo much for god to help me and he did. I started seeing it as,"God gave me a life, and how selfish can I be wasting it." No I am not very religous (not even close) but I have much faith in God. I wish you the best of luck and sorry I had to tell you my big ol' long story. And I know you wrote this a while ago but I really wanted to answer it. And if ever you want to talk e-mail me please. pimpette01_@msn.com
P.S. write back and let me know how this are for you now.
~WestsideAngel~
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hey!!! ok, im 13 and i had started cutting when i was 11. this year 3 of my friends found out and sent me to the school counciler. she called my parents. i thought they would be mad at me, but they werent. they cried with me for hours and got me a personal therapist. now i am SO much happier! dont be afraid to tell your parents!!! trust me, they gave birth to you and they love you so much! you are their little girl! they arent going to be mad! i promise you! i thought my parents were going to react the same way as you think yours are going to! dont worry everything will be ok! i really hope i helped!
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Cutting is like a mind thing so if you want to stop its all up to you. But your best bet is to tell someone, if you choose it to be your best friend, and if shes says"I don;t know why people do that " be like, fine then do it when your mad, then you'll find out. Or something like that, if you tell a teacher, they are responsible fro telling guidance or the offoce or your parents. But if ou reallly want to help yourself, if you like the pain take an elastic band and snap it on your wrist, or squeeze and icecube Theres not much more i can say, but you can IM me anytime (ITSALLKAITLY) Best of Luck to you and I hope things Get better IHIH* <33Kaitlyn
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Ok well first you have already helped yourself in one way, you realized you have a problem and your asking for help. So i have a few tips, when you feel like cutting, take an Ice Cube and put it in the palm of your hand, squeeze it until its all melted and dont let go, it should give you the same feeling as cutting yourself, maybe not the exact feeling but somewhere along that line, once youve dont that if you still feel like cutting take an ice cube and do the same thing, but this time on your wrist and dont let go until it melts. you could also put a rubberband on your wrist and when you feel like cutting just snap it aainst your wrist. its good that you keep a journal, you could also write in your journal things you like about your self and your life, that way you keep your mind on the good not the bad. But i advise you to tell your mother, but if you dont want to tell her, then you should go to a counselor because they can really help, and I have had this problem before with some of my friends and i went to the gudiance to get one of them help, and they didnt tell their parent because she asked him ( the counselor ) not to tell. and the situation worked out good. but if/when you go to a counselor ( just one in your school ) you should ask them to tell your mother, that way it would be easier for you not to fake and pretend everythings ok at home to your mother. You should also have a talk with your friend and tell her whats going on, that might have been her way of saying "please stop if you are cutting" you should invite her over and tell her not to tell anyone because its a secret and its getting taken care of, then tell her that your cutting and say that when she said 'i really dont understand how anyone could be into that.. 'i hate my life" ' that it made it harder for you to tell her because you didnt want her to make judgments about you or put you down or loose a friend, but i can now tell you i am because im getting help for it, and i just wanted to let you know that. and just tell her what you feel, and that you really cant understand the whole " i hate my life thing" if you dont live it first, and hopefully it will give her a better perspective on cutting and the way you feel. Get into new things, like music, more art stuff, writing, poetry, etc. thats how i get out my emotions and when i feel that theres noting left in the world for me, i sit down and watch a sad movie ( or comedy ) and cry/laugh myself to sleep. I hope i helped....keep me updated! mauh xoxoxo
~Katie Leigh~
XxKaTiExLeIgHxX <----Advice column
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I know you prolly think life sucks, but if you down set and think about it, things could be worse. Life doesnt always go your way, matter of fact it seldomly ever goes your way. Nothing is perfect, flaws are withing everything. You just have to realize that whatever it is your going through that makes you cut yourself, you need to just stop and think ONCE before you do it,Why, are you doing it, "Do you really let things get to you so bad, that you would inflict pain upon yourself?" Quit feeling sorry for yourself, no one can change what you do. Im mean sure they can counsel you, and tell you its a big "no,no" But you already know its wrong to do it. So in order to see a change, you have to be the change. Maybe you dont get it or maybe do, all you gotta do is stop being foolish, and thinking that things wont get better and that your life is horrible. Its really not that bad, when I read your question, I already knew that your life isnt half as bad as it could be, you mentioned "you cant tell everyone because your afraid they will judge you" That tells me right there you are known well enough that people would be concerned, also that you have a bestfriend (which you are scared to confide in ) And that you dont want to tell your mom which lets me know you have people who can help you around. But those people can only comfort you, and dull the surroundings that you dont like in your life and havent learned to accept yet, Your the only one who can truly change yourself. Goodluck.
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Sweetheart, there is no way you can do this on your own. If you could, you would already have stopped. Take hold of your courage and ask for help. Go to a teen couselor first and ask for help to talk to your mum. They are there for that as well. It will not be easy, but you must do this if you want to rid yourself of this self distructive behavior. I wish there was an easier answer. Much support and love!
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Well, any person I tell you to talk to will have to break confidentiality as this is an issue which involves you harming yourself. And you've tried to solve this problem by yourself.
You know, some things are just too big to do alone. And that's okay. I do think you need to tell someone, you do need help, and perhaps counselling could really help you. If you think your mother could overreact, do you have another family member you could talk to? Or a guidance counselor or teacher you trust?
If you tell someone else, then they may be willing to sit with you when you tell your mother. That sort of support can make all the difference.
I think a big part of healing will be you telling your mother. You're right in not wanting a counsellor to do it - it's time to take responsibility for your actions, which also means realizing that your problem is serious and deserves help. Your mom might surprise you. At the very least, even if she freaks out you'll still have her support.
You're more likely to stop cutting if people you respect and care about know that you cut and are trying to stop. That way you're not just accountable to yourself, but other people will be keeping tabs on you as well.
I'd tell another adult, get their help in telling your mom, and then find a good counsellor. Best of luck to you.
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You need to tell your mom and you need to get counselling.Is she gonna freak out about it, you betcha. But, you won't get help otherwise.You need it before it gets any worse than it already is. okay? :}
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I just want to commend you on being responsible enough to admit that this is something that has to be dealt with. I think that you need to have time to yourself to really think about what is bothering you in your life. Think about this and try to figure out why these things bother you or make you sad. Life is something that is precious; we have to make the most of it while we're here. Now, I realize that I may not know all that you are going through, but I do know that nothing is worth hurting yourself like that.
I don't mean to push religion on you, but maybe that would be something that could help. If you're not a religious person, then you need to find another way to find peace and resolution. These things are the best ways to confront the problems within that we all face. I hope that my advice helps you out. Best wishes. Friendly advice from Caleb.
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Well about your friend, she just doesnt understand. if she was put into a situation like your's, she would feel like there was no other way to end the pain. Everytime you wanna cut, you just need to tell yourself that the pain will be gone for 5 minutes but will come back anyway. So whats the point in hurting yourself just for 5 minutes of happiness. Why not get full-recovery and full-happiness without doing anything to hurt yourself. Try to understand your body is beautiful and it is yours, you need to take care of it. Whenever you feel like cutting do something else. Like for example, riding your horses. Drawing pictures, whatever you do that will take your mind off of cutting. It probably is easier said than done, but if the things I said dont work or dont help...I think you would need to get professional help. Even if your parents found out. Good luck, keep me updated if you can!
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