thelaura's advice column | Page 42

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Website:

E-mail:

If you want advice in an email (NOT MSN) - laurarocket@hotmail.com

Gender:

Female

Location:

England

Age:

23

Member Since:

July 5, 2006

Answers:

2944

Last Update:

July 7, 2012

Visitors:

111325

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

Fashion and Styles

about

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]

Laura/22/England

Facebook
Forum

advice

Laura,

First off, I am honored that you have listed me as one of your Favorite Columnists, considering how much I have enjoyed some of yours. Second, I know I'm risking this not even getting to you by admitting this, but I really have nothing to ask of you. So, since my youngest daughter is near your age and lives here in the U.S., I would be curious to hear what you think the differences are between a young lady raised there and one raised here. Think about this one dear spirit, let's see the writer in you.

Be well, always a friend,

Gilbert Mar

Thank you for your kind words, Gilbert Mar.
I have to admit, I thought about this question for quite some time and couldn't quite come up with any major differences, other than the fact our surroundings differ. I feel if our cultures weren't so alike, and I was comparing myself to someone raised in Africa for example, then there would be definite differences between us.
In this day and age, we are subjected to the same things in England as you are in America and I feel teens in both countries are faced with the same issues.
I'm going to carry on thinking about this question and ask other peoples opinions because it was definitely a thinker. If I come up with any ideas or receive any, I shall edit my answer here.

13/f
Well I watch some porn on the internet sometimes and i just wanted to know if it is wrong for me to do that. Like it just makes me feel good and stuff and i think it might be keeping me from having sex. ( I know its kind of personal.)

If you like to watch porn, then watch porn. It's as simple as that.
It's not "wrong" if you like it. The only time it's considered "wrong" is when it turns into an unhealthy habit which stops you doing your daily activities.
Also, if it's keeping you from having sex, then that's a good thing considering you're only 13!

hi
i was wondering if its safe to put a tampon in your vagina before you actually get your period? like if its safe. my sis wants to know wether its safe or not so plz answer this question!

You shouldn't really use tampons when you're not on your period.. Also, it would be quite dry.
If she's worrying about coming on, she should wear a pad.

My cousin's grandpa just died. :(

I'm really close to my cousin, but I don't really know what to do or say to her cause I've never really had someone close to me die.

I was wondering what I should do?

I don't want to seem like a heartless person and I don't want to say the wrong thing and make her feel bad...

All advice is appreciated.

Thanks

Trust me, the only thing you need to do is tell her you're there for her if she needs it.
Offering support in a time of loss is the nicest thing to do.
If she wants to talk about it, let her. If she wants to cry, let her.
If you're good at comforting, you can try to make her understand that even though he has died, she will still have the memories forever.
P.S, I hope she feels okay about it soon.

okay. well i have had an advicenators for a while now. but sometimes when i ask a question i wont get any answers. and it pisses me off sometimes cuz i really need help. then on the other hand when i go to yahoo answers sometimes i get stupid answers that dont help me at all. so which do you like better?? yahoo answers or advicenators??

This is better. You get an advice column, easy navigation, nicer people who actually give DECENT answers, etc.
From browsing around, I've noticed most answers on Yahoo are quick and simple.
On Advicenators, people take their time to go in depth to offer the best advice possible.
I don't know why, but this has a nicer atmosphere to it. It's like we're all a little community. :)

my mom and dad are really strict. they dont want me dating or staying out with friends (guys or girls) till one in the morning.

but my bf (my parents dnt know he is) wants to go to vegas with me for 3-4 days. he already bought the tickets and its for august.

i want to go but what lie could i tell my parents so they let me go without them knowing im going to vegas and with a guy.

If your parents found out, do you realize how much trouble you would be in?
It's not like it's hard to conceal going to Vegas, anyway. You can't lie and say it's a school trip or something, because you need consent forms etc. and even if you did manage to wangle your way out of it, they'd still want contact numbers incase they couldn't get in touch with you.
Imagine the embarrassment of your parents phoning your friends/teachers/whatever and asking about you..
What if something happened to you while you were out there?
Your parents are doing this to protect you. As you get older, more responsible and more mature, your parents will become more lax with their strictness. (personally, I don't think they're even being strict at all. 1am IS late to be out. You didn't state your age, but I'm guessing you're mid teens.) Anyway, you aren't responsible or mature enough just yet, because you're thinking up a cunning plan to lie to them so you can go on holiday with a boyfriend they don't even know about.
Just stop and think about how far you're taking this.

You have two sensible options.
Tell them about your boyfriend, let them meet him, then ask about the holiday.

Or

Just flat out tell your boyfriend you can't go.

The tickets shouldn't have been ordered without your parents consent.
I know you probably really want to go, but sometimes you just have to stop and think. and do the right thing.

EDIT: In response to feedback: It wasn't a lecture. When you live under your parents house, you live under their rules. Might suck, but it's just how it goes I'm afraid.

