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"Screwing up America's children so you don't have to."

If I had a dollar for every question that I see regarding the function of the female reproductive system, I'd still be poor because the dollar is turning into a banana republic toilet paper currency due to inflation. I've done a lot of cool things involving guns, helicopters, explosives, parachutes, tanks, humvees, artillery, radios, and 12 hour plane flights. If you seriously want to know more about me, find another hobby because I already told you the good parts. Airborne Armor Leads The Way.

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Gender: Male
Location: 42SWB 30859 26028
Occupation: college student
Age: 26
Member Since: January 11, 2005
Answers: 1191
Last Update: September 28, 2012
Visitors: 50941

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There's a guy-let's call him Rick. Rick and my brother, Tim, are friends and after Rick found out that i was Tim's little sister (he's a senior and i'm a soph.- "rick" is a junior) he started like yelling hi to me and all that jazz. Today, my brother's other friend asked if i knew Rick and I said yeah, and he said that we should hang out sometime. So here's my question. I'm not sure if this is like a joke or something- like saying hi to your friend's little sister. So my question is, does he like me or is he just messing around?

ps..Soo on saturday i went to the icecream store that I guess he works at and he gave my friend and I free icecream.

okay, how to put this.... he wants your supple goods, bad. its not a joke that i know of, so just play hard to get and hope he's not doing it to mess with your brother (we do that).
-hitler

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next year im going to a new school..high school and ima gonna be a freshman..all of my friends at my old school think im cute but im like thanks..i dont know that many people in high school so what can i do to make friends easily?

xO Cierra

don't go after senior guys, the upperclass girls hate that alot. try to keep quiet for a few weeks at first, and ease your way into the conversations.
-hitler

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Helloooo I am 16/female and Korean..except I'm kinda preppy..actually very preppy..most of my friends are white..Anyway, is it weird that I only have crushes on WHITE GUYS? Is this normal...or am I racist?? I don't think I'm racist because I do have Mexican and Black friends..I just am only attracted to white abercrombie-type guys...Why??? It's not like they would go out with me though because I'm asian...so if there's a white guy out there, please answer and tell me why won't you go out with me?? I will rate 5's for honest but non-critisizing answers..also I want to know why I know have crushes on white guys!

you're korean and they're not going after you!?
im sorry, but they must be messed up dudes.
I am working my ass off to get stationed halfway around the world to meet korean girls and they have the luck of one in the neighborhood???
but really, its not racist, thats just your type of guy. me, i obviously love korean women. hah, i'm half french canadian, and i think french canadian women and anything french is bizarre and to be avoided. so its not really abnormal, its just what you're used to.(to readers:don't get on me because you're french, you cheese-eating surrender-monkeys, my family left before the bravery gene went extinct.)
-a public service announcement by hitler
edit//
since i'm so funny and you're single, whats your number?

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This guy in my class hates me. I like him a lot, and he used to like me. I don't know why he doesn't like me anymore. I can't eat, i can't sleep, and i can't think about anything but him.... he's everything to me and i know that guys will run if u say that to them so no one knows but me how i feel. I told him i really liked him but he just told me to fuck off. He's constantly making fun of me and i don't know what to do. Everytime he makes fun of me it hurts me really bad and there's nothing i can do about it it seems.... last week i was in the bathroom crying because of what he said. Yet, i still like him for some odd reason someone please help!!!!

thats really bizarre. stop this behavior at once. he doesn't like you, so leave it at that
-hitler

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okay so my me ad my boyfriend were gonna make plans for this weekend and i just found out that he might be goin to this other chics party that i wasnt invited to! and i really want him to be with me this weekend. how can i get him to hang out with me and not them?

go to the party uninvited, he's your property now, so you're pretty much invited to whatever he's invited to, except for a bachelor party.
-hitler

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ok, my ex-girlfriend & I broke up a while ago, & for a while we didn't speak, but now we do & were really good friends, well, she just got out of another realationship (I think shes in this 1 2 get that guy jellious) & again, shes with someone else (I've been with anotehr person since her & I broke up, but now that other girl & I are broken up, but were good friends too) & hes really gross & perverted, & hes really tall & really strong, well, she can just be lead into anything any one wants, & expeshally when she wants to keep a relationship, & hes very good at convicing people to do things, well, he makes her touch certain areas & then he shoves his hand down her skirt, well, he told her & some other people that he wanted to have sex on there 1st date, & she said no, but they way he is, he might rape her or convince her to have sex...

what should I do?

police. now.
-hitler

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I can record videos on my digital camera. Is there any way to get those videos on the computer so I can share them through email, or whatever?

usb port, usb cable.
-hitler

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ok well my dad is an alcholic and he drinks like every night and like a month ago he got pulled over for drunk driving he is in jail now and gets out in a few monthes! but before he went in he would always hit me and my family (not my mom tho)!! it gets me upset and dont no what to do!! and he only hits us when he isnt drunk so its either hes drunk or really mean does ne one no n e thing i can do w/o my mom knowing cuz she would freak if she found out that i tell ppl!! ~kel

can you say restraining order? how about rehab? no? what about getting to plan your own funeral?
maybe this appeals the most: can you plead self defense?
waste this fucker or get him some help for his addiction. go to your local church and try to find some AA folks who'll do an intervention.
this is not a problem to screw around with, one of these days he is going to hurt somebody so bad they'll die. maybe himself, maybe you, who knows?
get him a copy of the big book(alcoholics anonymous) and try to get some form of help in doing this.
i guess that organization is one of the reasons i'm still alive today, if it wasn't for them, I'd be dead somewhere in a massachusetts cemetery. then who would save the world from the chinese?
good luck kid
-hitler

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hi...i really need help. i am on a dance team and they told me that i had to lose weight. this was about a year and a half ago. right when they told me that i had to lose weight to stay on the team i started getting ideas that i was too fat. and now i think im fatter than fat. so during that i year i decided to skip a meal to see if that would help but then i started to skip 2 meals and now im not eating at all. my best friend keeps saying that im anorexic but i dont want to believe it and i dont think its true. either way i am really scared because im losing weight really fast and all but i dont want to lose it this way and im scared that im going to die or something. i dont want to tell my parents so i dont scare them so what do i do......PLeASE HELP ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are anorexic. see a doctor, pronto.
-hitler

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What are some good workouts that can flatten/tone my abs in a couple of weeks? I'm not talking about a six-pack or anything ... just maybe a flatter stomach for the summer. I already do a 20min jog, leg lifts, crunches, and situps ... is there anything else that may help?

Thanks so much!

try to keep your legs locked and elevated 6 inches above the ground while doing your situps
-hitler

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hey everyone! im gettin my car in less than 9 months (i think) and i need some ideas one how to raise money. my dad said that if i save more money than he is going to pay for my car, meaning i pay more than he does for my first car, then i can pick it out. he said he is only going to pay 1,000-2,000 dollars. i no not a lot but i need some ideas to top that! im only 14 so there is not a lot of jobs i can do. i would like to do things other than babysitting...also, i am kinda shy when it comes to puttin out flyers and stuff! someone please help!

work out a deal where you can volunteer at charitable organizations, and with every hour of service, he'll pay for more of the car. that way everybody will benefit.
-hitler

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So there's this guy I've liked for a while. My friends didn't know until recently. When (for fun) theyw ere deciding who was good for me they said the guy i like. (that was before they knew I liked him). So there's this other gorl that likes him for a short while. she says she doesn't anymore but my friends and i think she still likes him. One of my friends (who is friends with both of us; me and the other girl who likes my crush) says that she thinks me and my crush would be good together. Better than him and the other girl. This makes me think i have a better chance of being with him. One of my guy friends said that if you make moves on the guy your chances of getting with him skyrocket 100% I just want to know what are some subtle fliting tips. And if he responds well, what are some bigger moves? Thanks!

look, to guys, subtle moves are defined best by: hey babe, whats shakin?
the definition varies by sex. so just start hitting on him like a crazed drug addled hamster
-hitler

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Today in English we were reading some story about something to do with someone having a disability wanting to play golf. He had trouble walking and had to use a cart to get around to the hole while everyone else had to walk (obviously I wasn't paying much attention). But, towards the end of class my teacher brought up a good point about what the word "fair" meant to us.

Her question was, "Is being fair treating everyone equally, or giving lea-way to those with disabilities so they can be like everyone else.