What does it mean when a guy tells you that you got him sprung???....What does sprung mean???

Falling in love with.

What should you do when a friend is lying to you?

*Tell your friend you know he/she is lying.
*Ask your friend why he/she feels the need to lie.
*Tell your friend to stop for various reasons.
No one wants to be friends with a liar.

In your opinion, how stupid are boys?

The same as girls.
Haha!
Has something happened to make you ask this question?

ok so im thinking about transferring schools this year (i will be a sophmore in highschool starting in the fall) and i just found out i have like only a week to make my final decision!! im completely stressed and im so scared im gonna make the wrong choice. the reason im thinking of switching is because this year was definately not what i thought it was going to be. everyone but up this reputation of my school and i found it a little dissapointing.(i was even a little skeptical about going to this school in the first place, but in the end i guess i thought it was the best choice) i mean i know your not supposed to love school, but you should enjoy it, right? well i did not. when i woke up in the morning there wasnt anything to look forward to when i went to school and i was so stressed during the year. (theres more reasons too but then it would take forever for me to write this and im sure you dont want to read that ahah) soo i just would like some advice and tips on decision making seeing how i hate making decisions since im always afraid ill make the wrong one. and this is such a big decision its making it even harder on me! thanks so much!

Thank you for your question.

Okay, so the main important reason you would want to change schools is.. *drum roll please*.. the lessons!
Screw the people at the school - this is your future we are talking about.
I already made the bad choice of staying at a crap school, just because it was literally a 10 minute walk from my house and I knew everyone there. Now, I wish I could turn back time and do it all again, only properly.
You have to realize, not all schools live up to their "standards" and people emphasize everything - so going to a certain school for it's reputation is a little silly.
If you're happy with the lessons and you're getting good grades, stick with the school you're at. If you've found a school which is better for those reasons (the lessons/teachers/learning process etc), then by all means, change. but you have to realize it will be a little hard settling in!
Don't fret about it. A week is quite a while to gain knowledge about other schools and decide which is best for you, personally.
Think about your grades, your future, what you want to achieve, what job you want when you're older...
Will you get that at your current school?

I can't make your decision for you, but I'll say it again. If the lessons are good and you're getting the grades you need, there's not a lot of point in putting yourself through changing schools. but if the standards could be a lot higher and you will benefit from it in the long run, change.

I really hope you think about changing schools for the RIGHT reasons (not friends etc) and you come to the right choice.

P.S.. not many people do enjoy school. It's just a bonus if you do. I can't stress enough how school years are pretty much the best of your life. You just won't realize it yet.

so i asked a question on this already but i have another one.. this time im going to add more details

so at the beginning of this week i experienced a back pain on my lower right that gradually increased and all week it hurt.. saturday i went to this warped tour thing if anyone knows what it is and you know the sun was superrr strong i was sweating and then by the end of the night the sun went down and i got cold i guess from sudden temp change.. but i was so much more cold than everyone around me shivering and all and all of a sudden i got dizzy and stuff and i had already thought maybe its a uti from the back pain.. so i got home and i had a temperature.. the next day i went to the doctor and had a urine test and a strep culture done because my throat had pus a nd was red.. no strep yes uti .. well that was sunday.. today is tuesday i still had a 103 fever up until today now its down to 99 keeps going from 99 to 101 now my throat still hurts and sometimes my heart "feels" like its speeding up but i really cant tell and i get a little short of breath so i took my inhaler once im on antibiotics and moltrin.. im kind of scared at the moment because i always see in the news how some people were misdiagnosed by doctors and such.. anyway im 18 female .. any idea??

You need to go back to the doctors as soon as possible and explain how you're feeling. Those aren't generally symptoms of a UTI. It's possible it may have spread, possibly to your kidneys, because when this happens, you feel quite ill, and have some of the symptoms you have explained.
It's also possible you may have an illness on top of your UTI, which is making you feel this way.
OR, you're having a reaction to the medication you are on.
Obviously, there is no way to know for sure what is wrong with you, because we aren't doctors and we cannot tell from reading symptoms via Advicenators!
My advice to you is to go back to the doctor without delaying.

15/m.

Ok, so I just recently got into a longdistance relationship and its been going strong for almost two weeks, we see eachother via webcam everyday, we text nonstop and sometimes talk on the phone..

But yesterday night she told me she had to go to the movies with this guy. She said the first time they met was at the movies, and within the first hour of the movie they were almost at thirdbase... Im hoping this doesn't happen again, can I trust her?

Why would you want to trust a girl who goes to third base at cinemas with people she barely knows?

What do you want out of this relationship? Do you seriously want to be with her? Because if so, it's going to take A LOT of working out, especially since you're in a long distance relationship. Both participants must be willing. So IF you want to work things out, your first step is to find out exactly what she wants out of this and make it absolutely clear nothing like that can ever happen again.

This is just my personal thoughts on the whole situation, so I'm sorry in advance:
At your age, you shouldn't be in a long distant relationship. They're hard work. You don't need that weight on your shoulders and the constant fear of her doing things behind your back. Think about it - there's no way of you knowing what she will get up to is there? She told you the truth this time, but if she does it again, she might not.
You've been in the relationship for TWO weeks. That's nothing. and she did that? You're better off alone than with the likes of her.
but as I've said, that's just my thoughts.

What happens next is entirely up to you..

Ok so I'm 16 years old and im a girl and i'm not a sexually active person or anything. But on saturday i went to the movies with my boyfriend and we started making out and then he asked me if he could finger me and I said yes. and it was all good at the time. But when i got home and when to the bathroom i noticed i was bleeding but i already had my period early this month. I was bleeding pretty heavily also. I still am bleeding but not as muc but i still am. is there anything i should be worried about? hav i risked my chances ofgetting pregnant in the future? what exactly happened? oh and im a virgin if that helps answer my question at all. thanks a lot =)

Thank you for your question.

Are you absolutely sure it's not your period? and it's just irregular?
If you're sure, then don't panic. He may have "popped your cherry" (broken your hymen - if it wasn't already broken) or was a little too rough and scratched inside.
Either way, none of them will affect your chances of getting pregnant.
If there is a next time, don't be afraid to tell him to be more gentle with you.

what does it mean when makeup does testss on animals

is it a good or bad thing

and why

They test their products on animals, to see if they have any reactions to it. If they have reactions, then it obviously isn't suitable for us.
Whether it's a good or bad thing is up to you to decide. There are pros and cons.

hi, I've had my belly button pierced for about 2 months and I've changed it once, steralyzing (sp) the jewelery and washing my hands before. the top part of the piercing is a little red around it and kind of sore, could this be an infection? also, I clean it regularly.

It doesn't necessarily mean it's an infection. If it's painful, feels "hot" and pus is coming out, then it sounds like it is, which may even need antibiotics to help it clear up.
For now, never touch it when you don't need to, don't let your clothes rub on it, make sure the jewelry you have in at the moment is high quality and isn't irritating it - this will only make the situation worse.
What you need to do:
About 3 times a day, mix sea salt with warm water (not too hot!!) and apply a compress directly to your belly button. Leave it on for about 10 minutes each time.
Give your piercing a few days to see if there are any improvements.
Remember, 2 months isn't long to heal a piercing - everyone is different. So don't keep changing the jewelry when it's unnecessary.
Happy healing. :)

Alright, I have TONS of pictures on my photobucket. I dont feel like deleting any or anything. So to prevent stalkers from stalking me.. please reply to this if youre willing to help, then Ill send you the link to my photobucket. Because I need help picking pictures for myspace. I just want like 5-10 NORMAL looking pictures in other people's opinions. Cause I can never tell. I take weird pictures hah. Thanks!

I'd be happy to help.

I'm not getting a tattoo for at least six months, but I already have the tattoo I want clearly in my mind (and where I want it). I'm not sure how I will get a stencil in to the tattoo artist because I don't have one and I can't draw to save my life. I want a tattoo of a bunny (the kind from Disney's Snow White) and some paw prints around leading to it. It going to start at the top of my foot and end at my ankle. I know I'm going to go to an art consultation, but I'm a bit confused, that happens with the tattoo artist, right? Or someone else? Because I have a hard time imagining a tattoo artist (you know, they typical tattooed burly men) sitting down with my and sketching bunny wabbits.

And also, price ranges for this type of tattoo would be great, and how much time they take to get done.

I got a tattoo yesterday. What he did was take the picture of what I wanted and made it into a transfer and put it on my skin. Then he basically just tattooed over it.
If you find a picture of what you want, the same might happen for you. If not, the tattoo artist will draw it out for you - it's their job.
What you should be focusing on is finding a good tattoo parlour in the mean time. Go and talk to them, ask them about the process, how long it will take, price, etc. When you've visited a few places, decide which one you feel more comfortable with.
It's a bit hard to estimate a price because I don't know where you are in the world, what size you want it etc. Just ask around. You have 6 months to make it perfect :)

are yoo allowed to put mascaa on a fake eyelash?

I wouldn't. You shouldn't need mascara on them if they're fake.
There's no rule saying you can't though, unless it definitely states it on the instructions of the specific ones you have.

i love to sing
i sing i front of my music teacher every friday with a cd and he wants me to sing with out the cd and i dont know how with out the insturmental of the music. even if i did i dont think i can do it i front of my music teacher can u help

It will get easier as time goes on and you gain more confidence without the music.
Ask your teacher if it's possible to have head phones in and the music playing just to you. That way, you will still have the music playing etc, but he won't be able to hear it. :P
Good luck anyway!

why does barbie have boobs but ken doesnt have a penius???

Does Barbie have a vagina? Nope..
The only reason she has boobs is to define her as a lady. They aren't even proper boobs. They're just shaped (with no nipples), which also gives another reason to make her clothes fit better and give her shape.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>