I was wondering what it meant to you guys.

yeah, i getcha. being fair means, well, here's the legal definition: being fair means giving everybody an equal shake at it, treating everyone with respect to their abilities. the dude may have been a good golfer, but its part of the game to walk. thats like having baseball without any outfielders. cause then its just a homerun derby. sure, he's disabled, but he could play other exciting games and sports like water polo, polo, and billiards. all are equal under the law an in the blind eyes of justice. but not all are expert mathematicians or navy seals. its a fact of life that cripples should get used to, because i will not cater to their needs if they sue me.
-hitler

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whats summer school like? i think i might have to go this year, it'll be my first, no duh. im in 8th grade. and its probably diffrent throughout the country/world, but any one answer please. and if your from georgia and specifically north fulton county then answer my question cause thats where i am.

it just plain sucks if you don't have a cool teacher. but if you have a cool one, its gonna be great.
-hitler

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Hello,
I live in Texas. I have a 16 yo son who is totally out of control. He has been to boot camp but that didn't help. He is making our family miserable and nothing we do (counseling, etc.) seems to help. We cannot find any help in our town, we are told to deal with him because he is our problem. Does anyone have experience with this?
Thank you so much!

do you discipline him at all? teach this prick who's boss with the belt.
you sent him to boot camp? was it against his wishes? that would be wrong.
-hitler

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I like this guy.. we hardly ever talk but I still like him.. what to do?

talk to him.
-hitler

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Today, my family and I (14/m) were out playing sports. All was well for a while. Untill my lil brother started to misbehave and be uncooperative.I got vexxed, but i controlled my rage untill we got home.

At home, i was still vexxed.
(since my birthday is about a montn away)My mom asked me what i wanted for my birthday. I told her "i want my brother to be gone for my birthday. that would be the perfect gift."

She got vexx at me. so vexx she couldn't speak. Sheleft the room.

I went to look for her later and i found her crying. what i said really got to her emotionally. she just looked at me like everything was lost.

that look got to me. i am sorry i told her that.
but i dont know what to do.

What should i do?
i can't let her feel like she grew me up wrong- i am her 1st born. she will just give up with the others too.

please help.

siblings are all fucking assholes, women are all loaded with emotional baggage. these are facts of life, stick to your guns on this and remain totally callous. that is the role of a man- stand behind your word, especially if you are wrong. don't explain, assume she knows the facts, and buy her a nice card on mothers day for making this one so shitty for her.
-hitler
edit/ sorry, do you need a hug now?

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Does anyone have any tips for swallowing pills? I have some pills from my doctor for a bronchidal infection, and they were huge, I had to cut them up into fourths, yet they still are tough to get down. Tips or tricks?

crush them up into powder and mix with Tang or some other orange drink. you could also snort them, the medicine will be much more potent then, but it burns like hell. and it won't work if its pennicillin
-hitler

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I'm a fourteen-year old female I have a girlfriend that I really love but never see. When she talks about sex, she reminds me of my rapist so we haven't had sex yet and I don't think I want to. Every time we talk about getting together she talks about sex, but she writes me poetry and she's really loving. She's suicidal and I feel like protecting her. She hasn't come out to her parents yet and I think she feels safe with me. What should I do? She sort of creeps me out, mostly because she cares about sex so much. I'm a virgin save for my molestation when I was 7 through 8. I don't think she gets that I'm touchy about it, no pun intended (dark humor, sorry). I used to cut myself but I stopped, and she still wants me to. I told her I stopped and she asked me why not. She still does. Her mom's always on heroin and she does pot. I want and don't want to dump her at the same time. Should I break up with her?

hey, there are helplines for nearly every problem you listed. there is a disturbing and disproportionate percentage of gay teen suicides. you need to call a hotline and find a local organization to help her out. this is a seriously fucked up person. she really needs help.
-hitler

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this girl just turned 16.. her name is Olivia.. we met b/c she goes to my school and we've been good friends and we made each other laugh and had a pretty fun and good relationship but then she broke up w/ her freshman b/f.. and we started talking.. and we had late conversations on the phone and talked on AIM alot. The problem is.. i can't say I'm in love w/ her truly if she doesn't talk to me in person.. she treats me like ne other friend when I'm around her but on the phone.. we're good.. and i asked her about it and she told me we just need to get to know each other better. Her best friend is giving me feed back on how she likes to flirt... and she went on a one on one "go out"... it wasn't supposedly a "date".. should i give this girl a try or just stop it?
-Hewitt, 14, TN

dude, just ask her if she likes waffles and omlets, then bring her to waffle house regardless, they serve burgers there too. while y'all are eating, ask her then. ease it in softly, not bluntly, and you'll be guaranteed an answer. be cool, and she'll go for it.
-hitler
hey, you live anywhere near rowe mountain?
got a buddy from there named lanoux.

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